I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable

I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable
I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable
I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable
I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable
I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable
I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable
I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable
I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable
I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable
I Am Devastated By Myself And I Am Devastated By The World And I Want To Sink Back Into My Comfortable

I am devastated by myself and I am devastated by the world and I want to sink back into my comfortable depression. I’m going to stop taking my mood stabilizers and my antipsychotics to numb myself to the pain of experiencing life

More Posts from Eukarisparadise and Others

1 year ago

I like this take, but I always thought that instead of Torries, Ventrue are the best match for Nosferatu for some reason

The VTM subreddit had some discussion of Nosferatu/Toreador romance the other day but the peak inter-clan pairing for me will always be Salubri/Tzimisce.

It’s the rich contrast between “I was created to be a healer. My touch erases pain and casts out evil. I can’t even feed if it would cause suffering, even if I am on the edge of starvation. My clan’s progenitor described his childer as lambs made to be sacrificed,” versus “Other clans know me by a word that means ‘demon.’ My hands are tools of torture and mutilation and even acts that are attempts at reconstruction rather than ripping apart are agonizing. My blood ties me to the land and the land is poison. The power that is my greatest strength is also a disease that is eating me from the inside out.“

It’s “Your abilities indelibly mark you as an enlightened savior while mine mark me as a horrifying monster.” It’s “I worship you because you’re everything I could never be.” It’s “I was doomed from the start but maybe if I take on the burden of violence so you can stay pure, I can find some kind of redemption.” It’s “I adore you but I’m terrified to touch you.” It’s “We couldn’t be more different, but we are both united in the horror of knowing we have no choice but to be exactly what we are.”

7 months ago

I literally only now learned that Hasbro confirmed rooting for MegaStar for a year now 💀⚰️💥 Jesus Christ, never been a MegOp fan, but now I think I will be just to spite them (I understand why megastar makes sense for a lot of people but damn they're so unnecessary abusive)

I Literally Only Now Learned That Hasbro Confirmed Rooting For MegaStar For A Year Now 💀⚰️💥

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1 year ago

(bad English and long text)

I understand that I'm probably far from the first person to say this, but one of the few things that genuinely touched me in MP100 was the moment in the "Claw" organization at the end of season 1, where Reigen told Mob to run away. I understand that he was most likely just broadcasting his self-preservation style – "flight" – but personally, I saw something different in it and my heart still aches with joy here. Reigen told him "you don’t need to take this all on yourself, let the adults handle everything."

As the oldest sister myself, I understand what it’s like when parents leave their other children to you, giving birth to them with the default thought that you have already grown up as a helper, while you, for example, are 11 years old. Mob's situation is different – there is only a year difference between him and Ritsu, but judging by the way Ritsu reaches out to him, takes his example not only as an esper, constantly emphasizes that Shigeo is his older brother (I can't speak for everyone, but I still don’t really perceive my older cousins, who are ~4 years older than me, as an elders, but as peers), and also from the apparent complete absence of parents in the boys' lives, I can assume that all his life Shigeo has been left to his own devices at best, and with Ritsu in his care at worst.

I don’t think that their parents are completely indifferent to them – they attended their school race after all – and I haven't read the manga, so I can't judge with certainty, however they have catastrophically few appearances in the anime, besides the standard dinner scenes together (my friends even joked while watching that "these NPCs at the table have one script about spoons"💀 lol).

Mob's whole story is about how he gradually develops his personality, learning to express emotions. But I don't believe he suppressed them solely out of fear of harming someone with his magical outbursts.

I know how children mature beyond their years behave, because I was one. Mob always acted like he was too burdened for his age, having restraint uncommon for kids. He himself disliked this fact, and it was a hard-fought battle to loosen the internal grip. All because this is the consequence of too much of a burden that good-natured but absent parents could've placed on him (I mean, come on, your child – the most powerful esper in the universe – disappears for days and sometimes nights, occasionally even with his brother, and not only do you not know this, but you also keep repeating your spoon script?).

