My Top 3 Books Of 2022

Miss Havisham, the lonely heart.

Great Expectations (2011) BBC

Asa Butterfield and his co-stars.

The End of the F***ing World (Season 1)- Review

We want to be in control of our lives. That's why we love shows like "The End of the Fucking World", where teenagers can finally leave their toxic households and go on the run.

Honestly, at first I found the plot stupid. The first episode, too, seemed pretty boring. The only reason I continued to watch was "Alex Lawther". I love him. Like, REALLY, love him. And the more it advanced, the more I liked it.

The best thing about the series is probably the cinematography and the music. They'll make you vibe and chill with it. You'll get some funny feelings too.

"The girl who felt too much and the boy who felt nothing."...The romance was cute. It builded slowly by the time. I appreciate that. It is almost like a modern day Romeo-Juliet. And honestly it couldn't have been better.

Sometimes it's hard to see through other people's eyes. Sometimes we misunderstand our parents. Sometimes we are misunderstood by them. Misunderstanding is a great flaw of life. It's like when life can't find any drama, it makes one.

Overall, the whole series was neat. But I wish they didn't make the second season. Because, though shocking, the ending was one of the best. I'm still gonna watch the second season though. Again, because I love Alex. <3

And also, I think, Alyssa looks super cute...

BARBIEPOSTERS +HYYH (insp.)

Noona! Please! Help! - Part 3

Fandom: BTS Characters: Younger Brothers BTS and Elder Sister Narrator Genre: A Little Dramatic and A Little Comedic Word Count: 1.1K Words Warning: Angsty (It’s me), mention of child abuse, self doubt, did I mention angst? Note: It’s a siblings AU story of BTS with the narrator as their elder sister. I tried to write something different from what I usually write about. I had fun making this. Hope it makes you feel good too. Happy Reading Everyone :)

Summary: Her little brothers can’t attend to a single task without her help. Be it a dance competition or asking out a girl for a date, they always seem to be finding everything too hard to go through without her by their side. ‘Our lucky charm’; that’s what they like to call her. But what if she turns out to be a misfortune in different situations in one single day?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - More to come

Who Will Pay the Rent?

9:24 a.m. 1st September, 2015

“Just a few more minutes left.” Yoongi sighs heavily, “you could have easily saved the bother to come here, today.”

“What happened?” I ask, taking the empty seat beside him. “I thought you said that we’re winning today. What’s up with that long face?”

“It seemed like that at the first half.” Yoongi nods towards the field, “as you can see, the tables took a 180 degree turn.”

Honestly, I don’t understand a thing about basketball. It is better to just take Yoongi’s words as they are. I ask him the important question now, “how much do you owe them?”

Yoongi intentionally avoids eye contact and keeps looking at the match without a reply. I notice that he is sweating like crazy. I understand now that it is not just about the game.

“Don’t tell me you have to sell a kidney to pay them.” I jokingly say to which he doesn’t budge. I grow agitated. “Yoongi! C’mon, tell me what it is?”

He sighs and says, “It’s just worth my rent, that’s all.”

“Your rent?” I ask, “like for the month?”

Yoongi nods and stays silent. We both remain silent for the rest of the game. I wish I could offer to help him. It is most likely that he will not accept anything directly from me. I, on the other hand, am not in a place to help him either.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I quickly take a look at Jimin’s message saying he’s going inside the exam hall right now. I write a small “good luck” reply and put my phone back inside the pocket.

Yoongi starts to stand up from his seat, “Let’s get out of here! It’s not like anything can change in the last few minutes.”

I nod and follow him out of the stadium. He asks me if I want something to eat to which I shake my head.

“Noona!” Yoongi says, “Stop worrying about me. It’s not like I’m going bankrupt or something. It’s just some stupid amount of money, that’s all.”

“So,” I start hesitantly, “who will pay the rent?”

“I’ll manage that somehow, Noona. I always do.”

Yoongi’s the one among us who’s the most desperate to make a lot of money. That’s why he goes into these betting games and all. I once heard from Jin that he had found Yoongi starving himself because he lost all his money on some games and Jin had helped him that one time even though Yoongi refused to be helped. I don’t really approve of his ways but who am I to stop him? I did not raise him. I don’t even understand his ways of thinking.

I still feel like I should advise him to stop this nonsense and try something else. Something permanent. He is a genius and I know he will be able to figure something out if he wants. But I also feel like today is not the time to lecture him on life. Not when he’s already so stressed about it.

I decide to head to my next destination. I am not going to leave Yoongi in this state. So, I ask him, “If you don’t have to be anywhere, will you come with me?”

