Baizhu's S/O Helping Him Rest Up

Happy Birthday, Sangonomiya Kokomi!

The strange and fantastical world depicted in this book is truly captivating.

That said, having a day off without being disturbed by the tedium of official duties — leaves me free to browse through some supernatural novels while enjoying this view of the shimmering waves. It's quite a pleasant way of life indeed...

On that note, how has adventuring been treating you these days? Are your stories as plentiful and exciting as the ones in this book?

Since I've got today all to myself, why not regale me with some stories of your own? Look, even this little one's gotten all curious.

ocean eyes

You’ve never seen the ocean. Kafka introduces you to it.

fluffy as fawk, recycled the idea from that fic but it’d be like a prequel technically, 2.3k words

A/N: couldn’t stop thinking about kafka loving the sea she’s made for me atp. title only makes sense because of the other fic lol

The sea breeze washes over your being, it caresses each strand of hair and softly touches your skin like gentle hands cupping your cheeks. You feel it in your ears, a sound you’re hearing for the first time; its warmth seems to enter your lungs and clear it of past impurities with every inhale, and you wish to take a deep breath to keep it inside your chest forever.

The sensation leaves you immobile. In front of you, the ocean. A myth come true, its beauty rivaling Idrila’s. It’s vast, bigger than your mind can comprehend even after so many years spent traveling the cosmos, and a deeper blue than the sky it’s reflecting. Water has never been so alive, with waves crashing on the shore and currents on the horizon, you are facing an entity larger than life. Its depths create and harbor life that you won’t ever get to see. Your mortal eyes can only perceive a fraction of it, so small and significant. You didn’t think it was possible for water to kiss the sky, having the proof before you fills you with wonderment. Among it, some strange feeling nestles in your throat. You stand as it curls around your vocal cords and leaves you mute. Words are useless in front of something so grand, you realize, they fade away as if they've never existed at all. You lose yourself in cold blues and the occasional whites of flying seagulls, in salty air that quickly becomes your favorite scent, and you can’t speak for a long moment.

Lithe fingers, laced with your calloused ones, tighten their hold on your hand. It takes a couple blinks to tear your eyes away from the boundless sea, and you turn to Kafka’s fond smile. She’s watching you, drinking you in like you’re the precious sight and not the limitless expanse of water on the coast. A thumb swipes over the crease of your eye, lingering at the corner for a second too long, and you realize she’s wiping a tear away.

“Oh,” you exhale softly, bringing your free hand to your face. Your cheeks are wet with silent tears and you sniffle as you wipe them from your skin. “I didn’t even notice.”

“What were you thinking about so intently just now?”

You look back at the sea, an ache in your throat. The sun hides behind thin clouds and paints the world in soft colors.

“I was wondering if my planet was ever this pretty. I wish my mother could have seen it.”

Your home world fell victim to a Stellaron, like plenty throughout the galaxy. It dried most of your rivers and evaporated many of your lakes, transforming seas into lands full of sand. Water was a limited resource and a tedious thing to acquire. You remember stumbling on a picture book with various shades of blue filling some of the pages and asking your mother about it. That evening, she explained the ocean to you; never-ending, deeper than mortals can comprehend and filled with creatures your childish mind could merely compare to alien life. You thought she was making stuff up, maybe embellishing a mundane truth, but she spoke of the sea with the same tenderness she used to tuck you into bed. As you grew, you understood that it was longing in her words, a deep desire for something she would never experience in this lifetime. To you, it felt pointless to yearn for something she didn’t know; your mother was born long after the Stellaron infected your planet and spread its cancer to the roots of your world. You didn’t understand how this desire was born, where it came from. Yet, in her eyes resided a wistfulness that was only extinguished the day she died. She left the waking world longing for the sea, and memories of her constrict your chest as you stand at the edge of it.

Kafka hums, pivoting to face the water. A gentle silence settles between you as you watch the waves rise and fall on the shore. Her bare palm is warm against yours, it grounds you to the sand beneath your feet. Seagulls make a grating sound, you discover, but even their squawking can’t ruin the view before you. You feel a sudden restlessness to touch the water, to have it envelop you entirely until you feel yourself disappear in it as if absorbed.

“Can we go in the water?”

Kafka smiles. “Sure.”

