“You Didn’t Want To Just Focus On One Of Them To Really Hone Your Skills?” It Wasn’t Intended

"I...I am rambling..." Julia conceded, a small smile on her lips as she sat down because eh knew it was something she had a tendency to do. More often than not it was when she was talking about something medical related but apparently it could also be to do with lighthouses. "I know what you mean...there is something much more whimsical. Then again the wind farms are more practical, so it depends which takes precedence at any one time in your mind." Always one to undercut herself when she was worried her notion held too little practicality because she had been brought up to believe if she spoke it needed to have an actual purpose.

"We could do that - maybe. Sure, if they have snow cones I could go for one of those. Come on, i'll come with you." Moving to stand up, dusting the sand off her clothes. @tctteredwings

"You're rambling," mused Ana, her brows lifting in amusement as she wagged her finger at the other. Not that she really minded, of course, but she couldn't help but tease. "I love lighthouses, though, I kind of wish it was one..." A pause and she frowned thoughtfully. "We should go on a mission sometime to see as many as we can around here." As Julia got herself comfy, she smiled. "It might be... or a slushie."

Julia rolled her eyes, laughing softly, sure while he was technically right that didn’t mean she wouldn’t have made it his problem if it had actually happened. Just to make a point. “Oh really? Look at you - passing judgment on other hard working medical professionals. Although I did see Doctor Fitz as I was leaving so I can’t say you’re wrong.” Looking through the box as she spoke, considering her options, ending up going for the biggest, gooiest one in there so she could really indulge, nodding her head as she took a big bite. “I know - shocking isn’t it? Funnily enough I like my coffee to taste like…well … coffee.” Nodding as she gestured for them to head off, taking another bite of the pastry. God it was good. “How was your shift?” @dannyhq

"sorry," he couldn't help but laugh despite his apology. "but, uh... technically incorrect because i'm off work now. you'd be someone else's problem," a flash of a mischievous smile. "though i honestly wouldn't recommend havin' a heart attack right now, with that staff on shift." danny steadied the box as julia looked through it, shrugging off her gratitude -- of course he saved her some, it was only the fair thing to do. otherwise the whole lot would've been gone in seconds, and the one person left who actually helped that patient, would miss out. "you deserve it," he countered simply. "oh what? you're tellin' me you don't like coffee that somehow tastes like ass? so weird." a brief pause. "yes, inkwells. absolutely. you got everythin' you need?"

Julia smiled, a real smile that filtered up to her eyes making them warm, because something sweet like that for no other reason than being kind was…unexpected. She appreciated it through, immediately warming to the man in front of her. “I’m going to consider it a good sign for my day moving forward. As for needing it…you aren’t wrong. I’m a doctor, just came off a fourteen hour shift, so this out of nowhere kindness is something I didn’t know I needed but it turns out maybe I very much did.” A soft laugh as she pushed a hand through her bedraggled hair, sighing just after. His playful nature was refreshing after the weight of everything that was going on at work. “Is this something you do often, Sebastian? Showing kindness to strangers in the form of caffeine?” @sebastianxwinters

Sebastian smiled over at Julia who had just now introduced who she was. He thought she was pretty. Of course not his taste and god knows what was going on with Austin now. The two had gotten cozy with one another and he was incredibly happy for that but his actions lately could've jeopardized that drastically. "Nice to meet you as well, Julia." He replied as he then chuckled at her question. "Well I guess I just wanted to do something nice for somebody and you happened to be the luckily one and it seems that I picked well because you seem to need it." He replied, sliding her a playful smirk. @doctorjuliasato

[ Midori Francis, cis female, she/her ] — whoa! JULIA SATO just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for THREE MONTHS, working as a PAEDIATRIC DOCTOR. that can’t be easy, especially at only 33 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit PEDANTIC and GUARDED, but i know them to be EXTRAORDINARY and PATIENT. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to BROOKLYN! 

Tw: Unwanted pregnancy, adoption, trauma

Julia wasn’t born wanting to be a doctor, she didn’t grow up playing doctor, but little did she know it was always on the cards for her. Pushed from a young age to focus closely on her academics she had two choices - doctor or lawyer, and in the end she chose the former. Her father was a well known cardiovascular surgeon and her mother one of New York’s top OBGYN, so it was hardly surprising when their only daughter was said to have her eyes set on medical school (Even if they were telling people long before Julia had any idea that’s what was happening.)

