Latest Posts by erlanddeity - Page 2

can i just say how much it hurts to read this?? this is a kid, barely 18 years, and caught up in an unfinished vendetta of the adults around him. you can literally feel how confused he gets as the chapters go on and when it gets to the climax and you read this... goodness, it gets real. like you understand how fucked up this all actually is.

i cannot stress this enough that he is a kid. a kid and he watched as the uncle he loved and respected and admired and held upto a standard, the only adult who seemed to truly understood jin ling, who saw how lonely he was and got him a puppy because he couldn't make friends, confess that he was the one behind so much of the disasters and deaths that occurred around him. not only that, but jin ling realizing that the smile his uncle puts on his face is fake. that he can lie so boldly and without a second thought. that maybe he lied about everything; maybe this person isn't who he says he is. all of this in just a matter of seconds.

and then we get to the foundation of his character. in the beginning, jin lings character was all about revenge. for himself, for the death of his parents. all he carried inside of him was hate. it also probably didn't help that jiang cheng was grieving for his sister and his parents at the same time while punishing any could-be wei wuxian. seeing these things, how could jin ling not hate the people who caused him to lose so much?

and now, there is all these conflicting feelings about who the true murderer is. he knows wei wuxian is the yiling patriarch and involved in the death of his parents but he's spent far too much time with him to hate him now and knows that it wasn't really his intentions in the first place. the guy is actually very likeable and has helped jin ling in all the times that they have met. wen ning who was the cause was merely a corpse out of control at the time. he also feels a lot of guilt towards it. as much as those things didn't excuse the murder of his parents, it wasnt reason enough for revenge either.

and jin guang yao, who he thought was kind and genuine. turning out to be a fake. all the likeness he has for his uncle in the past, should he turn it into hatred now? but he really can't. or rather, the past 16 years of positive memories are winning over the hatred of a minute.

so who should he hate now?

because he didn't deserve anything that happened to him. his parents didnt deserve it too. so who should he hate now? who should he exact his revenge upon? who should he blame?

he cries. because these are all heavy emotions and complex feelings for a kid. all the anger inside of him, the pain of being deceived, pouring out of him the only way it can. it is weak and jin ling probably shouldn't cry in front of so many people but he can't help it anymore. he doesn't want to let go of the hate he's nurtured for so long yet he doesn't have the energy anymore, nor does he have anyone to put the blame on.

and then there are those three words that just really tugs at my heart - "he felt wronged".

p.s: the scene where he is unable to look and listen as his uncle takes his last breath. chills.

jin ling is my fav character from mdzs and i just wanted to make a post to appreciate him. he is honestly so underappreciated. the way his character develops from just a really angry child to a child wounded by the actions of others is just *chefs kiss* he is so traumatized i wanna wrap him up in a blanket and hug him for eternity 🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

tfota be like:

enemies, to rivals, to held at knifepoint, to captor/hostage, to allies, to enemies, to lovers, to amiable work associates, to in a long-distance relationship where you are neither explicitly nor epistolarily involved with one another due to one of you being held at the bottom of the ocean against your will, to husband and wife, to EXILED, to in a long-distance relationship neither explicitly nor epistolarily involved due to one of you being completely unaware that your exile was a joke and the other of you having a treacherous letter-burning mother, to enemies, to "what letters??", to "jude nO!", to being in a long-distance relationship where one of you is captured by your murdering treasonous father and the other of you comes to save you but you kick him in the balls by accident because you thought he was a common ruffian, to uncommon ruffians, to being mistaken for a spy and shot, to falling from the ceiling onto your husband’s dinner party, to "that's my wIFE!", to slapper/slapee, to wanting to make her scream, to friends, to lovers, to making her scream, to snake, to chopping off his head, to hugging, to High King and High Queen of Elfhame, to family and Faerieland and pizza and stories and new beginnings and scheming great schemes :')

"your writing is so beautiful" "you're so talented" "your stories are amazing" "i love your poems, theyre so lovely and so well-written" okay but tell me what can i do to make it better. pick apart everything i have written and tell me which parts you don't like. ask me why this line is so weak compared to the paragraph above. say that you don't know what this means and that i should be more coherent. tell me that i should change this word, add this one because it sounds better, use a different phrase, cut out that line, change the structure, delete that paragraph. judge my writing with open eyes. please.

