ABAB (Assigned Berry At Bird)

My memory is a highly throwable imp that the dark lord cannot resist defenestrating any time they see it

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

You will use paint or snip tool as god intended!

A bad photoshop will always be funnier than an AI image no matter what

you've got 2 admit that the oft repeated command to "touch grass" in itself illustrates a great disconnect from the tru wholesomeness of the offline world. unless you meant a kind of wild grass, a lovely tassel cord rush or even the humble rattlesnake grass. but we know that's not what they mean. to the chronically online, grass = lawn and nothing more. and a lawn is an abomination on par with the worst brainworms big online has to offer. touching a lawn will not help you. You've got to go injure yourself on some swordgrass for god's sake

every night I think “wow this might be the night I go to bed early” and every time without fail I fuck it up

Awwww

Cats will sleep anywhere

I absolutely love how the first three are still letting some light through but the last is so chonkey that they blot out the whole thing XD