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That Peculiar Moment 🙇

SnK Crack Theory Week Day 1: Historical Monday

Ymir Fritz, commonly referred to as progenitor of all Titans, is one of the most important characters in SnK. Her actions brought about the story as we know it today. It all started when she came upon “the source of all organic material” and consequently made a deal with the devil, which obtained her the power of the titans. However not much is not about her aside from a short origin story and the fact that she died 13 years after receiving the Founding Titan (this is later named the “Curse of Ymir”). Questions like what did she do in those 13 years before her untimely death, how much of her memories have been seen by the current titan shifters and has anyone actually died from the “Curse of Ymir” have been bothering the fans for ages, and yet  the answer is quite simple.

Ymir Fritz is a lizard.

Now I know what you’re thinking: Bro what? But hear me out.

There are many similarities between the reptiles and Ymir, such as appearance. Lizards have typically long bodies and small faces. And what does she look like, you ask? Well she’s got a pretty slender figure and small face, just as lizards do.

There is however the issue of the lizards’ tail that needs to be addressed, but there is a simple solution to that too. Notice how in all of her pictures she is always shown from the front and never from the back? It’s almost as if she was hiding something. The only picture of her that we have which isn’t from the front is the one above.

See how there is a bit of a bump in her dress right below her back? That is a clear indication that she is indeed hiding her tail underneath her clothing.

To further prove my theory,  the reason why no one knows what she did in those 13 years is because she didn’t do anything. Lizards spend their days sun-bathing on rocks, hunting for food or waiting for it to come their way, meaning she spent her days lounging around and wasting her titan power for hunting dem juicy spiders. Another simple solution to a complicated question is that her death was actually not because of a curse, rather it was from old age.

And in conclusion I present to you photogenic evidence that she is indeed a lizard.

It’s only a matter of time before Isa confirms it himself.

This isn’t the scene of a massacre, it’s just a vet’s office where a horse had a nosebleed. Horses breathe heavily through their noses, and their bodies contain a lot of blood, so a human nosebleed that soaks a couple paper towels equates to a horse nosebleed that looks like a crime scene. Source Source 2

Full image:

Viktor and Yuuri aren’t the only ones going to the Pride parade, Mila and Sara are attending it too.

Spread this fucker’s face around like there’s no tomorrow, him and the system put his victim through hell until she couldn’t take it anymore, all because they had powerful connections. This is why it’s hard for rape victims to report what happened, because the system is constantly failing them. 

“Megan was treated like a criminal by the police and the local district attorney. She was even threatened with felony charges for stealing Bunn’s gun, the money and breaking into his car. That is when her family decided that it was best for her to leave school and head home to Texas where she was from and that’s ultimately where she fell into a deep depression and ended up taking her own life. Everything and everyone in this case conspired against this young woman. She couldn’t find a therapist in town because everyone was friends with the Bunn family. The police were going to charge her, not Bunn because she stole money and a weapon to protect herself after her assault. She did the right thing and filed a report with the university, only to have them close her case as “unfounded.” What exactly does it take for a rape victim to believed?”

•MY FATHER’S REACTION TO SOME OF THE CHARACTERS FROM YURI!!! ON ICE• Above are the exact photos I showed him—

(1/?)

1) Yuuri Katsuki Dad, confidently: “Oh, I know him. That’s Yuri.” Me: “Age? Country?” Dad: “Japan…um…17?”

2) Viktor Nikiforov Dad, while laughing: “Umm…Yuri??” Me: “Ok, (laughing) age and country?” Dad: “Kasakstahn…19”

3) Yurio Plisetsky Dad: “That’s a…that’s a Jill. Jill’s 14” Me: “He’s a guy…they’re all guys…”

At this point, my sister, who had also seen yoi, and I are laughing hysterically.

Dad: “No way…ok, um…Jerome?” Me: “…sure, dad” Dad: “He’s got a big attitude…that’s and Australian. He’s thinking about throwing a shrimp on the barbie right now”

4) Otabek Altin Dad: “That’s-uh…Miguel” Me: “Ok lol where’s he from” Dad: “…Spain…he’s 19”

5) Jean-Jacques Leroy Dad: “That’s Spain’s(referring to otabek) brother…that’s Juan” Me: “Country?” Dad: “England” Me: “Age?” Dad, without hesitation: “37”

6) Chris Giacometti Dad:“Whoa, Justing Beiber 2008” Me: “Name and age?” Dad: “That’s-uh…that’s Justin, he’s 20. Like, tomorrow’s his 21st birthday and he’s planning to get VERY drunk. He’s gonna get…lit.” Me, dying of laughter: “And where’s he from” Dad: “That’s a Canadian if i’ve ever seen one…Mr…frosted tips…”

7) Phichit Chulanont Me: “Name, age, country?” Dad: “…Dora from Venezuela…he’s 13. And those are his hamsters, ee-nie, mee-nie, and mine-nie.”

Overall—

Me: “So, Dad, bonus points if you can tell me if they are gay or straight” Dad: “I’m gonna give you a little spoiler…they’re all gay…they’re figure skaters.” Me: “Ok, you have a point, but still…”

Yuuri- “gay” Viktor- “Gay” Yurio- “oh it’s jill, well i guess she’s straight” Otabek- “gay” JJ- “gay” Chris- “SCREAMING GAY…THE GAYEST OF GAY” Phichit- “…gay furry”

Me: “Ok, Dad, final and most important question. Are you ready?” Dad: “I’ve never been more ready” Me: “Two of the characters that are gay are actually in a relationship. Which characters?” Dad: “Yuuri…and…um, Viktor???” Me: “YES! YOU GOT IT!” Dad: “BOOM! NAILED IT! that’s worth 98% right there”

I think it’s pretty safe to assume that my Father has very little knowledge of Yuri!!! On Ice. If he got it right, it’s most likely because of him hearing my rants😂

“Do you ever get over having to come out?” (x)

I’m so lazy I haven’t even gone to the stairs.