goddddddd i just LOVVEEEE when slytherins in any harry potter pairing fic BOND. like we were so starved of any good and decent scenes of the slytherins in the book and movies where they just. exist. and that's all they do. like no talks of voldemort or secretly practicing dark magic or spitting slurs at others. just the slytherins teasing each other with embarrassing things they came to learn about each other through out their 7 years together, mocking the way they would get a spell wrong, protecting each other from discrimination that comes with the label of their house, caring when someone gets hurt and JUST ABOUT HOW CLOSE THEY ALL ARE.

it doesn't even have to be romantic

like give me blaise, theo, and draco fucking each other up in snow ball fights. give me pansy and daphne dressing up for the ball, putting makeup on each other. give me marcus flint trying to handle the slytherin quidditch team because they're still kids and rebellious teenagers. give me draco sharing the sweets his mom sends to everyone in slytherin and asking his mom for more next time because crabbe and goyle gobbled up half of it. give me millicent and pansy talking about their dream man and weddings. give me draco helping pansy with her homework. give me the gang struggling to learn through their syllabus and staying up late at nights just talking to each other. just GIVE ME FAMILY-FRIENDLY SLYTHERINS

tell me ill be ok. that all this anger i hold in my heart will one day melt off. that it won't burn my bones or damage my liver or rupture my intestines.

and promise me love. that love will one day strengthen my heart. that it will cool off the burns and glue my liver together and fix my intestines.

im so tired of never being the first choice. im so tired of craving intimacy so desperately and never having it within arms reach. im so tired of keeping all this anger and sadness and confusion as well as joy and happiness and love inside of myself, never with someone to share. im so tired of reaching out and caring for others and never receiving anything back. im so tired of smiling and nodding and shaking hands while my back hurts and my waist feels empty. im so tired of crying myself to sleep, wrapping my arms around myself because i dont have anyone to share my bed with. im so tired.

*in a soft, broken whisper* but why not me?? why not me?? why couldnt it have been me instead? am i lacking something? was i not enough for you??? what did i do wrong?

to all the true crime fans out there: pls pls pls, take care of yourself and your mental capacity to handle the horrible things about the world! as someone who enjoys true crime, sometimes i feel like i consume too much of it and it effects my mindset and moods. i've noticed i get bitter and often think about gorey things, remembering strangely specific details of a horrific case. it gets so difficult to be happy when there is a voice in the back of your mind going, "remember that case you heard about yesterday? the one where the girl was tortured for 40 days?"

sometimes, its okay - and important - to take breaks from consuming true crime things. take some time for yourself, tune out the horrible stuff, play music, dance, hang out with friends, whatever you want!

this is not to say you should not listen to true crime podcasts or watch true crime videos or read true crime books. it is simply a reminder that though there are bad things happening in the world, and bad people roam the streets, there are plenty of other things to be happy about!

a puppy taking its first step, a couple getting engaged, a brother reuniting with his sister, someone getting their drivers license, someone getting their first ever binder, a girl being able to see her worth, someone finally asking out their crush, a man walking out of an abusive relationship, two best friends meeting up after ten years, someone rescuing a cat from a busy road.... and much more!!!

we know first and foremost that humanity can be evil and not deserving of life ... but i hope that we remember that, sometimes, humanity can be beautiful and cherishable.

all i want is for ranpo to pet my head is that too much to ask???

GINNN IS AKUTAGAWAS FUCKING SISTER!!72VD7DIDNDBDJ

WHAT THE FUCK

PLOTTWIST OF THE FUCKING CENTURYBSBDKXJJDN

Being a Mitsuya simp is preparing to be disappointed when they come out with a new promotional or merchandising art because it's a 50/50 of whether he'll be included or not

how dare they cut this cut this out??!?!!

writing a tokrev fanfic is so confusing cuz depending on which timeline you're writing in, there are some characters that are dead and some who are alive but BECAUSE of the timeleap element, those who are dead are alive in another and, for example, if you wanna know the date of their death you have to research a bunch more before you finally find it

when i die, yall better not say "she loved talking to new people" bish??? socializing would prob be the reason why im dead in the first place

School me, home me and alone me are three different people. Don't ask me to explain, I can't.

Neurodivergent writing culture is sucking at dialogue because I can barely hold conversations in real life.

stop

he's soooo cuteeeeeer

wtf

i am begging

if mitsuya is into rock, then draken is into rap

say it with me. your trauma is valid even if:

the ones who hurt you were/are traumatized individuals.

you are/appear functional.

it was not caused by a romantic partner or family member.

“it could have been avoided”.

no one knows about it.

