All I Ever Did Was Either Chase Someone Or Run Away From Another, When The Only Thing I Really Wanted

Do I wish for someone to look at me and think that I am the most beautiful painting they've ever seen?

Do I wish for someone to hold me oh so softly, afraid that they'll hurt me if the grip is even a little tight?

Do I wish for someone to think of how it would feel to kiss me, to be kissed by me?

Do I wish for someone to think of me when they see purple sunsets and orange dawns?

Do I wish for someone to tell me that they've been thinking about me the whole day?

Do I wish for someone sing to me and cuddle me to sleep?

Do I wish for someone who can't stop thinking about a beautiful future where we belong together?

Yes.

I wish that.

All of it.

But most days I wish someone would just smile at me.

Everytime you smile it feels like I am bathing in the warmth of the afternoon sun, slowly disintegrating into the golden swirls that pour from your brown eyes. How often have I melted at your fingertips so that you may scoop me up and paint such beautiful sunsets that tell the stories I have kept locked away. I don't know which is more beautiful, to become a breath taking painting or to be the favourite colour of the painter.

There is no escape.

You can't run away from your mind.

From how you look and who you are.

But like the sky, you will never be blue all the time.

Like the sky, there are colours in you that are beautiful.

You have your own winters and springs,

Your own dawn and dusk.

Stars in your laugh and moonlight in your eyes.

Like the sky, you're the comfort to someone somewhere.

This is the moment you have to realise, being you is fine.

Because like the sky, you hold so much beauty and comfort.

What about the ones who don't figure it out? Do they splash around in love till someone comes along and save them? Or do they drown slowly, regretting that they fell in love? I wish we knew how deep the waters were before we decide to dive in. I wish we knew how much it hurts when you try to breathe underwater.

“Some people don’t know how to fall in love, like not knowing how to swim. They panic first when they jump in. Then they figure it out.”

— Sarah Addison Allen

I listened to your song today.

Again and again.

Your voice is just the right amount of comfort I need.

The lyrics are words pulled out from your thoughts.

And I can't help but feel happy,

knowing I finally had a glimpse of your mind.

I think I haven't craved anything like this in forever.

Your thoughts are like magic.

It pulls me in closer,

and hugs me a little tighter.

Your thoughts are also like the night sky.

So beautiful, yet too far away to be true.

Music made by your hands,

blended with the sweet humming of your lips,

carefully speaks stories to the listener.

This is what a song should be.

Your songs are like ocean,

and everyone takes away what they can.

To be honest I hate that.

I wish you only sung for me.

I wish only I heard the sweet ramblings of your head.

I wish you wrote those lines for me.

I wish I could hide you from the world.

I am being selfish I know.

But I would gladly shout out to the world how selfish I am,

if it means you will sing to me forever.

I need your voice ringing through my bones,

until the universe disappears in the folds of nothingness.

© Moonyloonywitch

29/07/2021

10:57 am

Where do I bury the fragments of my heart that reminds me of you?

Beneath the stars, under the old and forgotten tree?

Or I could pick out a grave in the abandoned playground.

In the moonlight, with my bare hands I shall dig a grave in the soft earth.

There I'll put the bits and pieces of your traces in my life.

And I shall finally plant a pretty flower on its top.

In the silence of the night, my lips will find its way back to our favourite song.

Like a lullaby or a last goodbye,

I shall sing in soft tones till I can no more.

Hold me close and sing softly about starry nights and fairy lights.

I feel really ill and all I want to do is fall asleep in your arms

It seems like my heart only understands what you speak, even if you speak with an absence of words.

~

m.l.w

Memories of a thousand moments,

All dance in the late afternoon sunlight.

Like the final touch to the awaited painting,

They shimmer beneath my eyes.

In that moment it feels like time never passed,

Like there's a forever in between my lips and the teacup.

But like an ever flowing river,

the memories come and go,

one by one.

A sad reminder that time never promises.

And all that you feel will last a lifetime,

will be gone in the blink of an eye.

And now I sit on the floor,

surrounded by the rare November warmth.

But I miss yours.

I miss your hand and the soft touches it leaves behind.

And all I now have are the ghosts of your palm,

and the coldness of the paintings that they left behind.

An ache deeper than any ocean runs through me,

and it sadly whispers promises of a forever.

I know they won't be broken this time.

Because I've always known that you were the one.

Please let him go.

You were not meant to be this way.

You should be glowing, flowing through stars and space.

Not sitting tired in a corner, away from everything.

Away from life.

You have years ahead .

Millennias to conquer.

He is but a fleeting dream.

A flash in the evening sky.

Gone as fast as he came,

Never too close to feel the warmth.

So please let him go.

There's no way he'll come back.

Or think of you.

Or wish you'd wait.

He's gone on.

And now you should do the same.

Let him go.

For far more adventures await you.

And I promise your broken heart will feel less broken,

day by day.

Let him go.

Let him go.

Just let go.