I Heard That War Has Been Declared By @thetrueratking. Shall We Be Fighting?

@xiaokuer-schmetterling happened uprawn this crabulous post

would it krill you to have a little shrimpathy?

when i first heard the term "lolcow" i thought it would be pictures of cattle with captions like "u no can haz cheezburger"

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

she has been pickled for her crimes

do you think anyone ever had their sexual awakening from the scallions from veggietales and now they really want someone to use them as a footstool or a table to play scrabble on and tie them up and beat them up and throw them out of babylon

my millsberry pets have probably been repossessed now that it's been eighteen years since i bought them food with my cinnamon toast crunch pachinko money

Cardinal singing outside my window just fucked up his call and had to start over. Lmao

Bridget I forgot to post here.

(Being called slurs on twt for this drawing lol)

"frank zappa" is what i call my electric hotdog cooker