My Friends Cringed So Bad At What I'm About To Say, And Idk If Anybody Said It Before, But Please, Hear

seasoned transformers fans waiting to explain 40 years worth of lore to a tf1 new fan who asks the name of a random bot standing in a crowd scene

dream come true

cameo.com

Andy Milder for just 'you',no exact name

Connect with your favorite stars.

Joyeuse Saint-Valentin!

Happy Valentine's Day! So, check it out: we're super into this fanfic named 'a minute to midnight' (Written by our dear Vivienne@vampiric-hungers-archived, you can find it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48687895), and it totally inspired us, so me and my bud@it-holic commissioned LaCroix's Voice Actor Andy to whip up this fan video.The lines in the video were crafted by our super talented Vivienne too,yup we did it together!Big shoutout to Andy and Vivienne!

BTW I've used the audio files provided by Andy to make a video to make it feel like you're in the game lol.Hope you're vibing with it.Happy Valentine's Day again, kindred!

Snake Fruit Cookie backstory headcanon

My friends and I once made a theory that Snake Fruit Cookie was the child of Affogato, who he «conjured» with the help of magic and a piece broken off from Dark Cacao. I know this sounds crazy, but listen.

Snake Fruit always dreamed of becoming a dragon, like those they were forced to bow before their entire life. Actually, this is probably why they went to serve Longan in the first place. But when they eventually managed to turn into a dragon, their appearance looked differently: Ananas, Lotus and Pitaya (I couldn't find Lychee, but I think they looked the same) were built, more or less, as we are used to seeing them in Western folklore – like lizards.

Snake Fruit, on the other hand, seemed to look more like a snake, they didn't have the wings or even the body of a dinosaur, and, nevertheless, they were signed as «Snake Fruit Dragon».

What does it mean?

Well, if you look closely, you'll see that they are depicted as a stereotypical Oreo dragon from the Dark Cacao Kingdom. I don’t think that if it had depended on them, they wouldn't have taken on the appearance that they saw in the faces of their masters – which means that they acquired such an appearance due to circumstances beyond their control. I'm making the simplest bet possible: they already were like this, it was in their nature to become a dragon that looked like this.

Because Snake Fruit themselves are not from this region. They are from a place where serpentine dragons are reflected in culture (tapestry and statues) and folklore (the tale of dragons that king Dark Cacao cut down, creating a cycle of day and night).

Now what does their supposed kinship has to do with it? Well, eh, I just wanted to somehow connect these two restless souls with too similar destinies, but different ages (I always presumed Affogato is old for some reason): both Affogato and Snake Fruit managed to achieve their goals, but failed to keep them. I can’t say anything about their external resemblance to any of them – based on their appearance, I can rather assume that this is Affogato who's the second parent of Dark Choco, but that’s not the point.

Based on some joking Twitter posts, we've concluded that most likely Choco's mother is White Lily, who created him based on her designs and research (with some help from Dark Cacao, of course), but what happened to her notes when she left to Beast Yeast? They didn't just disappear, did they? So, I came to the conclusion that no, they didn't – which Affogato could have taken advantage of.

Affogato couldn't have been unaware of the circumstances under which Prince Dark Choco was exiled: it might have occurred to him at some point to curry favor with the king by using Lily's notes to create a new heir (possibly even secretly taking a piece from him, resulting in unequal parts). No relations are implied here though: in Cookie Run, one of the semi-«official» methods of reproduction involves breaking off two pieces of dough from the parents to, when combined, create a new cookie.

He didn't take into account, though, that his half ended up disproportionately larger than Cacao's: baby Snake Fruit turned out to be almost a copy of Affogato, and he began to fear that the king simply wouldn't believe him. Add to that Cacao's deteriorating condition due to Affogato's control magic, and we have a deadlock situation: the resulting child needed to be protected.

Affogato could have known that the dragon gene might reveal in Snake Fruit one day. Considering that he himself was a mixture of Coffee Tribe and Milk Tribe residents, and the resulting child clearly reflected his Milk ancestors, it was safe to assume that Dark Cacao's ancestors would eventually manifest themselves too. Keeping this in mind, the idea came to him to send the child far away to Longan, the Dragon Master, to keep them away from harm. They would raise them, nurture them in their home, and perhaps something worthwhile would come out of them, while Affogato figured out how to explain their existence to the king.

