Weak Hero As Idols Pt.2

the cutest pair

BREAKING MY HIATUS JUST TO SHOVE THIS IN YOUR FACES like they're so cute I don't think you understand !!

we’re up to 4.

Source

Video of Tama

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in short, think self diagnosis, after extensive research, is valid.

not everyone have access to medical professionals. not everyone have access to competent quality medical professionals. not everyone can afford. medical trauma & medical neglect exist. misdiagnosis exist. medical racism sexism misogyny. etc.

though. to add some nuance: (i am specifically addressing autism but probably applies to most self diagnosis)

1. sites like tiktok and tumblr provide important lived experience lens that hard to find any other place. often play huge part in journey! but tiktok and tumblr should not be only place you do research for self diagnosis.

further, watching one tiktok or one tumblr post is not enough for self diagnosis. know most people who self diagnose isn’t doing this, but do see some people do this.

2. there are late diagnosed autistic people with higher support needs. there are late diagnosed autistic people who are visibly developmentally disabled but their other I/DD diagnosis covered over their autism. etc.

having said that though. overwhelming majority of autistic who self diagnose who are late diagnosed. have lower support needs, are high masking, less visibly autistic. most of them lived their life in nondisabled neurotypical society, mainstreamed, go to typical school, get job, maybe job after job after job fired quit fired again—often forced to be this way, not given choice. which is all distressing. have grief about not being noticed as autistic earlier.

but. you need to know that there are early diagnosed autistic folks, some of them high support needs and/or nonspeaking minimally speaking, some of them who put in special ed, go to “special” schools, who have high support needs, who can’t or not allowed to live independently, who needs full physical assistance with bADLs, who can’t keep own basic safety, who will never able to hold typical job, etc etc… they are still autistic. just because you have trauma about being late diagnosed late identified doesn’t mean for them early diagnosis is a abuse free blessing.

early diagnosed, visibly developmentally disabled people like these often face the blunt of the violence. they are one of the most marginalized groups in our community.

some late diagnosed autistics hold privilege over some early diagnosed autistics. (note i say some—late diagnosis early diagnosis not monolith experiences.)

3. just because you are, say, autistic, doesn’t mean right this second you should be an autistic advocate, or right this second you’re qualified to. i believe all autistic people have important meaningful thing to say about own experience with autism. but being an advocate involves so much more than that.

being advocate involves constant learning, especially from people more marginalized than you and people not similar to you.

being advocate means constant self reflection, means reflect on own privilege and oppression, means reflect on own internalized ableism internalized racism, etc.

being advocate means learning to decenter self, learning how to hold space for others, learning how to apologize and take accountability.

being advocate means learning how to listen.

being advocate means learning how to take responsibility.

being an advocate means addressing own trauma and not project trauma onto others, especially other more marginalized groups.

being an advocate means acknowledging nuance.

newly realized autistics, newly self diagnosed autistics, newly professionally diagnosed autistics (who didn’t know they autistic before professional diagnosis), they all have important place in autistic community and autistic conversations. but being new to this means you have so much more to learn. and you need to learn how to do more good than harm when share own experience and do own advocacy.

4. there is a world of autism experiences beyond your own. listen to them, too.

with all that said. self diagnosis, after extensive research, is valid.

Chain of Command Chapter 2

~~

It was evening time, roughly around 6' o clock.

Classes had ended about an hour ago, and the hallways had started to empty out, students heading home after a long day of school. Bambi wasn't one of them.

Instead, she did what she always did after school; receive her long list of tasks from Donald Na before he went off to do business, and then work endlessly to complete said tasks before midnight. 

Manage the kids on the student council, make sure that the faculty are on the Union's side, make sure that everybody in the Union was aware of the work that they had to do (easy), and that they actually did it (not so easy). 

Pay off their commissions, collect files and money, sort through paperwork, while making sure that none of the Union members were running some sort of grand scheme behind her and Donald's back. 

And if they were, she had to investigate it. She could only pray that the boys in the Union would be satisfied with their roles, or else she guessed she'd have a lot more work to do. All of that, and more. Exhausting, but it was her job. 

The steady stream of her schoolmate’s chattering was silenced by her making her way down the hallway, as if they’d get beaten if they merely breathed in her presence. She ignored the sudden quiet, pulling out her buzzing phone. Union members, asking for their money. Greedy little bastards. 

It wouldn't kill them to wait a little while, would it?

The last few days had been hectic, to put it lightly. Asides from the trouble that the new change in management had been causing with the boys, she also had to deal with her two newfound walking headaches, Wolf Keum and Jake Ji.

The two boys were assholes, as per usual, but she was used to it being Kingsley’s problem, not hers.