They tended to do that though. The pair of them would decide on something and before you knew it that was exactly what was happening, it was a control thing they loved to have, and it overflowed into every aspect of their daughter’s life. On the most part Julia was a sweet, normal child, she did well in school and didn’t make too many waves that drew extra attention to herself. With a select circle of friends - she was the girl you wanted to be in group projects with because it meant the ball wasn’t going to be dropped, you would have a finished project bang on time, and the lettering on the poster board would be impeccable to boot. Well if you’re going to do something you might as well do it properly, she knew the past of least resistance in her family was to excel so she didn’t put up a fuss. Just knuckling down to do what was expect of her. It wasn’t a miserable existence, did she get to go to as many social events as the rest of her classmates? Maybe not, but she never felt she was being deprived of anything. 

That was until she met and fell for Leo West. The two had been in the same grade for their entire school life but it wasn’t until they turned fifteen that their paths properly crossed and Julia’s eyes were suddenly opened to a world beyond her school books and music lessons. He had an freedom she had never been around before but wanted more of as soon as she’d been exposed, and it wasn’t long before (much to her parents disapproval) the two were dating. Julia’s first romance and it was a total whirlwind of infatuation and codependence they were inseparable and soon became a package deal. Even as she continued to study hard, it wasn’t with the same dedication that she’d had before and both the Sato parents started to notice, concern growing that this boy was turning their daughter’s head in the wrong direction. Not that they ever acted upon that thought - but they certainly made it known to Julia. Leo was due to go away on a year abroad once he finished high school and the Sato parents had already decided that this would be the end of their daughters relationship with him. And just like that he left when summer broke that year and Julia was back to focusing her attention onto her studies. 

Kinda. 

About three weeks later it was discovered that she was pregnant. A total disaster in her parents eyes the girl was made to go through with the pregnancy, hiding it for the most part thanks to her mother’s medical field, and the baby was put up for adoption the moment it came into he world. Never up for debate. Julia never got to hold it, they never even told her what she’d had. Instead she was just expected to go back to her studies as if nothing had happened without any kind of mental health or trauma support, and she did. But she was never the same. By the time Leo came home from his time abroad (which ended up going from one year to two) she had left for medical school so her parents didn't have to worry about the two of them reconnecting.

That was sixteen years ago and even after earning a place at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, a placement at Boston Children’s Hospital, and finally getting a job offer she couldn’t refuse back in her home town of New York, she still felt totally lost. So to combat it she threw herself into her work without letting up for a second, no time to think meant no time to hurt. At least with this career she could help children in a way she could never help her own child, but that didn’t stop her eyes from lingering a couple of seconds longer on kids that came in with features that reminded her of Leos’, wondering what had happened to their son or daughter. 

Wound tight, laser focused, a stickler for detail, and well overdue for everything she’d squished down to the depths of her soul and darkest parts of her brain to come bursting out, there was really no telling when this ticking time bomb was going to go off. 

It was incredibly rare for someone to be this sweet out of nowhere, plus she had just come off a long shift, so sentences weren’t coming easily to her either way. It was an embarrassment really and Julia internally chastised herself for that. At least her name was something she could get a solid grasp on. “Julia, nice to meet you Sebastian.” Thank you, for this, it’s really very kind of you. What inspired this?”  @sebastianxwinters

Sebastian looked over at her and she was failing to complete a simple sentence. That just proved how rare it was for someone to do something nice around here. Maybe that's how Sebastian was going to receive forgiveness for the horrible things he had been doing lately. As she ordered her drink, Sebastian then spoke to the barista, "Sebastian." He said and then handed over his card and then stepped to the side before looking back at the other woman slightly, "The name is Sebastian. What about yourself?" He asked her. @doctorjuliasato

This was frustrating Julia no end, she couldn’t get the lines to go where she wanted them to, and the ability to allow artistic flair to take ahold of her was something she found totally impossible. She’d spent almost as much time erasing lines as she had drawing them, the whole while a small frown line between her eyebrows as she beavered away. The woman could feel Audi’s eyes moving onto her every so often but she didn’t do the same, instead drawing the face she knew as well as her own, from memory. Her bottom lip had been pulled between her teeth as she hummed under her breath without realising she was doing it. A sign of concentration. When words were finally spoken however, she looked up, coming back into the room in a slight daze. The sweet, compassionate words that came from the other were something she herself found difficult, expressing emotion verbally, but she knew it was reciprocated which was why there was no pressure to do so. “I don’t think I’m going to have done any better so as long as you agree to grant me forgiveness before I let you see this, then I’m happy to do the same for you.” Leaning forward she took the picture, swapping it with her own so her own shame could be revealed. “I mean, I had no idea my head was that shape but I really like the top you’ve put me in…” Julia laughed a little as she took in what was before her, still thinking it was head and shoulders better than her own. “I didn’t even get to colouring, did you know you have a very hard nose to draw? It’s so…specific.” Taking things far to seriously as per usual. 

status:  closed, ft. julia. ( @drjuliarebeiro ) location:  aurea's apartment in the bronx. when:  late night. 

