Latest Posts by dontkickmyshin - Page 7

finally posted it after months

i'm eleven chapters into a weak hero fanfic but i'm not posting it until i can think of a name

Masterlist

ao3

Weak Hero:

Weak Hero as Kpop Idols Part 1, 2, 3

it's a cruel summer (with you) (donald na x reader)

Chain of Command Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Jake friend group + thoughts

Donald Na Analysis

Donald Na Taylor Swift Analysis🤭

Chain of Command Chapter 2

~~

It was evening time, roughly around 6' o clock.

Classes had ended about an hour ago, and the hallways had started to empty out, students heading home after a long day of school. Bambi wasn't one of them.

Instead, she did what she always did after school; receive her long list of tasks from Donald Na before he went off to do business, and then work endlessly to complete said tasks before midnight. 

Manage the kids on the student council, make sure that the faculty are on the Union's side, make sure that everybody in the Union was aware of the work that they had to do (easy), and that they actually did it (not so easy). 

Pay off their commissions, collect files and money, sort through paperwork, while making sure that none of the Union members were running some sort of grand scheme behind her and Donald's back. 

And if they were, she had to investigate it. She could only pray that the boys in the Union would be satisfied with their roles, or else she guessed she'd have a lot more work to do. All of that, and more. Exhausting, but it was her job. 

The steady stream of her schoolmate’s chattering was silenced by her making her way down the hallway, as if they’d get beaten if they merely breathed in her presence. She ignored the sudden quiet, pulling out her buzzing phone. Union members, asking for their money. Greedy little bastards. 

It wouldn't kill them to wait a little while, would it?

The last few days had been hectic, to put it lightly. Asides from the trouble that the new change in management had been causing with the boys, she also had to deal with her two newfound walking headaches, Wolf Keum and Jake Ji.

The two boys were assholes, as per usual, but she was used to it being Kingsley’s problem, not hers.

 She was used to working with the much more docile (or at least, as docile a Union executive could be) and competent Forrest Lee (bless his heart), and Jimmy Bae, who although wasn’t known to be the most cooperative guy, was definitely more bearable than the other two executives. 

Especially after his ego got knocked down a peg after his fight with Ben Park, one of the few positive outcomes from his loss to Eunjang. She sighed, having reached the end of the hallway, making a sharp turn before heading down a staircase. 

If she didn’t have to bother with the Union’s reputation and all that crap, she wouldn’t mind watching Jimmy get beat up a little more if it meant that he would finally shut his mouth.

She tucked her phone back into her skirt pocket, heading down another hallway. While infuriating and intolerable, Wolf Keum actually did his work. Jake Ji on the other hand…

She remembered she had gone down to Daehyeon at the end of the week, expecting to see a detailed mandatory weekly report on Yoosun from Jake, but was instead met with the news that he had actually ignored Donald’s order and continued with the previous method of doing things.

“Oh, I actually let Jimmy Bae handle everything on his own.”

“You did what?”

She reported the issue to Donald, though she didn’t know why she even bothered, considering how he had just laughed when she told him. She rolled her eyes as she walked out of the main door, the school gate coming into view. 

Of course he did. Donald wasn’t subtle when he played favourites.

The sky above her was starting to darken, but she knew she still had a long wait till she could call it a day. Her phone buzzed; it was a message from Forrest Lee. A reply to her previous text.

i’m omw, be ready. 

Okay. 

Well, no point complaining. 

She turned on her heel, and left for Hyeongshin High.

~~

notes: this was supposed to be posted yesterday but i forgot.

if anyone is wondering why her name is bambi, it's actually just because i created her as an OC in 2020 so i could insert her into stories without having to write in second or first person. she was just created for that purpose alone but i've grown attached to her over the past two years and her character has developed and formed a personality☺️. she does have a backstory but honestly i've inserted her in so many stories belonging to so many different fandoms (not that i posted any of them) i've decided that it doesn't really matter anymore.

she's been through so many different worlds the only thing that's consistent is her personality (at least in 2022, because her personality was really different back in 2020)

she does have a real name, but i completely forgot that putting that into the story was an option because i'm so used to just calling her by her nickname.

If you’re outside the US and want to help, here are ten things you can do to protect ICWA, Indigenous children, and Tribal Sovereignty as a whole.

