The Hardest Phone Call

This caption will be long but important.

First of all, to remind (or tell) you who I am and where I’m from.

I am Ukrainian, and I lived in Ukraine, Odessa my whole life. Until early March or 2022 when I had to flee my home because of war.

Since then my life has been a whirlwind. To sum it all up briefly – me, my mother, my grandma who is 82, and our dog fled to Romania, moved multiple times traveling through the country with the help of the kindest locals, and after another month and making good good friends on the way who helped us on the level I'm still struggling to comprehend I was finally sure the situation for my family is stable.

The hospitality of Romanian people is also the reason for this post to have exactly this one art piece.

And because Romania is beautiful too.

Should I tell you I dreamt about seeing mountains? It came to life. But I hate the circumstances of this dream coming true. I can only wish to come back to Romanian Carpathians while not running from war.

Why “to come back” would you ask? Because after that month I moved further, but on my own. To France.

Yet worry not, I’m not alone here! (Though I’d still appreciate help from locals in terms of information and such. Please feel free to message me if you can spare a minute or two to talk about daily life 🙏)

What am I up to now? Looking for an on-site job in Paris as a game artist. Taking in freelance offers in the meantime (giving preference to commercial). If by chance you can help with my job search – you know what to do 🙌🏻 my DMs are open.

If you want to support me – my pa🌳on and other ways to help/donate are linked in bio. I have to warn I can’t promise any constant updates of my content though.

I of course want to thank the people who helped me through all the way♥️ Both with advice and donations they (you all, when you read this!) supported me immensely, literally keeping me going. You are the most amazing human beings, I’m grateful to you eternally, and I’m still astonished by how many you are.

I could have said much more, but for now it is what it is. Thank you for sparing a minute to read.

Small addition – I now have a life profile with pictures on Instagram – @joycetakespics. If you want, you can stop by and look at my yet-to-be magnificent collection of flower pics.

Another important part.

You might think I’ve come through a lot, but I'm in fact incredibly lucky compared to way too many other people in Ukraine.

⁉️What you can do to help not only me, but my people⁉️

First of all: Spread the information you see about war. Keep talking about it.

Both luckily and unfortunately we live at the times when awareness in social media is the greatest weapon, and the lack of it – even more so. It’s the part where you choose sides.

Secondly, donate.

There are hundreds of ways, destinations and options. Don’t ignore it if you have a coin to spare. There are reasons people ask for help, there always are.

If you won’t mind a hand at figuring out where to donate, I’ll try to share smaller Odessa volunteer accounts on insta stories (or twitter) when I can.

Oh, I'm so excited!!!

Tl;dr: The heavily revised physical edition Dreams of the Dying, my novel set in the Enderal universe, is now available for pre-order via Amazon via my website. Special early bird prices are $32.99 for the hardcover with an illustrated appendix, $12.99 for the paperback, and $2.99 for the eBook. It’s a prequel featuring Jespar, but, for reasons outlined below, opens up a new canon. Amazon.de has yet to pick up the listing for the physical editions, but they are incredibly slow—I’m working to get that done.

Hey guys,

This is Nicolas, the writer of Enderal speaking. As some of you may know, I’ve been working on an Enderal novel, Dreams of the Dying. First released as a web version, I spent the past year completely rewriting and improving the book, adding and removing chapters, revising characters arcs, and improving plotting, worldbuilding, and style. In total, I rewrote the web edition three times from cover to cover. Well, it’s finally time: Dreams of the Dying is now available for pre-order on Amazon!

The English version of Dreams of the Dying will release on October 20. A German (and perhaps Russian) translation will follow as soon as possible.

Please note that this is a rendering and that the actual hardcover looks slightly different, with same format but a matte dust jacket and a matte, laminated case. A big shoutout to Dominik Derow for the cover artwork, Johanna Krünes for her cover design, and Joyce, for her tips, patience, and help with this product shot.

Jaaros Oonai, magnate, visionary, and master of coin, doesn’t muse about whether the glass is half empty or half full—only about ways to fill it.

Jespar Dal’Varek, drifter, mercenary, and master of avoidance, doesn’t muse at all. He’d rather just drink the damn wine.

Two lives that could not be more different intertwine when a strange contract leads Jespar to the tropical island empire of Kilay, the wealthiest nation of the Civilized World.

The mission turns out to be as bizarre as it is lucrative: Jaaros Oonai, the country’s merchant king, knows something that could stop a catastrophe, but he has fallen into an inexplicable coma. Together with an ex-priestess and a psychic, Jespar must enter Oonai’s dreams and find this secret.

What should have been a fresh start rapidly turns into a nightmare, as Jespar slides into a spiral of disturbing dreams, political intrigue, and clashing ideals, where not only the fate of Kilay but his own sanity are at stake. It’s not long before he learns that only a spider’s thread divides the sleeping and the awoken.

And that there’s no greater enemy than one’s own mind.

The hardcover edition comes with an appendix that includes additional lore, such as an illustrated bestiary, a guide to Kilayan fashion, illustrations of the (re-envisioned) seven Light-Born, a short guide to the Makehu language, and much more.

Even though Dreams could be considered a prequel, I didn’t write this as an expansion or fan service but rather as my debut, and a book that stands on its own. This edition differs vastly from the web version, and, though it is up to you to judge, I’m a million times happier with it.

If you’re on the fence and would like to wait for reviews—here’s hoping I get enough—I fully understand. However, if you would buy the novel, you’d do me a great favor if you considered pre-ordering. One of the biggest challenges as an indie author is exposure; since Amazon registers all pre-orders as Day 1 sales, a lot of Day 1 sales would give me a chance to climb in the novel’s category and boost visibility for readers outside the Enderal community. To make this worth it to you, the book will sell for a special early bird price of $32.99 for the hardcover with the illustrated appendix, $12.99 for the paperback, and $2.99 for the eBook, as opposed to $37, $16, and $5. Just follow the link to my website and click pre-order—it will take you right to your local Amazon marketplace.

