At This Point I Would Like To Thank All The People Out There Who Write Fanfiction. I Love Reading Stories

I know that we've gotten 500 unnecessary Twilight retellings but what I really want is a retelling of Mockingjay where instead of Katniss getting rescued at the end of CF, it's Peeta, and he spends at least half the book gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing his way through this entire situation, completely derails Coin's attempts to use him as a political mouthpiece by weaponizing her own manipulation against her, and in general being an insufferable nuisance who is just so good at charming everybody into siding with him that Coin gives up and agrees to rescue Katniss

immediately, percy walking into crusty’s water bed palace saying “i know who you are. you’re procrustes. son of poseidon, murderer of travelers” and “i know the beds are a trap” and “i know there’s a secret entrance to the underworld here” and i know this and i know that is making me want to rip rickald to shreds and gnaw on his bones. so they know about medusa before they enter her lair. so they know about the lotus casino before they go inside. so they know everything about everything and there’s no real element of discovery and revelation because he’s somehow armed with allll this knowledge he’s not supposed to have, drastically reducing the stakes and excitement of one of the most naturally exciting plot lines ever, completely slamming a wrecking ball into the fact that he’s a 12 year old on his first quest who has to learn that everything is a trap and reality is never what it seems. so now instead of the three of them running unknowingly into procrustes’s creepy business as they’re trying to escape a gang of LA street bullies (bc surprise surprise the real world is where the monsters also are), he just fucking walks in and knows everything with a plan already hatched, courtesy of annabeth. how are you going to make me hate the episode five seconds in?

it has always been so cute to me that even tho a war has just happened half of camp is destroyed or dead that the campers still thought it would be fun to bully percabeth

like did we ever learn why all of camp was just there when annabeth and percy kissed ??

like did annabeth recrute ppl to help ??

like maybe annabeth got malcom to help with the cupcake and he started the wildfire that was “annabeth and percy are sitting really close ALONE together for his birthday” so everyone went to eavesdrop or smth

or actually tyson definitely did that by accident now that i’m thinking abt it like he just told ppl who asked and everyone was like “thanks for letting me know >:)”

i always kinda thought maybe clarisse knew it was percy’s birthday and was planning on being a menace but when they pulled up annabeth was already there then the kiss happened and everyone was like “holy SHITTTTT”

like maybe the plan was to dunk percy in the water but they couldn’t find annabeth so they showed up late just to witness the kiss some kids probably cried a little but clarisse was like “sick now i can dunk BOTH of them” so that’s what they did

to me i always loved that clarisse was the one to be the head of that bc throwing them into the water to celebrate wasn’t for her - personally i don’t think clarisse could give two real shits abt percabeth actually dating or not (not that she doesn’t think they should- it’s just not her buisness) but yk who did ?? selina

there were probably long talks where all selina talked abt was the percabeth tea

“i have insanely hot gossip right now. >:)”

“ooo really?? >:)”

“yeah and it involves your two favorite people >:3”

“oh…really…… :|”

i like to think that was for her and i love that

percy: i just don't get how everyone knew annabeth and i were in love before we did

grover: your attack patterns were synchronized by the age of 13

“ B*tch, this is France. ”

Grover being all sweet innocent cinnamon roll reasurring Percy and Annabeth that he'll be okay staying behind with Ares like he isn't planning 5D chess psychological warfare on the god of war be like

Ada Limón, “Love Poem with Apologies for My Appearance”

Ares saying he hates his own kids and the worst day of the year is when they visit him makes my heart break for Clarisse more. Clarisse fights so hard for scraps of her father’s attention and Ares sees her as just another nuisance. He doesn’t care about her unless she’s able to serve him. But Clarisse (like Annabeth) thinks she just has to work harder for him to love her. In her mind, it’s all her fault. Which is why she is so angry when little punk Percy strolls in at twelve years old, no training and unclaimed, and immediately defeats the minotaur. In three days hes already got the gods attention and his father claimed him. Of course she’s angry.

rip to percy stacking the drachmas that was so cunty of him

on a serious note i'm surprised they didn't include any mention of hades not paying charon enough or playing with cerberus enough considering how much they're honing in on the "gods suck" angle. like damn the book already gave that to you

guys we’re gonna have new content we can make GIFSETS we get to hear “look I didn’t want to be a half-blood” brb im crying