On The One Hand, Having A Puppy Is Great. On The Other Hand, Have You Ever Had To Pry Open A Hyperactive

Just finished Good Omens 2 and-

…

I am NOT okay

I need fix-its and I need them NOW

catch me spending 14 hours a day on ao3 for the foreseeable future and good luck trying to get me to do anything else

Thank god it’s summer

joking that an adult character who acts childish doesnt know what sex is will never be as funny as saying the same thing about a big tough murderman videogame protag

So it’s my brothers birthday, and I got him something online a few weeks ago. For whatever stupid reason, it only started shipping yesterday and won’t be here for a while, so we printed off a picture of what I got him and we’re gonna give that to him today. The plan was to put it in an envelope or something, but then my mom asked if I’d wrapped my present to him yet. She quickly realized her mistake and corrected it, but I had already heard, and seeing as I am hugely pedantic, well...

Did I wrap a single slip of printer paper? Yes

Did I do it in Christmas wrapping paper? Also yes

Did I do a good job? Well, it turned out square, so we’re gonna go with no

Cleaning with ADHD all about momentum. Its like being a shark, if you stop moving you just straight up die.

Upcoming Villain in Gotham: if only we knew Batman's identity! Then we could just go to his house and-

Riddler: we all know his identity

Catwoman: I regularly go to his house

Harley: I went to med school with him

Two-Face: he was my best friend

Red Hood: he's my Dad

UCVG: ...wait what?

Red Hood: family, you know how it is.

love will always find you. Both threat AND promise

tell me it’s not only me

The joys of being the family confidante