Happy Birthday, Kamisato Ayaka!

thinking about comforting robin when she finally allows herself to give into the media’s pressure.

robin’s face is buried in her hands as she quietly sits in her dressing room during a prerehearsal. she’s tired, exhausted, don’t people have some humanity? she not an object, she has feelings. why do they think it’s okay to constantly cross her boundaries just because she’s a ‘celebrity’? for the first time in a while, the singer anxiously bites down on her bottom lip as she feels a lump lodge in her throat and the dreading feeling of anxiety bubbling in her chest.

the door softly opens and you enter inside with a cold water bottle in your hand. your brows furrow with worry when you see robin hunched over on the chair, face tucked in her hands and wings flattened. “ robin, what’s wrong? are you feeling sick?! “ you immediately ran to her side and crouched down in front of her, setting the bottle by her feet. your gaze drops down to robin’s phone on her lap. (e/c) eyes narrows into a squint at the screen showing a familiar advertisement of her. “ huh? “ you take her phone from her lap to read the text under your breath.

“ is robin binge eating. .20 pounds in a—what is this garbage? they have absolutely no reason to put it like that, it was merely a commercial shoot! these fools are so damn miserable, it’s not even funny! “ you hissed, gritting your teeth in anger. then, with a heavy sigh, you begrudgingly turned off her phone and set it aside on the vanity counter.

“ sweetheart, “ you touch her knees tenderly, robin only emits a soft little noise of distress in response. it breaks your heart to see her like this. if robin, who’s a kind-hearted and optimistic person, can get reduced into a depressive state, something has to change. “ angel, “ you call out again softly, reaching out to grasp her wrists. “ look at me, please? “

reluctantly, she removes her hands away from her face. sad jade eyes pools into yours as she casts you a tight-lipped smile. “ i’m sorry, i’m okay. i’m aware that i shouldn’t let things like that get to me but i suppose it’s just one of those days. “ she lies. you shake your head with disapproval, your palm presses against robin’s warm cheek and she nuzzles into it.

“ no no, it shouldn’t have to be like that, you have every right to feel that way. people are just incredibly nasty with no brains in their heads.—“

“ miss robin, “ a male voice calls out, a few firm knocks reverberates around the room. “ it’s about time for—“

you chime, not caring to shadow the irritation in your voice. “ give her 5 more minutes, she’s not ready! “

“ we don’t have time, she have to—“

“ she doesn’t have to do anything! “ you barked, throwing an angry glare at the producer behind the door. “ robin isn’t on your time, she’s on her own time! if i say she’s not ready then she’s not ready! if you have anything else to say about it, i can meet you right outside the door so we can discuss the issue! “

you can hear the man’s sigh of frustration before walking away from the door.

“ like, see? the nerve of him. “ you exhale heavily through your nose and returned your attention back to the stressed singer. there’s admiration in robin’s eyes as your thumb strokes the fleshy area of her creamy skin. “ thank you, my muse. but, i wish you could’ve been a wee nicer. “ she says, a playful pitch in her dulcet voice, feathery wings slightly puffed out according to her better mood.

your lips pucker into a pout. “ not when he’s talking to my woman like that. if it weren’t for you, i’d go out there and—“

robin’s soft lips meets yours in a tender kiss for a short moment. she pulls away and rests a delicate hand over yours on her cheek.“ again, thank you for being by my side, my sweet, you’re like my rock. i’m not sure what i’d do without you here. ” she confesses in a gentle whisper, resting her forehead against yours.

you let out a soft sigh, brushing your nose against hers. “ robin, let’s run away together, away from penacony—just me and you. “

robin holds onto your hand a little tighter, the conflicted look on her face makes the creases appear between her brows. “ i. . truthfully, i wish to leave but. .i haven’t put much thought into it yet. “

you press a kiss to her frowning lips, “ that’s fine. but just know whatever decision you make, i’ll be there to support you. “

ocean eyes

You’ve never seen the ocean. Kafka introduces you to it.

fluffy as fawk, recycled the idea from that fic but it’d be like a prequel technically, 2.3k words

A/N: couldn’t stop thinking about kafka loving the sea she’s made for me atp. title only makes sense because of the other fic lol

The sea breeze washes over your being, it caresses each strand of hair and softly touches your skin like gentle hands cupping your cheeks. You feel it in your ears, a sound you’re hearing for the first time; its warmth seems to enter your lungs and clear it of past impurities with every inhale, and you wish to take a deep breath to keep it inside your chest forever.

The sensation leaves you immobile. In front of you, the ocean. A myth come true, its beauty rivaling Idrila’s. It’s vast, bigger than your mind can comprehend even after so many years spent traveling the cosmos, and a deeper blue than the sky it’s reflecting. Water has never been so alive, with waves crashing on the shore and currents on the horizon, you are facing an entity larger than life. Its depths create and harbor life that you won’t ever get to see. Your mortal eyes can only perceive a fraction of it, so small and significant. You didn’t think it was possible for water to kiss the sky, having the proof before you fills you with wonderment. Among it, some strange feeling nestles in your throat. You stand as it curls around your vocal cords and leaves you mute. Words are useless in front of something so grand, you realize, they fade away as if they've never existed at all. You lose yourself in cold blues and the occasional whites of flying seagulls, in salty air that quickly becomes your favorite scent, and you can’t speak for a long moment.