Share information about ICWA, Brackeen v Haaland, and Tribal Sovereignty

Share information about rallies, protests, and strategy meetings

Share the donation information of organizations that are fighting to protect ICWA

Donate to those organizations to help them continue to fight

Share the stories of Indigenous adoptees, survivors of residential schools, and the families involved in Brackeen v Haaland

Follow @protectICWA on twitter for live updates

Educate yourself on Tribal Sovereignty, residential schools and the 60s scoop, and cultural genocide as a tool of genocide.

Educate yourself on MMIP/MMIWG2S and familiarize yourself with the tactics those against Tribal Sovereignty use to undermine us.

Learn exactly who is fighting to get rid of ICWA and why. Hint: Gibson Dunn (representing the Brackeens) is the same law firm that supported the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) Now I wonder who benefits from slowly but surely removing Indigenous people from our lands? 🤔

Uplift Indigenous voices that are speaking out and speaking up on ALL platforms. Tell your friends, tell your family, and show up to support us if you can. If ICWA is struck down, we will not be going without a fight. Be prepared.

This linktree has tons of information about ICWA, why it is important, what’s at stake, and what you can do to help. Even simply sharing an article link from here to 10 followers that go on to share to their 10 followers can help!

Linktree

Protect ICWA | Twitter, Instagram | Linktree

Click to learn more about the Indian Child Welfare Act & why we must protect it.

Every Child Matters 🪶

When you ignore that it’s horrible that things like this can even happen, Elon Musk is honestly a fascinating and funny case study. Here’s a man who has built his entire reputation on:

Supposedly being highly intelligent

Never making mistakes due to point 1

If something goes wrong, it’s not his fault due to point 2

He’s coasted along on this reputation because capitalism has created an endless supply of doofuses who think anyone who has money probably did something to deserve it (he just inherited it) so all he has to do is throw money at projects that seem smart and futury and as long as they make a minor profit or produce something cool, his reputation is reinforced.

It’s not truly reinforced, obviously, because anyone with reasonable critical thinking skills can see that he’s not actually a scientist, he’s at best an investor who got lucky a couple times, and regularly takes the credit for stuff his employees make, but he’s got enough of the aforementioned doofuses that he’s gotten by so far.

He could’ve honestly kept out of the spotlight and just made infinite money if he wasn’t also an egomaniac who needs constant approval and attention. But then, for clout, he made a statement that he was going to buy Twitter. And Twitter held him to his word. And due to point 2, he can’t walk that back, because he never makes mistakes.

So now he’s lost 44 billion dollars because he couldn’t watch his mouth and cared too much about his reputation to just pay the 1 billion dollar fine to go back on his offer. So, due to point 1, he has to make it look as if he totally was going to really buy Twitter all along, and he totally has real plans for it. But Twitter is losing money, hard. So he starts looking for ways to make his money back. And somehow lands on… monetizing the system which verifies user identities…..?

No, totally a good idea, see point 2. Implementing it right away. People are misusing the new system? Not his fault, see point 3. But Twitter is largely funded by advertising, and advertisers can see what’s going on. So they start pulling out, which means Twitter just loses MORE money. Musk just dug himself a deeper hole. And now he’s just panicking while trying to convince everyone he’s got it under control. Digging deeper and deeper.

He’s fucked. He’s just totally fucked himself. And he’s taking one of the planet’s biggest social media platforms down with him. All because he can never admit making a mistake. Fucking hilarious. A cautionary tale of magnificent proportions. Tens of thousands of lives are going to be affected by this, as the platform they use to spread their work goes up in flames, and it’s horrible, but as we are suspended in the ennui, we can at least watch this moron blow up into fireworks. Amazing.

in short, think self diagnosis, after extensive research, is valid.

not everyone have access to medical professionals. not everyone have access to competent quality medical professionals. not everyone can afford. medical trauma & medical neglect exist. misdiagnosis exist. medical racism sexism misogyny. etc.

though. to add some nuance: (i am specifically addressing autism but probably applies to most self diagnosis)

1. sites like tiktok and tumblr provide important lived experience lens that hard to find any other place. often play huge part in journey! but tiktok and tumblr should not be only place you do research for self diagnosis.

further, watching one tiktok or one tumblr post is not enough for self diagnosis. know most people who self diagnose isn’t doing this, but do see some people do this.