“it’s not that bad”

other people had it worse.

someone went through the same experience and does not feel debilitated by it.

it occurred a long time ago / you feel just fine now.

the ones who hurt you have apologized.

be gentle with yourself today, folks. feel free to add.

my self esteem so low i dont even think im good enough for my favorite fictional characters

i really love this cover (is it called a cover??? art???)

its just so cooool!

draken's stance just asserts power. yet somehow its also amazing nonchalant he makes it seem. the look on his face is so sure, like he's so confident and self-assured. so fierce!!!!!! and that flag!!! i might be reading too much into this but the fact that it's draken who holds the flag reflects how much he really loves his gang. his family.

even in later chapters, in the future when toman had disbanded, he expresses how much he cared for it and perhaps would even continue or start a new one of given the chance.

(but like, boy, are you not cold?)

then we have mikey. the boss.

he's squinting his eyes like he's judging the entire city below him. idk if its just me but his posture seems kinda guarded, closed off. his shoulders look stiff. but aside from that, his little gloved hand is so cute!

and his outfit looks so cool!!!

our mc, takemitchi, paying tribute to erwin.

SHINZO SASAGEYO!!!

anyway... his face!! the determined furrow of his brows, the hardened look of his eyes, fixed lips and jaw - everything screams revenge about him. he really looks like he could kill someone. his face easily stands out to me more than the others just because of those concentrated, prominent features. absolutely powerful.

MY BABYBOY CHIFUYU!!!!

his pose is so cute!!! its kinda sly and gives him this air of mystery and yet it also makes him kinda timid and shy. but those eyes! oh my god. and he's staring straight at us!!

but aside from that, he's the only one sitting down and i wonder if thats purposeful or if he just wanted to pose that way. honestly he might've seen some character in his shojo manga pose like this and decided that he wanna do it too to be "as cool as the main character who is loved by the entire female population but is completely unaware of it and only has eyes for one girl whom he would do anything for." - his words.

“Takashi?”

“Yes?”

“You’ve read the latest chapter of my book, right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you, by any chance, remember anything from it?” You sniffle.

Mitsuya halts the balance wheel with a jerk of his hand, his foot freezing under the table at the same time. Did he hear that right? Did your voice quaver slightly and crack in the middle of that sentence? And did you just sniffle? He leans away from his sewing machine, the half-finished dress laying forgotten, and looks to you standing just outside of his work room as if hesitant to come in and his lips are immediately being pulled into a frown: your eyes are tinted scarlet and puffy as if you’ve just been crying, and, when he inspects closer, appear misty; your bottom lip is tucked in to stop it from quivering but Mitsuya still notices, and your fingers ruthlessly plucking the skin around your nails, a habit Mitsuya has come to know comes as naturally to you as breathing yet it seems to intensify when you’re upset or nervous, peeling a layer of skin too deep that speckles of blood pours out.

Mitsuya also scans you up and down, the messy attire you’re wearing isn’t anything new or unusual but there’s a bit of a dark spot near the hems of your shirt that wasn’t there in the morning. He’s sure because the shirt is his, and he was wearing it in the morning and he’s certain he hasn’t spilled any liquid on himself.

All of the evidence piles up to form an image in his mind that he doesn’t like.

When his steady gaze is back to your face, you cower under it, stuttering out an apology for disturbing him and taking a step to go back to your room. But Mitsuya calls for you to wait and you hesitantly do so. a foot ahead of the other.

Mitsuya stands up, swiftly crosses the room and wraps his arms around your stiffen form. “What happened?” he murmurs atop your head. “Tell me and I’ll help you. Unless you just want to vent, in that case, I’ll always listen. So, what happened?”

Silence envelops the room as he waits until you relax in his arms. It takes a while but Mitsuya is patient with you, whispered assurances falling from his lips that you can take your time and that he’ll always be here for you, and rocking you back and forth in a comforting rhythm. When he suddenly feels the bottom of his shirt being pulled, he knows it’s your desperate fingers curling into it as if to urge him closer into you. When you sag your shoulders and your body slowly melds into his and plant your face in his chest, Mitsuya tightens his hold on you.

“My laptop froze while I was writing.” You breath out against Mitsuya’s chest in a wavering voice. “I waited for it to work again and when it came back the last ten pages of my writing suddenly disappeared.”

Mitsuya purses his lips: you had worked a full one and a half month on that chapter, spent countless nights typing away at your laptop even though you had school the next day, researching whatever need be and asking questions to various people for their opinions on a topic or the chapter, including Mitsuya. You had even persevered through a writer’s block for that chapter. Mitsuya recalls a few days back when you jumped up and down in excitement because you had finished writing a particular difficult scene and could now move on to a much easier part. He knows how hard you worked for it and he hates that the universe could ever be this cruel to you.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers helplessly, breath fanning across your forehead and you let out a hiccup, burrowing deeper in his chest and concealing your face from his eyes.

