“I Do Not Desire Mediocre Love. I Want To Drown In Someone.”

I haven’t seen you in a while. Oh, how I miss your smile. Sometimes I start to pick up the phone to dial, but I haven’t seen you in a while. One day our paths my cross again. You’ll see all these roses that have begun to pile. Until then I will hope and pray for you, my love. It’s all I can do. I haven’t seen you in a while.

J.c.A

I wanna run away with someone in the middle of the night and go on adventures and see the world and eat at cheap truck stops and sit on top of our car and look at the stars and just be somewhere other than here. 

This is secret code used by 19th-century diarist Anne Lister to record her lesbian relationships! And underneath, and sample of her diaries. Anne wrote 6600 pages, or almost 4 million words of these diaries, giving us a treasure trove of information about her life, and one of the only first-hand accounts we have of female same-sex relationships in the 19th century.

Now you too can communicate with your friends in secret lesbian code!

To learn more about Anne, check out our episode and follow-up Christmas special!

I wanna run away with someone in the middle of the night and go on adventures and see the world and eat at cheap truck stops and sit on top of our car and look at the stars and just be somewhere other than here. 

“I love the handful of the earth you are. Because of its meadows, vast as a planet, I have no other star. You are my replica of the multiplying universe. Your wide eyes are the only light I know from extinguished constellations; your skin throbs like the streak of a meteor through rain. Your hips were that much of the moon for me; your deep mouth and its delights, that much sun; your heart, fiery with its long red rays, was that much ardent light, like honey in the shade. So I pass across your burning form, kissing you—compact and planetary, my dove, my globe.”

— Pablo Neruda, “XVI,” transl. Stephen Tapscott, from One Hundred Love Sonnets, The Poetry of Pablo Neruda, ed. Ilan Stavans (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 2003)

white sand, waves splashing, wind blowing

for a moment i got lost in the ocean’s ethereal beauty and i envied the moon for being able to see it everyday, i lingered in that state of serenity as the moon vowed its love for the ocean wishing i could do the same to you but i knew better than to break my own fragile heart like that as unfortunately the feelings aren’t reciprocal

— my heart

~ Clouds and stars and scapes of blue always veil the thoughts of you. Something deeper than desire has fallen amongst us, yet I feel that the promises of forever will inevitably stumble into a void between maybe and never. But if had the choice, I’d somehow bind our chapters into a story. I’d peer into tomorrow and maybe witness your wish to stay. Yet a part of me dares not to disturb the door of fate (or maybe I am too scared of what I would see beyond it)。

_lostinmyreveries