2. there are late diagnosed autistic people with higher support needs. there are late diagnosed autistic people who are visibly developmentally disabled but their other I/DD diagnosis covered over their autism. etc.

having said that though. overwhelming majority of autistic who self diagnose who are late diagnosed. have lower support needs, are high masking, less visibly autistic. most of them lived their life in nondisabled neurotypical society, mainstreamed, go to typical school, get job, maybe job after job after job fired quit fired again—often forced to be this way, not given choice. which is all distressing. have grief about not being noticed as autistic earlier.

but. you need to know that there are early diagnosed autistic folks, some of them high support needs and/or nonspeaking minimally speaking, some of them who put in special ed, go to “special” schools, who have high support needs, who can’t or not allowed to live independently, who needs full physical assistance with bADLs, who can’t keep own basic safety, who will never able to hold typical job, etc etc… they are still autistic. just because you have trauma about being late diagnosed late identified doesn’t mean for them early diagnosis is a abuse free blessing.

early diagnosed, visibly developmentally disabled people like these often face the blunt of the violence. they are one of the most marginalized groups in our community.

some late diagnosed autistics hold privilege over some early diagnosed autistics. (note i say some—late diagnosis early diagnosis not monolith experiences.)

3. just because you are, say, autistic, doesn’t mean right this second you should be an autistic advocate, or right this second you’re qualified to. i believe all autistic people have important meaningful thing to say about own experience with autism. but being an advocate involves so much more than that.

being advocate involves constant learning, especially from people more marginalized than you and people not similar to you.

being advocate means constant self reflection, means reflect on own privilege and oppression, means reflect on own internalized ableism internalized racism, etc.

being advocate means learning to decenter self, learning how to hold space for others, learning how to apologize and take accountability.

being advocate means learning how to listen.

being advocate means learning how to take responsibility.

being an advocate means addressing own trauma and not project trauma onto others, especially other more marginalized groups.

being an advocate means acknowledging nuance.

newly realized autistics, newly self diagnosed autistics, newly professionally diagnosed autistics (who didn’t know they autistic before professional diagnosis), they all have important place in autistic community and autistic conversations. but being new to this means you have so much more to learn. and you need to learn how to do more good than harm when share own experience and do own advocacy.

4. there is a world of autism experiences beyond your own. listen to them, too.

with all that said. self diagnosis, after extensive research, is valid.

i literally cannot wrap my head around the notion that there’s been a “decline” in “real art.” that music is shitty now, that books aren’t what they used to be, etc etc etc.

art is more broadly accessible than ever. it’s unbelievable. it’s divine. there’s so much art on this planet right now that i could pile it all up on a plate and devour it for the rest of my life without making a dent. denigrating the “quality” of “today’s art” is like ordering a three course meal at your favorite restaurant and complaining about a food truck on the other side of town

Had a dream this morning that Archive of our Own had a Random button which would simply take you to a random fanfic, like Wikipedia has. (AO3 does not appear to really have this, I checked and couldn't find one, but I kinda wish they did.) Someone had started a game where whatever fic you got, that was your new fandom, which is very fun! I would love this meme in real life.

The problem came in where so many people used the button that it broke and just started sending everyone to Stealing Harry, and like...I have fond memories of Stealing Harry but it's not my best work and nobody should be assigned to be a Harry Potter fan in this day and age.

So I decide to go off and find Astolat and demand she fix this but when I finally did (there was a whole quest) she turned to me like the baddie in a horror flick and said, "But that's the most random story there is" in a dark voice and I was terrified and woke up.

In the cold light of day I know there are more random stories by me on the archive, let alone by others, but I'm not going to try to get back there to argue my case. Pretty sure whatever I spoke to was actually the demon specifically assigned to plague fandom and not Astolat at all.

I'd say "get thee behind me, demon" but I know just how many porny fics on AO3 begin with that premise. (I've written some.) Begone foul spirit, and take your Satanic Panic with you!

Chain of Command Chapter 1

Thank you to @leftbrainrotsstuff for helping me come up with a title</3

--

The air felt heavy as Donald talked. 

It always does. 

Bambi watched the room from her position behind Donald, free from his cold gaze. Her legs ached. How long had this meeting been going on again? She couldn’t remember. 

She stole a glance at her male counterpart standing next to her, resisting the urge to cross her arms over her chest, like she always did when she got impatient. Kingsley’s eyes stared straight ahead, his arms locked firmly by his sides. She scoffed inwardly. What a fucking robot.

“Bambi.” The girl blinked, pulling her focus from Kingsley’s face to her heavily tattooed boss. In front of them, a table of the most feared men in Yeongdeungpo watched wordlessly. 

“Yeah?”

