Do You Guys Care For Some Really Bad Shitposts? Dosen’t Matter, I Sketched Some And Took Bad Pictures

Midoriya dressed as Darth Bane

Though Horikoshi portrays Midoriya as Luke in some narrative references which show up in the manga here and there, personally I think Bane’s whole thing for Sith lore and knowledge could also fit with his character! Besides, I don’t know what else to call Midoriya’s whole thing regarding heroes besides “passion”.

Also they don’t know how to deal with girls at the start of both their stories lololol

The pose is a direct refrence to the first Darth Bane Book cover, illustrated by  John Jude Palencar.  

Hello there, may I share an AU/drabble of sort concerning Lambert!

So, while lurking I learned Paul Bullion can play the guitar. Inspired by that, what if Lambert gets a guitar while on the path? (Or perhaps something else. I believe they were around at that time period but I could be wrong?? I’ll go with the guitar for now.) 

In my mind he got it while hanging around Novigrad. He was just looking at a music stand out of curiosity and the vendor told him something like “Go away, Witcher you’re scaring my customers! What’s a witcher gotta do with instruments?” To which Lambert takes offence, tells him to go fuck himself and stomped to the music vendor on the opposite side of the street to buy the nearest instrument. To prove a point.

The guitar is forgotten for a little while. He just hauls it around in its case as he goes from contract to contract. He owns it for about a year or two before he considers scrapping it or reselling it

That was until Eskel comments on it. He dosen’t understand why Lambert carries around a guitar when obviously he would never learn to play it. He tells Lambert just that as they reunite one winter.

Lambert’s response is to rush back out of Kaer Morhen to a bookstore before the snow comes in. He buys himself a manuscript on how to play guitar and he starts to learn right as he comes back to the keep. Eskel’s not about to tell him what he can and can’t do. 

He practices over the winter and it all sounds quite horrible. He only plays in his room when he’s certain no one’s listening.

Come next winter he’s not an expert but he’s passable, and of this the Witcher is proud. His plan to show off to Eskel was forgotten and he kept on playing in his room. He might of started to enjoy it at some point, but he wouldn’t tell anyone that.

One day he stops by Oxenfurt and buys himself a second manuscript, full of new music for him to play. He’s trying to figure one of them out when some man he never met walks up to him. 

The guy is a bard, he learns, and an absolute asshole. A complete elitist who belittles him for how he plays and his little knowledge in the classics. Lambert would love to shut him up, really, but he dosen’t understand a single thing the man is saying. 

He ends up punching him unconscious and storming off. Another book is bought, on music theory, before he leaves the city.

Lambert would love to learn this music theory thing and shove it in that bard’s face. Thing is, he’s a casual player and some music theory is a lot harder to learn on your own than it is to learn how to play an instrument.

So he’s really pissed off to admit he cannot put the bard in his place. Enough he stops playing around humans altogether.

Until he meets Jaskier, whom he refuses to even talk to at first because of his previous encounter with a bard.

But Jaskier is intent on befriending Lambert the second Geralt mentions he plays the guitar. Because why would he not? A witcher that shares a skill with him was bound to be interesting!

No time is wasted on trying to talk to Lambert about music. He asks him multiple times to listen to him play. Every single time, the young witcher tells him to fuck off and locks his room’s door behind him. Jaskier even tried to trade his share of pie (plus Gertalt’s, though he wasn’t aware of this) to just hear one song.

Lambert eventually succumbs to his annoyance and lets him in his room while he practices one afternoon.

Jaskier just sat himself in a chair like he lived there his entire life, took out his lute and asked what they were playing.

Before he knows it, the bard shows up in Lambert’s room whenever he practices. Sometimes they play together, others it’s just Lambert while Jaskier writes. He gave really good pointers to help the witcher play. He even went as far as to teach him a bit of music theory when Lambert asked.

Lambert learned the basics, but also that he didn’t care to learn anything more than that. So he gives the book to Jaskier, music theory was forgotten and they went back to playing and writing.

Winter had progressed quite a bit when Jaskier convinced Lambert to practice in the library instead of his room.

Vesemir said nothing at first. If he happened to also be in the library, he would go about his business. Sometimes, when Vesemir was reorganising the bookshelves, Lambert could hear the rustle of books stop for dozens of minutes. He didn’t think much about it.

After a week they were relocated to “the sitting room”, which the witcher swore didn’t exist before. The old witcher played dumb when confronted about it.

Eskel was the next to discover the room. Jaskier could see him pass by through the small opening in the door. He would lean himself against the wall, stand there for a while and then go about his buisness. Geralt started doing it too shortly after.

It’s uncertain when Lambert became comfortable with the idea to play in front of his family, but Jaskier was probably to blame. Two winters of playing in the sitting room had passed when one evening he broke into song after supper (as he often did). Lambert just stood up, left, came back with his guitar and accompanied him.

After that, whatever form of secrecy surrounding music and Lambert just dissolved. They often played for the other wolves.

Jaskier, Lambert had decided, was not a bad man. Enough so he mentions the asshole bard to him one day. Somehow, some way, just by the brief description Lambert gives him, he immediately recognises the man to be Vlado Marx.

So there came a plan. Once it was spring, they parted with a promise to meet in Oxenfurt during the summer.

Jaskier arrives a week or so before Lambert to produce a band permit for “The Northern Harpies”. They found Vlado Marx playing on a stage in the streets and set up close enough to be a distraction but far enough, so they were not breaking any rules and begun to play.