 She was used to working with the much more docile (or at least, as docile a Union executive could be) and competent Forrest Lee (bless his heart), and Jimmy Bae, who although wasn’t known to be the most cooperative guy, was definitely more bearable than the other two executives. 

Especially after his ego got knocked down a peg after his fight with Ben Park, one of the few positive outcomes from his loss to Eunjang. She sighed, having reached the end of the hallway, making a sharp turn before heading down a staircase. 

If she didn’t have to bother with the Union’s reputation and all that crap, she wouldn’t mind watching Jimmy get beat up a little more if it meant that he would finally shut his mouth.

She tucked her phone back into her skirt pocket, heading down another hallway. While infuriating and intolerable, Wolf Keum actually did his work. Jake Ji on the other hand…

She remembered she had gone down to Daehyeon at the end of the week, expecting to see a detailed mandatory weekly report on Yoosun from Jake, but was instead met with the news that he had actually ignored Donald’s order and continued with the previous method of doing things.

“Oh, I actually let Jimmy Bae handle everything on his own.”

“You did what?”

She reported the issue to Donald, though she didn’t know why she even bothered, considering how he had just laughed when she told him. She rolled her eyes as she walked out of the main door, the school gate coming into view. 

Of course he did. Donald wasn’t subtle when he played favourites.

The sky above her was starting to darken, but she knew she still had a long wait till she could call it a day. Her phone buzzed; it was a message from Forrest Lee. A reply to her previous text.

i’m omw, be ready. 

Okay. 

Well, no point complaining. 

She turned on her heel, and left for Hyeongshin High.

~~

notes: this was supposed to be posted yesterday but i forgot.

if anyone is wondering why her name is bambi, it's actually just because i created her as an OC in 2020 so i could insert her into stories without having to write in second or first person. she was just created for that purpose alone but i've grown attached to her over the past two years and her character has developed and formed a personality☺️. she does have a backstory but honestly i've inserted her in so many stories belonging to so many different fandoms (not that i posted any of them) i've decided that it doesn't really matter anymore.

she's been through so many different worlds the only thing that's consistent is her personality (at least in 2022, because her personality was really different back in 2020)

she does have a real name, but i completely forgot that putting that into the story was an option because i'm so used to just calling her by her nickname.

I just realized something

Collective amnesia makes us feel as if there are no bi people in history. That is, until we see that bi people have been there all along, they’ve just been mislabeled or left out of the narrative. Bisexuality is the sexual and/or romantic attraction to multiple genders. Nestled within the term bisexual are other labels, including pansexual, omnisexual, and polysexual. Which term people use is almost entirely down to preference, although sometimes the choice is driven by an ahistorical misconception that the bi in bisexual reinforces a gender binary and excludes trans and nonbinary people.

One reason why we might “forget” bisexuals is because those who are attracted to people of multiple genders rarely call themselves bi. Historically, there have been a number of reasons for this, including wanting to avoid discrimination and stigma. There have long been toxic misconceptions of bisexual people as promiscuous and unfaithful, in a confused state of sexual transition or experimentation, lying about their attractions for attention or to attract men (particularly bi women), or simply adhering to some sort of trend (particularly young people).

Being bi could also get you kicked out of your local queer space. Bisexuality introduces nuance, which has always made it easier to discard than accommodate it. In tough times, when queer people were fighting for their lives and for basic legal protections, some gay rights groups strategically rejected bisexual people. For example, in the 1970s there were instances where the Gay Liberation Front, a queer-rights group, treated bisexual people as effectively straight, and thus associated them with regressive politics and edged them out of the organization.

But historians have never let a lack of self-labeling prevent them from trying to find queer people in history. People also shied away from terms like gay or lesbian, and yet we can find many books on their history. Still, it was only when I went back to university for a master’s in queer history that I realized that the absence of bisexuality in most versions of LGBTQ+ history wasn’t because there were no bi people in the past. Rather, that lack of knowledge is the result of an overcompensation for compulsory heterosexuality, which has meant that most people with homosexual desires in the U.S. were forced to live lives that involved heterosexual sex and relationships.

In the search for queer lives in the past, one way that academics have dealt with this is to assume that people who had any kind of same-sex desires or sex must have been gay or lesbian, even if they were also in heterosexual relationships. Partly because of this, the term bisexual is often entirely absent from historians’ writings. By doing so, we are systematically mislabeling people who were attracted to multiple genders, erasing bi history. When we untether bisexual people from their own past, we obscure the ways in which bisexuality is a cornerstone of the human experience.

Here are some important people in bi history you should know:

The bisexuality researchers you need to know

One of the earliest researchers to legitimize the study of bisexual people was Havelock Ellis (1859-1939). Ellis was based in the U.K., and in the 1927 edition of his book Sexual Inversion, he describes many case studies of bisexual people. He includes some negative stereotypes, but also some decidedly positive ones. For example, he wrote that bi women made “great religious and moral leaders.” It is these kinds of positive statements that led to the first edition of his book being ruled “obscene” in an English court because he dared to write about queer lives without condemning them. It took him multiple attempts to get the book published.

