Futuristic-koalakid

Haha !! This killed me !!

SILENT NIGHT ‧͙*̩̩͙❅ CL16

pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader ( she/her )

summary: Loss doesn’t need to be lonely, grief doesn’t need to be an enemy.

warnings/info: hurt/comfort, mentions of death — loss of a loved one, grief, crying, hugs/cuddling, the internal conflict of loosing someone during the holidays.

word count: 1.2k words

note: the 27th of december has not been the happiest time of the year for me in a while, so yes, this is kind of self-indulgent. this is also for those who have lost someone during the holidays (or ever). i know how painful it can be to put on that fake smile, to force yourself, but please don’t. cry all you want, feel all you want, don’t destroy yourself for things out of your control or that are no longer under it. you are not alone, you are loved and cared for, always remember that. ♡

snowglobe, a holiday special

DECEMBER 27th.

Humans are not forever.

It’s evident, plain to see, to experience, but then why love so deeply we yearn for infinity? Care so strongly while knowing its definability? It’s what makes you human, everyone says—loving people who give so much to remember, getting your heart broken by them because, at some point, it’ll be your turn to break one, two, a hundred hearts. 

They say a heart that's broken is a heart that's been loved, so you’re glad your heart’s broken. Even when mom’s not here to swipe your tears, hold you close, or tell you how to fix it—when she's not here to argue, talk it out, or stay silent—you're thankful she got to see you grow, see you fall, stand up, and succeed. She saw you fall in love and loved the man who held your hand.

Said man must be near—Charles must be somewhere near; you can hear heavy breaths leaving his lips every now and then, something he does when he’s overthinking. It’s strange, you think. Perhaps he’s become such a recognizable character in your life that it’s instinct to hear it, or, more realistically, the small sound assumes spotlight because of the silence embracing your apartment. You don’t know, and you don’t think further about it. It’s just Charles.

You think about the time lost, not knowing how long you’ve been here, cuddled on the beige couch in your living room as memories of your mom submerge your mind. You stare at the half-drunk cup of hot chocolate settled on the coffee table; it seems cold now. That’s a way to ensure time has passed.

Your slight change of focus leaves the dissipation of heavy breaths unnoticed. Now you hear their replacement, gentle steps that grow louder until they stop before you, crouching until green eyes meet yours. Charles looks beautiful. The dim lights of the fake fireplace and Christmas tree caress his features. His eyes don’t look as green, but a warmer color. He smiles close-mouthed, taking your hand in his, and you let yourself smile back.

He doesn’t talk, understanding you well enough to know you don't want to talk at all. His thumb starts making shapes on your skin, memories taking you back to that night a year ago, when Charles drove you home from the hospital, his hand never leaving yours, doing the same shapes he’s doing now. You remember how, upon arriving, he stayed next to you until you finished one glass of water, then made sure you dined, how he helped you shower, and the moment he cuddled you in bed while you cried, muttering sweet nothings in your ear, his voice quivering because he had been crying too—he had known your mom for eight years by then. He called Andrea the following day, asking to be instructed in soup making and taking care of the two of you all day.

A lot of those days were faint, blurry memories, but if there's one thing you are certain of, it's that Charles never left.

Your eyes travel around the room, landing on a photo on the wall. It’s Christmas 2021, you and your family are all warped up in each other—it’s one of the pictures your dad lent you early this year, once hung up on your mother’s office. Next to it is one of a younger Charles with your mom and dad. It was taken a little over six years ago, the day you told them you were dating. It makes you smile. Your mom always loved Charles; even before you started dating, he was her favorite friend of yours, always so kind and funny. 

You’re about to travel back in time when there’s a small tug on your hand, turning your attention. Charles is moving around, sitting down on the floor. He looks up at you, then at the picture, he smiles saddened, the beautiful memory stinging as much as it does to you.

For the first time, you feel the need to say something, to explain yourself. But not knowing what to say, you say the simplest: “I miss her so much.”

He leans down to kiss your hand. “I know, baby, I know."

Silence falls over you once again, and the necessity to talk vanishes. You look back at the gallery, now focusing on the same type of picture as before, but it's a younger you with Charles, his mom, and brothers; there’s a bed between you and Charles, Hervé Leclerc smiling at the camera. There's writing on its frame: May 2017. You look at Charles, a small tear tempting to fall but a smile on his lips. You lean down to kiss his cheek, letting him know that it’s alright to cry. He brings you closer, kissing your lips—small pecks over and over again.

He stops, briefly glancing at the other two photos hanging on the wall, one of Charles' family and another of the two of you, promise rings on your hands, smiling at the camera. You think about your families, about you, and about how it's been a year since your mom left, and you still want to tear the world apart. A newfound feeling spreads across your body: guilt. Guilt of spending your night consumed by dread and grief, letting Charles fall into it.

You hate this feeling. 

Charles let’s go of your face, cupping your hands together with his. You know he sensed the change; his big green eyes are asking questions you don’t want to answer. You want everything to stop hurting, the memories to stay happy, and the bittersweet taste on your tongue to be eradicated.

He waits, and you break. “I want it to stop,” you mumble. “I want the pain to go away; I don’t want to think about it. I want to go back and not feel like I did on the 24th, like I wanted to run away and cry in my room for hours. I don’t know how to deal with this, Charles; this is too much. I can’t, can't do it.”

The buildup is too much, your breathing is heavy and fast. Charles hurries towards you, his hands hovering over your frame. “No, non, bébé, I’m here; you know I’m here, just like you are always here for me,” he hesitates, but charges through. “Someone once told me that it’s okay to feel sad, it’s okay to cry, to, to grieve. She told me: Grief is part of love, never hold back from loving.”