Lithe fingers, laced with your calloused ones, tighten their hold on your hand. It takes a couple blinks to tear your eyes away from the boundless sea, and you turn to Kafka’s fond smile. She’s watching you, drinking you in like you’re the precious sight and not the limitless expanse of water on the coast. A thumb swipes over the crease of your eye, lingering at the corner for a second too long, and you realize she’s wiping a tear away.

“Oh,” you exhale softly, bringing your free hand to your face. Your cheeks are wet with silent tears and you sniffle as you wipe them from your skin. “I didn’t even notice.”

“What were you thinking about so intently just now?”

You look back at the sea, an ache in your throat. The sun hides behind thin clouds and paints the world in soft colors.

“I was wondering if my planet was ever this pretty. I wish my mother could have seen it.”

Your home world fell victim to a Stellaron, like plenty throughout the galaxy. It dried most of your rivers and evaporated many of your lakes, transforming seas into lands full of sand. Water was a limited resource and a tedious thing to acquire. You remember stumbling on a picture book with various shades of blue filling some of the pages and asking your mother about it. That evening, she explained the ocean to you; never-ending, deeper than mortals can comprehend and filled with creatures your childish mind could merely compare to alien life. You thought she was making stuff up, maybe embellishing a mundane truth, but she spoke of the sea with the same tenderness she used to tuck you into bed. As you grew, you understood that it was longing in her words, a deep desire for something she would never experience in this lifetime. To you, it felt pointless to yearn for something she didn’t know; your mother was born long after the Stellaron infected your planet and spread its cancer to the roots of your world. You didn’t understand how this desire was born, where it came from. Yet, in her eyes resided a wistfulness that was only extinguished the day she died. She left the waking world longing for the sea, and memories of her constrict your chest as you stand at the edge of it.

Kafka hums, pivoting to face the water. A gentle silence settles between you as you watch the waves rise and fall on the shore. Her bare palm is warm against yours, it grounds you to the sand beneath your feet. Seagulls make a grating sound, you discover, but even their squawking can’t ruin the view before you. You feel a sudden restlessness to touch the water, to have it envelop you entirely until you feel yourself disappear in it as if absorbed.

“Can we go in the water?”

Kafka smiles. “Sure.”

Your hand slips from hers and you step out of your slides, sinking your toes into the hot sand of the beach. Sand is something you’re familiar with, it reminds you of your mom and your broken world. Comfort fills you with every step towards the waves. Kafka follows beside you, used to the sights and the sensations. She comes here every summer, but this is the first time she’s brought you along. You understand why she’d want a place like this all to herself, it brings forth a sense of serenity best enjoyed in solitude. Or, at least it did, before. Before experience brought you closer.

You hesitate somewhat once you reach the water. Your feet are submerged in it and suddenly its vastness becomes a little terrifying. Kafka walks in further until she’s standing waist deep in the water, circling hands creating ripples around her. She turns to face you with a silent question on her stretched lips.

“…I don’t know how to swim,” you confess uselessly, prompting a chuckle out of her. She knows that, obviously, since you’re unfamiliar with large bodies of water.

“We can stay on the shallow end. Don’t want you drowning on my watch, I’d get in a lot of trouble with the others.”

Kafka holds out her hand. You take it with some reticence. She brings you close enough for wet fingers to squeeze your waist affectionately. Her easy expression makes you at ease, she seems different on this planet, more carefree. She’s not wearing her contacts and her ponytail is lower than usual, its tie looser around her long locks of hair. You’re privy to a side of her you had no idea existed and you’re honored by the trust she puts in you.

“Nice, right?”

“It’s cold,” you reply, looking down at your wobbly reflections.

“Mm, I like it.”

You dip your hands beneath the water and turn your palms to the sky. Algae brushes against your calves as you move around. Kafka lets you explore, head tilting back to face the sun. You venture a bit further until your neck is the only thing sticking out of the water. Impulsively, you squeeze your eyes shut, pinch your nose with two fingers and sink into the water. Every sound is muffled in your ears, and in the darkness everything is pointless. This is different from a shower or being caught in the pouring rain, you feel light. weightless, insignificant. You wonder if that’s what your mother longed for, this freedom to be anything and anyone, drifting through the boundless sea. You emerge with a little gasp, rubbing the water out of your eyes before blinking them open.

You’re careful not to stray too far from where Kafka is drinking in the faint sunlight. Her eyes are closed when you glance back at her, chin tilted to the heavens. Her shoulders have turned a rosier color from the sun and her dark, backless bathing suit contrasts beautifully with the clear ocean blue. You walk towards her, flicking your wrist to send water flying her way. Her brows twist for a second before she looks at you with a small smile. Kafka always smiles a lot, more often than not to unsettle her opponent or prey, but there’s a softer edge to the ones she’s had since you arrived on this planet.

“What do you usually do here?” You ask, moving closer to her.

“Float. Wanna try?” Kafka holds onto your waist when you’re close enough to reach, pulling you towards her. “I can show you.”

“I don’t want to drown.”

“You’re not going to drown.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Kafka playfully rolls her eyes and takes hold of your chin with a few fingers. Her gaze follows the movement of her thumb across your jaw, then flicks up to meet yours.

“I wouldn’t let you,” she says, leaning in to press her lips on yours in a soft kiss. Your eyes flutter shut as her mouth slowly moves against yours. She pulls away after a moment and looks at you. “Do you trust me?”

“At times.”

“Well, trust me now.”

