‘Demian’ By Hermann Hesse - Book Review

Maze Runner Book Series Review

I’ve just finished reading the The Maze Runner Trilogy (The Maze Runner, The Scorch Trials, The Death Cure) by James Dashner. Now I would like to share my opinion about it.

While reading, I felt like I was one of the Gladers. I’ve experienced all the adventures. In the first book, I felt excited as well as fear. In the second one, I felt a new strength took over me. In the end, I felt really exhausted after the journey. My heart was broken and I remembered everything I went through with them.

Reading these books at this time hits different. I kept wondering about the life without a family. How hard it must be to survive in such a devastated world. Anyway, I also feel like it could be possible if you have such loyal friends.

I specifically liked the relationship between Thomas, Newt and Minho. This trio made the last book more emotional. My favourite parts were when Minho literally said “I love you” to Thomas and of course the “Please Tommy, please.”

The amount of time I wanted to end it all...

But then, I said to myself, "Had Suga ended his life when he was in high school, he would not have been here."

"Have patience. Your time will come."

Haha! Jokes on me...

Did I really think I'd be free after mid?

I’m Back...

I am attending my last exam tomorrow. Soon, I’ll be posting regularly again. At least, I hope so…

These are what you’re gonna get before long:

The last part of ‘My Guardian Angel’

Fast updates on the series ‘Noona! Please! Help!’

Slow updates on the series ‘The Other Side’

Personal review on Jin’s single ‘The Astronaut’

Short drabbles, if I have the time and mood

Red Hope! - Part 6

Specially requested by @lelewright1234. Hope you enjoy!

Note: This work is totally fictional and has nothing to do with BTS on real life. I mean no hate toward any person in particular. This plotline was requested. Though I personally hate bullies, I still believe there is hope for everyone.

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 × OC (Leah) Warning: Bullies, OC suffering from amnesia, racist comments etc. Genre: Fluff and Angst Summary: Leah’s having her best moments with the boys. But would their relationship stay the same once the whispers and rumors start?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 (Complete)

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It had been some months. I was getting used to the new life without my old memories. I still had some flashbacks. But most of them were confusing and I couldn’t make any sense out of them. So, avoiding them were better. So far, everything seemed to be okay.

I was showered with love and affection from my family. My step father would bring me chocolates, ice creams and other snacks every day when he returned from the office. My mother would often ask me what I wished for dinner.

But the boys were a little too extra. They had been pampering me with flowers, gifts and attention. It was cute but embarrassing at the same time. I would put a few words on their behaviors.

Jungkook would not let me sit with Nina in the class. He would always save a seat for me beside him and Nina had to sit behind us. He would follow us everywhere from the cafeteria to the playground. Slowly Nina started to like him too and now we were kind of a golden trio of our class.

After school I had dance classes at evening where I would meet Hoseok and Jimin regularly. They would come to watch me perform whenever they were free. As I was always late to leave they would wait for me after their practices were over and walk me to my house every day.

Jin would frequently send me special foods that he cooked with his master-chef quality. I would sometimes go over to their house with Nina for dinner. He would also teach me how to cook different items. But cooking with Jin mostly ended up with both of us being frustrated; him, for not being able to teach me and me, for being too clumsy to do it.

Namjoon would lend me his favorite books. We would often sit together and read. Those times we wouldn’t really talk much, but being around him was somehow comforting.

Whenever I was looking forward to having some fun, I would always go to Taehyung. On the contrary, whenever I was feeling down and didn’t want anyone being too loud, Yoongi would be my comfort zone.

Somehow, the boys had grown on me by the time. Now I felt like I wouldn’t be able to be apart from them at any cost. I knew, I would gladly sacrifice myself to save them again just like I did before.

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I was aware about the fact that some of the students didn’t like me and they talked behind my back. Nina had suggested me to avoid them and so I did.

But one thing didn’t go unnoticed. Almost everyone would call me and the Bangtan Boys ‘Snow White and the seven dwarfs’. I knew they were probably teasing me because the boys were giving me a lot of attention than needed. But one day I heard a group discussing the matter. “Think about the irony,” one of them said, “a black girl being the Snow White.” Then they started to giggle.

I wouldn’t say that I didn’t care at all because I actually did. By the end of the day, I would sometimes cry myself to sleep thinking about how mean they were toward me.

I told Yoongi about the matter. He remained silent for some time. At last, he said, “They don’t really know you. Don’t let them put you down.”

There was something which was confusing me. And that was the fact that whenever Jungkook tried to defend me they would say stuff like, “Since when are you taking her side?” Jungkook would go red in the face and won’t say anything else.

Jin always gave me a ride home from school since he was in charge of taking Jungkook back home. So, Jungkook and I would always wait for him to arrive. On such an occasion, one day, one boy from our class approached us and started to cut jokes about how I was such a drama queen and that I was just pretending to have an amnesia to get special treatment from the boys. When Jin came to rescue us, the boy asked him, “Are you guys worshipping her as a superhero now?”

