I Thought We Have Left That In The Past

I was tired of this unending race

So I paused to take a breath

The exhaustion,

The weighing down emotions

I took a minute to acknowledge it all.

But when I opened my eyes again

I was stranded in a land

Lost in time

Couldn't find a soul

Be it a friend or a foe.

The world can always find ways to disappoint you, even in the things you have no expectations in.

Those moments when...

I've learned to live alone

And loneliness doesn't get to me anymore,

Except in those moments....

When I wake up in the middle of the night

And find the space on my right

Empty and cold...

When I'm going to work

And on the way pass the abandoned factory

Where we used to sneak up as kids...

When I'm frustrated at the world

Or confused what to do

And my first thought is to call you....

When I'm laughing hysterically

And I suddenly stop the moment

Because you're not here to share it with me...

When people tell me their plans for the night

And I think about my home

And the silence waiting there to greet me....

When I'm lost in my thoughts

And subconsciously call out your name

And no one is there to answer me back.....

When I see a shooting star

And I wonder in silence

If you're still wishing on them

Or have you stopped believing in wishes?

*****

( Hindi alert)

Akele rehna sikh liya maine,

Ab to tanhai se bhi ek rishta sa ban gaya hai.

Shibaye un lamhon main....

Jab adhi raat ko aankh khul jati hai

Aur tumhare jagah suni bistar meelti hai

Jab baton hi baton main tumhari yaad aa jati hai

Aur tumhare na hona ka ehsas chubhne lagta hai

Jab anjane main ye lab tumhare naam le lete hain

Aur jabab main inhen sirf sannata hi milta hai

Jab koi sabal pareshan karta hai

Aur jabab main tumhara naam yaad ata hai

Jab mandir main kabhi dua mangne jati hun

Aur har dua main tumhara hi naam hota hai

Aur jab kabhi bhi asman main

Ek toota hua tara dikhta hai

Main sochti hu,

Dunia ki kisi kone main

Kahin tum bhi ise dekhkar

Mujhe yaad to nahi karte?

Kya tum mujhe yaad karte bhi ho?

If love is supposed to heal, how come yours made me numb?

Evil Place Called Mind

I stare into the void,

Lost in my head.

I scream from inside,

I beg for help.

It's an bottomless abyss,

An endless maze.

As the tendrils of evil thoughts,

Drags me down,

Deeper and deeper,

To some dark unknown place.

I look at the sky,

Grasping the hanging roots of sanity,

I pray to God,

For some semblance of reality.

But the sky still remains dark,

As it throws back my plea,

As if saying I'm not worthy enough,

For the life given to me.

I lose my grip on sanity,

Losing all hope,

As a firm tendril yanks me down,

Trapping me somewhere I can't get out of.

It's the evil place called my mind.

What's the point of it all?

Already lost

I don't know how I'm holding it together

The cluster of mismatched pieces

I don't know how I'm still standing

Though I am limping all the way

I know you feel those too

The anger, the frustration, the pain and all others

But why do you pass it my way?

Do you think I'm unbreakable?

I wish I was,

I wish I could take everything you give.

But I am a weak thing,

I have to battle every day just to survive

And,

Every time I have to face the reality of life

I lose it

Every time you take your anger out on me

I lose it

Every time I hear the screams of your suffering

I lose it

But you see

Even with all these factors telling me to give up

I always had a reason to fight

But now,

I can't remember it anymore.

Dark magnetic beady eyes

With one gaze, they cage your soul

Cunning smile and a youthful face

Beautiful like the silver moon

She'd look back haughtily

Unduly proud of her beauty

“The moon has scars.”

She'd say, “While I have none.”

I wonder what she thinks now that I've left her scarred with my love.

You should have told me

Before me you made me smile

Before you showed me the stars

Before you lit that candle in my heart

Before you made me want you

You should have told me

That love comes with a price tag!

Yun to banjar si thi...

Yun to banjar si thi

Meri dil ki zameen

Ye ehsas kya hai

Woh janta hi nahin

Yun jo aye ho tum

Banke halki si varish

Sochti hun khuda ki

Koi sajish to nahin

Ruthi hui khwabon ke

Is khali si asman main

Ek akela sitara hai tu

Jo aaj jake chamka hai

Ab iss roshni se teri

Vakif jo hua main

Darta hai ye dil, vapas

Jane se virano main

Ab itna to bata de, khuda

Yeh mohabbat hai

Ya nazar ka dhoka

Ya leher hai ek gunj ki

Jo hai ek pal ka mehaman

Sajake yeh tanha ashiyan

Phir lout jaega apna jahaan

You are right my lady

I'm no one's judge or jury

I lack a heart to know your beauty

Nor am I a commander of truth

What do I say; what do I do?

When I'm just your eyes

Reflected back at you.

Mirror, mirror on the wall;

Save your breath, save your words;

What makes you my judge and jury;

You see an image, not my beauty.

Whoever says mirrors don't lie,

When your very reflection is inverted.