“You’ll collect from Ganghak and Daehyeon from now on.”

She guessed that this was probably Donald’s method of accommodating the fact that Jimmy and Forrest were supposed to report to their fellow Union executives from now on (Wow, talk about humiliation!), while expanding her workload. A two in one deal.

Though Donald had only originally approached her to help him and Kingsley with regular secretary work, as their business and payout grew, so did their workload. And eventually, it became too much for two people alone to handle on their own. So being the most capable person for the job (that wasn’t also a thug) she moved from organising files to essentially acting as a manager pretty quickly. 

While Donald and Kingsley did all the business work, she kept an eye on the delinquents. She was the reason why everybody knew what needed to be done, to act as Donald’s eyes and ears, with her sway in Yeo-il’s student council and the observers that she had (allegedly) planted around Yeongdeungpo to report anything of interest to her. Whatever happened, she already knew. 

Well, it wasn’t like she wasn’t expecting the change in tasks.

Even if Donald hadn’t come to her before the meeting to casually throw a heads up about her new job, she wouldn't have expected Kingsley to have the time to continue collecting files with all the new business that they were getting. 

Mentally, she groaned. This was gonna take so much of her time. At least the pay is good.

(Even if she didn’t want to do it, what was she supposed to do? Tell Donald no? Get real.)

"Okay."

Donald nodded at her compliance before focusing back on the Union executives in front of him. 

“Bambi will help Wolf keep an eye on Ganghak and make sure everything goes smoothly. Anything that happens will go straight to me.”

Oh, I see what he’s doing. It seemed like Donald Na had other motives rather than just ‘expanding her workload’. She should’ve known. 

Bambi knew that Wolf Keum wasn’t foolish enough to miss the hidden threats in Donald’s words, and Donald knew it too. 

It was a warning that if Wolf tried anything, Donald would already know. To just sit nicely in his spot as the number five on the Shuttle Patch, and not to stir up any trouble. Well, after the mess that some of the executives had made recently, it would make sense to think so. 

Donald was cornering Wolf, and it was working.

Bambi watched Wolf for any sign of a reaction, his face blank as ever, though his fingers twitched in irritation at the subtle threat; a hint of his violent nature peeking out from behind the docile mask that he wore in front of Donald Na. 

She sighed softly; not loud enough for the boys to catch on to her exasperation, but just enough for Donald to hear. 

Jake Ji let out a small huff of air through his nose in knowing amusement, which seemed to rile Wolf up more, though he didn’t show it, aside from the way the corners of his lips pulled down slightly. 

Wolf nodded slowly.

“Yeah, okay.”

“That’s all for today then.” Donald stood up, satisfied. All the other boys followed suit, leaving their untouched drinks on the table, slamming the door behind them. The meeting was finally over.

i love him so much😭

tHIS MAN

can someone explain what's going on i literally have no idea

also rip eugene he's so dead lmao

i feel kinda bad for donald i was literally cringing watching him have a mental breakdown in the middle of his office like damn

this song

reminds me of them

may i present: my favourite wesper moments

wylan yelling out “don‘t!” when jesper deals in his guns while gambling with smeet, almost blowing his cover as a waiter

after genya changes wylan’s face back: “Did you have her make you better-looking?” Wylan pinked. “Maybe you forgot how handsome I am.”

wylan worrying about jesper after they’re attacked on black veil: Would Jesper be waiting when they finally got wherever they were going? Or was he lying wounded and bleeding on the floor of the tomb with no one to come to his aid? Wylan refused to believe it. […] Jesper had to survive. (helpppp i’m crying)

jesper flirting no.1: “Things are always more interesting in the dark.”

Wylan’s first thought was that this boy had the most perfectly shaped lips he’d ever seen. (hello???)

colm’s instant approval of wylan: “That‘s why he likes you. I know, I know - it’s none of my business, and I have no idea if he’d be good for you. Probably bring you ten kinds of headache. But I think you’d be good for him.”

