Being A Teenager Girl Is Actually Livinghell

Ranting

I feel really sad lately. Feel almost alone because I feel like no one really understands me. I try to make friends online, but most people just blame me for things out of my control or just get upset with me because I struggle to take jokes or anything. I have two friends I really care about and I should be happy about that, but when they are busy I just feel even more alone. Feel like I'm almost dependent on other people which is bad and I need to fix that. I think I need to find happiness in myself, but it's so hard when you live with so much guilt and trauma. Feels like my own mind and skin is filthy and can't get clean so I crave other people to be around so I can take my mind off of it. I'm sorry to rant about this, I just don't know what else to do and wanted to get it off my chest and throw into void. I just feel scared to talk about my issues sometimes cause what if I word it wrong and someone gets mad at me? I'm sorry if this seems like a pity me or something, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry because feel sad, alone, and like I'm a bad person.

my identity doesn’t have to make sense to you. when I have the energy, I don’t mind explaining, but at the end of the day it doesn’t actually matter if you understand or not. all that matters is that you accept me and respect me for who I am

A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.

Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.

What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.

Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.

What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.

Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.

What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.

Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.

It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

-Xanthe

It’s never too late to learn the right way to do things: button sewing technique via imgur → more…

Me on the weekly 🤧

The last day of Pompeii by Karl Bryullov

i do not own this video, but i feel like it’s something you guys would find useful! all credit goes to tik tok user @/csellyyy!

I don’t mean to be promoting this but I want this...

“i just had a realization. the first time i had anorexia– the worst time– i lost 15 pounds monthly, just by eating 800 calories and doing weight lifting daily. 15 pounds a month. i went from 143lbs to 93lbs in just a week over 3 months. i didnt even do all the crazy things i do now, and the weight still melted off. and thinking back, i realized, starvation is not the answer.

it’s consistency.”

—my late night thoughts🌿