Midoriya Dressed As Darth Bane

Why does every Thrawn artist draw his hands so well??? What dark power is this? Are you afraid he'll analyze your art and see your weaknesses?? Are you just hand kink people?? What is happening???

Hello there, may I share an AU/drabble of sort concerning Lambert!

So, while lurking I learned Paul Bullion can play the guitar. Inspired by that, what if Lambert gets a guitar while on the path? (Or perhaps something else. I believe they were around at that time period but I could be wrong?? I’ll go with the guitar for now.) 

In my mind he got it while hanging around Novigrad. He was just looking at a music stand out of curiosity and the vendor told him something like “Go away, Witcher you’re scaring my customers! What’s a witcher gotta do with instruments?” To which Lambert takes offence, tells him to go fuck himself and stomped to the music vendor on the opposite side of the street to buy the nearest instrument. To prove a point.

The guitar is forgotten for a little while. He just hauls it around in its case as he goes from contract to contract. He owns it for about a year or two before he considers scrapping it or reselling it

That was until Eskel comments on it. He dosen’t understand why Lambert carries around a guitar when obviously he would never learn to play it. He tells Lambert just that as they reunite one winter.

Lambert’s response is to rush back out of Kaer Morhen to a bookstore before the snow comes in. He buys himself a manuscript on how to play guitar and he starts to learn right as he comes back to the keep. Eskel’s not about to tell him what he can and can’t do. 

He practices over the winter and it all sounds quite horrible. He only plays in his room when he’s certain no one’s listening.

Come next winter he’s not an expert but he’s passable, and of this the Witcher is proud. His plan to show off to Eskel was forgotten and he kept on playing in his room. He might of started to enjoy it at some point, but he wouldn’t tell anyone that.

One day he stops by Oxenfurt and buys himself a second manuscript, full of new music for him to play. He’s trying to figure one of them out when some man he never met walks up to him. 

The guy is a bard, he learns, and an absolute asshole. A complete elitist who belittles him for how he plays and his little knowledge in the classics. Lambert would love to shut him up, really, but he dosen’t understand a single thing the man is saying. 

He ends up punching him unconscious and storming off. Another book is bought, on music theory, before he leaves the city.

Lambert would love to learn this music theory thing and shove it in that bard’s face. Thing is, he’s a casual player and some music theory is a lot harder to learn on your own than it is to learn how to play an instrument.

So he’s really pissed off to admit he cannot put the bard in his place. Enough he stops playing around humans altogether.

Until he meets Jaskier, whom he refuses to even talk to at first because of his previous encounter with a bard.

But Jaskier is intent on befriending Lambert the second Geralt mentions he plays the guitar. Because why would he not? A witcher that shares a skill with him was bound to be interesting!

No time is wasted on trying to talk to Lambert about music. He asks him multiple times to listen to him play. Every single time, the young witcher tells him to fuck off and locks his room’s door behind him. Jaskier even tried to trade his share of pie (plus Gertalt’s, though he wasn’t aware of this) to just hear one song.

Lambert eventually succumbs to his annoyance and lets him in his room while he practices one afternoon.

Jaskier just sat himself in a chair like he lived there his entire life, took out his lute and asked what they were playing.

Before he knows it, the bard shows up in Lambert’s room whenever he practices. Sometimes they play together, others it’s just Lambert while Jaskier writes. He gave really good pointers to help the witcher play. He even went as far as to teach him a bit of music theory when Lambert asked.

Lambert learned the basics, but also that he didn’t care to learn anything more than that. So he gives the book to Jaskier, music theory was forgotten and they went back to playing and writing.

Winter had progressed quite a bit when Jaskier convinced Lambert to practice in the library instead of his room.

Vesemir said nothing at first. If he happened to also be in the library, he would go about his business. Sometimes, when Vesemir was reorganising the bookshelves, Lambert could hear the rustle of books stop for dozens of minutes. He didn’t think much about it.

After a week they were relocated to “the sitting room”, which the witcher swore didn’t exist before. The old witcher played dumb when confronted about it.