“I can manage some time. Where will you take me, Noona?”

“We’re going to meet Jimin.”

Jimin’s exam will be finished at around 11 a.m. So, Yoongi and I wait for him outside the hall where there seems to be a huge crowd of the guardians of the other students. I mentally pray that Jimin will be able to outsmart them on his test today.

“I never understand Jimin’s appeal for education.” Yoongi says.

“I think it’s the same one as yours.” I offer an explanation, “Come to think of it. At the end of the day you both want to win at life. By elevating your status. Either with education or with money.”

“You know what, Noona?”

“What?”

“I hate it so much that you’re always right!” There is a faint line of smile on his face as he says the last sentence.

“Yoongi” I suddenly feel an urge to talk to him seriously. Yoongi barely talks about his real issues.

“Noona?”

“I’m asking this because I’m really worried about you, okay?”

Yoongi frowns, “I think I know what you’re going to say. I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I really am. I’m sorry, Noona!”

“Oh no, dear!” I quickly add, “You don’t have to apologize. I understand that you’re going through tough times.”

“Noona!” Yoongi looks at a distance as he speaks, “Do you remember ma’s face? Like, not the one as we see in her pictures. The face of her when she was sick. That face she had before she could finally rest after years of pain she went through.”

I don’t know why Yoongi is suddenly bringing this topic. Is he really missing ma all of a sudden or just trying to change the topic? Yoongi glances at me for a second and I can see his eyes glistening.

“If only I had the money, I would have taken a bus from school to come to see you.” Yoongi sniffs, “he wouldn’t let me go no matter how much I begged him to. Said it was a ‘waste of good money seeing some sick people’. I don’t think I can ever move on from the fact that I never saw ma and pa again after I left that house.”

“Yoongi!” I can barely make myself audible.

Yoongi never talked about the times he spent with our uncle who took him in when ma fell sick. Yoongi was only four at that time and he was the only one who never came to visit us occasionally during the five years when ma and pa were still alive. When I used to ask pa about it, he would always say that Yoongi was too busy with his school. I only got to see him first at their funeral. Only after Yoongi left uncle’s place for good when he was finally eighteen, we started meeting almost regularly.

“I’m sorry, Noona, I turned up this way.” Yoongi looks at me, his eyes bloodshot, “I didn’t really have an opportunity to be any better than this. Of course, I won’t use this as an excuse. I’m all grown up now and I’m trying to be more responsible. I swear, Noona, you will be proud of me like all the rest of our brothers one day. I will make that happen.”

“But I am proud of you!” I say, “I am proud of how strong you are. I am proud that after all those shits you went through, you still grew up to be such a kind and sweet soul.”

“Thank you, Noona! But you don’t really have to cheer me up.” Yoongi shrugs his shoulders, “I know me.”

“And I know you too.” I slowly move towards him and pull him into a hug, “I see you, Yoongi. I see you!” I slowly pat him on his back as I can sense him fighting the urge to hug me back.

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My Masterlist

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Miss Lupin

Summary: Emma is the daughter of Remus Lupin, who was born at the same time as Harry Potter. Lupin’s wife had been killed by the death eaters just after the birth of her. So, Remus decided to keep her a secret to protect her from Voldemort and sent her to a muggle family to be raised as a muggle. Now after a long time, Lupin decides to pay her a visit.

Characters: Remus Lupin and Emma.

*******************************************************************************************

I was at the beach in the middle of the night all by myself. My parents were fighting again over something I couldn’t figure out. So, I decided to take a break from my studies and came out to the nearby beach for fresh air.

Nobody from my family has any interest on reading or anything of the sort. I, on the other hand, is a bookworm. I feel a connection between me and books. However, the family I call my own is not actually my real family. I was delivered to my parent’s (who doesn’t have their own kids) doorway one night with a letter saying to keep me well. They had done their best.

The environment was so fresh, it calmed my mind. I kept looking at the sea blankly. Suddenly I felt a presence behind me. I looked back quickly and found a man smiling at me.

The man had scars on his face and his smile didn’t seem to be a friendly one. I suddenly remembered that I was alone at the beach with no one else. Fear got into me like a flash.

The man might have sensed it. “Don’t worry, child.” said the man “I’m harmless.”

“Who are you?” I asked rather loudly.

The man smiled again. This time it felt comforting. “My name is Remus, if that’s what you meant.” said the man.

I kept quiet for I knew he would say more. The man took some steps towards me and said “I hoped you were fine with them.”

“With who?” I asked, really confused.

“Your parents.” said Remus.

“I am fine with them.”

“Really?” the man raised his eyebrows “But they are not your real parents, are they?”