They annoy the man for over a week by just stealing all his crowd. The fact they got a lot of coin in the process was a bonus

Since then, Lambert and Jaskier play together almost every time they meet and refer to each other as bandmates with a bit of humor.

That was the idea! Sorry if any of it is ooc, I haven’t interacted with Lambert much in the games yet.

Other things that would be cool, but I could not fit in this:

 Lambert and Jaskier arrange a duet version of Toss a Coin and harass Geralt with it.

They enter a barding competition as The Northern Harpies a joke and win.

 Eskel finds the Geralt harassment funny. Then Lambert tells Jaskier about Eskel’s adventures. A song is made. Eskel dosen’t think it’s funny anymore.

They can’t ever agree on what vibe(tm) The Northern Harpies should have, so their experimental phase is never-ending.

Of Witchers and Children

As I really like to snoop in on the conversations the NPCs have in The Witcher, I realised a good part of the NPCs that are nice to you (without you doing something like a contract to win their favor) are kids. Even then, they just run up to you and ask you a question, which even if some of them are not really positive (Like “do Witchers really eat little kids with their stew” or something like that), it’s a step forward from their adult counterpart, who want you out their sight as quickly as possible.

To mention as well, me realising the statement above made me grow a soft spot for the kid NPCs. As in, they’re the only NPCs I purposefully don’t knock over, and if I have a chance to help one I drop everything and go do whatever it is they need (It almost got me killed once lmao).

So, inspired by all of that, I have a few thoughts where Witchers must have realized this diffrence in treatment and made an unwritten rule to be nice to kids as much as possible. Witchers who don’t are considered assholes and untrustworthy. and just them being more open to interacting with kids because of it would be so cute! 

Going back to the kid who asks you if you eat children, some Witcher would just say: “No, I don’t eat children. I only eat mean adults who are not nice to them.”

The children NPCs also compliment your medallion a bunch, and I would expect Witchers would take kindly to that. I assume their medallion to be a prized possession of theirs, so maybe they would mutter a little thank you (You have no idea how much I wish I could do that in-game) with a small smile. To add, wouldn’t it be so cute if the big “scary” Witcher would kneel on the ground to be on the same level as the kid and ask, “You wanna see it?”. The Witcher would show off his medallion and say “Yes it’s a (insert animal of his school). My school likes them. When I’m near monsters and magic, it hums.” And little things like that. (also, a joust like “wow it’s humming right now! Are you magic??” with a theatrical gasp would make itself in the conversation somewhere.)

When you go to a school in Novigrad, one of the little girl NPC exclaim she would be a witcheress when she grows up as they are playing in the courtyard. a little boy makes fun of her because “girls can’t be witchers”.

Now being a Witcher is probably not all fun and the road to become one really isn’t, by any extent. So Witchers themselves would not approve of someone else aspiring to be one, I would assume. Nevertheless, I do not think someone like Geralt, who raised Ciri, would take happily to some little girl being made fun of and told she cannot do something just because she is a girl, especially when it’s his own trade. So, he goes to see the kids and he tells the girl; “You can’t be a witcheress. If you’re a girl in my trade, you’re a _Witcher _and that’s that,” matter-of-factly. Then, maybe he would tell the girl some plant facts (for example, “did you know Witchers use little flowers, like Celandine and Honeysuckle in their potions?” and would tell her some things about the flowers).

Something else for thought; A Witcher would sit on a bench and pull his bestiary from his bag and immediately, the kids playing in the puddles down the street flock to him and ask what he’s reading. The witcher tells them “this is my book about monsters.” To which the kids nod, ask for him to read some to them. They’re given a toned-down lecture about some common monster, alongside how to properly run away from them (with promises they do not try to seek them out or attempt to fight them). To mention, this kind of interaction is really beneficial for the kids. I’d think maybe some Witchers made it a tradition to sit out in the open with their bestiary whenever they arrive at a village, in hopes some kids would flock to them and a short lecture could be given to help keep them safe. (They never just ask. I’d assume parents wouldn’t be keen on being asked if the big scary witcher could tell the kids about monsters, of all things. I’m certain they would get the wrong idea, as in, witcher’s trying to snatch a kid to make more Witchers.)

And last of my running thought, some kid meets Aiden and Lambert while they travel and tells lambert he has eyes like a kitty cat. To which Lambert corrects the kid saying he is a wolf. So he has eyes like a wolf. Aiden is the kitty cat here. Aiden just nods along as if the difference really is that important.

Okay so it took me an entire ass game about magical and discriminated monster hunters to realize my Type is men who would definitely bully me for my lunch money? Have I really sunk so low??

Update: my Type appears to not be men who would definitely bully me for my lunch money, because it turns out I am, in fact, a Lesbian. My apologies for the confusion.

That being said /women/ who would bully me for my lunch money tho-

Okay so it took me an entire ass game about magical and discriminated monster hunters to realize my Type is men who would definitely bully me for my lunch money? Have I really sunk so low??

Hi have a thing I made in 30 minutes only some french canadians may understand

You guys think Hellboy and Geralt would get along? I think they would. I mean, they’re both dry-humored monster hunters who get fucked up by destiny or whatnot (and they try really really hard to avoid said destiny, with varying success)

bug fairies yknow I decided might as well post original drawings too

YO HOLY SHIT- 

omg omg please look at this!!!

They’re going over to Geralt and Yen’s for a dinner date.

The lovely outfit that Lambert is wearing is from @g3n3515‘s imagination.