Eskel was the next to discover the room. Jaskier could see him pass by through the small opening in the door. He would lean himself against the wall, stand there for a while and then go about his buisness. Geralt started doing it too shortly after.

It’s uncertain when Lambert became comfortable with the idea to play in front of his family, but Jaskier was probably to blame. Two winters of playing in the sitting room had passed when one evening he broke into song after supper (as he often did). Lambert just stood up, left, came back with his guitar and accompanied him.

After that, whatever form of secrecy surrounding music and Lambert just dissolved. They often played for the other wolves.

Jaskier, Lambert had decided, was not a bad man. Enough so he mentions the asshole bard to him one day. Somehow, some way, just by the brief description Lambert gives him, he immediately recognises the man to be Vlado Marx.

So there came a plan. Once it was spring, they parted with a promise to meet in Oxenfurt during the summer.

Jaskier arrives a week or so before Lambert to produce a band permit for “The Northern Harpies”. They found Vlado Marx playing on a stage in the streets and set up close enough to be a distraction but far enough, so they were not breaking any rules and begun to play.

They annoy the man for over a week by just stealing all his crowd. The fact they got a lot of coin in the process was a bonus

Since then, Lambert and Jaskier play together almost every time they meet and refer to each other as bandmates with a bit of humor.

That was the idea! Sorry if any of it is ooc, I haven’t interacted with Lambert much in the games yet.

Other things that would be cool, but I could not fit in this:

 Lambert and Jaskier arrange a duet version of Toss a Coin and harass Geralt with it.

They enter a barding competition as The Northern Harpies a joke and win.

 Eskel finds the Geralt harassment funny. Then Lambert tells Jaskier about Eskel’s adventures. A song is made. Eskel dosen’t think it’s funny anymore.

They can’t ever agree on what vibe(tm) The Northern Harpies should have, so their experimental phase is never-ending.

Yo if I may add another little suggestion here:

I live as part of a spoken minority group. You’d expect we would all have the same accent but we don’t at all. There’s a saying around here that states that for every twenty kilometers or so the accent changes.  And it’s kind of true! I live inside the city, where we speak one way and have our own little figures of speech and whatnot. You go maybe five to ten minutes out the town and the people there speak in a whole different way: figure of speech are different, sometimes the syntax is different too. 

However, and this is the funniest part, we all understand each other, even if literally none of us speak similar at all. So may I suggest in the instance of Hobbits, that though they all have pretty different dialects they would understand each other very clearly! 

You’d have Frodo speaking to Pippin one night over the fire. Boromir doesn’t really understand what both are saying but he is 90% sure they’re not talking the same way at all, I mean the pronunciations aren’t even remotely the same! Yet they understand each other completely??? What is this?? 

Aragorn just sighs and tells him he’d get used to it. 

maybe.

Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

I’m not original but I made some Witcher OC based on owls because I love owls! (I also made a dragonfly Witcher down below if you’re interested)

He would be just the Owl Witcher Josef. Like other treasure hunts he would be mentioned in an inventory list written by a servant to his master, who thought Josef was Sketchy and so requested his belongings be checked. The inventory list indicates he carried patents for armor and weapons. 

I didn’t really make much research on what boosts it would give but I’d guess the weapons could focus on bleeding/staggering? The armor could focus much the same things as other Witcher gear and maybe some stamina bonuses as well?. (Though, and I know it’s dumb, it giving you bonuses in hand-to hand combat is something I would want because I think it would be funny to fist fight things viably.)

also as a bonus, a much less detailed drangonfly witcher because dragonflies are peak, naturally bioengineered killing machines that I love with my whole heart.

While making Han, pictured here it kind of dawned to me that his mutations would be very different than that of a Witcher. 

(This is edge incoming btw) 

So, instead of having a Drangonfly school, in my head they’re a specific faction of Witchers made to be a bigger fish rather than someone with a monster hunting profession. Like Dragonflies, they hunt year round of their own will. Their extra mutations make them capable of eating a variety of the monsters they hunt, as to be able to go without needing human food. A sad drawback of this is that some Dragonflies will amount to just eat anything, humanoids included. When this happens they’re deemed too dangerous and are hunted down by other Witchers.

some of their mutations have aim in making them in complete control over nearly every joint they have individually, but the process often messes with their bodies’ nervous systems and gives them tics/nervous reflexes. The mutations also affect the pigment of their skin and their body’s ability to produce hair, so their skin tone ressembles that of Geralt when he drank potions and the hair on them grows patchy and uneven.