“That doesn’t matter to me as long as they love me like I was one of their own.” I said, frowining “How did you know that?”

The man completely ignored my question and asked another one instead “Don’t you miss your real parents?”

“I don’t remember them at all, sir.”

“Do you want to meet them someday?” the man said hopefully.

“No, sir.” I said sternly.

The man sighed. “I’m glad that you are actually happy with your life. There are more complicated lives that people are living.”

“But...” He cut me shortly and said “I better go now. Good-bye, Emma.”

I looked back at a shouting. “My God, Emma. You’re here. We were looking for you everywhere.” my mother came running to me, my father behind her.

I turned to look at the man, but he was gone.

Who was he? How did he know so much about me? Could it be that he was my guardian angel looking after me?

*******************************************************************************************

Whom I went for VS whom I stayed for... <3

Red Hope! - Part 3

Specially requested by @lelewright1234. Hope you enjoy!

Note: This work is totally fictional and has nothing to do with BTS on real life. I mean no hate toward any person in particular. This plotline was requested. Though I personally hate bullies, I still believe there is hope for everyone.

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 × OC (Leah) Warning: Bullies, hospital, drinking, swearing, recurring nightmares, car accidents, blood etc. Genre: Angst Summary: Since Leah is in coma for months, the guilty consciences of the boys are eating them up...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 (Complete)

*************************************************

“Which one do you want this time?” the florist asked his regular customer.

Jimin looked around for a moment, “Those pink ones over there.”

Jimin had been visiting Leah regularly. Whenever he was done with his dance class every day, he would go to the flower shop to buy new flowers for her.

“She can’t even see those flowers you give her.” Hoseok once told him.

“I don’t care.” Jimin had said, “As long as I’m capable of, I’ll do it. So that whenever she wakes up, the first thing she would see are the beautiful flowers by her bedside.”

Hoseok didn’t argue further. Jimin had been bringing flowers to Leah for the past three weeks. He had also asked Hoseok many times to go with him. But Hoseok never visited her, not even once.

When Jimin went inside Leah’s room, he found Nina sitting beside her.

“Oh! It’s you.” Nina said, “new flowers again?”

Jimin nodded. He went to change the flowers that he had brought yesterday from the vase. Though they were still fresh as new, Jimin would still change them every day.

Nina sighed, “What are the uses of them now? You had never cared about her when she was healthy.”

Jimin didn’t answer. He had asked the same question to himself too. He had been regretting it every day. Only if he knew how much it would hurt him once she was gone, he would have never been terrible to her.

“What are they called?” Nina finally asked.

“Garden Primrose.”

*************************************************

It had been more than two months since Leah had saved them from the accident. She was still in a coma. Nobody knew when she was going to come back or if she would ever come back or not.

Hoseok had thought about her quite a lot. Every time Jimin had asked him to go with him, he had refused. Seeing her still body would be too overwhelming for him.

Today, Hoseok had got up his courage to finally visit her in the hospital. As he looked at her motionless body lying on the bed, his eyes filled with tears. At that precise moment, he had a flashback.

Leah was dancing to her favorite music that day. Hoseok had been watching her secretly. He was awed by her skill. “How smooth her moves are!” he had thought.

Before she had ended her dance, Jimin came to stand beside him. Hoseok felt uncomfortable. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to compliment her. Instead of encouraging her for the performance, the boys had joked and laughed at her that day.

Remembering that painful memory, Hoseok couldn’t control his tears. He let them fall. He leaned toward Leah.

“I’m sorry for not appreciating you enough.” Hoseok whispered, “You are truly a gem.”

*************************************************

Min Yoongi had been drinking a lot lately. His mind was racing. He had never felt so helpless before. The only easy way to calm his messy brain was drinking.

He was the worst among the boys. That was what Leah had once told him. He had laughed and said that he was proud about it, that it was rather a compliment.

He remembered how innocent he used to be once. How he had hated all the bullies in his elementary school. He had been scared of the world and hated everyone. But since he had friends, he started to feel more confident.

“How did this happen?” Yoongi questioned himself, “since when did I turn into such a monster?”

He knew he couldn’t undone the damage he had already caused her. He couldn’t even apologize. Seemed like God had taken away that chance from him.

He stroked the piano keys really hard. “Shit,” he swore when his hand banged on a key and it hurt.

He took the bottle beside him and drank. “Guess I’ll just have to drink away all the pain.” He thought.

*************************************************

“Shit” Taehyung had another nightmare, “shit, shit, shit.” He swore while kicking his bed sheets and throwing away his pillow.

Namjoon woke up with a start. “Taehyung,” he called, holding him firmly on his grip. Taehyung opened his eyes wide with full of terror.