One of her hands is placed on the small of your back to support you, the other gently guides you onto your back by applying pressure on your chest.

“What if I float away,” you say, a tinge of panic enveloping you, and you grab her wrist to stay upright.

Kafka can’t help the amusement on her face. “To where?”

“Far, I don’t know.”

“Would you miss me?”

You pout. “It’s a valid fear to have.”

“It’s really not.”

“What if I float to the deep end, then it’s too late to come back and I drown because I can’t swim?”

Kafka looks at you for a moment, eyelids lowering and an amused smile on her lips. She doesn’t say anything, just stares at you like she’s thinking of something funny.

“What?” You ask, eyes narrowing.

“You killed three flying beasts twice your size at once, last week. You're scared of a little water?”

“Fuck you,” you try pushing her away, but she only presses you further into her with her arms around your waist, a laugh escaping her. “There’s nothing little about the fucking ocean.”

“Relax,” she drawls, “it won’t work if you’re tense.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing.”

Kafka curls a hand around the back of your neck and suddenly brings you closer to capture your lips with hers. Her head tilts to kiss you better, and you can’t focus on anything but the sweet kisses she presses against your mouth. Your wet hand trails up her spine, causing droplets of water to slide down her back. Your lips part to deepen the kiss when her tongue swipes over your bottom lip. You forget the argument, your muscles relax as her chest touches yours, and by the time she pulls away with a soft exhale through her nose, you almost forget your surroundings. You chase her lips as she leans back, planting a few more chaste kisses on her mouth. She indulges you for a minute, the fingers on your nape tightening their grip for an instant. You’re breathing heavier when she separates from you for good and smiles.

“Now, let’s try it again, mmh?”

Kafka teaches you how to float in the water with firm hands and occasional teasing jabs to which you would respond if she wasn’t the one standing between you and drowning. In the end, you spend most of the day at sea, learning how to keep water from going up your nose without using your fingers and the basics of swimming. Your fingertips are pruned hours later as you emerge from the water. Kafka’s still under— you bet on who could hold their breath the longest— so you dive back beneath the surface as quietly as you can. She calls you a cheater afterwards, but you distract her with wet, slippery kisses.

You’re drying yourselves on the beach as the sun sets below the horizon. You sit on your towel next to Kafka, who’s reclined on her elbows. Her eyes are closed, not a crease between her brows, and her head is tilted upwards. Before, you thought she was sunbathing, but now the temperature is slightly lower than this afternoon and the sun is no longer visible in the sky. You think perhaps she’s simply enjoying the sound of the waves and the salty air like you did earlier. It’s funny, she hasn’t told you what this place means to her; it clearly holds some sort of significance if she returns to it annually. Her way of revealing herself is unconventional at best and a little clumsy, like a fawn taking its first steps. She presents you the sea, this part of her she keeps hidden from everyone, and says nothing else. You watch the lines of her nose, the curves of her lips and their pretty pink color. Her face is bare from any makeup, her hair loose and her expression so relaxed she might’ve been asleep. She’s beautiful. You’re no longer gazing at the ocean, though you feel a familiar sense of wonder as you observe her. Your heart is light in your chest and you suddenly understand how your mother could yearn for something she’s never experienced before.

Kafka’s eyes slowly blink open. She tilts her head to meet your stare with a smile, and you long to love her like your mother longed for the sea.

“Let’s stay a little longer.”

You nod. Your limbs move before you can stop yourself; you straddle her waist, sitting on her lap and snaking your arms around her back. Kafka lets you bury your nose in the crook of her neck, using a hand in the sand to support the both of you.

“What’s that for?” There’s a teasing lilt to her voice as you breathe in the smell of the sea on her skin.

“Nothing,” you lie, pressing a kiss to her skin.

Your mouth trails up her neck to her jaw, tasting salt, and Kafka hums when you kiss her lips. It feels different to kiss her after getting acquainted with the ocean because you finally have something to compare the weightlessness that overwhelms you with each of her fervish kisses. A hand tangles itself in your hair, pulling you closer until she reclines on the ground and your body follows without missing a beat, lips locked.

You pull away to breathe in, only slightly, reveling in the sensation of her hand up your back.

“You’ll get sand in my hair,” Kafka mutters into your mouth.

“I’ll wash it for you.”

On a deserted beach and with the sea as your witness, you kiss her until the moon ascends in the sky and the waves grow stronger behind you.

since at your "love letters" post you said ganyu was extra cuddly, so may I request cuddling headcanons with HSR/genshin girls? if you don't mind pls include furina and fu xuan thank youuu

cuddling!

❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀--❀

cuddling hcs!

various characters x gn!reader

characters: nilou, ei, furina, ganyu, yae miko, ayaka, topaz, feixiao, fu xuan, kafka, robin, seele, firefly

warnings: none

not proofread

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

nilou -`✮´-

• her favorite position is latching onto you and tucking her head under your chin

• she prefers to cuddle in silence, just enjoying your presence and warmth

• she loves to cuddle before a big performance because it helps her calm down and get in the right headspace

• if you gently play with her hair while you are cuddling, she'll turn into putty in your arms

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

ei -`✮´-

• loves to hold you from behind, her arms tightly wrapped around you

• cuddling puts her at ease knowing you are safe and sound in her arms, protected from everything outside

• you aren't leaving her arms until she's satisfied, and on days where she's feeling extra stressed or anxious, you're not moving for a while

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

furina -`✮´-

• acts like she doesn't want to cuddle, but in reality, she desperately wants you to just hold her in your arms