Your hand slips from hers and you step out of your slides, sinking your toes into the hot sand of the beach. Sand is something you’re familiar with, it reminds you of your mom and your broken world. Comfort fills you with every step towards the waves. Kafka follows beside you, used to the sights and the sensations. She comes here every summer, but this is the first time she’s brought you along. You understand why she’d want a place like this all to herself, it brings forth a sense of serenity best enjoyed in solitude. Or, at least it did, before. Before experience brought you closer.

You hesitate somewhat once you reach the water. Your feet are submerged in it and suddenly its vastness becomes a little terrifying. Kafka walks in further until she’s standing waist deep in the water, circling hands creating ripples around her. She turns to face you with a silent question on her stretched lips.

“…I don’t know how to swim,” you confess uselessly, prompting a chuckle out of her. She knows that, obviously, since you’re unfamiliar with large bodies of water.

“We can stay on the shallow end. Don’t want you drowning on my watch, I’d get in a lot of trouble with the others.”

Kafka holds out her hand. You take it with some reticence. She brings you close enough for wet fingers to squeeze your waist affectionately. Her easy expression makes you at ease, she seems different on this planet, more carefree. She’s not wearing her contacts and her ponytail is lower than usual, its tie looser around her long locks of hair. You’re privy to a side of her you had no idea existed and you’re honored by the trust she puts in you.

“Nice, right?”

“It’s cold,” you reply, looking down at your wobbly reflections.

“Mm, I like it.”

You dip your hands beneath the water and turn your palms to the sky. Algae brushes against your calves as you move around. Kafka lets you explore, head tilting back to face the sun. You venture a bit further until your neck is the only thing sticking out of the water. Impulsively, you squeeze your eyes shut, pinch your nose with two fingers and sink into the water. Every sound is muffled in your ears, and in the darkness everything is pointless. This is different from a shower or being caught in the pouring rain, you feel light. weightless, insignificant. You wonder if that’s what your mother longed for, this freedom to be anything and anyone, drifting through the boundless sea. You emerge with a little gasp, rubbing the water out of your eyes before blinking them open.

You’re careful not to stray too far from where Kafka is drinking in the faint sunlight. Her eyes are closed when you glance back at her, chin tilted to the heavens. Her shoulders have turned a rosier color from the sun and her dark, backless bathing suit contrasts beautifully with the clear ocean blue. You walk towards her, flicking your wrist to send water flying her way. Her brows twist for a second before she looks at you with a small smile. Kafka always smiles a lot, more often than not to unsettle her opponent or prey, but there’s a softer edge to the ones she’s had since you arrived on this planet.

“What do you usually do here?” You ask, moving closer to her.

“Float. Wanna try?” Kafka holds onto your waist when you’re close enough to reach, pulling you towards her. “I can show you.”

“I don’t want to drown.”

“You’re not going to drown.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Kafka playfully rolls her eyes and takes hold of your chin with a few fingers. Her gaze follows the movement of her thumb across your jaw, then flicks up to meet yours.

“I wouldn’t let you,” she says, leaning in to press her lips on yours in a soft kiss. Your eyes flutter shut as her mouth slowly moves against yours. She pulls away after a moment and looks at you. “Do you trust me?”

“At times.”

“Well, trust me now.”

One of her hands is placed on the small of your back to support you, the other gently guides you onto your back by applying pressure on your chest.

“What if I float away,” you say, a tinge of panic enveloping you, and you grab her wrist to stay upright.

Kafka can’t help the amusement on her face. “To where?”

“Far, I don’t know.”

“Would you miss me?”

You pout. “It’s a valid fear to have.”

“It’s really not.”

“What if I float to the deep end, then it’s too late to come back and I drown because I can’t swim?”

Kafka looks at you for a moment, eyelids lowering and an amused smile on her lips. She doesn’t say anything, just stares at you like she’s thinking of something funny.

“What?” You ask, eyes narrowing.

“You killed three flying beasts twice your size at once, last week. You're scared of a little water?”

“Fuck you,” you try pushing her away, but she only presses you further into her with her arms around your waist, a laugh escaping her. “There’s nothing little about the fucking ocean.”

“Relax,” she drawls, “it won’t work if you’re tense.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing.”