Probably the most famous sex researcher of all time was Alfred Kinsey (1894-1956). He was a biologist at Indiana University who introduced nuance into the discussion of sexuality. His Kinsey Scale allows us to categorize sexuality as a number between 0 and 6, from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual. In his famous mid-20th century studies, he shocked the world when he found that a huge number of people (he often stated “a quarter to half”) had homosexual and heterosexual desires. He also openly criticized other researchers who assumed that people could only be either gay or straight, and spoke of the “endless intergradations” that captured the reality of people’s sexualities.

Following in Kinsey’s footsteps, Fritz Klein (1932-2006) was a sex researcher and psychiatrist who published the book, The Bisexual Option, in 1978. He was a bisexual man himself, and he started a group for bisexual men to help them feel secure in their own sexuality; that practice grew into affirmative therapy that would help many people better understand their own sexual behaviors and identity. The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid is an expanded version of the Kinsey Scale. Klein also set up the Journal of Bisexuality and the American Institute of Bisexuality, which both continue to further bi research today. These organizations have been fundamental in giving a home to research and writing on bisexuality.

Bi activists who fought for queer rights

There have also been a number of tireless activists who have fought for queer and bisexual rights, including Brenda Howard (1946-2005). Howard is sometimes referred to as the “mother of pride” because after the Stonewall uprising, she played a major role in organizing the first marches of LGBT+ people, which laid the foundations for global Pride marches.

Another activist who worked in some of the same groups as Howard, and continues their work today, is Lani Ka’ahumanu (born in 1943). Ka’ahumanu has been a leader of the bisexual rights movement in the U.S. since 1980. She founded a number of groups that were specifically for bisexual people, which was particularly important given the shaky history between bi people and gay and lesbian communities. Ka’ahumanu created safe political spaces where bi people didn’t need to justify their sexuality or their inclusion. To this effect, in 1983, she co-founded BiPOL, one of the first bisexual political action groups in the country; she later co-coordinated the San Francisco Bay Area Bisexual Network. Ka’ahumanu is also a major reason why the B is included in LGBT, because of her campaigning in the leadup to the 1993 March on Washington.

Other people who are still fighting for bi visibility and protections today include activist Robyn Ochs, who wrote the most widely cited definition of bisexuality; New York Times columnist Charles Blow, who fights for bi visibility including in the Black community; and Kyrsten Sinema, who was the first openly bisexual person elected to Congress in 2012.

The main thing that people get wrong about the history of bisexuality is assuming that there is none. As more people embrace bisexual identities, I expect there will be a new thirst for knowledge, followed by a quenching wave of bisexual stories uncovered from the archives of history.

By uncovering previously untold accounts, and re-telling the stories of people previously too eagerly labeled gay and lesbian, bisexual people will finally be able to remember some of the pieces of their own history.

Dr. Julia Shaw is a criminal psychologist at University College London and part of Queer Politics at Princeton University which works for LGBT+ equality, democracy, and civil rights. She is actively involved in bisexual research and is the founder of the international Bisexual Research Group. Shaw’s latest book, Bi: The Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality, is set to be released on June 28.

A real conversation I think the Crows would have specifically to fuck with Kaz….

New pigeon: I’ve heard stories of Dirtyhands but it seems impossible that he could have done so much when he’s still so young. How does he do it?

Kaz: *quiet bc he’s a man a of mystery and theatrics*

Nina: bc he’s a fair man ❤️

Jesper: and the power of friendship ❤️

Wylan: and his acceptance of other people ❤️

Kaz: ?????

Inej: it’s true. He very easily got the best crew in Kerch. Why? He offered fair deals for us to join the crew - right Nina?

Nina: So generous. So kind. He sent a pretty girl to climb through my window too. How could I refuse?

Inej: He recognized the potential and skills of those more easily overlooked.

Wylan, putting a hand over his heart: I never thought anyone would take a merchant’s son seriously in the barrel. But Kaz really has an open heart. It made me so happy to make bombs for him.

Inej: and he knows how to treat those important to him.

Jesper: the man didn’t even kill me once. Could have. Should have. But there’s just too much love in his heart. It's to be expected. He's so close with his parents-

Pigeon: he is? Really?

Nina: haven't you heard? He honors his father daily-

Jesper: and, still lives with his mother-

Kaz: .....get out.

Nina: Inej didn't get her turn to say you're the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world tho.

Inej, very seriously: the bestest.

*ungodly laughter as they get kicked out of the Crow Club*

Since it's autism acceptance month i better not see any Near hate.