• even though she's vocal about not needing cuddles, she won't make any move to stop you from wrapping your arms around her

• even though she calls you needy for wanting to cuddle so bad, she can't help herself from snuggling just a little closer to you <3

• if you try to leave, she'll hold on to your shirt and sheepishly ask you to stay

you better stay

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

ganyu -`✮´-

• very very blushy whenever you cuddle

• she'll be self conscious about her weight and body shape, thinking she's uncomfortable to hold so please reassure her </3

• your arms are her favorite place to nap, frequently taking her daily afternoon naps with her head resting on your chest

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

yae miko -`✮´-

• will without a doubt be the big spoon

• very be touchy when cuddling, her hands constantly roaming around your body

• if some reason you are feeling extra down that day, she'll help comfort you by wrapping her soft tails around you

• definitely the type to blow on your ears just to get a reaction out of you

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

ayaka -`✮´-

• melts the moment you embrace her

• can't contain her blush and smile when you look her in the eyes

• gets caught up in the moment and plants a quick kiss on the corner of you mouth before turning away in embarrassment

• loves it when you tell you her your favorite stories and experiences from your life

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

topaz -`✮´-

• greatest lap pillow of all time

• when she has her arms wrapped around you though, she likes to rest her chin on your head or kiss you gently on the forehead

• quietly cuddling with you is her favorite to decompress and relax from her busy work days at the ipc

• if numby is not locked out of the room, it will be joining you two, whether you like it or not

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

feixiao -`✮´-

muscle mommy!!

• you will feel the safest you've ever felt in her arms

• even though she's a battle hardened war general, she treats you like the most fragile and precious thing in the world

• loves when you trace your finger along her arms or abs

• there is also no way you're leaving her embrace before she's satisfied

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

fu xuan -`✮´-

• something tells me she is definitely going to be the small spoon

• isn't very vocal about her desires, so she'll probably just gently pull at the bottom of your shirt with the cutest blush on her face to signal when she wants to cuddle

• gets all quiet and bashful in your embrace, and will silently snuggle up or pull you closer

• your presence is relaxing, and she always sleeps the best when she's tangled up with you

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

kafka -`✮´-

• will put on the perfume she knows you love beforehand

• will plant gentle kisses all over your face, leaving lipstick stains everywhere her lips touch you

• loves to listen to you talk about whatever's on your mind while she holds you close and gently strokes your head

• offers you advice to your problems or showers you with praise and affection because oh does she have a massive soft spot for you

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

robin -`✮´-

• she's just such an angel and will listen to everything you have to say, positive or negative

• doesn't care what position you two are cuddling in, she just wants to be near you because your arms act as her safe haven away from all the media and expectations

• if you slowly run your hands up and down her back, her wings will flutter in pleasure and she'll visibly relax <3

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

seele -`✮´-

• would be very tense at first since she's not used to physical affection </3

• her face will be bright red the entire time, and can't look you in the eyes

• once she becomes comfortable though, it becomes one of her favorite ways to spend time with you

• will never admit that she loves to be the little spoon

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

firefly -`✮´-

• never feels like she's close enough to you, no matter how tightly you hold her

• listening to your heartbeat helps calm and ground her after a long day

• if you gently pat her head, she'll fall asleep instantly because she feels so safe in your arms!

• if you kiss the top of her head though, she'll pass away instead

Hello! Considering how you now write for Chiori, and that I highly appreciate your Genshin headcanons... I think it's about time I grant you the honor of my first ever tumblr ask 👀

How would Chiori act with a S/O who is more on the sensitive side, the kind to not appreciate harsh words, or having people raise their voices at them? (totally not me checking my own hypothetical compatibility with her)

We know she can basically use her sass to roast people on the spot (not to mention her skills in graceful arcs making) in public, though during her SQ, we also get to see a somewhat softer side from her, when in a more private environment/with friends... But she also went "ugh eww ugh" when Xavier cried in joy during the 4.3 movie event.

So... that got me genuinely wondering. Feel free to add more characters if you feel inspired/like doing that (how their behavior with S/O would change depending of the setting being in public or in private?), and have a nice day 😊

(Genshin Impact) Chiori with a softer S/O

I am honored that I am your first blog you ask! Hopefully you enjoy!

Chiori honestly does not act that differently, even in private or when she has a S/O.

She has never apologized for being herself, and that would not change no matter what.

And if someone got with her, they would know that when they decided she was the person they loved.

Even if the person she spoke to was an absolute sweetheart, Chiori doesn't mince words in the slightest.

(Chiori) "...S/O, you are not going out in those rags. Here, let me pick something out for you."

She doesn't really hold anything back because she loves her S/O, and the fact they love her means she can unapologetically be herself.

That being said, she isn't heartless.

Chiori tries to phrase things slightly more gently. Such as:

(Chiori) "What I want for my birthday? Hm, I would like new tools...Keep it a surprise? Why would I do that when you can just get me something I like?"

Key word being: tries

She's at least tactful enough to not make them cry from her usual harsh words.

In private, she can get a little more handsy than usual.

She just sits on the bed and lays her head on their shoulders, taking a deep sigh.

(Chiori) "...You must be tired too. Go ahead and rest your head on me."

Her love language is definitely acts of service than words, which goes both ways.

She'd rather show why she loves her gentle S/O, than just tell them.

And that comes across in the clothes she tailors for them, never ever skipping on any expense.