He doesn’t flinch or pull away when he feels a wet patch beginning to form on his shirt, sticking against his warm skin. Nor does he squirm at the thought that he might have some snot on his shirt after this – he’s had far worse things on him. He doesn’t try anything; he simply lets it be, lets you cry your frustrations out and maffle about how unfair it is.

He wishes he could do something but he’s no expert when it comes to technology. He could barely figure out how to take a screenshot on his Samsung phone; he’d be hopeless with a malfunctioning laptop. And so, with a defeated sigh, he curses whichever god dares to pull a prank like this on you and expects to get away with it. But he can deal with that later. Right now, you need here and beside you is where he needs to be, comforting you and helping you.

Mitsuya softly calls your name. When you don’t respond, he lets you indulge in the embrace a few moments before gently pulling away. Your head remains down-casted, hands coming up to hastily erase any evidence of your breakdown, apologizing again for taking too much of his time just for a mess like you.

He frowns. Your name rolls off his tongue with a light yet stern tinge in his tone. “Don’t say that.” He is quick to halt your wrist and stop yourself before you potentially poke your eye. His other hand comes to swipe some hair pasted to your cheek behind your ear, then his palm gently cradles your face. “It’s okay if you take my time. It’s okay if you’re a mess. I don’t mind, I genuinely don’t. And if you need help, I’m more than happy to assist you. Do you understand?”

Your eyes widen for a second, a glazed disbelief reflecting back at Mitsuya but then it’s gone, vanished. And in its place, a brightness shines through in those eyes, the same one that Mitsuya took note of the first time you met and thought were beautiful and one that never fails to calm his heart every time he sinks into the depths of them. There’s a small bob of your head and Mitsuya knows he’s gained your trust and silently vows to never break it.

“Thanks, Takashi.” Your voice is hoarse but it sounds sweet to him anyway. When the corner of your lips curve upwards, a shy tilt, Mitsuya has to stop himself from leaning in and stealing them for a couple of minutes.

Instead, he shows you a tender smile. “Come on, let’s get your laptop checked and buy ice-cream. Then we can slowly re-write those ten pages, okay? I suppose I can also allow you to stay up late tonight – only a lit bit.” He hurriedly adds when your eyes gleamed dangerously. “I’m dragging you to bed when the clock strikes one. You need your sleep.”

And he needs your cuddles.

You pout and are about to protest when Mitsuya leans down and captures your lips into a gentle kiss. Your lips are soft albeit cold but Mitsuya doesn’t mind; he can feel the previous wet trails of your tears on his cheek but Mitsuya doesn’t mind; he can taste the saltiness of your tears in his mouth but Mitsuya doesn’t mind. The only thing on his mind is the feel of your lips against his, how long he’s wanted it and how much longer he wants to have it on him. His hand is still on your cheek and when you both pull apart, heaving, you lean into his touch, sighing.

“Okay.” You huff out. “I’ll sleep at one.”

Mitsuya grins and leans down again, but this time, his forehead meets yours. “Good.” He whispers the word, staring into your eyes as deeply as possible. “I’m sorry I can’t do anything about it.”

“It’s okay.” You whisper back.

“And I’ll always be there for you, okay? We’ll go through life together.”

You sprout a tired but sincere smile when he presses his warm lips to your forehead. And in that little two second kiss which should have lasted one second, Mitsuya decides to pour in all of his promises that no words could truly emphasize into existence: to always make times for you; to always be there for you; to always lend you an ear, a shoulder, his chest, literally any part of his body for you comfort and assistance; to always help you when you need him; to always guide you when you seem lost; to protect you from the cruel gods above and the equally cruel humans below; to always make all of your needs and wants his first priority and lastly, to love and take care of you until his body fatigues and is unable to handle more and his lungs shrivel up like a deflated balloon and his arms are sore and the soles of his feet are pulsing.

Mitsuya promises to love and take care of you eternally because he drinks a lot of milk so he has strong bones. He won’t ever tire.