Dragonfly Witchers are drifters who mostly unlearned their human behaviors while retaining their application memory. They hunt and that’s basically what they know. though, some blurred memories could sometimes make Dragonfly Witchers migrate towards their previous schools during the winter, though the reason as of why they are drawn there or where the keep is exactly has been forgotten. 

In-Game you’d first hear of Han from Vesemir. He says he caught wind about one of the Dragonfly Witchers that came from the Wolf school, though he didn’t believe it at first, thinking all were long gone. 

You’re informed Han had begun to hunt humans. You can then follow a Side-quest to go hunt him down, which will give you his entire Dragonfly gear in return, swords included. You also have the option to capture him and attempt to help him, though I deem this could also go bad and you’d have to kill him anyway. You’d also get extra options to ask Vesemir about Han, who had helped train him when he was still following regular training, but had not seen or heard of him since he completed his training. He had assumed, after none had spotted him for decades, that he had just died without a soul to tell, like the rest of his kind.

I thought I might as well post my Star Wars stuff here too, so have some Chiss children. I like to imagine the chiss have traditional wear made to withstand extreme cold. They've been underground on Csilla for a while, so the traditional wear could be reserved for like some ceremonies or holiday celebrations that involves going back to the surface (festivals maybe?). Off-worlders use it for the colder months.

Pompoms and little appliques on pouches and coats are popular for kids, with animals and snowflakes designs being very popular. That one on with the stick is a young Thrawn, who insisted to have the expansionary defense fleet logo on his coat. I also like to think he would still have his snowflake pouch and he wears it at the belt on his current traditional outfit.

Okay so it took me an entire ass game about magical and discriminated monster hunters to realize my Type is men who would definitely bully me for my lunch money? Have I really sunk so low??

I really love reading all the fan stuff and AUs people make for Stewjon so I'll add my weird cooky take as well. I like the idea that they are an old colonized world (like Legends Csilla) and though most of it is now part of the republic and quite normal by galactic standard, some of the native population still live secluded from the rest of the planet by long standing fear of being wiped out. Local call them the Fae and warn to never venture in their forests, as those who do never return.

Ra's based Damian (on top does it actually look like Ra's idk prob not) plus my personal design of him (bottom) ok byee

Hi have a thing I made in 30 minutes only some french canadians may understand

Jaskier’s Fear

It’s come to my attention that many of us creating fan works for The Witcher concerning Jaskier like to portray him as fearless of Witchers from the get-go. This is all fine, I don’t judge, writing him/portraying him makes for some nice fanwork which I also enjoy but may I also suggest:

Jaskier starts off scared shitless of Witchers. Cause why wouldn’t he? almost every other human adult is to a degree. To mention, he is a noble. His opinions on the world and its intricacies are obviously based off books and stories distributed in the high circles. That much is obvious when he meets the elves; he accuses them of being selfish and hiding treasures in their golden palaces.

You know what says almost the exact same thing about elves? Books you can loot in the royal palace of Vizima. They paint as bad an image for dwarves and Witchers, too. Because of where they are found, I can’t help but conclude people interpret these works as factual and that they are distributed to high society.

So Jaskier, who learned at an academy and was raised by nobility, would have to have some opinion of Witchers from such books. When he goes out into the world, he has no experience with any of these things, so his current knowledge is limited to his readings, resulting in the statement with the elves.

Jaskier would fear witchers like everyone else. Because the books and his entourage just showed him that it was the right reaction. Obviously now, we are off to a bad start for him to build any form of relation with them.

But this is where Jaskier’s stubborn and perhaps self-destructive curiosity comes into play. If he’s curious, absolutely nothing, even great fear, will stop him from answers and discovery.