“Maybe I liked your stupid face.” (no need to elaborate on that one)

jesper flirting no.2: “It’s brilliant.” Jesper winked. “Just like you.”

this scene in the hotel: All Wylan wanted to do was stand as close as he possibly could to him and know that he was safe. (again, i’m crying)

jesper being the absolute best support for wylan while they are visiting his mother. “Wy, listen to me. You have to pull yourself together.  Can you do this? We can leave. I can tell her you’re not up to it, or I can just go in myself. We can try to come back some-”

the fact that jesper was being super grumpy during their journey back from fjerda because wylan was “hiding out” when he literally was standing next to him the whole time

the whole first kiss scene. peak romance. and ending with:“Wylan,” Jesper said, looking into the wide blue sky of his eyes, “I really hope we don’t die.”

jesper being super angry when he finds out the reason why wylan’s father kicked him out (“He’s your son!”)

jesper flirting no.3: “Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?”

wylan being the one to jump in and lie for jesper so colm doesn’t find out about his gambling problem: “It was my fault,” Wylan blurted.

”You were pretty amazing back there, by the way.” (awww <3)

i remember when someone was complaining about their partner being late for shit allll the time and someone was like ‘oh they MUST have adhd and they just can’t help it,’ so i was like ‘hey, yeah, i have adhd, i get this, here are some things other people with adhd can do to help with this problem’

and like five different people just went ‘um time blindness is REAL and you must just not have a severe enough case :/ but there’s no fixing this’

and it’s just…….. is this how we beat ableism? by just pretending that we aren’t in control of our actions at all?

that instead of having conversations about maybe offering more leeway and empathy for people’s struggles while ALSO equipping people with better tools to help themselves

we’re just gonna go ‘yeah, actually, neurodivergent people are wholly incapable of personal will and are ruled by their neurodivergence and can’t be expected to help themselves or other people in any way.’

like i get that some things are truly harmless or truly cannot be helped but… some things… can be worked on. maybe not “cured” or “fixed” but like… worked on. and maybe we should make that info more accessible rather than pretending like its ableist to like… offer tips or  maybe not let people entirely off the hook for behaviour they can manage

So the WH reddit discord server organized our own version of Inktober called Weak-tober! Everyday, there's a prompt to start off your writing or art piece. There's no word minimum and the goal is to have fun and create more WH content^^

Please reblog and share so everyone in the fandom who might want to participate can be in the know!

Tag list below:

@writergod

@azusaluvclub

@kirameki-kumo

@bluebird990

@linreiart

@satankilledmyghostandatemyvibes

@voidnoidoid

@cupiditis

@sharlulu

@yxxrii

@y0y0tart

@adejare976

@imvriix

@dontkickmyshin

@leweebdepoche

@raggedyash

@justlittleguy

@bibibiyeye

@bossvenny

@r3dh0ll0w

feel like it's time for a new one. every reblog removes one HP from charles.

the quote retweets on misha's tweet are NOT holding back oh my god

[id: screenshots of tiktok captions. the images say, “but the only reason we still love princess diana is because she did not have the time to disappoint us.”]

begging queer kids to read up on princess diana’s involvement with the community. yes, she was a rich, pretty monarch. yes, she died young.

but the reason why queer people love her is because she used her privilege during the aids crisis to advocate for sick queer men, when very few others would - much less someone of her status.

diana spent years advocating for the health and care of queer people with hiv/aids. in 1987, at the height of the epidemic, she opened the first specialist clinic dedicated to treating aids patients (the first clinic of it’s kind in the uk).

she also fought public hysteria by hugging and shaking bare hands with aids patients, at a time when aids was thought to be spread by skin to skin contact. not only that, she visited patients in the clinic regularly and even comforted them through their sickness.

and when queen elizabeth told her to try focusing on “something more pleasant”?

diana ignored her and kept fighting.

and this is only her work towards the aids crisis. she publicly called out the royal family, brought attention to numerous world issues, and was known as an advocate for empathy and kindness. she’s known and loved as the people’s princess for good reason

capybara #130: pov he saw you holding a slice of watermelon

i geniunely can't imagine any sort of normal tragic backstory for wolf keum. in my head this man was raised by wolves in the forest as a baby before hunters found him and returned him to civilisation.

Name: Little Beepo

Skill: Fucking Miserable

Quote: Please let me have some grease from the stovetop. I’ll cry if you don’t let me have some grease. I need it.

I have been reading a bit on the OTW elections and the whole Tiffany G thing, but most of all, I've been reading comments from people supporting Tiffany saying that she just wants to clear AO3 from all the CSAM (child sexual abuse material) content and I don't know who needs to hear this but:

If someone comes to a predominantly QUEER space (like AO3) and tells you that censorship is necessary to eradicate CSAM... it's not actually CSAM they want to eradicate...

I've seen this type of discourse about Pride and about queer literature and queer movies and queer communities. It's a tried and true technique of the right and conservative movements.