That made Jin really angry and he started to scream at the boy. He warned him not to do the same mistake again. Otherwise he would have to say goodbye to his dear legs. That scared the boy off.

I was trying to put the pieces together. Everything seemed to point to the fact that the Bangtan Boys used to be one of them. They had also made fun of me before the accident. But it was hard for me to imagine that. These boys were too kind to me. How could I believe that they were also capable of such cruelty?

I decided I would ask Nina. I had to know the truth. THE WHOLE TRUTH...

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I sat motionless on my bed, tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe what I had learned from Nina earlier today.

I practically begged Nina to tell me exactly what kind of relationship I was in with the boys before my accident. She told me that the truth might hurt me. But I was determined to know it anyway. And so she told me everything.

I was being bullied by the entire school. When Nina joined, it was reduced a little though not wholly. By the time, people got bored as I kept avoiding them. But the Bangtan Boys had been especially mean toward me and their teasing never stopped until the accident. They had been regretting their acts since then.

Nina told me, “I personally hated them too. But I think they have really changed a lot. That’s why I kept the truth away from you thinking they might deserve a chance.”

I didn’t say anything further to Nina about the matter. I came back home. I couldn’t sleep as I kept thinking about the boys all night. Then, it suddenly clicked. All the memories seemed to be poured down to my brain all at once.

I sat up on my bed, my eyes closed. The last thing I remembered was the scene of the accident.

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My Masterlist

Singularity

Fandom: BTS

Pairing: Namjoon × Reader

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“Shit!” I huffed out as I had to climb the stairs up to the third floor and my poor lungs wouldn’t want to cooperate as always, “I forgot my water bottle at home again.”

“You can have mine, no problem!” a boy handed me his half filled plastic bottle.

I usually follow one rule while drinking water from other people’s bottles. I ask them if they touch their lips to the bottles opening while drinking and usually refuse to drink from the same bottle if they do.

That day, however, I didn’t have the mind to do that as I straight up uncapped the bottle to finish the whole thing in one go. When I looked up to say ‘thanks’ and ‘sorry’, he was already gone. As it was almost time for the next class, I supposed he hurried to get to his. I remembered the boy’s name to be Namjoon.

Namjoon was a boy I would often see in between classes. Sometimes we would nod, ask when the next class was or simply smile at each other. And then, we’d go our separate ways. I knew him just like that. I didn’t remember ever having a full conversation with him.

I didn’t see him again after that day. But I heard some rumors about him around the campus not long after. He was accused of saying something that sparked controversy. Since I didn’t know him in person I never expressed my opinion on the matter. But I had a lingering wish to meet him again, to return his empty plastic bottle that I still carry in my bag.

That wish came true when I finally saw him again.

He was having lunch at an empty table at the corner of the cafeteria. There was no one around so I walked up to him right away.

“I’m so sorry I could not return your bottle that day!” I had told him.

“What bottle?” He looked at me with genuine confusion.

I took out the said bottle from my bag to put on the table. Namjoon let out a chuckle at its sight. “You wanted to return this?”

“I know, it might not be a huge deal to you. But I literally can’t sleep in peace until I return what I borrow from someone else. Be it a pen or book or whatever.” I explained myself clearly to which Namjoon nodded and took the empty bottle off the table.

“I’ll take it back then.” He said, “Hope it gives you some peace.”

He shook his head slightly and laughed. For some reason, I felt overwhelmed seeing him laugh like that. His eyes completely vanished behind the wrinkles as he laughed. He looked so unreal. I couldn’t make up my mind why I was feeling that way at such a small act of someone I barely knew. But I had a feeling that it was a moment I would never witness again. I felt the need to capture it in a picture so that I could look at it whenever I wanted to.

However, I didn't take his picture that day. Instead I stood there for a while, enjoying the moment as it was. He didn’t invite me to sit next to him. I wished he did.

The next time I heard about Namjoon was from a group of friends talking about college in general. I wasn't minding their gossip until I heard them speak about him.

"Good grades aren't everything, you see!" One of them said, "you need to have a better character to not be kicked out of school like that."

I was shocked to find what happened to Namjoon regarding those rumors. As much as I wanted to interrupt their conversation, I couldn't bring myself to do so. Yet my heart couldn't believe a word of the dirty talks I heard around. Even though I wasn't a friend of his, neither was I an acquaintance, in my heart, I still pictured him as the smiling boy who had helped me at the time I needed it.

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Note: Inspired by a dream...

My Masterlist

I’m Back...

I am attending my last exam tomorrow. Soon, I’ll be posting regularly again. At least, I hope so...

These are what you’re gonna get before long:

The last part of ‘My Guardian Angel’

Fast updates on the series ‘Noona! Please! Help!’

Slow updates on the series ‘The Other Side’

Personal review on Jin’s single ‘The Astronaut’

Short drabbles, if I have the time and mood

Being a burden is such a weird, oldfashioned concept. How are sick/disabled people a burden to their families ? Isn't it so normal to need help, isn't that what you sign up for when deciding to have a child? That you will be their caretaker? That you will provide for them? Disabled people have the right to be properly cared for and loved every day of their lives and if you can't provide that literally don't have kids. Needing help is ok, being dependant on others is ok, not being able to work is ok, being sick is ok, being disabled is ok. You are not a burden. If anything, a family that doesn't provide what they have available is a burden for YOU.

