It Doesn't Matter If I Try Or Not.

Don't we all need someone beside us?

As we go through our darkest days,

facing our deepest fears?

When the battle is finally over,

we turn to see the smile on their face.

Because at the end of the day,

our souls need a home too.

And what better place could it be,

than the heart of a loved one.

I hope you'll be there for me,

when I return from these chaos.

No matter how cruel the world gets,

I can heal when our eyes meet again.

Alchemists can quit their jobs now.

I have found the elixir of life.

© Moonyloonywitch

02/08/2021

Fragile is the way you walk along the beach,

looking out at the setting sun.

Fragile is how your voice sound,

when you hum the songs of your dreams.

Fragile is how your eyes look,

when you see a star and wish upon it.

Fragile is you,

sometimes in the morning,

always at night.

But everytime you smile,

fragile becomes my heart.

Everytime you cry,

fragile are my bones.

Fragile has long since stopped being a word to me.

Now it is the state of my being when I am in your arms.

All of this pain feels like it's been an eternity since I have been carrying them in my hands. I am tired now and can't walk anymore. Where do I bury the fragments of my heart?

I am glad that I met you.

Or else I would've never met myself.

And I am glad that you left me.

So now I know that being by myself is not so bad.

Sure, I was broken into tiny pieces when you stopped holding hands.

Sure, I did cry myself to sleep whenever I thought of your cold eyes.

I bared my soul and you gripped it a little too tight.

Now I lay broken, and like the blood in my veins, I flow through your cold fingers.

Drip by drip I fall onto the floor, a puddle of dreams and uncherished love.

But somewhere along the way, the red started to turn black.

And somewhere along the way, my tears started to form stars.

The tired sighs that fell from my lips have turned to swirls of white and gold.

The day you broke me, I fell.

I fell a human, and landed a galaxy.

I can still feel the pain of your touches.

But on those days, I burn a little more brighter.

I may have been broken once, but I gathered the pieces and here I stand.

A galaxy amidst the vast, cold emptiness that's you.

A galaxy that you can never touch without burning yourself too.

When you spread your wings and fly away from the home you've always known, rarely do you realize the depth of the fact that it would not be so easy to return.

I miss everything about my home. Now that I've left, all I want is to go back.

Crawl into my bed and fall asleep to the sounds of the sea.

The sea and its crashing waves, a lullaby that has sneaked into my life without me even realizing.

I cannot sleep in the silence of this new city.

I miss the waves.

And the comfort knowing that the sea is awake and keeping me company.

You watch the light leave their eyes. You watch their heart crumble into crimson colored dust. But that's all that you can do. Watch from afar while another bleeds for your warmth.

And then you realise how very cruel fate can be sometimes.

Because there is nothing you wouldn't do to hold them in your hands, there's nothing you'd want more than wiping their tears away. And you'd take away their pain in a heartbeat and replace it with all things beautiful in your life. If only you could.

Sometimes you can love someone so much but not in a way that matters to them. And not in a way that makes sense to you. But still there's love and pain and longing. But it's all wrong and right at the same time.

Sometimes it's painful to love someone. And sometimes it's painful to be loved. And you don't really have a choice with either of them.

So you watch them leave, with a broken heart, and you're left there with an ache in you that'll never really go away.

And in the silence of the night you whisper to no one in particular.

"In another lifetime perhaps...."

The drive is good.

Refreshing, calming.

A little bit silly too.

But I love it, I adore it.

Still, I wish you'd been there.

Holding my hand,

Your goofy laughter filling up the car.

I miss your jokes.

And your happy little giggles.

When I pass the beach at sunset,

I can feel the warmth of your smile on my skin.

A comforting touch of light and life,

a reassurance that you haven't left.

And while I close my eyes and bask in your love,

I know that you miss me too.

I can feel your heartbeat in every ray that falls on my outstretched palm.

I feel it in the way the sun seems a little too close sometimes.

Like I can almost touch it.

Like it's a kiss.

While the warmth of the sunset holds your love for me,

my sunburnt heart loves you with all the colors of a sunrise.

Let us remain like this forever.

Our love,

hidden in the rising and setting

of the brightest star in the sky.

Everytime you smile it feels like I am bathing in the warmth of the afternoon sun, slowly disintegrating into the golden swirls that pour from your brown eyes. How often have I melted at your fingertips so that you may scoop me up and paint such beautiful sunsets that tell the stories I have kept locked away. I don't know which is more beautiful, to become a breath taking painting or to be the favourite colour of the painter.

All I ever did was either chase someone or run away from another, when the only thing I really wanted was to stay somewhere, to let my roots grow in someone's heart and be their anchor in return.

—Lilllium, from In Place Of The Mirror is a Portrait of You

Phantom Limb

deep

in the

forest

of dreams

I come upon

your

resting place

a headstone

in the center

of a clearing

where all

my thoughts

of you

are buried

reverently

I touch it

to remind

myself

what

I have lost