Unfortunately, Amazon.de has yet to pick up the listing for the physical editions, but they are incredibly slow—I’m working to get that done.

I’m aware the hardcover is in the upper price range, but it uses the best materials, and the illustrated appendix cost a lot to produce. It’s also the only edition where I make a more solid revenue, so see it as a way to support my work, if you wish.

If you’re a patron and pledged $110 or more since October 2018, I’ll be in touch a few weeks before launch to send out your signed hardcover copy right away. Thanks again for your support, Dreams became a far pricier project than I anticipated, and your patronage helped me immensely in covering the cost.

Lastly, a word of warning before you pre-order: For the paperback edition, I took the drastic step to separate Dreams and all future Enderal novels from the game canon. There are two good reasons for this. First, the Vyn games were created over 17 years, the earliest one being Myar Aranath in 2003. Fascinating as this idea may be, it also means that the lore of the Vyn universe was created by a myriad of different authors (the latest and current one being me when I joined the team in 2011). As a result of this, the lore of Vyn has always felt a little disjointed and inconsistent; I initially took these differences as challenges to conquer, but the longer I wrote, the more I realized how much these inconsistencies bothered me and how hard they made it to write the story and the universe I envisioned. Let me assure you that this decision wasn’t easy and does not reflect a lack of appreciation for the work of the previous workers. I stayed faithful to the lore whenever possible.

The second reason is a trickier one: Jespar. This character has been in my mind for nine years now, and I love him with all my heart. Still, the more I immersed myself in the story of Dreams, the more I grew aware of how incredibly constraining it was to write a story where the end is already written; because Jespar is alive in 8234 a. St. (1234 P.L. in new canon lore), you all know he will never be in real danger. Again, there is undoubtedly an intriguing challenge to writing such a “safe” story, but—similar to the lore, I increasingly felt like I was writing with fetters on. 

So, what does this mean? Aside from the fact that anything can now happen, the consequences aren’t that drastic. Enderal is still Enderal, and Jespar is still Jespar, albeit thirteen years younger and at another point in his life. I changed and expanded details about his backstory, but his essential conflicts are still the same, only refined. Major changes include modifications to the Light-Born (their aspects, how they came to be, when and how they disappeared, and the societal consequences of that disappearance), the time frame of the different eras, and a complete rework of the magic system. Minor changes include dates, the spelling of names and locations (Kilay, not Kilé), and others details I tweaked for consistency and worldbuilding coherence.

And that’s about it. I’m aware and grateful for the love many of you have for this world, and believe me, I did my best to honor it; I just realized I cannot tell a good story with one arm tied behind my back. If it’s any solace, I can promise you that new book canon is ironclad – I’m pathologically obsessive about consistency and cohesive worldbuilding, but without a solid framework, that’s a recipe for frustration and disaster. See it as a different but nearby eventuality: details and fates may differ, but the soul of the world remains the same.

If all that didn’t scare you off, pre-order away! I also set up a Goodreads page for the book, so you can add it to your To-Be-Reads or even recommend it to your friends – this is an indie project by all means, so I’m grateful for every bit of support. Please keep in mind that the Goodreads is for the revised edition, not the web edition, so if you’re planning to leave a low rating, I’d be grateful if you waited to read the actual book in October 20. It’s a different experience.

Last but not least, a big thank you to everyone who supported me on Patreon, created fanart for Enderal, or just let me know they enjoyed this game and were looking forward to the novel. This novel was meant to be a 6-month stint but, boy, did it turn into something more. It sounds sentimental, but this last year has been rough personally, and your support and encouragement kept me going.

I hope this story will live up to your expectations.

Best,

Nicolas

Dreams of the Dying (Revised Edition) on Goodreads

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Well, shit... guess I'm desperate

me, staring down ao3: ok i’m desperate for fic about this pairing but like… how desperate

OXO What is the second picture of? I'd love to hear more about the party. What did you do? Singing? Dancing? General carousing?

This would be funny if it weren't such a PITA

I'm actually getting more pornbot shit than I did before Tumblr banned smut.

How the frick do I block these lovely "followers"?

And another thing...

Why can't we block these lovely followers right from our own Activities screen? Why do I have to go to their page to block them?

Hey, Tumblr! Are you listening?

No?

Nipples ~ Cocks ~ Tits

Are you listening now??

If I hadn't had leos, I would have thought this 'shopped, but nope! That's really how they are!

Instagram: @animalwoonz

Fam PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE DEAD GODS

please please please no reblogs of exotic looking animals (ocelots, savannah cats, wolfdogs ecetera) when it is obvious these half- to fully wild animals are living as pets in someones house.

I can't talk about this enough, there are so many idiots who think they can manage wild animals only to get frustrated with them at some point because they just ARE NO PETS, and in the end it's people who work for animal welfare (like me), animal shelters and zoos who have to take over these poor creatures when it becomes clear that the owner fucked up or straight up died or got injured.

I know they look pretty and adorable and just super cool. But please don't.

My local library has a "Thingery" section with all kinds of things you can borrow... sewing machines, drones, skates, GPS units, kayaks, video recorders, laptops, telescopes... So many things to try! Libraries have reinvented themselves in the most interesting ways.

Today I learned

It’s me your lizard friend

Eeee!!! I love my little lizard friend!!

Wild horses enjoy the ocean 

(Source)