First, they say there is a DANGER to the community through CSAM and they conflate the actual threat of CSAM in the community (we all know someone who thinks that writing a love story between two characters who are 16 is CSAM...), and make you believe that censorship is the only way to PROTECT THE CHILDREN. And since most people are (rightly) mind-bogled at having to explain that of course they don't support CSAM content, they bow down and accept the censorship for the greater good, without anyone actually trying to have a conversation about what qualifies as CSAM (which needs to, you know, actually involve real children and not fictional characters who are 17 and losing their virginity with their crush in a Mature-rated story about high school football and first love based on the author's own experience of losing their virginity at 17 to their crush in high school).

Then, they tell you that there are other forms of DISTURBING CONTENT, and what they really mean is porn that THEY find disturbing, for ex, (and I kid you not, I have seen comments like that) porn featuring disabled characters, which they consider to encourage the exploitation of vulnerable individuals, or BDSM porn (which supposedly encourages violence and lack of consent), or rough porn, or any kind of porn that isn't two (preferably white and skinny) able-bodied people doing it missionary style while lovingly gazing in each other's eyes. SO TO PROTECT VIEWERS, that needs to be banned as well.

And then, they tell you that even that sanitized version of porn is still porn and that people under 18 or under 21 or under whatever age they consider too young to view anything sexual regardless of the fact that not all countries have the same law about the age of maturity, should be free to surf the site without having to *gasp* filter out properly tagged works. So TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN, every explicit content is censored.

And then finally, when all that is left is a sanitized, white-washed, ableist, puritan type of content featuring General-Audience approved gay works of two nice men or two nice women holding hands and chastely kissing each other on the lips... Well guess what? :) CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE EXPOSED TO QUEER CONTENT SO WE NEED TO BAN THAT AS WELL, and since we've basically done purge after purge before and there are still a handful of people on the website, well surely they won't mind/care anymore, will they?

It's not just a slippery slope, it's something that has been done time and again, and that is why censorship on AO3 will never, never have a positive outcome.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Weak Hero is really good but there’s like no responsible adults in that webtoon lmao

Excuse the inconsistent art style, these were drawn at different points in time

this shouldn’t have to be said but if someone who struggles with cognitive issues such as fibro fog, autism or adhd etc has difficulty speaking or getting their point across, do not point it out. im talking about stuttering, misremembering words and definitions, using the wrong words in place of other ones, mixing up words or merging them together. you are allowed to help us find the right word but wait for us to ask first and give us a chance to find it ourselves. blurting out random words causes a lot more confusion for us and we often end up losing our train of thought.

also, in a similar vein, we may pause to think about what we’re going to say next, and it’s important that you not interrupt. for me, my train of thought is already on the verge of derailing. if i stop talking mid-sentence, give me a second to find my words and sort out my jumbled mess of a brain. don’t start speaking like we’ve finished our sentence and please don’t just abandon the conversation. it’s very frustrating, especially when you make jokes or tease us for forgetting words or misspeaking and it makes it much harder for us to get to our point. and tbh it’s embarrassing and it sucks because our brains aren’t doing what we want or need them to do and we don’t need a reminder every time it happens.

like the jokes might seem harmless or lighthearted but it hurts nonetheless because we are constantly in a struggle against our own brains. it seems like it should be such an obvious thing, not to tease or make fun of someone with cognitive issues, but so many people do it, including some of you who don’t think you do— particularly if you don’t think the reason behind it is a disability. it’s not the same as joking about your friend making a typo in the group chat. those are minor slip-ups and they happen to everyone. for a lot of us, they’re constant. we’re almost always trying to get our brains to work with us rather than against us and pointing it out only makes it that much harder to concentrate on actually articulating our thoughts instead of focusing purely on avoiding misspeaking so you won’t point it out again. obviously this will vary from person to person, not everyone with these symptoms feels the same way i do, but i think it’s a good rule of thumb to just. not interrupt and/or draw unnecessary/unwanted attention to our speech problems. i don’t think it’s too much to ask.

A real conversation I think the Crows would have specifically to fuck with Kaz….

New pigeon: I’ve heard stories of Dirtyhands but it seems impossible that he could have done so much when he’s still so young. How does he do it?

Kaz: *quiet bc he’s a man a of mystery and theatrics*

Nina: bc he’s a fair man ❤️

Jesper: and the power of friendship ❤️

Wylan: and his acceptance of other people ❤️

Kaz: ?????

