My Grandma Fixed My Bag And Added A Pocket :)

Here’s a post by my best friend about what’s going on and if you want to help, report @darling for harrasment.

okay my side of the story

under the cut because i know most of you are sick of this (very understandably)

Darling messaged me a week or two ago and asked to help out in the community

after adding them as a mod they reiterated that they wanted to help as an admin so that they could edit guidelines. i was unsure about this but gave them my trust because they have experience modding.

i made a draft of a new pinned post and new rules in the autism mod community so that our mods could give their input. i was waiting for the original poll in the main community to be over before i posted it. in the mean time a they made their own draft of a pinned post. i liked some aspects of theirs but as the creator of the community assumed i would make the final say and pin the post. i made a new version of mine with some aspects of theirs (so that they would know their opinion was being listened to) and posted it in the mod community. they said they liked it.

the poll in the main community was over so i posted it. they got very mad at me for posting it and called me a tyrant. we started beefing in the autism mod community. i retaliated because from my perspective they were getting mad at me and attacking me for nothing. i didnt originally understand what they were upset about. after talking today it turns out the whole thing they were mad about was me “stealing” the post. i apologized and reiterated that i thought we had agreed to post it

i asked the mod community what they thought of all this and Darling banned every mod that disagreed with them

i then started to get rather upset because i felt they were power tripping and being uncooperative.

they banned my partner for sharing his opinion. and albeit i started to take it a little too personally

i made a poll asking the mods if they wanted darling to keep doing what they were doing. they deleted it and made their own. it’s at this point i removed the new mod because i didn’t want new mods brought into the middle of this

Darling and i talked it out in dms and came to a tentative stalemate after i heard their side of the story and i calmed down

then comes this after noon

Darling made a post asking people to consider blazing their post about their charity community

i acknowledged that it was a good community but that it went against guideline number 7

they proceeded to say that no one cares about the guidlines and that they don’t have to follow them

i disagreed

they got mad at me for suggesting that they’re post was against the guidelines

i, being very tired of this asked them to step down.

this didn’t go well and they started being hostile and threatening the community

as we are both admins i have no power to remove them to the community

i took the the Autism page because i thought if anyone could do anything it would be the wider community seeing what’s happened and making their own opinions. Darling has deleted every post i’ve made on the situation and banned every member who has spoken out in support of me

we have both reported the other for harassment. i suppose now we wait and see what happens

My family is talking about puking like it’s a joke and I feel like I’m going to cry

There is no reason to joke about “spewing pasta salad.”

I think my mom doesn’t think i still have “that random fear”

I actually hate it. I am constantly plagued by my fucking anxiety and adding a fear of puking when I work in a public space and go to school

So, I know I don’t feel sexual attraction or romantic attraction. But I get this weird feeling sometimes. I thought it was gender envy because I only felt it towards guys but then I felt it toward Dixie who want a guy the other day.

It’s like I feel like I want to complement the person but I don’t because I don’t want them to think I want to fuck them.

It’s definitely not aesthetic attraction because I know what that feels like.

But like, can I think someone is attractive “romantically” but not have romantic feelings.

My allo friends always talks about thinking people are pretty or cute or good looking but then when I ask they say they aren’t into them in any way.

So is this just like extrem aesthetic attraction or is it something else?

School sucks

It’s Tuesday and so far this week:

Someone had to leave class to puke in my block one class yesterday so of course I had a panic attack (#emetophobia)

I worked myself to death so I could finish mh project for social studies just for him to extende the due date because of 1 group

Math is killing me. I just do not understand one concept and I haven’t had a chance to ask my teacher yet but of course my brain is telling me I’m stupid and should be in the lowest level of math

Physics kind of makes sense but I can’t stand it because that’s different then it should be because I’m bad at physics so I don’t like that it’s different

My plan changed yesterday because I thought I had therapy yesterday but it’s today so I had to change my whole plan for the week

I was late to math yesterday and I didn’t mean to

The hallways are loud and I can’t stand it but I keep forgetting my headphones in my locker

The cafeteria smells like food. It is bad

My mom keeps yelling at me for taking a nap after school. I try not to but if I don’t I can’t do homework

I feel like I’m in a constant state of almost shutting down

⬆️Same thing with not being able to talk

There’s only a week left till a HUGE change which is causing me to only think about that change and not my schoolwork

I have a change in my schedule today as well which I dreading

My mom hasn’t bought the snacks I like so I’m grasping for straws for my lunch

I still don’t know how to regulate myself at school or in general and it’s causing me to freak out

My bus driver plays really loud music

I JUST BOUGHF MY FIRST PAIR OF NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES. OMG THEY ARE AMAZING.

I got the same ones as bestie and they are amazing

Oh 40 minute walks I love you so ♥️♥️♥️

I am so tired of being jealous of my friends. I shouldn’t be. I’m happy they are getting the help that they need but what can’t it be me? Why won’t my mom believe me! Why won’t she book me an appointment to figure out my joints instead of just saying it my diet? Why won’t she book an appointment to figure out what’s going on with how tired I feel all the time but can’t ever sleep instead of just saying it depression? Why can’t she accommodate my needs? Why won’t she buy me the supports I need? Why won’t she buy me my comfort food? Why won’t she support my accommodations? Why won’t she care about me?

All my friends have loving parents. One of my friends mom takes them to all the appointments that they need to get the help they need. But my mom won’t even make an effort to call an online therapist so I don’t have to struggle with no support and my old therapist was not working for me. My friends mom will support how they need to live to have a good life and my mom won’t even let me eat the food I like and know I like without getting on my ass. My friends mom takes care of them and mine doesn’t and it feels horrible.

And that’s just the stuff with my physical health and neurodivergency. She also ignores my anxiety unless she uses it to justify something else. It hurts so bad to see your best friend have a wonderful mother who supports them and helps them get the supports they need and the best my mom will do is get me on testosterone then saying that if I have an attitude she’ll take me off it.

She does that with so many things. If I have an attitude or get mad or have normal human emotions she threatens to take away my restorative or take away my ability to see my friend.

She once booked an appointment with my doctor just for the doctor to say “yeah, that’s normal human emotions”. But when I tell her that I am struggling to be a human in a productive way because I think I have autism after hours and hours of reaserch she says that the waiting list is too long. It stead of making that call when I’m still a minor she is making me do it once I am an adult. I have to do it for myself with no support from my mom.

And I live my dad but he also doesn’t stand up for me. How am I supposed to get through this shit with parents who blame my constant pain on diet and won’t book appointments I need.

I’m so tired of being put in a bad mood when my best friend talks about their mental health and neurodivergency. It’s not FUCKING fair!

Queer culture to the Max

Is there anyone on this god forsaken app that is good at reading writing. I wrote myself a memo on my arm and I can’t read it…

I’ve realised, through watching the earlier season of tua again, I do not like tua s4. I just like that it’s more content. I do like some parts of it though.

I love germaphobe klause

Love goofy Luther

I love everything about Viktor

I love Jean and gene

But it’s a bad ending.