(Chiori) "This kimono will match that perfectly with that pretty smile of yours, now quit squirming. I gotta take the measurements..."

Since they don't like anyone raising their voices at them, Chiori is the first one to step in to apply verbal or physical violence upon anyone doing so.

It doesn't matter who they are, if someone tries to pick on her sweetheart, than they're going to be picking glass out of their clothes.

It’s not your job to be likable. It’s your job to be yourself. The right people will gravitate.

hiya, i love ur content!! it brings me a lot of comfort :') this is my first time requesting anything so i apologize if it's a bit awkward!

could you please write aventurine, firefly and/or any other characters you want to add with a reader who's not used to intimacy or gentleness from being conditioned to suppress emotions and therefore always puts on a tough front and reader is also funny and makes jokes out of anything to hide how fragile they actually are? like character is playing with their hair, kissing beauty marks or scars, etc but reader just starts silently crying bc they're not used to it and it feels good?

thank you lots in advance and take your time!! (i once again apologize if it's hard to read or is awkward)

The Weight of a Smile

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Firefly x Reader, Established Relationship, Vulnerability, Emotional Intimacy, Comfort, Gentle Touch, Trauma Healing, Affection, Slow Burn, Supportive Relationship.

Warnings: Mentions of trauma, Emotional breakdown, Tearjerker, Past abuse or cruelty, Survivor's guilt, Self-suppression of emotions, Vulnerability and emotional discomfort, Emotional manipulation.

A/N: First off, thank you so much for the kind words! That really made my day 🤭💖 There’s no need to apologize at all—I'm really happy you're here and feel comfortable enough to ask something! And don't worry, it wasn't hard or anything!!

Tagslist: @themiddletenmasibling

You were sitting together in his private study, where the usual tension of strategic talk was replaced by an odd quietness between you both. Aventurine leaned back in his chair, a mischievous smile gracing his lips as he watched you attempt to mask your discomfort. You had always been good at keeping up your walls—always joking, always pretending you didn’t need anyone to care for you. But here, in the privacy of his space, something different was unfolding.

Aventurine’s eyes twinkled with amusement, as he toyed with a strand of your hair. He moved it between his fingers with an air of nonchalance, but you could see the subtle attention behind his gaze. It wasn’t unusual for him to make gestures like these—flirtatious, teasing, and unafraid of pushing your boundaries. It was how he played his game, after all.

"You know," he mused, still twirling your hair as though it were a prized card he was inspecting. "This color suits you. Almost like a perfect contrast to my adventurous nature."

You snorted, trying to push the strange wave of discomfort down. “Yeah, well, you’re the one with the roulette-wheel back on your jacket,” you quipped, always opting for humor to cover anything remotely vulnerable. "What is it this time? Risking your life on your fashion choices?"

Aventurine chuckled, clearly unbothered, but the moment he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss near the scar on your wrist—one you had never really discussed with anyone—something inside you shifted. You stiffened, trying to hold onto your usual banter, but it was different this time. He hadn’t just kissed a scar; he had kissed your pain, your history. The raw parts of you that you buried so deep.

His lips were warm against your skin, his usual easy smile slowly fading into something softer. “I’ll never let anything like this mark you again,” he whispered, just loud enough for you to hear, his voice oddly tender.

You felt the sudden rush of emotions you had buried for so long, the weight of his touch and words threatening to break through. You tried to hold it together—tried to make a joke or deflect—but the laughter caught in your throat. Instead, tears welled up silently, and before you could stop them, they began to fall.

Aventurine’s eyes locked onto you with surprise, but there was no judgment, no rush to make it stop. He gently cupped your face with one hand, his thumb brushing away a stray tear as he whispered, "You’ve always been so strong, haven’t you?"

It was the first time you felt seen in a way that was so unexpected, so gentle, that it made everything else—the walls, the jokes, the front you put up—seem irrelevant. His touch, as light as it was, anchored you in a way nothing had before. You wanted to pull away, to laugh it off, but you couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, embarrassed by the vulnerability. “I just… It’s a lot to feel. I’m not used to… this.”

Aventurine’s gaze softened further, and in that rare moment, he showed something you hadn’t often seen: sincerity. "You don’t need to apologize for that," he murmured, kissing the top of your head softly, the act far more intimate than you had expected. "You deserve the gentleness, even if you don’t know how to accept it just yet."

And as his arms enveloped you, you finally let yourself feel the warmth of his affection, the touch you hadn’t realized you needed so desperately.

Firefly sat next to you, the two of you resting after another grueling mission. The cool evening air wrapped around you both, and for the first time in a long while, you found solace in the quiet. She had always been a person of few words, but the silence between you felt comfortable—not the heavy silence of avoidance, but one that came with a quiet understanding.

Her hand moved gently to your hair, and you stiffened instinctively. You had never been good at intimacy. Growing up, emotions had been a weakness, and you had conditioned yourself to suppress them. Jokes and sarcasm were your armor, and vulnerability was a battlefield you had no intention of stepping into.

But there she was, her fingers delicately combing through your hair, the simple act of caring something that felt foreign to you. You didn’t know how to respond to such tenderness, and it made you uneasy.

“Your hair is like silver moonlight,” she said softly, her voice laced with the gentle affection she rarely showed. You couldn’t help but chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “Right. And you’re the moon itself. Always glowing, always distant.”