Kafka curls a hand around the back of your neck and suddenly brings you closer to capture your lips with hers. Her head tilts to kiss you better, and you can’t focus on anything but the sweet kisses she presses against your mouth. Your wet hand trails up her spine, causing droplets of water to slide down her back. Your lips part to deepen the kiss when her tongue swipes over your bottom lip. You forget the argument, your muscles relax as her chest touches yours, and by the time she pulls away with a soft exhale through her nose, you almost forget your surroundings. You chase her lips as she leans back, planting a few more chaste kisses on her mouth. She indulges you for a minute, the fingers on your nape tightening their grip for an instant. You’re breathing heavier when she separates from you for good and smiles.

“Now, let’s try it again, mmh?”

Kafka teaches you how to float in the water with firm hands and occasional teasing jabs to which you would respond if she wasn’t the one standing between you and drowning. In the end, you spend most of the day at sea, learning how to keep water from going up your nose without using your fingers and the basics of swimming. Your fingertips are pruned hours later as you emerge from the water. Kafka’s still under— you bet on who could hold their breath the longest— so you dive back beneath the surface as quietly as you can. She calls you a cheater afterwards, but you distract her with wet, slippery kisses.

You’re drying yourselves on the beach as the sun sets below the horizon. You sit on your towel next to Kafka, who’s reclined on her elbows. Her eyes are closed, not a crease between her brows, and her head is tilted upwards. Before, you thought she was sunbathing, but now the temperature is slightly lower than this afternoon and the sun is no longer visible in the sky. You think perhaps she’s simply enjoying the sound of the waves and the salty air like you did earlier. It’s funny, she hasn’t told you what this place means to her; it clearly holds some sort of significance if she returns to it annually. Her way of revealing herself is unconventional at best and a little clumsy, like a fawn taking its first steps. She presents you the sea, this part of her she keeps hidden from everyone, and says nothing else. You watch the lines of her nose, the curves of her lips and their pretty pink color. Her face is bare from any makeup, her hair loose and her expression so relaxed she might’ve been asleep. She’s beautiful. You’re no longer gazing at the ocean, though you feel a familiar sense of wonder as you observe her. Your heart is light in your chest and you suddenly understand how your mother could yearn for something she’s never experienced before.

Kafka’s eyes slowly blink open. She tilts her head to meet your stare with a smile, and you long to love her like your mother longed for the sea.

“Let’s stay a little longer.”

You nod. Your limbs move before you can stop yourself; you straddle her waist, sitting on her lap and snaking your arms around her back. Kafka lets you bury your nose in the crook of her neck, using a hand in the sand to support the both of you.

“What’s that for?” There’s a teasing lilt to her voice as you breathe in the smell of the sea on her skin.

“Nothing,” you lie, pressing a kiss to her skin.

Your mouth trails up her neck to her jaw, tasting salt, and Kafka hums when you kiss her lips. It feels different to kiss her after getting acquainted with the ocean because you finally have something to compare the weightlessness that overwhelms you with each of her fervish kisses. A hand tangles itself in your hair, pulling you closer until she reclines on the ground and your body follows without missing a beat, lips locked.

You pull away to breathe in, only slightly, reveling in the sensation of her hand up your back.

“You’ll get sand in my hair,” Kafka mutters into your mouth.

“I’ll wash it for you.”

On a deserted beach and with the sea as your witness, you kiss her until the moon ascends in the sky and the waves grow stronger behind you.

i see! :0 it's interesting reading about why people like the characters they do, i like her for a lot of the same reasons. you'll be glad to know that i think miko is supposed to be in the current genshin event! she's in the art for it at least so she should turn up at some point.

HAHA no-bell prize got me, that's a good one. people sometimes tell me i overuse my knock knock jokes, but i say don't knock it till you try it 😎

-🐈‍⬛

Are there any other different reasons in your case, if I may ask? 👀

Indeed, I noticed her too, although I ought to finish the 2.2 story quest in Honkai Star Rail first (for spoilers' sake), before focusing on that music event 🤔

But Itto's there, and even if I may not be a huge fan of him, his EN VA is always so good though 😊