   SHE'S DEEP IN CONCENTRATION, EYES BOUNCING back and forth between her sheet of paper and julia as she completes the final touches. according to the card she pulled, they're to draw each other's portraits and, well, it's safe to say that audi did the world a favour by choosing to pursue writing as her art form.  ❝  juls. my kind, loving, beautiful soul sister. let me preface this by saying i swear i didn't use this sleepover as an excuse to insult you. hell, i didn't mean to insult you at all, but...  ❞   her words dissolve into a fit of laughter when she looks back to her drawing,   ❝  blame my hands, okay! they only ever wanna do what they're told when i'm cooking and, truthfully, even that's a sometimes sorta deal. like, seriously. julienne cuts are easy, so why. why! do they refuse to do them? ...yeah, yeah, i know. let's just rip the bandaid off.  ❞   she uses a hand to cover her face with another laugh before her other one offers her guest the artwork, a portrait that looks like it belongs in jason rekulak's hidden pictures as one of the five year old's horror drawings, face down. she peeks through her fingers with a sheepish grin,   ❝  at least my colouring is pretty, right?  ❞

Julia smiled softly, understanding the issue being described because she’d been there herself - more times than she’d care to admit because you’d think she’d have learnt her session after the first. “We’ve all been there.” As they headed into the vast library Julia was relieved to feel the familiar wash of calm the old building brought with it. A place that housed so much knowledge with no expectations on it apart from that you feasted to your hearts content, she could slip away in here for hours on end. Reading while the outside pressures melted away until it was time to walk back out the doors again. “You have a cat stroller for her? Oh my goodness, I’ve only ever actually seen those used on television. Is it common for people to take their cats out for walks? I thought they were more inside pets. Especially in the city.” Not that she’d ever had one, though they were very cute and occasionally the thought had crossed her mind to keep her company in the times she wasn’t at the hospital, before she remembered that those hours were extensive and it wasn’t really conducive to looking after a pet. 

The offer of help was one she’d happy accept though, enjoying Zahra’s presence because it felt like they had a lot in common, even if the information they’d shared with each other was limited. It was just a sense the doctor got. “I’d love that, thank you. Why don’t we put yours all back in for return and then we can head up to the medical section?” Her voice lowering as they were now in the confines of the library. @ofzahras

"Not all of them, no. I guess I bit off more than I could chew. Thought I would save myself a few library trips, you know. Didn't really think what would happen when I had to return all of them." She had always been bit of a book hoarder, most comfortable when she knew the information she might need was within arm's reach, but she had previously also been able to take pride in being a fast, motivated reader with the ability to get lost in text even if she wasn't particularly interested in the subject. She had tried to get back to that routine, often re-reading books or research papers she had already deemed fascinating in one way or another, but the results had been less than satisfactory. She knew talking about it with someone might ease the shame, but unfortuntaly Zahra had never great at that. Still, she appreciated this little chat with Julia, especially since it allowed her to gush about her beloved cat. "I have to admit if I already got a cat stroller for her but I am still trying to figure out if I'm confident enough to take it out for a spin. Might garner some weird looks."

Her head tilted to the side as Julia explained what she was looking for. "Oh? I see. I'm not doing anything at the moment if you need help finding some books," she offered, hopeful to pass a few minutes with a clear goal in mind. "It sounds interesting. I'm sure you'll do great."

Julia always found these kinds of the cases hard - obviously they all were, she was a doctor, but she’d gotten incredibly good at compartmentalising. If she had to go on a talent show that would probably be what she went for because really it was like an elite sport for the woman at this point. She’d spent the last three hours on the same case which was always draining but one the plus side things were looking a lot more positive than they had been when the one year old was rushed into the NICU. Slipping their chart back into the pocket at the end of the crib she let out a soft sigh, wishing she could just melt onto the floor in the foetal position for a little while to disassociate but she had to wait. She had to finish up her shift. Maybe then she could go home and crawl under the duvet for a little while. She wouldn’t cry. Julia rarely did when it came to patients she’d cared for during the day, it was few and far between, but she’d allow the emotion to wash over her in a way she wouldn’t while she was donning her scrubs and stethoscope. 