Firefly’s smile was almost imperceptible, but it was there—just for a moment—before her fingers continued their exploration. But as they grazed your skin, near the small scar just behind your ear, you froze. Her touch was slow, deliberate, and strangely soothing. Something about it made your chest tighten, a feeling that you didn’t know how to process.

"You’ve fought so much, haven’t you?" Firefly’s voice was soft, almost a whisper now. She gently pressed a kiss against the scar. “But not all battles have to be fought alone.”

You immediately felt the familiar urge to make a joke, to crack something clever to push away the feeling of her affection. But her words and the warmth of her touch—combined with the quiet sincerity in her gaze—stopped you from speaking. Instead, a tear slipped down your cheek, unnoticed at first by Firefly.

When she saw it, her expression softened. Without a word, she pulled you closer, wrapping her arms around you in a protective embrace. You weren’t used to being held like this, to being shown tenderness that didn’t come with strings or expectations. Your walls, once so rigid, cracked just slightly in the warmth of her touch.

"I'm not used to this," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, and for once, the humor in your words faded. "I don’t know how to… handle it."

Firefly’s grip tightened just enough, not in a possessive way, but as if assuring you that it was okay. "You don’t have to handle it alone anymore," she said quietly. "Not with me."

A silence settled between you two, but this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable. You allowed yourself to lean into her, feeling her warmth seep into your bones. And for the first time in a long while, you didn’t feel the need to pretend you had it all together.

The tears you had been holding back flowed freely now, but they didn’t feel like weakness. Not with Firefly there. With her, you felt like it was okay to finally stop pretending.

Everyday, I go insane about how little content there is of Baizhu (and when there is it's just so fucked up 😭 no shade to those who like it but how on earth is Baizhu tag on AO3 looking like just a list of trigger warnings in DMMD)

So I'm being the change I wanna see, his bday letter inspired me.

Baizhu's S/O helping him rest up

Reader here is gender neutral

Dating Baizhu had always been quite an interesting experience, but with time you quickly got used to his quirks. One of them being Changsheng telling on him when he's neglecting himself.

You were preparing a small surprise for his birthday, nothing too extravagant but still a sweet gesture for your beloved...

That is until you noticed the adepti slithering your way. Your attention went to her right away as she explained what's going on.

With Gui being out of commission and Qiqi caring for patients, Baizhu's fatigue- although his own doing- was something that worried you.

So while it wasn't like he was sick, due to his condition it sometimes feels like it's one and the same. Besides, if he'd listen to anyone that would be you... Sometimes.

And once he saw you with Changsheng around your arm he already knew what the snake was up to.

Despite your worried expression he only laughed and tried to reassure you that he was okay... Emphasis on tried because he looked like he was going to pass out any second.

You walked up to his desk and took his hands, placing away the brush he was writing with "You're impossible..." Was the only thing you said at the moment before he started with more excuses.

After all this season changing makes it so easy to get sick he was only trying to write up a list of remedies... Maybe make some sort of pamphlet or advertisement with his advice and some easy to make remedies and recipes...

Speaking of which he was just done thinking of one. He wrote down the special tea blend and yet he hasn't made it to check if his curse of bitter medicine touched also on tea as well.

As he kept on talking you decided to agree to taste test the tea, but only if he rested afterwards. That compromise he could agree to.

You went on to follow the written instructions and by the time you were done he actually fell asleep on his desk.

(If you're strong) Rolling your eyes, you pick up your lover gently. Trying to not jostle him awake and took him to his home which was pretty much a part of the pharmacy. His work really is his whole life...

Once he's settled in his bed you take off his glasses and look closely at his handsome face. Adoring every wrinkle and yet... Finding yourself worried upon looking at the dark circles under his eyes.

He probably forgot it was his birthday too, which wouldn't be the first time. You lay down next to him and tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear and just let him rest. It was still pretty early so you'd get to spoil him for his birthday later today anyways.

For now, you just enjoyed the silent moment. You wanted to be with him when he wakes up. As you thought about your plans however you tried to think of a way to make him follow you. Of course he's not THAT stubborn... But you never know what his priorities will be once he wakes up. Especially since today looked like "work priority" day for him.

(If you're not strong enough to lift him) You didn't like how he was positioned and yet you didn't know if you wanted to gamble waking him up and then trying to argue with him to sleep. Because despite his promise you had a feeling he'd think of a way to do as he pleased.

After a moment of hesitation you decided to trust your lover's word and woke him up. He apologized for his drowsiness and went ahead to ask you questions about his medicine.

You answered his questions quickly to change the subject to his promise. Which he remembered and his little nap made him aware of his lack of arguments.

He leaned onto you and together you walked to his home. Of course he didn't fall asleep the moment he laid down. The two of just talked for a while. Holding each other close until he drifted away.

Ruan Mei: a character study and attempt at understanding her.

Who is Ruan Mei? Why is she the way she is? Why does she do everything she does?

Ruan Mei is a very interesting and complex character who often gets misinterpreted by the fandom and goes under the radar as a "sociopath evil scientist" or "that one that wants to become an Aeon" or who knows what ales. Despite her popularity when it comes to the meta, you don't see people talk about her as often as other characters. That is a shame in my opinion for I think exploring characters who go outside the conventional of a good person so much that people call them "sociopaths" and "crazy" because of the way they do and understand things can be interesting.

So I'm gonna try to challenge myself by trying to understand her.