That’s also a promise.

rip to the song that played in uniqlo. i wasnt able to listen to the lyrics clearly before it finished. may you and i be reunited in another world and be completed harmoniously

i need to know how the black dragons was formed

like how did shinichiro suddenly go "wait, i need to make my life more interesting" then thought that a gang was what he required

like did he see a movie about a gang and decided he wants it as well?? did he grow up in an environment where he heard or saw or experienced any gang-related things? did he ever tell anyone and no one thought "hey, thats a crazy idea. stop"???

and how did he come up with the name? did he stay up all night, writing down random words he thought were cool, watched several action movies, or just picked up on some english words by coincidence??? or did it come naturally to him as if it was meant to be?

and how the hell did he recruit people into a gang that just consisted of one man? like no offense to wakui but i genuinely find it hard to believe that wakasa and benkei looked at his weeping ass and thought "hmmm, yk what, i like you, i'll join your gang"??? ofc, wakasa and benkei joining meant their members did as well and thus their numbers grew, but did no one oppose? i mean i wouldnt wanna be under the command of a weak ass person. also, before wakasa and benkei, black dragons was just shin.

did he go around proclaiming he was the leader of the black dragons? people mustve thougt he was insane. and what about takeomi? as far as i can remember him and shin were childhood friends, so did takeomi never stop to consider what shinichiro was doing? was takeomi genuinely on board with whatever shin did? i mean, like, he wasnt ever like "hey man, you need to calm down, youve got a brother to take care of."??

i am genuinely curious because black dragons is a prominent gang but i feel like we know so little about it, which is the same case as its leader. i hope we get some information soon.

you ever look at the adults in your life and think how they went through the same shit you're going through and yet they're still here

like that doesnt make sense

another hc: luna and mana always give makeovers to nahoya and souta whenever they comeover. and i mean ALWAYS. they will braid their hair, try to brush it, straighten it and one time even managed to force a wig upon their head. souya doesnt mind it but nahoya literally vibrates in his seat because he hates it when someone messes up his hair.

mitsuya obviously has fun with this. he will deliberately place certain objects on low surfaces so luna and mana can easily find them.

they use their mother's makeup set to put lipstick on their lips, orange and blue eyeshadows, fake lashes (nahoya is scared shitless of those things) and blush and whatever else!

luna gets nahoya because she can talk back to him.

"next up: eyelash curler!"

"oi, you're not putting that anywhere on my face!"

"it won't hurt, you big baby."

"im not a baby!"

"prove it ,then."

mana and souya are literally the cutest. they work together to bring glam to souya's face. souya suggests some colors and mana tries to find it and when she cant, souya gently guides her toward it. they will laugh and giggle and have the most fun while their siblings on the other side are struggling to put on a bit of powder (it gets all over nahoya's face).

i have found another relationship to appreciate

these two big bros

i love love love to imagine how these two started to interact cuz theyre the older brothers in their family and toman. draken, chifuyu, baji, and kazutora all have the "only child syndrome", mikey is the middle child mess, we dont know anything about mucho's life and i think practically everyone ignores him and sanzu. so among the mess they found themselves in, these two created a tight bond no one ever expected.

their contrasting nature works: mitsuya with his polite way of talking, respects everyone unless they give him a reason not to, and generally is a friendly nice guy while smiley has a rough way with his language, disregards anyone who is not worth his time and once you peel back the layers is just as amiable as his twin. yet they share that responsibility of being the big brother, of taking care of their younger sibling/s. they get each other.

i imagine the day the kawata twins were introduced, nahoya and mitsuya locked eyes and nodded cuz they have that "older sibling" vibe to them that only the other one gets. they just went "i feel u, bro" and left mikey and draken to wonder wtf is going on.

they can also telepathically communicate!!! whenever one of them is having a rough time, the other acknowledges it and tries to destress them. nahoya catches mitsuya struggling to be strong and offers him a handkerchief, tells him its okay to cry it out. one day, mitsuya happens to stumble upon one of the kawata twins arguments and gently intervenes, explaining to souya that his brother just wants him to be safe and telling nahoya that he doesnt have to raise his voice and could also explain things in a soft voice because souya is not a three year old anymore.

i also would like to imagine these two eat together and just talk about the hilarious stuff their siblings have done or advice each other on how to get them to sleep quicker or what to give them for their birthdays.

"luna tricked mana into letting her cut her hair yesterday."

"seriously? man, shes got -"

"nahoya."

"confidence. shes got the confidence that every girl should have."

mitsuya sighs. "gods know what mom wouldve done to me if she saw half of mana's hair gone."

they just get along with each other and its a mystery to others. their bond became so close that they swore to take care of each others siblings in case something happens to them.

naturally, them being close also meant souya and luna and mana see each other very often. they get together every once in a while and although souya is older than luna and mana, the three of them are a pact and already have inside jokes. oh and hakkai's there too.

i have a very important question tk ask

is it kokonui or kokonoi?