She was surprised to see the man still sat in the waiting room but it warmed even her very tired heart. It wasn’t a requirement of the job she was almost certain yet here he was waiting no doubt to hear about the little girl, it was enough to have a little smile grace her features. “Mr Caddel - I didn’t expect to still see you here. You must be exhausted.” Voice empathetic since it was four in the morning at this point. “I'm Doctor Rebeiro. You did an excellent job timing wise, it saved her a lot of potential complications. Obviously what I can tell you about the patient is limited since you’re not immediate family but I can reassure you that despite the upper airway burn the patient is responding well to intubation. We thought it best to air on the side of caution considering they’re so young.” Julia considered him with a compassionate expression. “Have you eaten anything, had something to drink? I’m due my break if you’d like to join me in the cafeteria. I can promise you the coffee isn’t as bad as it’s rumoured to be.” 

—jacket was discarded on the chair beside him, along with his helmet; head leaned back against the wall behind him. his partner has gone to grab some coffee, but he knows that he needs a moment, too. every time he closes his eyes, the scene is there; the car engulfed in flames, the screams, the pleading. haunting. a car accident is always bad; it’s even worse when families are involved. as a parent-to-be, he cannot quite grasp the agony and worry, and on top of having to deal with one's own well-being. they had, once again, gone above and beyond; of course, there were orders he had to conveniently overlook, but he was there to help out unless he absolutely couldn’t —and Caddel had trouble knowing when to stop trying. the phone rang beside him and he glanced at it before ignoring it; there would be time to deal with whatever consequences later. ‘I gotta take the utility truck back,’ his partner said as he came back and he simply nodded; and watched his phone ring once more for a second.

the door opened and he was immediately up. he wanted to hear that they had at least made it in time, judging by the amount of time that had passed since they first rushed inside, news had to be somewhat positive, right? he couldn’t even find it in him to ask anything upon seeing the young doctor walk out; simply stood there expectantly, waiting. (@drjuliarebeiro)

“You didn’t read them?” Julia had a surprised look on her face but she really shouldn’t be because that was the pot very much calling the kettle black. The amount of books she’d borrowed from libraries in the past but not even opened was numerous, and it wasn’t because she didn’t have good intentions when she got them. Simply that life tended to get in the way, especially if they were fiction books rather than something attributed to medicine or something she was specifically working on. Sensing the uncertainty coming from her she nodded in agreement instead of prying further, giving the other a small smile. “I’m sure - I head that is quite common among writers.” She doubted parroting that would be of any reassurance but it happened anyway. “Would you look at that, I think we’ve decided what your next purchase is going to be. Some call it a grocery bag, you call it a Circe bag. It’s flexible for ones needs.” 

A shrug of her shoulders in regards to what she was specifically looking for, pressing her lips together silently for a second. “There is a case I’m working on at the moment is a child with Adrenoleukodystrophy, it’s not something I’ve personally worked with before so although I know the facts from medical school I wanted to come and do some more reading on it incase there is anything I’ve missed. Are you staying a while?” She asked, referring to the library. @ofzahras

"I guess you're partially right. I just wish I had actually read these instead of just hauling them home and now bringing them right back." Obviously no one knew - or cared - that she hadn't even cracked open most of the books, but the shame was palpable nonetheless. The shame seemed to be her constant companion, increasingly so ever since her brain had decided it no longer wanted to partake in any additional reading or writing. The feeling only grew as she thought about future deadlines and word counts, the threat of falling behind making her sick to her stomach. "I am sure it's just a writer's block," she muttered, mostly to herself, before snorting in amusement. "See, I like where your head's at. I could smuggle Circe everywhere and become the ultimate cat lady."

A realisation lit up Zahra's face as Julia admitted she was only heading in. She laughed, shaking her head softly. "Ah, there you go. It's good to know some things don't change. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

---- Moodboard - Julia Rebeiro & Aurea Souza -----

When all the tears are rolling down your face And it feels like yours was the only heart to break When you come back home and all the lights are out And you're getting used to no one else being around Oh, oh, I'll be there When you need a little love, I got a little love to share Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna come through You'll never be alone, I'll be there for you

@ofgods