A Clone Made Documentary About Why Jedi Are Like Cats With Video Proof (always Awake And Knocking Shit

Star Wars plot idea

This is from a friend who found the prompt, and we want a fic from it but are too lazy to write it. If you do take inspiration please send me the link.

Anakin getting drugged with an aphrodisiac on a mission but instead of making him want to fuck ALL THE THINGS he instead wants to cuddle EVERYONE and is high as all get out?? He cuddles Ahsoka and tells Rex that he’s his FAV CLONE1~EVA!When Obi-Wan has to get him off the ship to go to medical he wraps his arms around him and demands to be carried. (And Ahsoka is DYING of laughter because Obi-Wan is just…so resigned by this point.)

He sees Mace and goes super quiet and hides his face in Obi-Wan’s chest, like a bloody child, and when Obi-Wan explains what the hell is going on, Anakin apologizes for always fucking everything up and “maybe next time I’ll come back missing more limbs, that’ll make you happy, right?”

And Mace is horrified because he doesn’t hate Skywalker or want to see him MAIMED??? WHERE DID HE GET THAT IDEA FROM??? And Obi-Wan is like “HOLY SHIT ANAKIN”

And then Anakin sees Yoda and is all bubbly and cheery again, babbling about how he totally felt Dooku’s presence and he seemed healthy and more stable and even though they didn’t get him, he’s still alive and isn’t that great, Master Yoda?? I’m sure we’ll get him and bring him back so he stops making you so sad all the time by being a complete failure. 

And Obi-Wan is just like “OKAY, GOING TO MEDICAL NOW BEFORE THIS GETS ANY SADDER. REPORT LATER, BYE!”

And then Anakin’s just in the chambers of healing high as a kite and not letting Obi-Wan leave because he wants cuddles and Ahsoka has Important Padawan Learning to do that can’t be disturbed by him being needy. 

And during his high cuddling of Obi-Wan he ends up telling him all about his marriage to Padme and how much he loves her and wants her here because she gives awesome cuddles and he misses her so much. And maybe says some rather creepy shit about Palpatine that makes Obi-Wan’s “ALERT, ALERT, SOMEONE IS CREEPING ON YOUR PADAWAN” senses go off.

And that’s how the Speratists inadvertently saved the Galaxy.

…if Anakin accidentally gave Obi-Wan cause to think that Palpatine had been perving on his padawan since he was a CHILD holy FORCE there would be no power in the galaxy that could save the Sith Lord Sidious.

“No, it wasn’t like that, Master, really, he just patted my head and told me I’d do great things and to trust only in him because he cared for me and wanted what was best for me and told me that everyone else was a lying sack of poodoo and said I’d look good in these kinds of clothing and gave me a set and he said I’d look good in them and it’s like he can see inside me sometimes, master, he’s always saying the right thing -”

(Obi-Wan is freaking out BIG TIME)

…ditto if Obi-Wan confides in his suspicions to a horrified Padme. The two of them would combine forces to form an unstoppable murder duo.

But imagine what would happen if someone from the 501st overheard this. Palpatine would be dead before Padme and Obi-Wan make it out of the temple. 

(When asked later why he didn’t wait for them, Rex just shrugs and says “Plausible deniability, sir”)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Crack

Cedric: What did you want to tell me, Harry?

Harry: Have my babies

Cedric: ...

Harry: I mean, the first task is dragons

---

McGonagall: Potter, who is your partner for the Yule Ball?

Ron: *kicks down the door while in a stunning blue dress and four-inch heels*

Ron: It's me, bitches.

---

Ron: My dad sent you this to help with the second task

Ron: *opens up box to reveal a bunch of rubber duckies*

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Harry: Can you give me advice on how to talk to girls?

Sirius: *stares at Harry blankly while the Mii theme plays*

---

*Quidditch world cup*

Arthur: Hey, where's Percy?

Harry: I'll go check

*five minutes later*

Harry, traumatized: He's fucking my old Quidditch captain

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Draco: *sees Harry and Ron dancing at the Yule Ball*

Draco: MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS

*later*

Draco, writing a letter: Dear Father, I have never been so heart broken or betrayed

Mace Windu: [on TV] The only Jedi we can possibly spare are Skywalker and Kenobi.  Me: OH COME ON. The only two guys they can EVER spare are these two bickering idiots?! Are they just spending the entire rest of the war lounging around being beautiful and tired and yelling at each other? Does no one WANT to send them anywhere, for understandable reasons? WHY. WHY ARE THEY ALMOST ALWAYS THE ONLY ONES AVAILABLE. The Order doesn’t have the MOST Jedi they’ve ever had, fine, but they have a LOT of Jedi.  Anakin: [blahblahblah Obi-Wan I’m trying blahblahblah] Obi-Wan: [being a pompous ass]  Me: OH MY GOD. THEY ARE THE WORST. WHY IS ANYONE SENDING THEM ANYWHERE. Husband: [from the other room] They’re your favorites.  Me: I KNOW.

This is a gift

good content

Jason [introducing his family]: This is my older brother, Moron.

Dick:

Jason: This is my youngest brother, Bastard.

Damian:

Jason: And this is my dad, Evil Bitch the 3rd.

Bruce: *sighs*

it just occurred to me that darth vader, master engineer, probably looked at the death star plans at some point and noticed the flaw, but didn’t bother to tell anyone about it because he despised everyone who was involved in the project

You know what would even be funnier in the Scandalore verse? Obi Wan and Satine have been secretly married for years. They were waiting for Obi Wan to finish training and then there was Anakin and then the war and Anakin has an epic conniption because he really could gave used some how to be sekritly married tips

OH GOOD LORD, SOMEONE WRITE THIS. Secretly Married Obi-Wan is killing me. Like, Obi-Wan keeps meaning to say something, keeps meaning to resign from the order so that he can go BE WITH HIS WIFE but…he doesn’t want to set a bad example or anything and this KID is here now and…well, he’ll figure it out later. Attachments are forbidden, Anakin! Hang on, I have to go…to Mandalore…for reasons. I’ll be right back! Politicians are not to be trusted byeeeeee!

Satine is going to be so epically annoyed with him for dragging his feet on this. ARE YOU ASHAMED OF ME, OBI-WAN KENOBI?! WELL THEN MAYBE YOU’LL ENJOY SLEEPING ON THE COUCH. *throws a martini into the wall*

Can you even IMAGINE Anakin’s face when he learns this Important Information? Oh my God. 

Midtown decides to throw a talent show, and Tony tries to talk Peter into participating.

Tony: You can dance! I’ve seen you groovin’ before and you’ve got talent, kid.

Peter: First of all, don’t say “groovin’” - it makes you sound ancient. Second of all, my single only talent is the ability to cry on the spot. Watch.

Peter, thinking about those sad animal shelter commercials: *bursts into tears*

Tony, alarmed: Are you fucking okay?

*narrator voice* they were not fine

@charmwasjess well. you know what to do now. get searching