I Am Forced To Be Awake Every Agonizing Second To Feel The Worst Mental Pain In Existence. I Can’t

I fucking miss uou I hate yyou

I’m literally at a point I don’t know what to do I have nobody I havefucking Novody I have nobody god help me god help me

It felt like I was back in that relationship all over again finding out she lied to me I feel like death I’m going to fucking relapse I hate this I hate my body I hate my everything I just wish I was cis I hate my self

I have nothing to lose I don’t feel anything anymore

I am legitimately thinking about going on Tiktok or any social and encouraging them to genuinely be mean I will give them fuel I will tell them I’m autistic and transgender and was raped as a kid and sexually assaulted throughout my life and that I have no friends or ambitions and that I have family issues and then will encourage them to bully me into suicide and ill get more mean comments than nice ones because I’ll be seen as corny and attention seeking so no matter what I’m getting hate that will ruin my mental and finally drag me to do it

Why the fuck is it that you can move on and not care anymore and why is it not me why the fuck do I still have to suffer with caring about you why do I still care why are you just okay with being evil I try so fucking hard to forget about you and pray on your downfall I just want to move on why can you move on but I can’t this shit is just so unfair

My head hurts

I’m such a fucking loser and I’m fucked up beyond the point of recovery I’ll never get better I’m cursed to be this way forever I hate staying up I hate being alive I need to kill myself I need to fucking kill myself im such a worthless fucking retard oh my god I need to get fucking killed so bad oh my god I fucking hate my boyfriend and my life and my “friends” I hate everything I want to die why the fuck can I not fucking die

I’m so repulsive to Everyone I know everyone would just love Me better if I had a cock nobody loves me for who I am they all want me to be someone I’m not and I can’t fucking change that I can take hormones and everything but it still won’t change the fact I won’t have a dick I wish I could fucking Die I am so unlovable and ugly to everyone I hate my self I hate myself so fucking much I wish I was a man I wish I was a fucking man I hate this so fucking much I hate my fucking body I hate my genitals I hate myself I hate myself I wish that I Could just be a fucking man

Makes me so fucking frustrated and upset “oh it could be worse it could be this it could be that” dude shut the actual fuck up you don’t know shit about anything and if you think it’s cuz I can’t take a joke you’re fucking wrong I will literally fucking trauma dump and make this WHOLE conversation uncomfortable