Coming Back From Ncs (week One) [pt 2]

september struggles

Sat 30th Sep - 22:06 what's up! it's the start of a new (and for me, final) academic year.

this month has been so much and so little at the same time? if that even makes sense. i'm slowly learning to use an actual camera. so far i've borrowed two different models from my youth foundation, the canon eos m50 and the canon 200d with a 50mm kit lense. I found the m50 really fun to use and i picked up on how to use it really quickly! i had more difficulty with the 200D, or more specifically the ability to zoom in and out? i looked up tutorials on youtube but i couldn't find anything. anyways it was really zoomed in which i didn't really like seeing as i'm learning to use cameras for the sake of making a film portfolio, so i found i liked the other camera more as it felt more flexible. on the more school-focused side of things, i had a ton of trouble on my media coursework, which i found incredibly hard to start on - the aim was to make a film magazine which i haven't done a lot for yet - my teacher said my initial drafts feel more like a fashion or editorial magazine than anything else i had aimed to catch up for sociology entirely, but i only managed to do one of 4 sections.

i think the first month back to school is always the hardest, it weirds me out thinking this is my last first month back ever. growing up feels weird. until next time! Amina p.s - times flown by so fast, its weird looking back and editing this in my drafts, i'm somehow posting on new years eve but its better late than never!

one of my best friends got her results today!! she's going to the top uni in the country for her course, I'm so happy for her but I'm also really sad she'll be going so far, it also happens to be the same place I'm aspiring to go. I think reality is starting to hit me in terms of where I am and what I should be doing to get there, the work she put in is no joke

late at night a few days ago i saw a video of the illuminations firework show in paris that made me cry. today i saw a flyer advertising another firework show on the street and i burst out into tears all over again. pretty things and i can’t mix as much as i want them to. or maybe its just fireworks? i really don’t know. oh dear god  i just realised how sappy i’m being  lol bye ~Amimi

hello! i normally try to keep up with a monthly or weekly schedule but for this week and next week i'll have a lot on my plate with school work! maybe i'll do a new years post but this time it's not going to be my usual post on the 31st at 11:59 so i wouldn't keep up my hopes up. i really want to get back on track before the 3rd of january. i'll see you all soon! until next time! Amimi

i went to youth club for the first time yesterday!! it was very fun and cute! i think i want to start going on a weekly basis if i can

this is one of many, many, many notifs. first corn accs now bots oml tumblr give me a break pls

this is my 169th post and i was fittingly just sent what seemed to be some blurred out male genitalia ( i didn't click to reveal dw ) from some crypto account with no posts, i mean you're on theme? but fuck you dude. fuck you.

Normal people: *go to the library to grab a book and go*

Me: *go to library to smell the books and huddle in the corner behind a mountain I've created out of Oscar Wilde novels*

who wants to make a hidden society of the arts with me? who wants to wear old tweed blazers, blouses, dress pants, black stockings and oxfords with me? we can meet in the same tiny cafe or in a hidden bar. we can paint, compose music, write poetry, stories, read to each other, learn and teach each other languages, new and old, existing and made up. we can critique each other’s work over a coffee or glass of red wine. we can discuss ancient and modern history, artists, writers, old and new composers. we can read newspapers, write journals, learn about what is happening in the world. we can be the silent academic rebels of society. we can make history. both boys and girls, we can be a brotherhood. an alliance. we can change the world

2 days into work experience and oml, reality slaps you hard. i never knew having a 9-5 job was this tiring.