Imagine If Darth Vader Had Raised The Twins.

Ahsoka with a little more Skywalker in her, killing palp and only returning to the order to train Leia is an AU that really butters my eggroll.

Rex is the most exasperated clone in the galaxy. The 332nd is the loudest and most scary battalion in the republic right after aayla securas 327th. Leia is like Ahsokas temper times Anakins hype.

Helena Howard; as Ahsoka Tano

Bruce is not hiding.

He’s simply…. giving Damian an opportunity to brush up on his sleuthing skills. It’s a warm gesture of affection— one that happened to involve him slipping silently into the den with a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough clutched to his chest. He’s beyond grateful that the lights are dimmed to the lowest setting and the loud, abrasive program Steph’s watching is turned up almost all the way.

This gives him room to be a bit clumsy in his getaway— er, teaching moment.

There’s a spot beneath a side table that sits beneath the shadows of the television. With his dignity intact, he crawls in and curls himself up as much as he can.

Freedom.

He gets five minutes of peace with the precious container of stolen goods. Three hundred seconds of nothing but sweet, cold goodness on a silver spoon. No complaints or demands. No pouty mouths or sniffling noses. Just freedom.

And then, the show cuts to a commercial break. Stephanie turns to him in slow motion, sees the cargo he’s handling and grins— wide and devilish. It has him holding the perspiration slick pint closer to his chest like a distressed damsel clutching her skirt.

“Why’re you hiding?”

“Not hiding.” He shovels a spoonful into his mouth, wincing as the chill sends a jarring wave of pain through his teeth. “Training exercise.”

She nods, still smiling. “And it wouldn’t help if Spoiler gave Robin the exact details of the thief that stole his last pint of ice cream.”

“We try not to encourage homicides remember.”

“Dami—”

He’s outbof his nook and has a hand over her mouth before she can finish. “You’re evil.”

She leaves a glob of spit in his palm. He sometimes forgets the sheer immaturity teenagers could possess.

“Get me Tim’s pint of chunky monkey and I’ll stay mum.”

“You’ll spoil your dinner.”

She raises both hands, feigning surrender, but there’s a spoon in one and his ice cream in the other. “Damian’ll ruin your face.”

“I never raised you to be so evil.”

“Bruce you didn’t even raise me.”

“Hnn.”

She makes a shooing motion with the spoon. “Go execute our deal, old man. I’ll protect your contraband.”

I’m not just pretty, no, I’m pretty damn good

those were the stories that stayed with you.

that meant something.

even if you were too small to understand why.

Probably the best SPN vid I’ve ever seen. This made me fall in love with the show all over again. Huge, amazing thanks to starstruckspnenthusiast for bringing this into my life.

Han is all “there’s to much Vader in him,” without mentioning that there is too much Vader in Leia too. 

Like, Bail Organa, bless his poor poor soul, tried to politician the Vader out of her. He tried SO FUCKING HARD. 

But the fact that she abandoned politics to be a General in the Resistance says a lot about her similarities to Anakin Skywalker. 

Chiron: A lot of famous people were actually demigods. Amelia Earhart, George Washington, Harry Houdini…

New Camper: Is there anyone current that I would know?

Chiron: Have you ever seen a True Crime Documentary on the kidnapping of Percy Jackson?

New Camper: Wait… are you talking about the kid who blew up the Gateway Arch????

Chiron, wiping away a single tear: We’re so proud.

Rey: OK, time to go through all that stuff I stole out of that tree. [picking up a VHS tape] “Get to Know The Jedi Order”. Hmm. Seems as good a place to start as any.   [puts it into a tape player on the Falcon]  Mace Windu: [walking in the Room of a Thousand Fountains] Hi. I’m Mace Windu, Jedi Master. Thank you for your purchase of this informative holo cassette tape about the Jedi Order. We’re glad you’ve taken an interest in learning more about our unique way of life. Many people wonder what life in our Temple is like. We invite you [awkwardly gestures] to join me and find out for yourself.  [shot of the cafeteria]  Mace: [voiceover] We begin our day like many beings: with a morning meal. It isn’t easy to meet the dietary needs of so many different species! Ahsoka: [eating a giant raw steak with her bare hands]  Obi-Wan: [lost in thought, writing something on a datapad, surrounded by 15 empty cups of caf and drinking another one]  Mace: [standing in the dojo while Anakin and Obi-Wan spar] For many Jedi, meditation, yoga, or even combat practice might be a part of their morning. But don’t worry – training sabers ensure that no one gets hurt.  Anakin: [getting slapped in the ass with a training saber and giggling like an idiot] Ooh, that’s it! You’re mine! Mace: [looking uncomfortable, then forcing a smile] Yes, we have fun here. [Quinlan Vos and Jocasta Nu, standing in the Archives and animatedly arguing, unaware they’re on film] Mace: [voiceover] As perhaps the galaxy’s biggest family, camaraderie is a cornerstone of the Jedi Order. We often work together to help one another learn the ways of the Force, using materials from our famous Archives.  Jocasta: The sign clearly states no food or drink in the archives, Master Vos!  Quinlan: [mouth full, crumbs everywhere] I wasn’t eating anything!  Jocasta: I can see you chewing! [reaches forward and tries to pry his mouth open] I’ll have you banned for life! Mace: [blocking them from the camera] Heh. Yes, we also often learn by engaging in spirited debate with one another.  Shaak Ti: [off camera] We’ll cut this part later.  Mace: [nods at the camera] 