So as Jaskier’s travelling to discover the world, he walks up to a stranger in the back of a tavern. Obviously, his gut sinks when he realises the stranger is not only a Witcher, but the Butcher of Blaviken.

But terrified or not he is intrigued. He never saw a Witcher before. Geralt dosen’t look like what the bard pictured them to be at all. He boasts his identity to the whole tavern and what does Geralt do? he just runs off without a word. No aggression, no blood no nothing. He just stepped off.

What was up with that?

He wants answers. Despite how scared he is of him, he follows Geralt. He dosen’t relent when Geralt punches him, because Geralt didn’t kill him right there and then like he thought he would. He’s the Butcher of Blaviken and the stories paint him to be a bloodthirsty killer but he just lets him off like that?

Seriously, what was up with that?? He gets more curious.

When they get to the hunt and captured, Geralt is swift to try and protect him. His books though him Witchers were supposed to be careless but, but this one just threw himself in front of him and danger, no questions asked. It was… heroic, to say the least.

The fear shifts just a little bit at this notion. Now Geralt is still a big and cold witcher in his mind, but he is also somewhat of a protector.

They get freed and Jaskier decides he wants to know so much more. To his knowledge a witcher’s job was to kill, yet the Witcher riding his horse a few feet away from him did not kill anyone that day. Geralt meets none of his pre-built notion of witchers. He wants to know all of what the books got wrong, and he’ll sing about them too.

Then time passes and Jaskier’s view of Geralt goes from big scary witcher to just cold-hearted a bit later. Then he’s proven that’s not the case at all, because Geralt cares for his horse too much be cold-hearted. He saw him purposefully lose a fist fight to let a man get crowns to feed his family. Saw him soothe a child with his signs as they recalled his father getting shredded by a monster before is very eyes, and he does it so gently, kneeling at the kid’s level.

He concludes that beneath all that hard interior, the man cares. He cares so much that Jaskier a bit ashamed to he ever feared him. There existed not a single reason on the continent as of why he should. Sure, his exterior is intimidating and all that, but this was not what he was, deep down.

The association of safety and Geralt sticks to the bard after that.

Now the whole “he’s not scared” thing begins. Jaskier gets used to other Witchers mind-bogglingly quick and it is not ignored. Geralt’s brother immediately notice the human who has zero traces of fear. When questioned about it, the white one just blink, takes a whiff and says; “Oh, you’re right. He isn’t scared. Strange.” Because the change in Jaskier’s scent was slow and gradual. Geralt may have never really noticed the change before.

The bard isn’t scared because if Geralt dosen’t think they’re a threat, Jaskier reasons there’s no reasons for him to be. Besides, he learned his lesson of judging Witchers by appearance.

On his side, Geralt probably smelt how scared Jaskier was when they first met. He did not understand why the bard insisted on following him around if he feared him so much.

Admittedly, he is a bit intrigued too. So, he lets Jaskier run around him. He would just run off in horror eventually, anyway.

But he never does, even if the fear dosen’t subside. Geralt tests him, to see if Jaskier would flee if he were just mean enough, yelled loud enough, but the bard dosen’t relent. Instead he just bites back, sings louder when Geralt tells him to stop much more rudely than was necessary. He roughs him up, bats his shoulder, Jaskier just gets back up, says “ow.” Moves on. Hits back. He never just bends even if he is terrified.

Geralt eventually realises he cannot be rid of Jaskier. The tests are dropped. He notices how whenever Jaskier smells like fear, he hides behind him, after a while.

Geralt has no choice but to admit he was the reason of this because no one else was around to do such a thing. And I am sure as hell this realisation would affect him because someone who used to fear him greatly now associates him with safety and protection. Has it ever hit you someone found you safe enough to desire protection or help without you never doing anything but being yourself? To people like Geralt who have low self esteem, think they’re monsters or unworthy of things, that must be worth more all the riches there ever was.

Just food for thought but think!! About how much growth!! Jaskier and Geralt can just be used as an example too, imagine stories of random humans learning not all is what it seems and growing from it and Witchers realising those who stopped to get to know them treat them like normal people, like they’re important with no other explanation but the fact they’re actually good people deserving of respect?? It’s just so good!