Quirked Up Green Boy With A Little Bit Of Swag Busting It Down Stick Style. Is He Goated With The Swamp

Customer: I’M A PROFESSIONAL FISHERMAN AND I FISH FOR TUNA ALL OVER THE WORLD DMV: I GOOGLED HIM, HE IS AND HE DOES Verdict: DENIED

I am so sorry, but someone did and it's called Homestuck.

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.” 

“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”

___

…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.

“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”

___

…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.

“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.

“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”

“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”

___

…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”

“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”

“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”

“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.

The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.

___

A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.

They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.

___

…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.

The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”

The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”

But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.

“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.

“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”

“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.” 

___

…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”

___

“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”

“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”

___

…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”

___

…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”

___

…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”

___

“I love you,” said the scorpion.

The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”

“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”

The frog swam on, the both of them silent.

___

“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”

“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”

“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.” 

“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?” 

“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”

“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”

“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

___

“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”  

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.

The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”

“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

My tired, d&d poisoned brain read this as Biden's staff of holding.

Biden’s staff holding a vigil when what they need to do is jump his ancient ass

This is about Sci-Hub. yeah we get it.. gatekeep knowledge and protect the interests of capital…

I'm a bit new to tumblr, so I didn't expect to be tagged in something like this, but I'll try my best to participate in this strange thing called human interaction.

Currently reading: a lot of toh fanfiction, but also fanfiction from a less reputable fandom, whose foul name I shall not invoke here. Some notable fics are: A Potter's Field, Corpse-stink and Retribution, the fic that tought me to always carefully read the tags, because holy shit that one is gruesome.

Fovourite colour: kind of hard to say. It used to be green, but then I realized half of my clothes were dark blue, so that would also be a truthful answer. Also all of the bisexual colours.

Last song: I/Me/Myself by Will Wood.

Last movie: I honestly don't remember the last time I saw a movie.

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet.

Currently working on: wish I could say I was working on any of my writing projects, but not only is my computer broken, but I was also not very creatively productive before that. Instead I focusing on adapting to my new part-time job.

Tags: going to have to leave this blank. The thought of interacting further with people right now is too stressful.

Tag 9 People You Want to get to Know Better

(^・ω・^ ) Thank you for tag me 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

@avomorg @bumblebeeenby

Currently reading:

Well, according to fics, only on AO3 26 pages of subscriptions… ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

But I can mention from AO3 “Fractures”

From Ficbook (!rus), I can only note “Truth is a cave” by chiwich

Oh, if I’m rereading book with infernal detectives (1991) (!rus), which fell into my hands back in 2012-13

ALT

I don’t really remember the events where I got it from. I just remember that I picked it up on street, for some reason a “garbage bin” pops up in my head, but it definitely doesn’t seem to be from it, right (⓿_⓿)???

Favorite color:

if roughly specified, they will be dark green, silver, ~terracotta, and purple

Its hard for me to describe in words, so I’ll attach ~approximate pic for colors

i like all colors

except for bright red shades, especially when there is a lot of it or if it is an accent color….. like

that’s why I usually not use bright red in the arts, even when draw Kai – I dim red a bit

oh what is there? ah eah

Last song

well I’m hooked now on (╯▽╰ )

“Dear Wormwood” – this is pretty related to the end arc for one of my OC now ahah

“You’re the Only Thing in Your Way” – this one for one of those AUs “that I probably donno how write”

“Lemon Demon - Modify” – its just fun music + funny animation 🔪🔪🔪

Last movie:

Does the Lego Ninjago Movie count? when I watched it for screenshots? I just don’t remember the last time I sat down and watched it just for the sake of a movie.

“Ирония судьбы, или С лёгким паром!” in new year i don’t count

Sweet/spicy/savory:

I really like sweet, milk chocolate, jelly and various caramels. I also really like sweet and sour things, especially if they cause a reaction like in cartoons, but in reality. But there are few of them, so lemons and kiwis will help me (○｀ 3′○)

I love spicy, of course, jalapeno, chili, and other spicy peppers

not against wasabi and horseradish (although for me they mostly differ in the burn duration and resting speed)

savory doesn’t evoke special feelings, like okay, not insipid and okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Currently working on:

A small animation like “into the game”. I have the first part sketch-animatic, but it seems to me that with the second part I put too much information for timing

some pictures for 14 february

and a small picture with butterfly 🍋

(ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ) wow how many txt

Tagging:

!!! (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ @sunnylighter @sebilini @quiznak-ofgrayskull @howuart @peachyninjago @pixanefan @emisnt2 @tokaywineandcheese @kdragon107

✨✨✨

sorry if you had something like that, I have a worse memory than a goldfish, and the attentiveness like stone ༼ ◕_◕ ༽

Do not stop the dog, they are taking care of pests! If you let the gnomes live they will only spread and will slowly eat all the worms and snails in your yard. Their numbers will not stop growing and they will not leave any threats to their safety unanswered. What you need to do now is help your dog take out the rest of them, before the situation gets out of control or your dog gets hurt.

Take a shovel or other heavy/sharp gardening implement snd start whacking those little demons as soon as possible. Remember to aim for the hat, that's where most of their vital organs are located. If you cut off their head they will survive and their body will regrow within the next 12 hours and they will come for you. They are, at first glance, quite easy to keep at bay, but be mindful that they don't sneak up behind you. They have sharp teeth and will not hesitate to bite your ankles.

Stay safe and don't fall for their tricks.

Help! My dog keeps hunting these little animals in my yard. I don't know if this is an endangered species. Anyone has tips on how to stop dogs from doing this?

This was about Star Wars btw.

Quirked up green boy with a little bit of swag busting it down stick style. Is he goated with the swamp sauce

?

Witch of Frog Embryology

It can't keep getting away with this!!!

treachery of the sneering ghoul