DC X DP

Technically true.

Okay so here is me explaining to my boyfriend about when I was younger and the weird things I did when I first started watching the twilight movies. The first twilight movie came out in 2008 and I was 7 turning 8 at the time and so on and so forth so enjoy 😭😂

Finally have all 4 life stages let's gooo

*Breakfast table*

Tim, drinking his coffee: To be honest, I’m quite impressed, Jason. How did you manage to get Dick to rest? He has been onto this case for months now, and getting more and more grumpy.

Jason: Easy, I drugged him.

Tim: You drugged him?!

Jason: Yeh, I went down the cave with a cup of cocoa and be like “hey Dickie how’s work I made you cocoa” he thanked me without even looking at me, so I said “I want to watch you drink it.” Thankfully he’s still semi-sociable in hyperfocus mode, so he looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and downed it.

Tim: Well, I guess that’s efficient. *sips his coffee*

Jason: I’m Alfred’s honorary apprentice after all.

Jason: By the way, Timbo. How long have you been awake?

Tim, chuckles: 45 hours? Close to 50? I’m not entirely sure. What's the date today? Anyway I’m just here to grab the coffee, now Dick’s resting, I’m gonna finish-

Jason: Don’t worry, I’m drugging you too.

Tim: You’re dru- *passes out*

Alfred, enters the kitchen: *high-fives Jason*

   In relation to dragons, especially those posts about their monocular vision, I’d like to pitch a fantasy concept here-  

  The usual view of dragon riders is that the riders get a lot out of it and dragons, eh, dragons get something. Something intangible and ill defined and usually not a good enough reason to really justify it.

  But what about dragons that bond with humans because humans offer a massive tactical advantage.

   Okay, say you’re some scrawny fucking dragon. And like, you’re not doing bad for yourself- 40 feet of well armored fire breathing death does pretty decently by definition- but in the pecking order of dragons, you’re pretty low. You get your ass kicked if you try to challenge any big players.

  And then one day you come upon this human- this weird fucker out in the middle of the woods yelling nonsense and you’re fine to move along but all of a sudden there’s a huge pull on the natural energy around you and you get whacked with this surge of light-

  And you’ve mind melded with the fucker.

 You’re both trying to figure out what’s going on, and all of a sudden, of course, rolls in a bigger dragon who’s going to beat the shit out of you for being in their territory.

  So you’re trying to fly away, this human is clinging to you like their life depends on it, this bigger dragon is trying to kill you. It’s a bad day. But the human scrambles up on top of you and you realize, hey, for some reason you can see out of their eyes. You’ve got near 360 degree monocular vision (which you’re used to) but now like 100 degrees of super sharp depth perception on top of that. Which is actually letting you dodge a lot better. And you’re thinking faster- you can hear- feel?- the humans thoughts, and they’re pretty fast and smart thinkers too.

   So you’re actually, now, suddenly turning the tables on this fight. The other dragon is bigger but now that’s working against them because your increased vision and reaction time lend themselves to speed. And then there’s this huge fucking pull on your energy, like massive- and a fucking lightning bolt shoots out and whacks the other dragon out of the sky. Like, oh, dragon-jesus, that’s what humans can do with magic?

   So all of a sudden, you have this tiny squishy meatbag that’s transformed you from bottom of the pecking order to Top Dragon In Town because you have better vision and reflexes and you can use them as a locus for precise magical spells by mind melding with this tiny punk.

   So of course you sit down and figure out how the fuck you melded in the first place and do it again. And dragon society is transformed, because now it favors the most social dragons, the ones able to mind-meld with humans the best. Because those ones get massive tactical advantages. So having human riders makes actual fucking sense. It’s basically a matter of survival.   

Fantasy stories should have more “what do you mean you don’t do X” things in compare and contrast of cultures. Like the differences between peoples aren’t the stuff they show off as “These Are Our Culture :)” things, fucking everyone has food and music and folk tales, but the things they’ve always assumed that everyone has, and are baffled to discover that they don’t.

The people who are always barefoot are baffled that humans don’t have a wash basin at their front door where people can wash their feet before stepping inside?? Do they just walk in with their dirty feet? The fuck do you mean you take your shoes off?

Humans don’t have small baby-sized spellbooks for toddlers who just learned to read, so they can safely learn to practice tiny cute and harmless, age-appropriate magic spells before progressing to more mature and demanding spells? What, do they just throw teenagers completely unprepared into the arcane - hold the fuck up, is that why human sorceror mortality is so fucking high?

Dwarves who have always wondered why the entrance to human residences is so fucking big, why do you need to take up such a large area for a door that’s just there to lead downstairs to the underground halls? Are the timber walls really as thick as a human is tall? What for? And once one of them gets invited to a human house to stay and rest, nobody ever fucking believes her: That’s not the entrance, that’s the whole fucking house. 100% of the human house is aboveground, there is no tunnel to the underground levels. They might have a single storage room down there, but the aboveground section is so fucking big because that’s the whole house.

This post was brought to you by: People who butter their bread and who had no idea that there are people who put mayonnaise on their bread, and people who put mayo on their bread and had no idea about people who put butter on their bread discovering that the other kind of people exist.

Shazam concept: the justice league figures out that the entire Shazamily is shapeshifting children but they put two and two together to get thirty and come to the conclusion that Billy is their adoptive father

Short DPXDC Prompts #339

Arkham breakout. Batfamily zooms over to see multiple knocked out patients and a tall redhead woman with a teal hair and going 1v1 against Bane and winning. (Jason’s jaw just instantly drops)