Dunsolvedatthedisco - Dallon

Steve never had any dental worked done because he couldn't afford it so when he does go to the dentist he finds out he has to have his wisdom teeth out. Pretty much a one shot of it taking all the avengers to babysit a very high Steve Rogers who causes nothing but trouble.

“How can this even possibly be a problem?” Tony moaned as he loaded more ice into a ziplock bag.  “He’s a super soldier!”

“More than that, pal, he should’ve been able to fit all those teeth in that big mouth of his.”  Bucky grunted and shifted enough to keep Steve from moving.  Between Bucky on his legs and Natasha insisting that Steve play with her hair (’Ith tho thoft Natatha, Steve mumbled around super-soldier anesthesia and gauze), they mostly had Steve kept still.  

Clint and Thor were scrubbing and sweeping, respectively, over in the corner where Steve’s enthusiasm had broken a vase and set the plant inside tumbling. Steve had only just stopped sniffling his apologies for creating the mess.

Tony settled himself on the couch by Steve’s head and replaced the old ice with the new.  “This’ll be over soon though, won’t it?  I mean, he’s got the healing.”

“I mean,” Bucky grunted and tweaked Steve’s big toe hard, “it should be, a couple more hours at most, I think.  Provided he doesn’t do anything stupid and hurt himself.”  

It sounded more like a threat than anything else and Steve didn’t seem deterred, jaw clenched around gauze and eyebrows drawn together in frustration or stubbornness (or both).  

“With any luck, his face really does freeze that way,” Tony mused, “give someone else the chance to be the most photogenic.”

Steve glared harder.  

Bruce wandered back into the living room, clothes still drying in some spots.  “Ok.  All the water from the shower’s been mopped up.  JARVIS has someone coming to replace tiles tomorrow.”

“And you didn’t Hulk out.”  Clint smiled.  “Win!”

Bruce shrugged.  “To be fair, I’m the one who suggested that he’d feel better after he washed up.  So it’s kind of on me.”

Steve struggled to break free of Bucky and Natasha.  

“No, Steve.”  Natasha guided his hand back towards her hair.  

Steve struggled more.  

“Steve.  You stubborn ass.” Bucky shifted again to keep both of Steve’s legs under him.  

“Ith creem”  Steve whined.  

Tumblr you’re drunk go home

Okay so I was just scrolling down my feed and I was looking at a just-highschool-things post and I was like “is this a marvel post?” and it wasn’t so I was confused and I look up to see @ironfamjam ‘s pfp on the post instead of @just-high-school-things pfp. So now I’m just confused.

People being like "why is Ken just Ken" and thinking it's a gimmick for girl bossing Barbie clearly never watched Barbie Life in the Dream House because if they had they'd know that Ken is a very smart and capable guy but chooses to dedicate his life to Barbie because he loves her. He literally has a sixth sense for if Barbie is unhappy or needs something and will drop everything to help/cheer her up. Ken chooses not to pursue careers like Barbie does because it would interrupt his Barbie time. Ken is a self imposed trophy husband and I won't let people question his decision!

reblog to have mark watch your followers at night

my followers when i find a new hyperfixation to post about for a week before disappearing again:

ALL EYES ON GAZA! more palestinian campaigns in urgent need of support!!

please please share and donate if you can. even a small donation makes a difference. part 1 here part 3 upcoming. in the words of rachel corrie in 2003, i think it is a good idea for us all to drop everything and devote our lives to making this stop.

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that james acaster quote where he jokes about only releasing comedy specials at the same time that geniuses reinvent the genre is so funny to me because what does he think he did with repertoire

I accidentally read this out loud.

My mom said some people like whores a lot.

My mom's like why would you want a t-shirt bra, it makes it look like you don't have anything on underneath? And than she's like don't wear that bra either, you can see the lines and everything. WELL WHAT THE FUCK? YOU WANT TO JUST GO WITHOUT ONE??? lol

No anon that make you a whore and nobody likes whores /s

mental illness is having gender envy for james acaster

I am crying, this is so funny

my little cousin confidently declared that mother nature had a counterpart named daddy electric and i feel like this concept needs to be explored