Emptyspaxes - Bisho

Me on the weekly 🤧

Nothing better than a good old post midnight meltdown because you're too afraid that you're not going to get enough sleep tomorrow cuz someone's forcing you to wake up early for physical activity and today's one of two days in a week that you actually can get solid sleep and even if you sleep for a decent amount of time (the bare minimum) you'll still feel ridiculously tired because your sleep quality has been shit the entire week etc. etc. etc.

This is so true. I believe people should do what they need to to feel more comfortable just existing. I wish I could use my aac app more often, but my parents refuse to believe that my speech issues are still as bad as they once where. I was nonverbal for over 7 years growing up and just recently been able to talk a little bit with my speaking voice but now it’s getting hard again. I don’t know why it’s hard again. I went to speech therapy for years and now that I’ve stopped it’s like everything is just getting worse.

I made a small set of communication cards to wear on a lanyard. It's nothing super fancy, just index cards with basic info and sentences on them.

I don't know if I'll ever need need them because I can usually force at least some words or short sentences out even when it's really hard. I'm not sure if what I have is severe enough to be considered selective mutism, or any other specific, diagnosable speech issue, because I can technically still talk a bit.

Still, I do have autism and anxiety that make verbal speech hard, and I'm tired of constantly pushing myself to speak. Just because I can talk doesn't mean it's easy for me, or easy for other people to understand. I find myself trying to avoid people in case they want me to talk. Often I have to stutter the same word or two several times before I can find the rest of the words needed to finish the sentence. I've broken down crying while trying to ask simple questions at school. My autism and anxiety are real and difficult even if they aren't "severe" enough to make it 100% impossible to speak.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's okay to accommodate for oneself even if you don't need need it, or can technically survive without it. You don't deserve to suffer just to look normal or be more convenient for other people.

If AAC makes communication easier, even if you can technically speak, do it! If using a mobility aid would make it less painful to go places, even if you can technically walk, do it! If turning on subtitles helps you understand videos, even if you can technically make out some of the dialogue without them, do it! You shouldn't have to wait until you're completely unable to do whatever you need to do before you make it comfortable for yourself.

Unless you're literally ripping that disability aid from someone else's hands, you're not stealing resources from anyone. And you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you're using disability aids. If someone else doesn't think you need it enough to deserve it, that's on them.

being a teenager girl is actually livinghell

Being semi verbal feels like my first language isn't English and I can barely speck it and form together sentences with mouth words (and text if overwhelmed or burned out enough) , plus misunderstanding people and struggling to understand social cues and etc its like I'm a foreigner in a foreign country (or maybe even someone from a different dimension)

Things I Wish I Knew Going into College

Listen up mother fuckers. Here’s the truth about college. No sugar coating, none of that cutesy shit. Here’s what I wish I knew before I stepped foot on campus.

When people say communal bathrooms aren’t that bad what they actually mean is people will leave their dirty underwear in the showers, used tampons, clean their dishes in the bathroom sink, and leave their explosive diarrhea everywhere. If you really don’t think you need shower shoes, think again.

If you know you are not strong in a particular subject, PLEAAASE seek help. Find a tutor or really good friends that are willing to help you because when you get a D in math because you didn’t seek help even though you knew you fucking sucked at math you’ll regret it because that stupid ass shit tanked your GPA.

You will have professors and TAs (teaching assistants) that give absolutely no fucks about actually teaching. If this ends up being the case, use your resources, learn to teach yourself, Quizlet is your friend.

People might seem so nice in the first week, but I promise you, when welcome week is over and there’s no more free food, they won’t ever look your way again. The ones who stick with you after that, cherish them.

The grind is real. Don’t expect to do the minimum and pass my friend. Because you will fail. I promise you. Sometimes you gotta stay up until 3AM because you’ve got two papers due, a speech to write, and math homework that you didn’t realize was actually due at 11:59pm the previous night. So if you’re going to college just to say you went to college, leave immediately.

With that said, you might realize that college isn’t even for you. And that’s okay. Just remember the thousands of dollars you’ve spent and make your decisions accordingly. But know that college is not the only way to be successful or make money.  There are lots of sugar daddies out there.

You might change your major 2392897 times. It’s honestly whatever. You’ll figure it out and it will be fine.

I know you’ve already heard this one but I swear it’s fucking true. You will not want to drag your dead body out of bed to go to a fucking 8am class. I don’t care if you’re a morning person. Just don’t do it. Trust me. Trust anybody who says this. 

Free stuff is the best stuff.

