professor: *sends out an email to the entire class about some assignment*
me:
cardinal truths:
-women be shoppin
-men get pegged
-cops are bastards
-shrimpin ain’t easy
ahem
Thomas: I sure showed those guys, huh?
Billie, awkwardly: Uh, yep! You sure did!
Thomas: I mean, did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?
friend: i'll pick you up at 5
clock: 5:01
me: wHeRE teh fuKc