Is That A Gun In Your Pants Or Is The Back Of Your Leg Naturally Rifle-shaped

Why the hell did I accidentally reblog myself

(324) Your name is Escapement. You picked it yourself, because when there's nobody else to assign significance to your existence, you might as well do it yourself.

You are a Decepticon vehicon.

You don't know much, but, contrary to what your commanding officer reckons, even vehicons do know some stuff. For instance, here's a list of vital information you knew this morning:

Life is not fair.

Extenuating circumstances, second chances and begging for your life are privileges for officers only. You're a grunt, so failure means death. The end.

Any mission to destroy Optimus Prime is a suicide mission from the start.

The Decepticon war machine doesn't pay you to ask questions or backtalk. (They don't pay you at all.)

And by midnight, you also know some totally new but equally vital information:

When Megatron assigns you a mission to kill Optimus Prime, you are absolutely, categorically, not actually meant to kill Optimus Prime.

But it's too late to be learning new information now, isn't it? Even your CO looks pitying when he tells you to report to Megatron for your reward...

When I was 12 I wrote and almost finished in one of my notebooks a vampire comedy novel about this girl I projected onto, who was a poor peasant from a village at the foot of the Carpathians, and she got so tired of her life that she decided to take advantage of the local legend about a vampire sleeping hundreds of years in the castle somewhere in the mountains (meaning, to rob it and become rich), but then she accidentally woke him up, and, in order to not be eaten, she somehow became his servant. The vampire was at first very confused why he was put asleep for so long in the first place, but then quickly remembered than he was pursuing his goal – to become a daylight vampire and that he almost succeeded, but was betrayed by his previous servant-lover, who put him into tomb, thinking he was dead. Now this girl had to figure out how to escape from the castle (while taking with her as much money and goods as she could), and the vampire had to continue his ambition, planning to use her in some kind of ritual, I don't remember. At the end I wanted them to kiss and decide that «fuck it, it's not that complicated» and start travelling the world – or, alternatively, they would all die in a horrific soul-wrenching tragedy, because 12 year old fanfic writers are dramatic.

That notebook I wrote this into was left at my mother's house and likely was completely destroyed or thrown away, but I still remember the plot... I think. I don't know if I should write and publish it online though.

Sauron, you will not deceive me. I have read the Silmarillion and I know that you were Morgoth's little princess and that you still love him.

‼️ BLOOD, DEATH/?/ ‼️

"Engulf oneself in silence"

Can you draw elder fairy? He's my favorite cookie

OLD MAN

This is literally canon

aight so Crk updated and I'm already getting some uh Gay Divorce™️ vibes from Shadow Milk and Elder Faerie

I can smell the divorce papers (wait this joke actually works on another level because of the whole paper storm thing-)

(Uh idk if this is a ship already if not and if there's a tag or not someone tell me if there is I literally just started playing this part and I don't wanna go get spoiled-)

Doomed Love.

CW: Minor blood and eye injury.

The faerie monarch sobbed softly, holding his lover close as he was tethering between life and death, as the corruption slowly overtook his cooling person once more.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry...! I'll- I'll fix this somehow! I'll save you! I'll save your friends I-"

He was cut off by a pained chuckle from the jester.

"Silly.. Monarch... You... You know...this would happen..."

Ahahahahah yes that's right The Beasts are a thing in this AU too. (Just in case yall missed out those crumbs of details in my refs post of DE and Matcha)

Keep in mind that there will be NOTHING like canon. But rest assured, I won't remove the fun stuff. Like Shadow Milk's theater show that looked like a divorce between him and Faerie, and Mystic Flour psychologically torturing Cacao.

Trust me :}

Also this drawing is like,,, months old

I remember once saying that Mystic Flour cookie is eerily creepy: that she has this mysterious (pun intended) vibe around her that makes me shiver a little bit (plus her colourless design in contrast with her mostly red-brown lobby that makes her almost ghost-like)

Now, with the Burning Spice update, that can't be applied to him: he's literally scary

I'm not even saying anything about his design, but just the aura he possesses: he'd literally meant to be a Great Destroyer, which is something that you can almost viscerally feel by listening to his theme and just by his voice. That's someone you're supposed to be fearing, because he could and will hurt you. Adding to that our expectations: devsis already dropped the map of Beast-Yeast with the Faerie Kingdom update, and that made me wondering back then: who is this Great Destroyer, the literal God of Destruction. What were they like? How will they be introduced?

And I've got exactly what I was hoping for. No more Mystic Flour's subtlety, just pure terror. Now that's some incredible character- and worldbuilding