This is where Reigen comes in. Little Mob needed guidance, advice from at least someone who could understand what to do with his gift and his life – and Reigen, not yet knowing about his abilities, gave him this advice, which he listened to with his mouth open. It was clear from that scene how much Shigeo needed support and guidance, and frankly, a parental figure. Real parents, as I wrote above, don't seem to care at all that their son easily comes home late at night or even in the morning, nor did they show any interest in his studies or hobbies. Maybe I'm wrong, please correct me on that, but it's really so little of them in the series.

Reigen, be he thrice a manipulator and swindle, saw a child with a truly divine gift, and his first instinct was "I can make something out of this." Mostly money. But as it turned out later – a good person too.

And Reigen's parenting abilities can be judged by the fact that Mob not only turned out to be a good person himself but also was able to guide others by his example – for instance, Teruki.

Even if we take into account the fact that Reigen never failed to use Mob’s abilities, relying too much on him, he still took care of him: he always treated him to food, never smoked around him, came to pick him when he had problems, stood up for him (in the episode where Mob was almost scammed in the vase incident by con artists, who did he call first? Not his parents, no. Reigen).

And finally that scene in the "Claw". Reigen told Mob to run away because the problem he was getting himself into was an adult problem, as he himself said. He literally said that Mob shouldn't act against his own morals, because he is still a child, he hasn't grown up to make such decisions (and it was clear how difficult it was for Mob to decide to harm someone from those espers, because it went against everything, what Reigen taught him). That's why he freed Shigeo from this responsibility: run away, leave it to me, kid, I'm an adult and you shouldn't risk anything and challenge anything in your heart.

Reigen may be a scammer, but he could put a lot of parents to shame. Including mine (in our translation he even literally said in that episode that he is Mob's "acting guardian", my gooood 😭😭😭). I wish having someone like him growing up, someone who can willingly take responsibility when it's necessary.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.


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8 months ago

i cannot explain it but these all have the same vibes

I Cannot Explain It But These All Have The Same Vibes
I Cannot Explain It But These All Have The Same Vibes
I Cannot Explain It But These All Have The Same Vibes
I Cannot Explain It But These All Have The Same Vibes
I Cannot Explain It But These All Have The Same Vibes
I Cannot Explain It But These All Have The Same Vibes
I Cannot Explain It But These All Have The Same Vibes
I Cannot Explain It But These All Have The Same Vibes
I Cannot Explain It But These All Have The Same Vibes
9 months ago

I feel so seen

In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive
In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive
In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive
In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive
In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive
In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive
In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive
In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive
In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive
In Case You Wake Up One Night And Decide To Chose Violence! Have Some Blinkies For All Of Your Passive

In case you wake up one night and decide to chose violence! Have some blinkies for all of your passive aggressive vampire political needs.

3 months ago
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye
The Olympics But High Fashion By Wisdom Kaye

The Olympics but high fashion by Wisdom Kaye

7 months ago

I remember once saying that Mystic Flour cookie is eerily creepy: that she has this mysterious (pun intended) vibe around her that makes me shiver a little bit (plus her colourless design in contrast with her mostly red-brown lobby that makes her almost ghost-like)

Now, with the Burning Spice update, that can't be applied to him: he's literally scary

I'm not even saying anything about his design, but just the aura he possesses: he'd literally meant to be a Great Destroyer, which is something that you can almost viscerally feel by listening to his theme and just by his voice. That's someone you're supposed to be fearing, because he could and will hurt you. Adding to that our expectations: devsis already dropped the map of Beast-Yeast with the Faerie Kingdom update, and that made me wondering back then: who is this Great Destroyer, the literal God of Destruction. What were they like? How will they be introduced?

And I've got exactly what I was hoping for. No more Mystic Flour's subtlety, just pure terror. Now that's some incredible character- and worldbuilding


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1 year ago

It honestly always baffled me why VTMB just INSISTS the player to be an edgelord, sometimes to the point of cringe (even with taking in account having a Beast inside you), but even when you're playing a high-humanity vampire you're almost forced to be unnecessary rude to people like Gary or Imalia right away, even if you don't want to, and then I realized something.

We're playing as a young person in their twenties in 2004. It's a millennial.


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eukarisparadise - I want it open!
I want it open!

анархи, шабаш а также minors dni 💅 21 y.o; 🇺🇦

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