Taskmaster - James Acaster: The Hula Hoop Champion Of My Heart

Steve never had any dental worked done because he couldn't afford it so when he does go to the dentist he finds out he has to have his wisdom teeth out. Pretty much a one shot of it taking all the avengers to babysit a very high Steve Rogers who causes nothing but trouble.

“How can this even possibly be a problem?” Tony moaned as he loaded more ice into a ziplock bag.  “He’s a super soldier!”

“More than that, pal, he should’ve been able to fit all those teeth in that big mouth of his.”  Bucky grunted and shifted enough to keep Steve from moving.  Between Bucky on his legs and Natasha insisting that Steve play with her hair (’Ith tho thoft Natatha, Steve mumbled around super-soldier anesthesia and gauze), they mostly had Steve kept still.  

Clint and Thor were scrubbing and sweeping, respectively, over in the corner where Steve’s enthusiasm had broken a vase and set the plant inside tumbling. Steve had only just stopped sniffling his apologies for creating the mess.

Tony settled himself on the couch by Steve’s head and replaced the old ice with the new.  “This’ll be over soon though, won’t it?  I mean, he’s got the healing.”

“I mean,” Bucky grunted and tweaked Steve’s big toe hard, “it should be, a couple more hours at most, I think.  Provided he doesn’t do anything stupid and hurt himself.”  

It sounded more like a threat than anything else and Steve didn’t seem deterred, jaw clenched around gauze and eyebrows drawn together in frustration or stubbornness (or both).  

“With any luck, his face really does freeze that way,” Tony mused, “give someone else the chance to be the most photogenic.”

Steve glared harder.  

Bruce wandered back into the living room, clothes still drying in some spots.  “Ok.  All the water from the shower’s been mopped up.  JARVIS has someone coming to replace tiles tomorrow.”

“And you didn’t Hulk out.”  Clint smiled.  “Win!”

Bruce shrugged.  “To be fair, I’m the one who suggested that he’d feel better after he washed up.  So it’s kind of on me.”

Steve struggled to break free of Bucky and Natasha.  

“No, Steve.”  Natasha guided his hand back towards her hair.  

Steve struggled more.  

“Steve.  You stubborn ass.” Bucky shifted again to keep both of Steve’s legs under him.  

“Ith creem”  Steve whined.  

hey what is buzzfeed unsolved about?

I don’t know

I was talking about Gordon Ramsey and somebody suggested that Gordon Ramsey is my dad so I shout that he is and my older brother says he isn’t and then goes “wait, maybe he is.” I asked what he meant and he didn’t respond.....

......so Gordon Ramsey might be my dad

Friend: Where do you think they keep actors while they’re shooting stuff?

Me: I don’t know. Maybe suspended animation.

Friend: omg! That explains Paul Rudd.

Me desperately trying not to laugh: yeah totally

Update: he told me it’s because I’m like over 50% British. I now have even more questions.

I don’t know

I was talking about Gordon Ramsey and somebody suggested that Gordon Ramsey is my dad so I shout that he is and my older brother says he isn’t and then goes “wait, maybe he is.” I asked what he meant and he didn’t respond.....

......so Gordon Ramsey might be my dad

The sign of high quality is the fact the book was banned by the government. Trash literature NEVER EVER had any troubles with the law.