Sometimes you just need to sit down and have a glass of wine. Or see a therapist. Whichever works for you.

You don’t have to drink or do drugs, but you might feel pressured to. Do whatever you want but make sure you are always safe, smart, and with people you can trust and know will take care of you after you’ve had that 12th drink and can’t even stand up straight.

No one really cares what you wear, how you look or what you do because we’re all too busy trying to figure out how to do 20 hours of homework, 6 hours of studying AND fit in 8 hours of sleep. 

Sometimes lectures are so pointless that you could teach yourself in 30 mins rather than sit for 2 hrs in a lecture. I’m not saying skip lectures, but I am saying that the more time you have, the more sleep you can get.

You’re funny af if you actually think you’re gonna get a full 8hrs of sleep. Try again.

College is your chance to reinvent yourself. Be very careful who you choose to become. Just don’t be that person who corrects the professor or types really fucking loud on their macbook during every fucking lecture.

Listen, you can really do whatever you want to do. You wanna be hoe? Do it. You wanna party Thursday through Saturday? Do it. Weed Wednesday? Go for it. But you sure as hell better show your ass to class and watch that GPA.

Nobody likes a snitch. Mind ya business.

Don’t let anybody make you feel like you do not deserve to be there. Because they will try you and you can still get a ticket for fighting. Except this time you’ll be charged for assault. 

Don’t wear your favorite shoes to a party. Don’t wear open toes shoes to a party. The floors of a frat house or a house party are filthy. Don’t bring a purse, always use the buddy system, watch out for creeps cause they be out there.

Nobody cares who you were in high school, no one wants to know your ACT score or whether you were valedictorian. Shut up. Y’all got into the same damn college. No one cares.

If you’re going to bullshit something, do it well.

Do the readings because when your ass gets called on during discussion because your TA wants to know what you think about Mondrian’s take on contemporary art and you don’t know, you gonna look stupid as hell.

You might have a really cool roommate, or you might have a roommate that has sex with her boyfriend on your bed. There’s no in-between.

Bring A LOT of storage for your dorm.

If you see students napping in weird places, crying in the bathroom, or smoking weed on their dorm roof-top, it be like that sometimes.

Find a really good place to study. DO NOT study in your room because you associate your room with sleep so that’s what you’ll want to do instead of study If you study in your room.

Freshman 15 ain’t real.

SAFE SEX. THESE HOES DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

College sucks sometimes, but put your mental health first. Sometimes you gotta skip class to take care of yourself and that is perfectly okay. You do not have to justify yourself or your decisions to anyone.

Good luck. I hope you survive. But if you don’t, like I said, there are always sugar daddies out there. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk y’all. 

Things I wish my body would do:

1. Knock it the fuck off. 2. See #1

What’s happening to autistic people right now?

(Trigger warning for abuse, electroshock therapy, torture, and ableism.)

The US court has overturned the ban on shock devices being used against disabled students, predominantly autistic students in the US.

The shock device being legalized is called the graduated electronic decelerator (or GED). This is a torture device that is used to ‘correct’ autistic behaviors / symptoms. Autistic people are shocked for stimming, and for having meltdowns, ect. This device was made popular by a behavioral center (the Judge Rosenberg Center, specifically) that is infamous for its abuse and torture of autistic / disabled patients.

(Image ID: someone is holding their arm out and resting it on a table, with their sleeve rolled up. Attached to their arm are wires, which connect to a small cube device.)

This is what the device looks like. It sends electric shocks into the victim’s skin; the victim often being restrained and held against their will. This is torture. GEDs have been reported to cause intense psychological trauma, PTSD, and physical injuries.

In March of 2020, the FDA ruled for GEDs to be banned. (Although, of course, they were still illegally used at a number of places.) This ruling has recently been appealed, and today, the US court of appeals has re-regulated the law to stop the use of GED. Sounds great, right? It would be!

... If not for a huge loophole in the wording, which basically allows this torture to continue. This device is going to have continued use on autistic students in order to “correct their behavior.”

“So.... What can I do??”

Great question! You can:

Listen to and boost autistic voices to spread awareness

As-of now (July 7th), autistic activists are trying to get #StopTheShock trending on Twitter, so Tweet out the hashtag if you have Twitter

If you’re in the US, email / call your legislators

Sign this petition if you’re in the US

Follow this case and look out for updates

If Autism Speaks (known ableist hategroup) says anything about this, DO NOT BOOST IT

That’s all! Thank you. Reblogs are very appreciated!!