Dvyfknjns - Tired

if you wake up while McDonald’s is still serving breakfast then you’re doing good

job application: describe your most recent leadership role

me: sometimes at crosswalks i'm the first one to start jaywalking and everyone follows me

Icelandic Phallological Museum

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6VzgKKJYgY/

professor: *sends out an email to the entire class about some assignment* 

me:  

s l e e p    w i t h     m e 

my wife is giving birth and it’s messing with my vibe fr fr had to cut her off

alone time

Found this little guy in the dishwasher