Perhaps it's also just that only a few select people have such a refined taste for dad/Cyno jokes 🗿

not to be That Person but when people are like “why isn’t there a big fandom culture anymore?” umm…

maybe this is why???? That an author can spend hours (if not days or weeks or months) on something, have 1,800 people read it, and only have THREE people willing to take a few extra seconds out of their day to comment. Not even something as simple as “thanks for sharing” or “second kudos” or “❤️”

I’m not the internet police. You decide what you do with your time. Just don’t be surprised if the result is that creators leave your fandoms. I’m not writing to scream into the void. If that’s what I wanted, I wouldn’t bother posting. Fandom is a community. It’s an exchange of enthusiasm over this thing we all love. And who’s gonna keep showing up at your house with a goodie basket if all you do is take the basket, slam the door, and leave them outside to watch through the window while you eat?

Hellsing - Masterlist

Fluff = 🤍

Smut = 🖤 No TW = 🎀

Mild TW = 🔪

Moderate TW = ⚔️

Intense TW = ⚰️ Romantic Affection = 🥀

Platonic Affection = 🎨

Not Specified Affection = 🌈 Gender Neutral Reader = 💫

Female Reader = 🩰

Male Reader = 🍂 Headcanons = 📃

One Shot = 📖

Fanfiction = 📚

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alucard

- Relationship Headcanons (⚔️/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- Cuddle Headcanons (🎀/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- Falling In Love (🔪/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- x Playful!Reader (🎀/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- x Calm!Reader ( 🔪/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- x Carefree!Reader (🔪/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

Pip

- x Witch!Reader (🎀/📃/🌈 /💫)

- x Military!Reader (🎀/📃/🥀/💫)

hello erwin, i hope you're well! may i please request reader (with a personality like hu tao/ei) who's dreadful at cooking trying to make something with whichever three characters you think would be funniest?

i've been thinking of this for a while and thought it would be really funny- i feel like cooking with a short tempered character or another character who's bad at cooking would be hilarious, but i'm curious to hear what you think! hope you have a good day :)

-🐈‍⬛

I am, thanks; I hope you're well too, and have a good day as well 😊 Considering the nature of this request, I shall try a different layout... although, I wasn't inspired in the same way for each of them, I hope you will like it still 🤔

Cooking headcanons with a GN reader who can't cook & whose personality is a mixture of Hu Tao and Ei, with...

... a character who can't cook (Raiden Shogun)

Oh boy...

Upon hearing about this kind of event, Yae Miko asked to assist you two

Officially, to be the judge who will taste the results (her sacrifice shall be remembered) but officiously, it's just to enjoy the show

Ei will be glad to have some social time with someone like her

The two of you decided to attempt preparing some Tricolor Dango Balls, hoping that a favourite snack would be more motivating, thus with higher chances of success

The result was... anything but that, not just because of the potato shapes, but also due to the, somehow, identical color for each of them

... and the lack of noticeable taste

At least, it doesn't look nor smell too much like poison

In any case, judge Yae Miko could still ask a certain Gorou to taste-try instead, as a gesture of "apology" for all the past teasing he got from her

... characters who cook suspiciously (Hu Tao, Kamisato Ayato)

When it comes to Hu Tao, you will naturally go along very well with her too, like with Ei

As for Ayato, it will be an original type of break from work

He's used to playing Genius Invokation TCG with Itto anyway, so he won't mind another form of curious... "originality"

They will both help you, even using your lack of knowledge as inspiration to try something new

Then will come the time to have a taste of the result... well, more like finding a guinea pig

It would be more fun interesting to receive exterior feedback, after all

Ayato naturally thought about Thoma (it wouldn't be the first nor last time)

As for Hu Tao, well... how about going for a stroll through Liyue Harbor? Surely there's a merchant out there in need of some mood boost, after losing a commercial contract to a competitor

... characters who are great cooks (Noelle, Navia...)

They won't question how it's possible, they will instead selflessly teach you, all the while cooking the food at the same time, with patience and words of encouragement

Your bubbly reactions will be payment enough for them, making them feel pleased to have helped you

In the end, you'll enjoy the food together and they will invite you for another time

... cooking with Xiangling

If never you believed that being dreadful at cooking was unusual, wait until you witness in person the ingredients used by Xiangling

It will help you put things into perspective

If she can cook something tasty without following the commonly-accepted culinary norms, then it means that you, too, can do it!