“It’s just a dream.” Namjoon reassured him, “You’re alright.”

Taehyung looked confused for a while, trying to process his surroundings, his breathing heavy. As the reality kicked in, he buried his face on his hands. Then he started to sob.

Namjoon brought a glass of water and stood beside Taehyung. He didn’t know what to say. The nightmares were getting more frequent. Maybe he should suggest Taehyung to visit a psychiatrist. Maybe they all should see a psychiatrist. But he wouldn’t dare mention it now to Taehyung. Not when he was in this state.

When he calmed down, Taehyung took the glass and gulped down the water. Then he stood up and walked toward the door.

“Are you going out for fresh air?” Namjoon asked. Taehyung nodded and went out.

On his mind, he was replaying the recurring nightmares he was having since the accident. The contents of the dreams were always similar: The car hitting Leah, her motionless body, the blood coming out of her head. But the thing that terrified Taehyung the most was the blood on his own hands.

Taehyung shivered at the thought of it. It felt like a punishment he was suffering for his past actions.

*************************************************

Namjoon was worried. He worried about himself. He worried about the boys. But mostly, he worried about Leah. Given the chance, he would have gladly taken the place of Leah, saving her and the boys that night. He could have easily given his own life to save theirs.

But karma was a bitch. He knew that they deserved the suffering. They had troubled her enough. Now it was her time to rest while they endured all the pain their guilty conscience had to offer.

It was getting unbearable for Namjoon to see Taehyung waking up from yet another nightmare. Yoongi had started drinking again, the only solution he seemed to have found. Jungkook had stopped going to the school. Even though others were trying hard to act as if everything was fine, he knew deep down they were all hurting.

Namjoon had hard time accepting the situation at first too. But the more he had thought about it, the clearer it became. They had been terrible to Leah. It was only natural for a kind hearted girl like her to smack some sense into them.

Namjoon sat on his table. He took out a pen and a paper. Then, he started to write.

This song was different. He didn’t need to think hard about the rhythm and the lyrics. It was all coming naturally to him. He wrote and wrote until it was done. He was satisfied with the result. The song had everything he wanted to say to Leah. It was a perfect apology.

“If only we could ever sing to her.” Namjoon whispered to himself.

*************************************************

Jungkook hadn’t gone to school for the past two months. Jin had called his teachers to let them know that Jungkook was having a really hard time since the accident. They understood. Or at least that was what they said.

Jungkook spent most of his time on his room. He wouldn’t even come out to eat. Either of his hyungs would bring him whatever was necessary. Without necessity, he wouldn’t even talk to them.

Jungkook felt anger within himself. Some parts of it was directed toward himself. But there was another part of him who had been blaming the other boys.

He remembered the first day Leah had joined during their elementary years. She had been very friendly and kind towards all of them. But all she had ever received from everyone was laughter and teasing.

She had even helped Jungkook with his homework. She had defended him when the teacher had mistaken him for another naughty student in class. Jungkook had liked her a lot. He really wanted to be her friend.

He felt like it was a mistake, bringing her to meet his hyungs. They had teased her and laughed at her that day. Jungkook was being a coward. He couldn’t defend his friend the way she had done him. Instead he had taken his hyungs’ side and bullied her along with them.

Jungkook was angry with himself and the boys.

*************************************************

Jin had been taking care of the boys. Whether they were aware about it or not, he didn’t care. He had been doing it since the very beginning. Being the oldest, he felt like that was his fate.

He had taken Jungkook to school every day when all of them had moved on to the high school. Jungkook was the only one left in the elementary school. He had been cooking for every one with Yoongi’s help. He had never shown his struggle. He had been strong for his boys.

Even now, during this difficult time, he had kept his pain within himself. He was still trying to show his positive side so that the boys would not break down. He was doing everything he was capable of.

He remembered why the bullying had begun in the first place. Jungkook had told them about his new friend in school. He was very excited for them to meet her. But that scared Jin.

Leah, being a black girl, was being bullied by everyone. Jin feared that they would start bullying Jungkook too, once he became friend with her. Jin felt like he had to protect the youngest. It was him who gave the idea of teasing her for fun. The boys had agreed since he was the oldest. What could he do anyway? After all, he was only 14 years old back then.

But now, Jin felt the opposite. He felt like he had lead the boys into doing something terrible. He felt like he was to blame for everything they were going through. He felt like Leah would never forgive him.

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My Masterlist

Happy Birthday to my Bunny Boy

This Jimin

This Jimin is sweet. This Jimin is precious. This Jimin is adorable. I must protect this Jimin.