Note that this dissection of her might not be perfect as I'm coming to and trying to understand her deeper as I write this and I'm always open to being corrected and to further discussions (I'm human and I can be wrong).

Getting all of that aside, let's start getting into her:

Who is Ruan Mei?

Ruan Mei is member #81 of the Genius Society, a genius who specializes in biology/life science and a member in Herta's Simulated Universe project. Her casual research shakes the schools of biology but why does she research? What does her research mean to her? What does she SEEK from it?

To answer such questions, we must go to her roots:

Lil A-Ruan

Despite her not understanding love, she actually grew up in a loving household! Her exposure to science was from her mother, who by the game calling her a scientist in quotes, it is to argue that she might have been more of a passionate person who seeked to acquire knowledge and test knowledge of her interest rather than an actual scientist who contributed to her field. But I digress.

Ruan Mei's mother would take her scientific expeditions and thus showing her daughter the wonders of life, biological life to be specific.

When she took lil Ruan Mei to No Man's Lend, the wonder that she experienced as she saw whatever was in that ice that came undone matched nothing ales. The emotional high and fascination was such a big and exciting emotion for Ruan Mei, that it cultivated her interest in biology science to this day. The discovery of something new that goes beyond her calculations, breaks away the ordinary and norm.

Since her early days of life, the feeling that came with the discovery of something new was presented to her and that's what she sought to chase to this day.

But it wasn't this moment alone that shaped Ruan Mei into being so obsessive to break and bend the rules of biology and create for her own fascination.

Ruan Mei's understanding of love

Since she was a child, her understanding of love was different from the ones in textbooks. Despite growing up in a loving household, where she would get forgiven all the time despite making mistakes, receiving snacks from her aunt and being brought with her mom on expeditions and let in her lab, she doesn't understand love.

But why? This is where I struggle to understand, but I think it just might be how Ruan Mei is.

She grew up with the influence of her mother, a research and thus, along with just who she is at her core, learned to be stubborn and to question. To draw her on conclusions and understanding of things and not take everything in the textbooks at face value and as absolute facts. And so, at a young age, her understanding of love broke away from the one in textbooks.

Specifically the "formulae" in textbooks. Formulae is an interesting word to use, not definition, formulae. Formulae and Formula mean the same thing: it can either be a mathematical relationship or rule expressed in symbols or a list of ingredients with which something is made.

The fact that little Ruan Mei thinks the definitions of love in textbooks are formulas says a lot. Ruan Mei in general sees the behavior of organisms in their logical ways and struggles to understand the more emotional and non-rigid explanations of them.

and her grief: the death of her parents and the broken promise

Because of her struggle to understand love and her exposure to the biology of life, the death of her parents took a huge toll on her.

She didn't cry, for she understood that life and death are inseparable but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. After her funeral, as night fell, we are told she made clones of her parents. (which is insane to me, why are we not talking about this? Ruan Mei WTF!?)

If this happens after the funeral as the text suggests it means she has researched a way to clone her parents in advance for quite some time and years.

And her grandma made a deal with her parents, that this death failed to keep it. (her grandma is also hinted to be alive but absent for some time, maybe even before their deaths even?) A promise Ruan Mei was hoping for them to fulfill. But what was that promise?

We don't know.

But it might have to do something with their mortality. Ruan Mei comes from a planet blessed by the Abundance and that must have affected the way her grandma and mother saw biological life as well as her mothers interested in it that rubbed on Ruan Mei.

Maybe they wanted to find a way to be immortal? Who knows, I'm theories rn so don't take that as gospel please.

But whatever this promise was, her parents death and the inability to fulfill it upset and broke Ruan Mei deeply. That and her inability to protect them, whatever this protecting meant.

"Only science... never lets anyone down"

Her parents mortality and their death was a let-down to her, something like a betrayal. Their death HURT her so much emotionally that she shut down as a result.

Ruan Mei, as much as she seems cold and struggles to understand the department of emotions, feels VERY deeply.

She probably didn't grow up with many friends as it's not mentioned and her family boarded on a research aircraft and explored many worlds which probably didn't give her many chances to socialize with anyone her age. Her family and their love was the only one she had and understood (in her one way and definition) and the only people she had.

Her only having her family must have made her REALLY close and attached to them because without them, who does she have? No one. And they left her, they left her with this pain and loneliness and the realization that:

Life is fleeting, and getting attached to people will only bring the pain of having to face their mortality in the long run. Losing them and having to deal with the painful emotions that it brings. For such is the nature of life.

" "Attachment".... involves the insular cortex, which controls anxiety and pain"

She doesn't want to get attached again so she won't experience that same pain. That's the logical thing to do right? Because the definition of it says this so she must do opposite and logically she won't experience it and be fine...right?

Besides her family she probably never had anyone around, so she is fine with being alone as she doesn't know how it is to not be alone outside her family. Loneliness is the norm for her.

Ruan Mei's research: her addiction to wonder

Ruan Mei's reacher, her discoveries, bring her that excitement and wonder that she felt as A-Ruan for that first time. Besides her family, these discoveries are the only thing that make her happy. But she doesn't have much to discover at this point. She managed to do and find so much that she can only occupy her time with "ik what if" projects like recreating a Propagation Emanator clone.

But Aeons? Oh they are her biggest wonder of them all, the most interesting beings out there to her. So much that maybe by understanding them and what makes them what they are, she might even be able to become one.

