Look I Know Neil’s Time In Evermore Was Bad And Traumatic Ik But Nothing Is Funnier To Me Than The

how tall is bruce and thomas wayne?

in saih bruce is 6′2″ and thomas was 6′5″

since ive been home ive been rewatching teen wolf … its the funniest show ever made. during the 45 minute pilot there were 15 top 40 songs. incredible.

The Sugar Baby Ben AU

The premise: Obi-Wan and Anakin from the end of ROTJ get sent back to the Jedi Temple during TPM. Obi-Wan is confused, Anakin is confused, Mace Windu is very confused, and Vokara Che is also very confused. (It’s fine, it’s not like anyone relies on the Jedi for their intelligence anyways.) 

So what happens after they get where and who they are sorted out?

Well:

Anakin kills Sidious. He may be small, and blond, and just the cutest little kid, but he has several decades worth of fury directed at the man, and he’s still pretty much a Sith Lord (if a reformed one). It is very violent, and very worrying to anyone who sees it except for Obi-Wan. (In the absence of any convenient reactor shafts to toss the bitch down, Anakin resorts to a combination of lethal use of the Force and a blaster, just for good measure. They’re cleaning Sidious’s guts off his office carpet for years after the fact.)

Then, while the Jedi are trying to get a handle on the fact that (a) Sith exist, (b) time travel exists, and © the tiny adorable boy Qui-Gon Jinn brought back actually is horribly dangerous, Anakin runs off. He grabs his mother, slaughters a couple slavers indiscriminately, which Shmi feels obligated to chastise him for, even if she isn’t that horrified, and they go to Naboo.

To everyone but Obi-Wan’s surprise, Anakin lasts about two weeks on Naboo. A month or so later, the Jedi start hearing rumors about a small, dark-cloaked figure with a red lightsaber who leaves entire slave markets to burn. They don’t hear about the woman with him, who holds him back and calms his rage, who can stop her son when he needs to be stopped and hold him when he needs to be held. (Obi-Wan knows that she’s there anyways, and he sends her the number of a good therapist.)

So, what is Obi-Wan doing during all of this?

Short answer: scandalizing every jedi on coruscant

Slightly longer answer: scandalizing every jedi on coruscant by having ridiculous amounts of sex

Keep reading

Stalling Tactics

[Anakin, getting ready to go help Palpatine] Obi-Wan: [winded, busting through the door] Anakin! Anakin: [sniffling, quickly wiping his eyes] Obi-Wan! What – what are you doing here? Obi-Wan: [clearly winging it] I…came back early from Utapau because I realized that I forgot…my keys.  Anakin: [confused] What? How would you have left without them? Obi-Wan: Oh. Uh…I mean I…came back because I forgot…something else, then. [looks around the room] [picks up a pen someone left in there] Uh, this! Anakin: O…K. [standing up straighter] Well whatever Obi-Wan, I have to go take care of something, so, maybe I’ll talk to you later. Obi-Wan: [hastily, jumping in front of him as he tries to walk past] No! I, uh, I just remembered that it’s Master Yoda’s birthday next week, and we haven’t gotten him a thing! [reaching for his hand] C’mon then, I’ll take us shopping, and you can pick out anything – Anakin: [pulling his hand away] Obi-Wan, I’m not going shopping with you right now, I have somewhere I need to be and you wouldn’t underst– Obi-Wan: [blocking the doorway] You can’t go into this part of the building right now.  Anakin: [furrowing his brow] And why is that? Obi-Wan: They’re…fumigating. This wing. Space mites. And…mold.  Anakin: [shoving him aside] Look, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I have a situation I need to go deal with right now and I can’t really talk about it, so, uh, see you around. [heads down the hallway] Obi-Wan: [running after him] [keels over, feigning injury] Oh! Anakin: [warily sighs] What is it now? Obi-Wan: My…foot. Is…injured. Gravely. I might need you to carry me to the –  [Anakin’s comm goes off] Anakin: Hang on, it could be the Chancell– [Obi-Wan grabs it out of his hand and throws it into a nearby garbage chute]  Anakin: Hey! That was my comm! Why did you do that?! Obi-Wan: I…wanted to see if it could withstand the trash incinerator. [peers into the chute he just threw it into] Guess not. Live and learn, I suppose! [stretches his arms over his head and yawns] Well, I’m knackered! What’s say you and I go get comfortable and watch several hours of the holonet back at our place? Anakin: [shaking his head] For kriff’s sake. Look, I don’t know what your problem is right now, but I’ve got a lot on my plate and I don’t have time to deal with whatever’s wrong with you on top of everything.  Obi-Wan: [briefly making eye contact with Mace, who is hauling Sheev away in handcuffs further down the hallway and giving Obi-Wan a thumbs-up] Mmhmm.  Anakin: And I really don’t appreciate you making my day harder than it already is.  Obi-Wan: [nodding] I understand.  Anakin: And look: whatever happens after this, just know that I had my reasons. It was the only way.   Obi-Wan: Yes, of course.  Sheev: [yelling over his shoulder] You haven’t seen the last of me, Jedi! Anakin: Huh? [about to turn around]  Obi-Wan: [grabs Anakin and dip-kisses him]

How many boomers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None.

They’ll all resist change even if it means making the world a brighter place.

star wars edit with WW84 trailer music | by voordeel_ts [x]

comedians: it's so difficult to be funny nowadays without sjws getting offended

robert pattinson, without an inch of effort:

The only reason I can't imagine the whole Ani/Obi/Satine/Padmé foursome is because that Anakin and Satine have to share Obi-Wan. Just... that's a disaster waiting to happen. Poor Padmé, having to listen to everyone complain. God, imagine date night? Do they have a schedule???

I AGREE. It might end up with everything In Perfect Balance where they all live happily ever after, but it also could easily just end up being a total disaster. 

While I’m at it, I’ll get up on my soapbox, because I really feel like as a fandom people give Padme way too much credit for “being the sane one”. She’s married to Anakin, you guys. ANYONE is going to look like the sane one by comparison. It’s why Obi-Wan seems Staid and Calm and Rule-Abiding despite the fact that he’s constantly jumping out of windows and chopping off people’s limbs. 

Padme is just as extra as the rest of them. She’s always tearing down hallways firing a gun while wearing a prom dress and a tiara, or marrying a dude she’s known for 45 minutes, 20 of which included him committing mass murder and then yell-crying about it. I love her, a lot, but let’s be real here, people: Padme is probably not going to crank down the drama here. So in this scenario, not only will Satine and Anakin be possibly trying to kill each other for Obi-Wan’s affections, I feel like Padme’s going to either A) put on something scandalous in an attempt to lure Anakin back over by her, because she is NOT gonna lose to Obi-Wan, or B) throw herself at Obi-Wan in an attempt to make Anakin jealous (of her? Him? Who cares; both works!)and/or snare Obi-Wan for herself.😄

SOMEBODY I FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM POSTED THIS AND IM SCREAMING NDAEFDFIZXBNLDFD

I did a redraw of something from April last year, largest issue with it was the technicalities really so I didn't have to change much at all...

ANYWAY! its dead Jason so- blood- bruises- that kinda thing-

AND I'M ON MOBILE AGAIN SO SCREW READ MORE LINES AM I RIGHT?

(I'm bitter)

Anywho.

Old one:

New one.