Jack In The Box, album by J-Hope

Notes: It’s time to express some of my thoughts regarding every member’s solo albums and singles. I’ve been putting it off for months. Let’s do it without further delay, starting with the first member to have released his solo album.

1. Intro: 9/10

“It flapped its delicate wings as it danced around Pandora, lightly brushing against her shoulder.”

Basically it’s the story of Pandora in Greek Mythology and the origin of hope in the mortal world. If you haven’t heard it yet, this post is a sign for you to look it up (also check out Ted Ed’s video ‘The myth of Pandora’s box’ for more details). The narration of the story (J-Hope’s intro) is smooth and short. It sounds pleasing to the ears. And it is definitely a unique idea for his album’s intro. I believe what Hoseok’s been trying to tell is that what he is to the Armys is what hope is to all the people on earth.

2. Pandora’s Box: 10/10

“J to the Hope, Jung to the Huimang, Jack in the box”

Only Hoseok can make a fine connection between a myth, a toy and his whole personality and also make total sense. It’s probably my first time listening to a song that is a retelling of a myth. And Hoseok did an amazing job here. The lyrics made my jaw drop, like literally. I said it once and I’ll say it a hundred times, BTS is one of the few artists who knows what poetry truly is. And this song is one of the many living proofs.

3. More: 8.5/10

“My work makes me breathe. So I want more”

The first released song with the music video shook me a great deal like it did to many Armys I’m sure. The sunshine of the group in such a grim-emo kinda look was absolutely out of the blue. Nevertheless, this vibe suits him right. Comparing their passion for making art with an awful addiction is a thing BTS did in their early works too. I can see that theme portrayed from Hoseok’s perspective so well.

4. Stop: 6.5/10

“The only belief that rules over me, ‘There are no bad people in the world’”

The struggle of freeing yourself of the innate nature of being judgmental is portrayed in this masterpiece. Shoutout to Hoseok for speaking about the truth of today's world and people’s values and ethics while still keeping an open mind, making sure not to judge anyone harshly. The lyrics definitely deserve praise. But personally I think it is not a song that I can listen to more than once.

5. = (Equal Sign): 7/10

“Same, the breaths we breathe. Same, the dreams we dream of”

Yes! Sing it, J-hope. Who’s going to give us hope at times of despair if it isn’t you? The change is indeed soon to begin. We’re all in this together. Let’s make a better world without prejudice and hate. BTS, as well as us, the Armys; we believe in ‘Love’.

6. Music Box: Reflection: 10/10

This one is actually brilliant. At first I played it on repeat many times a day. I even set it as my alarm ringtone and it is still there. I know, we shouldn’t be doing that because it makes us hate the music afterwards. But I still couldn’t grow to dislike it. This music has a whole aesthetic to it that makes me imagine myself in a music video everytime I play it.

7. What If...: 8.5/10

“What if I have nothing?”

This one shows what Hoseok has been trying to portray through the whole album pretty directly. You can see him questioning his own personality. Is he really all sunshine and rainbows inside out? I mean, is that even possible for a human? You can hear his passion pouring out in the voice. Chef’s kiss to the bravery of finally speaking out; louder for the people on the back.

8. Safety Zone: 8/10

“In my 20’s, I’m living an endless life”

It hurts when you look up a song and you find the lyrics so sad. The life of an idol is never really easy. People need to keep in mind that these idols are humans too. Give them some break for God’s sake. They talk about their struggles through their songs and yet we fail to see it. I really hope Hoseok finds peace and happiness that he deserves.

9. Future: 6.5/10

“Walking in the future, a step of hope”

The fact that Hoseok worries about his future too shows how much he is like us. After all, at the end of the day, we’re all human. Let’s keep our courage and step forward.

10. Arson: 10/10

“Do I put out the fire or burn even brighter?”

Just think about the poetic effect of the last line of the last song. Even though I liked most of the songs from this album, Arson takes the trophy. The music, the lyrics, the mv, everything is just fine as fine can be. J-Hope never disappoints us with his unique ideas. I’m in love…

Notes: The album is a masterpiece and it deserves all the attention it got and more. Apart from the fact that the music and the beats are all kinda dope, we need to focus on its lyricism too. This album feels like a cry for help. We need to acknowledge Hoseok's struggle as an idol and try to sympathize. Let's try to become the best version of ourselves as fans and let our idols live a normal life while supporting them unconditionally.

Robert Browning, Porphyria’s lover

Micah Nemerever, These Violent Delights

Anne Sexton, Killing The Love Poem

Richard Siken, Crush (A Primer for the Small Weird Loves)

J. Summers, The Sound of Thunder

Yves Olade, Slaughterhouse (Beloved)

Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.

— Stephen King

Suga - Indigo

6/7 (Check out other colours/members here)