And imagine how much she could discover with the power of an Aeon. All the answers hidden to her by the limitations of her mortal understanding of things. Things only Aeons could understand. Maybe she will finally find the answer to when "life" those truly end and maybe what "love" is.

Ruan Mei and her understanding of life

Remember her parents? Yeah she probably brought them back based on the start of her Myriad Celestial Trailer.

Which brings everything to a new perspective as:

1. how much are those clones actually her parents? for Ruan Mei and just speaking logically

2. does Ruan Mei REALLY see them as her parents? Maybe. From the way she wonders "when does "life" truly end?" she might see them as her parents. They got the form and probably(?) maybe(?) at least most important(?) memories so you could say they ARE her parents.

And if life can be recreated and brought back like that, when does it truly end?

Her parents being brought back but the wound of not fulfilling their promise to her grandma. Why do they exist at the same time? Was the promise for them to not d!e? Life is in quotes when she wonders "when does "life" end?" so she might not fully see them as her parents. But another form of life, "life".

"Life" is technically still life so when does it truly end?

---------------------------------------------

Now that we understand her alone, let's try to understand her interactions with others outside her family based on what we know

Her creations

Something that the fandom often criticizes her for is her relationship with her creations as she abandons them if they don't meet the results she wants or have any academic value.

Which is not something I'm gonna excuse because poor little catcakes :( but with what we know of her it makes sense.

She thinks their love is something inherently biological. She made them so they are gonna want to seek her comfort as she is their creator and mother but she doesn't see the more deepness of those emotions.

To understand Ruan Mei's way of seeing it:

Your mother for example. You love her right?(I'm sorry ppl with mommy issues) Because she is your creator so it's only logical to seek her love, attention and approvel right?

That's where Ruan Mei's understanding of love stops.

But no one loves their mother just because she created you and is natural as her child to seek her love. You love her much more deeply than that. And it's complicated to explain why and who right? But you do.

And that's what Ruan Mei can't understand from her creations, how deep their love goes, how it goes beyond its logical biological explanation.

Her creations should be fine. With time they are gonna grow and stop wanting love from her and be independent, as that is the nature of living things. Right?

Her relationship with other people

Another thing people are upset about in the MC's stead is her dr*gging them with the anti truth serum.

Which is bad and a very drastic measure instead of just telling us "can you not talk about me to others please?" but it also shows how much she distrust others

I'm not justifying, I'm explaining:

Based on all we discussed, the betrayal she experienced with others and her lack of relationships in life outside her family makes her handle human relationship in a uhm...very original way.

She made us forget about her because she thinks it would only bring more trouble than good if the MC remembers her and starting on a new slate and forgetting it again and again is the most efficient way and one that brings the least emotional turmoil when it comes to their relationship in the long run (attachment).

She only dr*geed us because she believed that's the best way for this relationship to be. (now the fact that she makes this decision for the both of us and doesn't tell or late us have a say in it is a whole other thing)

But she can also be kind and considerate.

Asta's voice line about her:

"I asked Miss Ruan Mei where I could buy a charm like the one on her sleeve — but I was surprised to learn she'd hand-embroidered it. I was equally surprised when she gave me my own hand-embroidered charm the next time she came to the space station. Her craftsmanship, like her research papers, is superb."

She took note of her wanting a charm like hers, and proceeded to bring one the next time she came to the space station even though she didn't promise Asta. She did it because she wanted to not out of a need to fulfill a promise made of courtesy at the moment, she didn't even promise. She remembered and did it and gave it to her.

As for her relationship with Herta is Screwllum? She doesn't want to be more than colleges. And she doesn't like having to socialize with them. Though she recognizes Herta for being similar to her on a deeper level, she doesn't want to connect with her.

Ruan Mei is too confused on her research and has too little trust and faith in others to want to form relationships of any kind.

--------------------------------------------------------------

To finally wrap this up:

Ruan Mei everyone ✨ *falls on the floor*

The silliest pookie ever who is definitely a green flag(trust) and will definitely come home (trust trust)

I hope this post can be of help in understanding her at least a little better and maybe even potentially sparking some discussion and theorizing about her (cause we can never have enough of that when it comes to fictional characters)

Again, this is my understanding of her and maybe I'm wrong on some stuff in here(...or maybe everything here is wrong 😭) so please correct me if so and don't please don't be mean (I genuinely tried, I'm only human)

Hellsing - Masterlist

Fluff = 🤍

Smut = 🖤 No TW = 🎀

Mild TW = 🔪

Moderate TW = ⚔️

Intense TW = ⚰️ Romantic Affection = 🥀

Platonic Affection = 🎨

Not Specified Affection = 🌈 Gender Neutral Reader = 💫

Female Reader = 🩰

Male Reader = 🍂 Headcanons = 📃

One Shot = 📖

Fanfiction = 📚

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alucard

- Relationship Headcanons (⚔️/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- Cuddle Headcanons (🎀/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- Falling In Love (🔪/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- x Playful!Reader (🎀/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- x Calm!Reader ( 🔪/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

- x Carefree!Reader (🔪/📃/🤍/🥀/💫)

Pip

- x Witch!Reader (🎀/📃/🌈 /💫)

- x Military!Reader (🎀/📃/🥀/💫)

New character list expansion

Hello people,

I can now write for the following characters 👀

Genshin Impact

Clorinde

Keqing

Shenhe

Honkai Star Rail

Sparkle

March 7th

Tingyun

As always, please check the rules/main post first before you submit a request, and have a nice day/night 🙂