"I...I Am Rambling..." Julia Conceded, A Small Smile On Her Lips As She Sat Down Because Eh Knew It Was

Molly's Game (2017) dir. Aaron Sorkin

[ Midori Francis, cis female, she/her ] — whoa! JULIA SATO just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for THREE MONTHS, working as a PAEDIATRIC DOCTOR. that can’t be easy, especially at only 33 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit PEDANTIC and GUARDED, but i know them to be EXTRAORDINARY and PATIENT. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to BROOKLYN! 

Tw: Unwanted pregnancy, adoption, trauma

Julia wasn’t born wanting to be a doctor, she didn’t grow up playing doctor, but little did she know it was always on the cards for her. Pushed from a young age to focus closely on her academics she had two choices - doctor or lawyer, and in the end she chose the former. Her father was a well known cardiovascular surgeon and her mother one of New York’s top OBGYN, so it was hardly surprising when their only daughter was said to have her eyes set on medical school (Even if they were telling people long before Julia had any idea that’s what was happening.)

They tended to do that though. The pair of them would decide on something and before you knew it that was exactly what was happening, it was a control thing they loved to have, and it overflowed into every aspect of their daughter’s life. On the most part Julia was a sweet, normal child, she did well in school and didn’t make too many waves that drew extra attention to herself. With a select circle of friends - she was the girl you wanted to be in group projects with because it meant the ball wasn’t going to be dropped, you would have a finished project bang on time, and the lettering on the poster board would be impeccable to boot. Well if you’re going to do something you might as well do it properly, she knew the past of least resistance in her family was to excel so she didn’t put up a fuss. Just knuckling down to do what was expect of her. It wasn’t a miserable existence, did she get to go to as many social events as the rest of her classmates? Maybe not, but she never felt she was being deprived of anything. 

That was until she met and fell for Leo West. The two had been in the same grade for their entire school life but it wasn’t until they turned fifteen that their paths properly crossed and Julia’s eyes were suddenly opened to a world beyond her school books and music lessons. He had an freedom she had never been around before but wanted more of as soon as she’d been exposed, and it wasn’t long before (much to her parents disapproval) the two were dating. Julia’s first romance and it was a total whirlwind of infatuation and codependence they were inseparable and soon became a package deal. Even as she continued to study hard, it wasn’t with the same dedication that she’d had before and both the Sato parents started to notice, concern growing that this boy was turning their daughter’s head in the wrong direction. Not that they ever acted upon that thought - but they certainly made it known to Julia. Leo was due to go away on a year abroad once he finished high school and the Sato parents had already decided that this would be the end of their daughters relationship with him. And just like that he left when summer broke that year and Julia was back to focusing her attention onto her studies. 

Kinda. 

About three weeks later it was discovered that she was pregnant. A total disaster in her parents eyes the girl was made to go through with the pregnancy, hiding it for the most part thanks to her mother’s medical field, and the baby was put up for adoption the moment it came into he world. Never up for debate. Julia never got to hold it, they never even told her what she’d had. Instead she was just expected to go back to her studies as if nothing had happened without any kind of mental health or trauma support, and she did. But she was never the same. By the time Leo came home from his time abroad (which ended up going from one year to two) she had left for medical school so her parents didn't have to worry about the two of them reconnecting.

That was sixteen years ago and even after earning a place at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, a placement at Boston Children’s Hospital, and finally getting a job offer she couldn’t refuse back in her home town of New York, she still felt totally lost. So to combat it she threw herself into her work without letting up for a second, no time to think meant no time to hurt. At least with this career she could help children in a way she could never help her own child, but that didn’t stop her eyes from lingering a couple of seconds longer on kids that came in with features that reminded her of Leos’, wondering what had happened to their son or daughter. 

Wound tight, laser focused, a stickler for detail, and well overdue for everything she’d squished down to the depths of her soul and darkest parts of her brain to come bursting out, there was really no telling when this ticking time bomb was going to go off. 

“Sounds delicious, which spices do you go for?” Julia asked as the two of them both took a step forward with the movement of the line, readjusting her bag on her shoulder. Her own ability to cook was subpar to say the least - mainly because she just didn’t have time. Between hospital shifts she was either trying to catch up on sleep, doing extra research for her cases, or (very) occasionally seeing the few friends she had remaining in the city. Or at least the few that she’d made aware she was back again, keeping the return under wraps for her own wellbeing honestly. “Yes, it sounds like maybe you need to do some kind of brunch with your friends in order to give it the proper appreciation.” That was something people did still, right? Brunches at the weekend? She hadn’t been to one in years. @infragilehearts

——- With a prideful smile on her face, clasping her hands together. ❝  i have a couple different ones actually — but one i usually make for others is a standard breakfast bagel. it has eggs, ham, bacon, sausage, cheese and a pinch of different spices. ❞ valerie's other recipe was something she only made for people close to her or herself. the other she'd made during different culinary jobs so why not share as it was out there already. ❝  i'm glad to hear it. i'll just have to use it for a few friends then so it has a good first day usage. ❞ she said with a smirk across her lips, always enjoying sharing her cooking creations with others.