Inej: it’s true. He very easily got the best crew in Kerch. Why? He offered fair deals for us to join the crew - right Nina?

Nina: So generous. So kind. He sent a pretty girl to climb through my window too. How could I refuse?

Inej: He recognized the potential and skills of those more easily overlooked.

Wylan, putting a hand over his heart: I never thought anyone would take a merchant’s son seriously in the barrel. But Kaz really has an open heart. It made me so happy to make bombs for him.

Inej: and he knows how to treat those important to him.

Jesper: the man didn’t even kill me once. Could have. Should have. But there’s just too much love in his heart. It's to be expected. He's so close with his parents-

Pigeon: he is? Really?

Nina: haven't you heard? He honors his father daily-

Jesper: and, still lives with his mother-

Kaz: .....get out.

Nina: Inej didn't get her turn to say you're the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world tho.

Inej, very seriously: the bestest.

*ungodly laughter as they get kicked out of the Crow Club*

X

this was amazing

I think a lot about The Bathroom Scene™ and how Kaz's selfless actions towards Inej are contrasted with their discussion about whether he's any different from Pekka, but Chapter 26 as a whole also does a lot to show how much Kaz cares about all of his Crows and not just Inej. He spends a lot of time in that chapter thinking about how he's probably about to die, and yet he does everything in his power to make sure his Crows get out alive.

He specifically zeroes on Inej's safety, of course (because when isn't Kaz focused on her?) but his actions, dialogue, and internal monologue are all entirely centered around how guilty he feels for getting everyone into this mess and how desperate he is to make sure he's the only collateral damage of his own scheme at the end of the day:

Kaz sits down and (more or less) fully explains his entire plan to the Crows instead of keeping them in the dark

Kaz gives Jesper's dad the only protection he's still able to give: his own family's name and reputation

Kaz ruminates on why he called Jesper by his brother's name and implicitly acknowledges that it's because he's scared to recognize Jordie in Jesper (that he's afraid to lose another brother)

Kaz thinks "But they’d landed in a trap, and if he had to chew his paw off to get them out of it, then that was what he would do."

Kaz pays off Inej's contract by liquidating "every asset he had" and explicitly tells her "I don't want you to be beholden to Per Haskell. Or me."

Kaz tells Inej about his emergency money stash and charges her with getting everyone out of the city safely if he doesn't come back from the Slat

Kaz tells her "Whatever happens to me, survive this city. Get your ship, have your vengeance, carve your name into their bones. But survive this mess I’ve gotten us into."

Kaz leaves on a suicide mission, telling Inej not to follow, because if he's going to die he wants to be the only one in active danger

And of course Kaz had already offered to serve himself up on a silver platter to the stadwatch and give them a way out even before he came up with the auction plan (though we don't get Kaz's point of view of The Clocktower Fight, I suspect it's also why he picked that fight with Jesper: he knew Jesper would never leave him to die unless he made him mad enough to "walk away" for once in his life).

What separates Kaz from other Barrel Bosses like Pekka isn't just that he would never sell a person or con/otherwise harm children. It's that at his lowest, when all the bravado and scheming and masks are stripped away, Kaz chooses to put himself on the line and sacrifice his own safety over putting his people in any more danger than they have to be. Because despite his ruthlessness and casual assholery, Kaz simply doesn't have it in him to watch those he cares about get hurt if he can prevent it. He ended Chapter 26 saying he intended to leave damage behind when he's gone, but also spent the entirety of the Geldrunner chapters spending time and effort and money he didn't have to minimize the damage as much as possible for his friends (his new family) if the worst should happen to him.

So he gives them a safe place to land where the gangs won't find them. He tries to push them away and make them mad enough that they won't grieve him when he dies. He gives them multiple ways out even if none of those options guarantee his own safety. He gives them money and as much safety as he can provide with the whole city out for their blood. He gives Inej her freedom. And he gives them time to rest, recharge, and prepare for whichever plan they end up doing while he goes off to stage a coup he's not sure he'll come back from.

This is all to say: Kaz could never be Pekka, no matter how tough of a game he talks about burning everything to the ground, because Kaz cares too much to ever become Pekka. Even as he continues to pretend not to care about anything but the money, his love for his city and his Crows are baked into every one of his thoughts and actions in those chapters. Unlike Pekka, who flees first Ketterdam and then Kerch entirely when his son is in (percieved) danger, Kaz stays to fight for the city he bent to his will. And unlike Per Haskell, who lets other people do his dirty work and sells out at the first opportunity for glory, Kaz puts himself on the front lines first even when doing so comes at a great cost to himself.