Mace: Our Order is fortunate to benefit from the wisdom of many Jedi elders. Master Yoda, our Grandmaster, is over 800 years old. Jedi often find solace in his gentle, tranquil presence and quiet dignity. Yoda: [in a room full of younglings, clearly teaching them how to launch themselves onto the ceiling] With more panache, young one! Sell the leap, you must!  [a small child goes ricocheting around the room]   Mace: [to someone off-camera] We should have rehearsed this more. 

Mace: [in the Senate building] Many Jedi regularly interact with our important partners in the Senate, helping politicians across the galaxy maintain peace in their worlds. [turning to Bail Organa] Like my friend here, Senator Organa of Alderaan.  Bail: [shaking his hand stiffly, over-rehearsed] Here’s to another great day of protecting democracy, Master Windu. [cheesy smile]  Palpatine: [behind them, smirking at the camera as he walks by]  

[exterior shot of the Temple at night]  Mace: [walking down a hallway] A Jedi’s life requires absolute mental focus and physical fitness. So, you’ll often find us turning in early after a productive day for a good night’s sleep. Our hallowed halls, bustling and noisy during the day, are silent as our Jedi rest up.  [Obi-Wan, inebriated, fumbling with his keys in the background] Obi-Wan: [exaggerated whisper] SHHHH AN’KIN. His, he’s, he’s doing the thing. The program. [snickering] Stop doing that. Anakin: [totally trashed, falling all over Obi-Wan] Who, who is? Who’s…what thing? [lowering his voice] You’ve got real nice hair…  Mace: [to the camera, hastily] I, I hope you’ve enjoyed this chance to learn more about the Jedi…Jedi Order. [shoving Obi-Wan and Anakin into their quarters] Thank you for joining me, and may the Force be with you. [forces a final smile] [breaking character] For kriff’s sake, can we have one normal damned day around here? Force! Well, we’re out of money so that’ll have to be good enough, I guess. Don’t leave this last part in there. 

[fade to black]  

[credits roll] 

Rey: [turning off the screen] …oh. 

I want us to talk more about the Percy Jackson that is the son of the Father of Monsters.

I want us to talk about Percy looking at his brother, Tyson, staring at his only eye, at the strength in his arms and the skin that doesn’t burn, and thinking this is my brother. This is my family. I’m not so different from him.

To talk about Percy who fought another brother inside the Labyrinth and saw skulls of victims killed in the name of Poseidon and listened to his father, this god who has birthed heroes and monsters and gods, tell him Percy was his favorite. Did he ever stay awake at night wondering what that meant?

Percy who can bring the ocean to wherever he is even in the driest desert. Percy who caused an earthquake by accident and ended up freeing a monster that gave even the gods nightmares. Percy who can breathe underwater and controls a sea that doesn’t like to be controlled and creates storms that could bring down ships and destroy lives. Percy who can control anything liquid. Percy who controlled poison and scared even Annabeth who knew him better than any other demigod, who had seen so many terrifying things. Percy who is still so very, very young.

I want to talk about Percy who is the son of the Father of Monsters and has to wonder where that leaves him.

Did he ever stare in the eyes of a monster trying to kill him and think, had things been just a little different I would have been your brother in more than name? Did he ever look at himself in the mirror and wonder if there were any other humans or demigods with that shade of green in their eyes? Does he ever lay at night and listen to Annabeth’s heartbeat and think, had things been different, had he not been raised by his mother, had he been just a little less human, had he not fallen in love, he would have been able to stop it as easily as he could stop the tide?

Let’s talk about Percy Jackson who is the son of the Father of Monsters and therefore that little less human than any other demigod he’s ever met.

Percy who might have stared at Frank and thought, I wonder if I could change my shape, too, if I weren’t so scared of what I might become. I wonder if I already did.

Percy Jackson, who saw himself reflected in the curses of the monsters he killed and thought, suffocating a goddess with her own poison: monsters and I, if we’re the same, then so be it.

Percy who looks like a greek god, who has an expression that makes it hard to be sure if he’s the good guy or not in the middle of a battle, who is a hero and a legend and still wakes up screaming most nights even in college.

Percy who bled red for his entire life but still flinches when he gets a papercut- will he bleed golden, this time, or will it look like sand?

Percy Jackson is the son of the Father of Monsters and his fear is very, very human, but he is not.