What Have I Done To Make You Disgusted By Me

I don’t know why I try to do anything I am so untalented and fucking retarded and stupid oh my fod I need to die I want to slit my wrists I want to fucking hang my self I hate myself so fucking much I can’t take it I want to kill myself i want to die why haven’t I died yet why am I still here I have no purpose I hate everyone I want to die

I dont know what specifically happened, but I don’t think I really need this account anymore. I mean I’ll still use it, what I meant is that I don’t think I feel as empty as I did when I first started.

I got a job and I love it. I finally got my permit after about 3 tries. I an getting out way more. I am dating the ACTUAL love of my life and am getting closer and closer with him. I’m getting closer to my irl friends. I’m doing … mostly ok in school, but I’m not worried about it. It’s my last year in school. I’m in therapy and I get along with my therapist. I feel more confident about myself and my body. I have proper medication that really works. I have a new special interest. I’ve been extremely creative, both art + music + edit & even writing wise. I’ve been finding some new music that has been inspirational to me. I’m sort of re-developing my clothing style. I have a wicked ass tattoo. Ive been smoking weed and having fun with that. Whenever I think of her I dismiss it and move on. I have amazing friends both online and irl and am developing decently normal relationships. I’m laughing so much more. I’m becoming more independent. I’ve redeveloped a love for energy drinks, specifically Monster. People have been more kinder to me. I am a trendsetter at my school and everyone talks about me. Im about to get a big paycheck. When I get my proper driver’s license, I’m going to be able to drive around. Im getting my issues solved. Next year I will HOPEFULLY be able to get a house with my partner and we can live on our own.

There’s so much more, but I can’t list them all. Im pretty forgetful. I just think I am healing. There are times where I feel like im not, and where I relapse back into old habits but I believe I’ve been getting better at that. I think that in general I am getting better. I am more grateful for the little things in life. I have no need to look back on the past, get upset about the past, etc. What’s done is done and there’s nothing I can change besides how my future will end up. I have people who love and support me forever and I am glad I do. Whether it’s 2 people or 20, I am happy I am in their presence. I think I am getting okay. It’s only up from here everyone

I’m literally at a point I don’t know what to do I have nobody I havefucking Novody I have nobody god help me god help me

I know I don’t know you, and you don’t know me and are probably just scrolling through the tags, but if you need someone I am here. I might not get to it right then, but I also come in here a lot.

Basically, don’t be afraid to reach out. We’re all in this together. Even if we don’t know each other, I’m happy to hear you vent and even offer advice if you wanted, but if you don’t that’s okay.

Just know things will get better.

Everything is temporary.

You are loved and appreciated and deserve nothing but a great life.

Everything I love is being taken away from me and revealing itself to all be a false sense of security I don’t think I need to be here anymore

I am forced to be awake every agonizing second to feel the worst mental pain in existence. I can’t kill myself because there’s such a big chance I will fail. Yet I can’t keep waking up like this anymore. This is limbo. This is my personal Hell. I can’t escape at all. I can’t fucking escape. I can’t leave. I have to be here and I can’t fucking do it anymore yet I am forced to because the alternatives are no better. I’m so fucked. I am so fucked

My life is over

I’m going to relapse and mutilate myself unrecognizable

Tell my mom I love her but fuck her for bringing me into this world when I didn’t fucking ask for this

I dont Even know what to say I’m just speechless. I shouldn’t of asked him how you were doing and I shouldn’t have checked your twitter again. It didn’t trigger me THAT bad but I just can’t keep doing this over and over. I just wish you would hurt. I just wish you would feel my pain. I wish you would obsess over how bad you’re hurting like I do. I’m sorry