Well, along with the genes of Affogato's ancestors, Snake Fruit inherited his nasty character and penchant for intrigue – unwittingly following in the footsteps of one of their parents, becoming an advisor and being cast down for it into the abyss. Hopefully, their body will wash up on the shores of the continent, where their newfound majesties can be picked up by kind people: someone must ultimately look after the king while Caramel Arrow is busy defending the kingdom, and Dark Choco hasn't come to his senses yet.

Literally the only thing that doesn't fit into this theory is Longan themselves: firstly, their dragon appearance somewhat resembles Snake Fruit's dragon form. There's no reason to assume that Longan has any connection to the Dark Cacao Kingdom (unless Snake Fruit hadn't seen their dragon form before). And secondly, Longan... well, they're chauvinist – they wouldn't accept a regular cookie into their service, even if kings were to ask them to. In that case, Affogato would have to persuade the dragons that the child is a hundred percent dragon, just not awakened yet (and by the time it became clear that it's more cookie than dragon, they would have gotten used to their service and simply mockingly called them «Snake»).

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk again.

Maybe this is crazy and unhinged thing to do but I sometimes assign people I know to the vampire clans (of course without telling them) and explain some of their actions to myself based on it, like "oh this guy is so pretentious and always mentions how his family was Polish nobility before the soviets, typical Ventrue behaviour" or "I know what you are, an art student with penchant for weird sculpture and anatomical oddities", or our local gothic witch bars, book stores and cafés in the city center which I presume is Tremere chantry undercover, is there any hope for me.

I perfectly understand that Dark Cacao Kingdom is based on Ancient Korea, but since Affogato's clothing design is a mixture of Chinese and Korean ceremonial attire, and Affogato himself is a magician and a priest teacher, can we call him Grandmaster of Doughmonic Cultivation?

I just so love it when people try to call trans people «transformers🤪» as an insult as if the transformers fandom wasn't one of the most diverse and inclusive and had the entire lore built on LGBTQ rep (I can't even think of any continuity that didn't have it implied that gender- and sexuality diversity is canon, like they're alien robots why would they even identify with our «traditional» definitions in the first place, that doesn't even make sense-)

I don't know if somebody already talked about it, but I also don't remember finding this type of theory surrounding the inspiration origins of Crème Republic (because ofc the wiki had to make everything about the States again-)

We more or less know the inspiration for all the Ancient's kingdoms – some with distinctive cultures, some (like Faerie Kingdom) are mostly folklore. But the consensus of Crème Republic is that it's mostly something Greek or Roman that's being occupied by French for some reason.

Well, I think there is a reason for them being specifically French in a Greek-based place, because that's exactly what it is. Let me introduce you to the Latin Empire.

So, long story short: that'd explain their mostly French names and the understandable dissatisfaction of the native Cookies' of the Sea of them taking up the majority of the Council seats. Their cartoonish goodness and glory doesn't exactly match with the history (especially with the fact that in crk Vanillians are war refugees instead of, y'know, crusaders. and thank god) – but eh well, Constantinople (now Istanbul) was an ancient city with a rich history and culture even back then, and even more so now. Devsis kinda had to get rid of the monarchy in favour of more Roman-style government, but that's for the better ig?

It's still my favourite Kingdom in crk because I just love the whole warm vibes of it and it has all my favourite cookies in there, but it's interesting how people may have overlooked this obvious reference to the concept of Francocracy lol

No shade to daddy Stoker but I find it sad that now every story about vampires set in Slavoland is doomed be a Dracula rip-off regardless of whether you actually are from the region or not and because of what? Because of some dudes from Hollywood across the ocean who probably think ussr is still a thing god forbid and that Romanians and Polish are the same

Yet think, a day will come, when fate's decree And angry gods shall wreak this wrong on thee; Phoebus and Paris shall avenge my fate, And stretch thee here before the Scaean gate.