Just Tried That Light Green/paradise Monster And It Reminds Of Me Those Apple Gummy Bears I Used To Eat

getting used to the hunger once again (it's literally the best feeling)

Okay. Just because I've always been fat or chubby or "average" doesn't mean it has to stay this way forever.

I binged the FIFTH FUCKING DAY IN A ROW.

Holy shit. I feel so ashamed for even typing this and I don't know how or why I could let that happen. And I could've restricted so easily, too, yesterday and today because my parents were at work and I was home alone with my siblings, but NOOO I had to fucking...

I haven't even weighed myself but I'm sure it's going to be awful when I do, especially since I've been doing so well before (I've lost a lot of weight and haven't binged for a relatively long time). I've probably ruined all the progress of the past weeks.

I'm going to fucking change now. I don't think today can be saved honestly, even if I at least counted most of my calories and compared to the other days, it wasn't as bad, but I'm still going to get in my steps and then I'll be fucking DONE with binging. Thankfully, we'll soon visit my Grandma and on travel days I can fast usually, so I'm going to absolutely use that as sort of catalyst for finally locking in again, but of course I'm going to start RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

I can't go back to school after Easter break having gained like 5kg or something, not when we have so many swimming classes atm and all my friends were calling me skinny and complimenting my waist. I still have a week and a half to lock in and lose weight and I'm going to use it.

In the second week, only my sister and I will be home for a couple of days and maybe I'll even try to fast through all of them (depending on how much school work I'll have left to do then)

So yeah, sorry for rambling but I do feel slightly better now because of it

I haven't weighed myself in at least a week now I think, which is crazy considering I usually get super obsessed with it and sometimes do it multiple times a day, but for one I'm too scared what the scale may say and then if I actually want to see my progress I need to look for actual physical changes and don't rely on the number of the scale?

I guess I'll try it out for a bit, except for yesterday I was in a deficit ever day that week and I'll just try not to weigh myself for a while and hopefully get a pleasant surprise when I do

might be a bit over specific, but at the moment I like romanticise ⭐ving by pretending I'm just some cool guy commanding a space ship, classes are space ship school or something and I can't eat because I am infected by some alien parasite that'll eat me instead if I eat food... Or something.

Seriously, why am I like this

Meanspo?

Don't need that, my siblings made me in the Sims, realistically 😃🔫

It takes 30 days to build a habit, right? So maybe if I count the days I'll finally be consistent

You'd think after three years of this I'd have finally figured out something that works for me, but noooo

If your 13 or older and still sleep with a stuffed animal please rb this im tryna prove a point to my friend.

Sooo I did successfully get around eating my Dad's birthday cake, because my entire family kind if overslept and I said I'd take a piece to school with me since I'm in such a rush

Yeah, I'm obviously not gonna eat it, but I'm so happy I got around it 😅