“You didn’t read them?” Julia had a surprised look on her face but she really shouldn’t be because that was the pot very much calling the kettle black. The amount of books she’d borrowed from libraries in the past but not even opened was numerous, and it wasn’t because she didn’t have good intentions when she got them. Simply that life tended to get in the way, especially if they were fiction books rather than something attributed to medicine or something she was specifically working on. Sensing the uncertainty coming from her she nodded in agreement instead of prying further, giving the other a small smile. “I’m sure - I head that is quite common among writers.” She doubted parroting that would be of any reassurance but it happened anyway. “Would you look at that, I think we’ve decided what your next purchase is going to be. Some call it a grocery bag, you call it a Circe bag. It’s flexible for ones needs.” 

A shrug of her shoulders in regards to what she was specifically looking for, pressing her lips together silently for a second. “There is a case I’m working on at the moment is a child with Adrenoleukodystrophy, it’s not something I’ve personally worked with before so although I know the facts from medical school I wanted to come and do some more reading on it incase there is anything I’ve missed. Are you staying a while?” She asked, referring to the library. @ofzahras

"I guess you're partially right. I just wish I had actually read these instead of just hauling them home and now bringing them right back." Obviously no one knew - or cared - that she hadn't even cracked open most of the books, but the shame was palpable nonetheless. The shame seemed to be her constant companion, increasingly so ever since her brain had decided it no longer wanted to partake in any additional reading or writing. The feeling only grew as she thought about future deadlines and word counts, the threat of falling behind making her sick to her stomach. "I am sure it's just a writer's block," she muttered, mostly to herself, before snorting in amusement. "See, I like where your head's at. I could smuggle Circe everywhere and become the ultimate cat lady."

A realisation lit up Zahra's face as Julia admitted she was only heading in. She laughed, shaking her head softly. "Ah, there you go. It's good to know some things don't change. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

“Wind farm I think, it would be weird for there to be a lighthouse that far out but then again the reason for it would be because the rocks were hard to see, so I’d hardly be able to spot them from over here.” The dark haired girl responded, mirroring the move to rest on her own elbows once she’d finally sat down. “Mmm…maybe. What are you thinking of getting? Part of me is wondering if maybe a shaved ice would be better, kind of like a drink and a snack at the same time.” @tctteredwings

Ana nodded in response to what Julia was saying, trying to follow the other's line and sight, her eyes narrowing very slightly. "What conclusion did you come to?" she questioned thoughtfully, having absolutely no idea herself as she stared off into the distance. After several moments of this, she let a soft sign go, and then leant back on her elbows, closing her eyes for a second or two before she spoke again. "Did you want some ice-cream? I'm thinking of going to get some maybe..."

Julia rolled her eyes, laughing softly, sure while he was technically right that didn’t mean she wouldn’t have made it his problem if it had actually happened. Just to make a point. “Oh really? Look at you - passing judgment on other hard working medical professionals. Although I did see Doctor Fitz as I was leaving so I can’t say you’re wrong.” Looking through the box as she spoke, considering her options, ending up going for the biggest, gooiest one in there so she could really indulge, nodding her head as she took a big bite. “I know - shocking isn’t it? Funnily enough I like my coffee to taste like…well … coffee.” Nodding as she gestured for them to head off, taking another bite of the pastry. God it was good. “How was your shift?” @dannyhq

"sorry," he couldn't help but laugh despite his apology. "but, uh... technically incorrect because i'm off work now. you'd be someone else's problem," a flash of a mischievous smile. "though i honestly wouldn't recommend havin' a heart attack right now, with that staff on shift." danny steadied the box as julia looked through it, shrugging off her gratitude -- of course he saved her some, it was only the fair thing to do. otherwise the whole lot would've been gone in seconds, and the one person left who actually helped that patient, would miss out. "you deserve it," he countered simply. "oh what? you're tellin' me you don't like coffee that somehow tastes like ass? so weird." a brief pause. "yes, inkwells. absolutely. you got everythin' you need?"

