“The Rabbat” By Annie Stegg Gerard

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????

It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????

What the fuck??????

The panic over COVID-19 causing people to hoard shit unnecessarily means I can't find medical supplies (like disinfecting alcohol wipes) without paying an obnoxiously exorbitant amount.

Generally healthy, able-bodied people don't need masks, exam gloves, or alcohol swabs to protect themselves against COVID-19. But chronically ill people and their caretakers do need those supplies to live their everyday lives.

Calm the fuck down and wash your fucking hands, ableds.

PETITION HERE

Deadpool’s instructive video may save your testicles

Steve Rogers || what’s in your head

No doctor will ever get my respect like the woman in the ER who checked me for claws and fangs because I told her I was turning into a werewolf and could feel it and let me know gently that she couldn’t find any but that didnt make it feel any less real, like THATS how you do it, other doctors who just flat out told me I was wrong take notes

So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

Via @iamdylancurran (Twitter)