After seeing the non-negligible room for improvement you possess though... she suggested you to be her assistant instead, for this time

This way, she could show you now, and next time you'd do some practice (... with her help still)

... cooking with Bennett

You know, straight from the start, that it won't happen with ideal conditions

Not that he wouldn't help you, quite the contrary, the mood will be cheerful and optimistic despite all odds

It's just that the labels on the recipients he brought are gone... after he found himself dripping wet from falling in a lake... startled by one of Timmie's pigeons... trying to survive one more extra day

At some point, you wondered if this recipient was full of salt or baking soda

And later on, if that one was filled with cinnamon powder or black pepper

What's the worst that could happen anyway?

Barbara is used to regularly check on him, so one more or one less check up will not make much of a difference to her, at this point

... cooking with Qiqi

"What... was the next step again? I... I forgot."

One good thing though: she doesn't mistake your bubbly behavior for being the one and only Hu Tao

Thankfully, Dr. Baizhu showed up to save the day... and also to prevent you from starving tonight

... cooking with Arataki Itto

"What do you mean, you can't cook?"

"Now, compadre, lemme tell you: this is a sentence from the past! 'cause Arataki "Numero Uno Cheffo Supremo" Itto, here in the flesh, will teach you all there is to know!"

"Uh-huh, that's right! And after I show you how the pros do it, you'll make even the Raiden Shogun herself show up, to come taste your cooking! I'm talking from experience here, you know?

And if the smell isn't enough... well, I'll just throw papers into Tenshukaku again, it's no big deal."

Needless to say, Shinobu's 6th sense for incoming troubles triggered after hearing all that... and it didn't take long for the stove itself to be on fire

"Holy moly pepperoni, who summoned the Pyro Archon in here?! We don't even have any offerings ready! Shinobu, do something! Help!"

... cooking with Fischl

Your stomach will be full for the day... but your mind will have reached its monthly limit of speech-processing

If it wasn't for Oz translating everything she says into a less grand, more common (and understandable) form of language, then communication would have been more difficult

At least, she appreciates your efforts to converse with her, despite the... difference of style between you both

"I, Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung, shall assist thou in thy divine mission of fulfilling thy satiety by thyself"

"Thine ancient and forgotten recipes, from thy secret realms within thy depths of thy Immernachtreich, shall be revealed to thou on thy blessed day"

"Where thine clouds from thy evil forces of darkness, thine despicable enemies of light, will become disintegrated, as thou shall spread wide thine wings of culinary knowledge"

"Thus, beginning a new era in which thou shall be able to course thy own path, becoming a sovereign of eating preparation"

"A path where thy kitchen shall no longer be regarded as a place of everlasting, insurmountable hardship"

"What mein Fräulein means to say is, she will gladly teach you how to cook"

Thank you for reading! Link to main post

It’s not your job to be likable. It’s your job to be yourself. The right people will gravitate.

the thyme pun made me laugh 😭😭😭😭 this is so cute, thank you for doing my request! i think you write wanderer well! :D this came at the perfect time hahah, i was so happy to see a wanderer post

-🐈‍⬛

I envy your ability to "laugh" at puns, I'm always stuck with grinning at best, similarly to Albedo 🗿

You're welcome, I'm glad you like it, and thank you 👀

oh no it was totally all my fault 😂 i couldn't get any matcha powder so i substituted it for matcha tea powder, and i couldn't get any rose powder or whatever's it's called for the pink ones so i got rose oil instead. but i tipped so much in the bowl that it was tacky and sticky, so i kept adding more flour to fix it (against my friends advice), lo and behold the pink ones were the most inedible of the three... those were our entry for a genshin meal cook off with friends too, so while everyone else brought smoked chicken and mora meat, all we had to show for ourselves was our multicoloured play dough that had gone all soggy from being in the fridge overnight 💔 fun memories though

YOOOOO YOU'RE RIGHT ITS THE SAME POSE!! i never noticed :-0 el psy kongroo 😌 i'm not really a big fischl fan, but i like the loneliness part of her character too!

-🐈‍⬛

Oh... I see, well, you have a bunch of inspiration now, to train for next time, and noticeably Navia 😉

I never noticed at first, it took me a while... but now it's done, and she's even C6 and built, although more for Physical than Electro 🫢

El Psy Kongroo 🍷🗿