As the blonde spoke, Julia noted down a couple of things on her iPad with the apple pen she had to go with it, silently hating the things because she was much more of an actual pen and paper person. This thing if you touched the wrong part it all would go mad - beyond annoying, especially when you were tired. “Okay, so did you manage to stay active at all during your pregnancy or is this something that’s been going on right since the first trimester?” Twin pregnancies were always harder on the body than single ones just because of the sheer strain they put on the body but that didn’t stop her from wanting to make sure there was nothing more going on underneath. “Have you had any blurry vision, sensitivity to light, shortness of breath, or swelling in your hands and feet?” She asked as she glanced up, wondering if there was a chance the woman had pre-eclampsia and her OBGYN just hadn’t caught it. @bjorkn

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐀 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐀 small ghost smile appeared on her delicate features upon the light joke about being rich. All this time she was being extra careful because this was her first pregnancy to know she could've ONE glass of wine? She hated herself for not asking it before. A hand rested on her baby bump, as she rested her back on the backrest of the chair she was. ❛ I don't know how to describe it, but basically, I feel excessive fatigue, and very weak physically speaking. As if I lost my physical conditioning. Before this pregnancy, I was very physically active. Also, I'm struggling to keep food. I have morning and night sickness, and only afternoon I can eat decent. Also, dizziness as if I'm about to faint. My OBGYN gave me medications still I struggle these days as if there is no effect working.❜ One thing the blonde also noticed was that she was getting more sleeper.

This was frustrating Julia no end, she couldn’t get the lines to go where she wanted them to, and the ability to allow artistic flair to take ahold of her was something she found totally impossible. She’d spent almost as much time erasing lines as she had drawing them, the whole while a small frown line between her eyebrows as she beavered away. The woman could feel Audi’s eyes moving onto her every so often but she didn’t do the same, instead drawing the face she knew as well as her own, from memory. Her bottom lip had been pulled between her teeth as she hummed under her breath without realising she was doing it. A sign of concentration. When words were finally spoken however, she looked up, coming back into the room in a slight daze. The sweet, compassionate words that came from the other were something she herself found difficult, expressing emotion verbally, but she knew it was reciprocated which was why there was no pressure to do so. “I don’t think I’m going to have done any better so as long as you agree to grant me forgiveness before I let you see this, then I’m happy to do the same for you.” Leaning forward she took the picture, swapping it with her own so her own shame could be revealed. “I mean, I had no idea my head was that shape but I really like the top you’ve put me in…” Julia laughed a little as she took in what was before her, still thinking it was head and shoulders better than her own. “I didn’t even get to colouring, did you know you have a very hard nose to draw? It’s so…specific.” Taking things far to seriously as per usual. 

status:  closed, ft. julia. ( @drjuliarebeiro ) location:  aurea's apartment in the bronx. when:  late night. 

   SHE'S DEEP IN CONCENTRATION, EYES BOUNCING back and forth between her sheet of paper and julia as she completes the final touches. according to the card she pulled, they're to draw each other's portraits and, well, it's safe to say that audi did the world a favour by choosing to pursue writing as her art form.  ❝  juls. my kind, loving, beautiful soul sister. let me preface this by saying i swear i didn't use this sleepover as an excuse to insult you. hell, i didn't mean to insult you at all, but...  ❞   her words dissolve into a fit of laughter when she looks back to her drawing,   ❝  blame my hands, okay! they only ever wanna do what they're told when i'm cooking and, truthfully, even that's a sometimes sorta deal. like, seriously. julienne cuts are easy, so why. why! do they refuse to do them? ...yeah, yeah, i know. let's just rip the bandaid off.  ❞   she uses a hand to cover her face with another laugh before her other one offers her guest the artwork, a portrait that looks like it belongs in jason rekulak's hidden pictures as one of the five year old's horror drawings, face down. she peeks through her fingers with a sheepish grin,   ❝  at least my colouring is pretty, right?  ❞

Julia Sato - Character Inspo Task #003

Miranda Hobbes (Sex and the City) Amy Santiago (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) Miranda Bailey (Grey's Anatomy) Chloe Decker (Lucifer) Spencer Hastings (Pretty Little Liars) Amy Brookheimer (Veep) Lexi Howard (Euphoria) Violet Baudelaire (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

Julia was a carb fiend, something she didn’t share with many people because she was a doctor so if people knew the amount she actually ate they might not trust her advice anymore. Not because it was just bread, but because it was just…a bad diet. Born of convenience rather than nutrition, she’d stopped off at Toastery because it meant not having to cook when she got home. “Hmm? Oh, um only the Pumpernickel - I was trying to be healthy…it was a mistake. Obviously, when there are bagels on offer.” Giving the other a polite smile. @infragilehearts

closed starter; for @drjuliarebeiro

location; toastery

——- Looking around at the different bread options before picking a couple and getting them paid for. if the bread here was good — valerie definitely wouldn't be against coming back. ❝  have you tried any of the bread in here ? ❞ she asked curiously to someone else inside. either way she was going to try it herself, but she was just a curious soul at heart. wanting to know all she could. she always loved to learn.