And you don’t know what to do or say. He’s cupping your face, looking at you so lovingly as he continues, “You told me that, chérie, so don’t hold back; even if she’s gone, keep loving her." He says, “You will slowly let go of the loss, I promise, I know how it is, just never feel guilty for loving her.”

It occurs to you at that moment that you haven’t cried in weeks, tears forbidden by a nonexistent rule, so when the first sob leaves your lips, there’s no regret over it. Tear after tear, sob after sob, your heart grieves.

Charles crawls up the sofa, bringing you to his arms, your head now on his chest, wetting the soft material of his shirt. You are about to care when his hand brushes your hair and back, and there’s no use in stopping it.

“Thank you,” you say between sobs.

“I love you,” he answers, knowing you do too.

i miss my mom so much

taglist — @smartstupyd @ziarah @nouvellevqgue @iloveyou3000morgan @carsgovroomm @goldenalbon @doofenshmirtzevil-inc . . . add yourself here

subtle intimacy is so soft!! knowing someone’s routine and slowly becoming a part of it. memorising favourite teas and soups and drink orders. good morning and good night texts and messy paragraphs of love written half asleep. nicknames only you know. just!!! small things that say “look how dear you are to me.”

｡◕‿◕｡

Genderfluid Kaminari + Shinsou Icons for @demigoddesofchimichangagod

bts talking about past memories ♡

⠀⠀⠀about the Mugen train movie , there is one detail that I couldn't stop thinking of . you know that part when they get into the main characters' subconscious ? Tanjiro's subconscious is extremely clear and peaceful , but Rengoku's was endless fire and unbreathable air , as well as a covered sky . so i immediately thought , there is just so much that he is repressing . as fiery , passionate and kind he may seem on the outside , i think that there is a lot of clash between what he wants to be / show and how he feels ; as much as he doesn't want to ,

i'm pretty sure that the abuse of his father has affected him deeply . perhaps is it that he also possesses the same capacity to anger and be harsh with his words , but refuses to act as such , and instead chooses a different front .

but that inevitably creates inner turmoil since there is conflict . the inability to reconcile how he feels with what he is , following duty instead of heart ; and the fact that there is so much at stake and so much out of his control . especially that he is still desperately searching for his father's approval , which never truly comes .

there is so much that he has to protect , so much that his own heart comes last . and all the fire surrounding him is inevitably burning him inside .

i just thought it was a very interesting detail and i really wanted to comment on that . .

fire can be a good thing , it is warm and passionate ; but fire burns too . and his subconscious just seemed to be very far from tranquil . and i can only imagine that if rengoku were to truly snap , it wouldn't be pretty . he may even mirror his father's actions and words , and that , he would absolutely hate himself for .

a thing to explore . . 👁️

it's got my brain to think about such scenarios . . 🤨

♡︎ —bts; ot7

𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗱 ♡

singing in the rain

pairing: non-idol!college au!han jisung x gn!reader, slight non-idol!felix x gn!reader

prompt: a stray kids version of enouement.

word count: 12.2k~

warnings: angst with a happy ending. mutual pining that’s fully believed to only be one-sided by both parties. temporary relationship with felix. heartbreak. no communication at one part after jisung ghosts reader for almost three weeks. big brother-figure chan having serious talks with reader. fluff in certain parts, though.

daisy’s notes: haha sorry i rarely write for skz so i’m sure this is bad in terms of like… characterization. i am trying :) (also the fic is named after the golden child song)

By most people’s standards, Chan should be your best friend. The two of you grew up close to each other, Chan’s house right down the road from your own. His family knew you by name and all of your favorites (because Chan knew them first), they watched you follow Chan around like a duckling, and your parents were always making enough food for Chan to have when he inevitably showed up with you for dinner most nights. If anything, Chan was like a brother figure to you (sometimes a bother figure when he was in that affectionate mood). You loved Chan like family. If you had a best friend, Chan would be it…

… If it weren’t for the way you seemed to click with Han Jisung ever since that first day of freshman orientation.

Keep reading

# to tell you the truth

20 — change of heart

smau masterlist ∗ previous chapter ∗ next chapter

note: double update yay! flashback arc starts next chap

pairing ∗ itoshi rin x f!reader

synopsis — all you wanted was a peaceful and productive uni life, but despite your pleas, your plans start crumbling when the star of the football team, itoshi rin, begins to beat you in every aspect possible. as you confront the inevitable, what happens when you uncover secrets behind an unforgettable event from the past?

taglist ∗ send an ask / comment to be added or removed

@kitorin @yunxbin @simeonswif3 @pookiebear16 @mellozhi @biaonww @jiaspoon @supahumbreon @mine-lu @rijhi @suguruwhore @matchablossomsss @i-have-a-lot-of-ocs @kiiruv @pinkismyfavcolor @tamimemo @linmabbe @toffeeeez @hahausernamegobrrr @iuspired @neneletter @gigiiiiislife @bl3uc0r3 @court-jester-stuff @csbnova @raidenshogunmommy @saeskiss @shironagi @y-sabell-a @hotdogkongmalaki @kitsunetori @kryscent @brainrottingforhotpixels @tojirin @thomatri @urslytherin @iheartpinky @hy1pnos @sus0daddy @simplyvyn @cayl33n @supahumbreon @rijhi @court-jester-stuff @kascar-chronicle @kokoiinuts @ceramic-raven @xoxojisu @totallytatum @mikashisus @evry1luvssm @herprinceexpert @imheretobeinvisible @fairyystar @blissblossom @pvndomi

guren really went from "don't you fucking touch me shinya" to "don't you fucking touch shinya" huh.