Daily Reminder

I need a boyfriend to scream at me when I gain and let me starve and to buy me cute gifts when I lose weight

The thought of one day being someone's th!nsp0 is the best thing to keep me going

I wish to get my main dc acc back :((

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 12

I stayed home, just like yesterday and this pressure of not putting in enough steps for me to feel comfortable was getting too much so I decided go use the treadmill and walk on it for an hour and 50 minutes. It was so good honestly, in the confinement of my own home, comfortable and quiet while I can do whatever as I walk and I don't need to look out for people I would bump into or cars that could hit me.

Sadly as much as I promised myself to eat as little as possible when mom came home, saying she bought some cookies and sweets I caved. I may have mentioned this, I am not one to crave sweet things, especially if it's sticky, full of cream and sugar. Yeah, well to my misfortune everything she brought home was notjing of sort, so I indulged. Lavender cookies, snow crescents, small piece of bundt cake and gingerbread macaroons. I could look for a basic recipe but I doupt I could calculate the correct estimate of calories.

I try not to dwell, thoughts of simply not listing these down had ran through my mind but I would be only lying to my own self.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➁ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

➀ Hell energy drink 250ml (lemon & ginger) - 118 cal

➁ Green apples 326g - 189 cal

➂ Eggs 130g - 186 cal

Water - 1,6l/2l

Full - 493 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 11781/10000 - 476 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 476 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 14

Mom asked me to accompany her to give my sister a lift to uni and while driving back we stopped to pick up a package and to buy some ribbons for my halloween costume. I decided to look for cute plates, mainly heart shaped ones and although I did find two types, one was too deep and big -also had blood on it so I had go scrub and sanitise my hands raw because I felt icky - and the other was too shallow for me. Unfortunately I didn't buy a cute plate but a basic small ceramic one.

I love how the trees are colorful, how chilly yet somehow warm it is in autumn. I could wear my current favourite sweater and pants that are now big on me a bit. Mom always tells me that I am getting really skinny and I love the attention I get from other people.

Oh! Also I am finally at my lowest weight in 5 years! Still high, but it is going down surely and I am addicted.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➀ Basmati rice with tuna, broccoli and peas 200g - 466 cal

➀ Banana - 62 cal

Water - 1.4l/2l

Full - 528 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 6394/10000 - 259 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 259 cal

Why am I like this? I know I need to lose and I just binge and eat all the sweet things even though I literally don't like sugary sweet things...

skinny is the only way to prove people wrong.

giving up is just letting you and other people down.

I’m going back to starving

I gained 1kg back in two days even tho I barely ate. Time to fast it down and more 💕✨️

I love my wrists because they are not thick and I can see how much I have already lost but every damn fucking time i look at my ankles I wanna cry because they are so thick.

For what reason??? Ugh...