Pekka chases money and power for their own sake. Per Haskell chases money and power for the decadence, glory, and laziness it allows him to get away with. Kaz chases money and power because he knows what it's like to be powerless and wants to, in his own weird way, protect others from suffering his trauma and himself from losing anyone else he cares about. And that's why even at his most unhinged Kaz could never become Pekka Rollins: his quest for power and fame and riches comes from a fundamentally different place. Kaz Brekker doesn't need a reason, but he has at least five at all times during the course of the duology...and while those reasons are often filtered through his primary reason (Inej's freedom, safety, and happiness), none of them are ever far from his mind.

Random MelloMatt HCs

-Mello and Near call each other when they're stuck on the daily crossword. The phone calls consist of:

N: Eight letter word for stubborn. Fourth letter is U.

M: Obdurate.

N: That's the one. Ciao.

----- next day -----

M: Can you please, for the love of fuck give me a hint as to what the pissing answer for 22 across could be?? I haven't got a fucking clue. Matt insists its Impermeable but I KNOW he's wrong.

N: Matt is correct.

M: Motherfucker! Peice of shit fucking paper! Bye Near, I hope you have a terrible day. Matt says hi.

-Matt is a spontaneous gifter. Not only is he great at buying random gifts for Mello when he leaves the house, but he's also great at making them. Like out of nowhere he'll whip out a mini origami crane and give it to Mello and say something lame yet endearing like

"Hey, hi I made you something. Hope you like it. 🙂" And everytime Matt does it, Mello's heart does 10 million summersaults and he feels so loved he could cry.

But Matt also uses his gifts for 'evil' if he feels like being a little shit. He'll walk up to Mello and be all sweet like: "Hey Mels, I have a gift for you. 😇" And Mello is presented with a surprisingly detailed sketch of a butt. When he asks who's butt it is, Matt tells him it's Near's (it's not, but that doesn't stop Mello from physically recoilling at the mental image that brings up) and Mello doesn't speak to him for the rest of the day. This is Matt's favorite way of pranking Mello bc there's a 50/50 chance Mello will either laugh about it or become instantly furious with him. Either outcome is hilarious to Matt because Mello's reactions are priceless. One morning, Matt drew a mini comic of Roger as the Ice King from Adventure Time and Mello laughed so hard orange juice came out of his nose.

Mello ofc saves and cherishes all of Matt's little gifts. He has a sizable jewelry box that's filled with random origami, love notes, doodles/sketches, mini dream catchers, friendship bracelets, and a litany of other crafty gifts. Some are from when they were kids but most of them are recent. The few from the Kira case are the ones Mello appreciates the most. It reminds him of how even during the darkest moments of his life, he had Matt by his side; loving him and giving him dumb, cute little gifts.

Mello isn't very good at making stuff, but he does give Matt an occasional note or scribbly doodle. Sometimes they spend the whole day passing notes and sketches to each other. Most of the time they try to make each other laugh, but they'll occasionally slip in something romantic or sweet. Or spicy, to keep things interesting 👀

-Mello sends Matt selfies whenever he leaves the house. It's always random; most of the time they're thirst traps but sometimes he'll send a close up of him making a goofy face or rolling his eyes. When he goes clothes shopping he sends Matt pics of all the outfits he likes. Matt always responds with some kind of emoji, meme, or selfie of his own.

Matt adores all of the selfies and has a whole folder on his phone and computer dedicated to them. When he's sad or missing Mello, he'll scroll through them and it always cheers him up. He also sets them as the backgrounds on his phone and changes them like every other day bc he can never decide which one is his favorite (they're all his favorites ofc). Matt usually sets the goofy/unflattering selfies of Mello as his background bc it's rare to have a picture of him being silly, but Mello throws a fit whenever he notices it 😂

...

Enjoy some random hcs!

As some of you may know, these past few weeks were pretty rough on me and my family. Everything's alright now, but things were scary for a while. Now that everything has settled down, I'm feeling more like myself again so I've been trying to get back into writing. I'm starting out small with some dumb fluffy head canons, so I may make a few tiny posts here and there. Also I'm starting to write out the next fic request! I promise I haven't forgotten 😅 many apologies for the wait, but life got in the way.

Love you all, take care!!!