Real Shit

*a few months after The Ithaca Saga*

Odysseus: *wakes up at the dead of night drenched in cold sweat*

Penelope: Love? What's wrong?

Odysseus: That prophet son of a bitch- IT WAS ME!

Penelope: What??

Odysseus: I WAS THE MAN WHO WAS HAUNTING ALL ALONG!!

Penelope: *pulling him down and hugging him* ok dear just go back to sleep.

*meanwhile in the Underworld*

Tiresias: Fucking finally that dumbass

this is so special to me

everyone else: prying information out of five like pulling teeth

five, walking up to viktor and klaus unprompted: hey. the apocalypse is coming. help me out

The spot meets venom,,

ATTENTION ALL OF TUMBLR!

THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE.

IN 2014, IN SCHAUMBURG , ILLINOIS, USA

THERE

WILL

BE

A

TUMBLR CONVENTION!!!

THESE ARE THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT ARE MAKING IT HAPPEN

SIGNAL BOOST THIS GUYS

I WANNA SEE EVERYONE THERE!!

So, now that it's over, and I've given everybody enough time to watch all the seasons:

I'm breaking my silence on the numbering system.

If you haven't memorized them,

Number One: Luther Hargreeves

Number Two: Diego Hargreeves

Number Three: Allison Hargreeves

Number Four: Klaus Hargreeves

Number Five

Number Six: Ben Hargreeves

Number Seven: Viktor Hargreeves

Now, since we figured out these numbers, the fandom has been all,

"Oh it's in order of powers! Luther has (or had, as a kid) the best powers! And Viktor is seven because he 'had none'."

"Oh but that doesn't make sense! Ben's power is so much cooler and more lethal than Luther's!"

Bullshit. I'm breaking my silence.

Yes, fandom, you were on the right track.. ish.

These numbers were assigned based on how easy to manipulate each sibling was. These numbers were based on how terrifying, or hilarious, Reginald Hargreeves found each sibling.

Luther was stupid, he was easily toyed with and he would listen to everything his dad said. He was number one because Reginald could do whatever he wanted with him and wasn't at risk of getting attacked or even questioned. Reginald could poke, pry, test, train, whatever he wanted with Luther easily. That's what made him number one.

Viktor, on the other hand, was disobedient. He didn't listen, he wasn't easily manipulated, he killed all the nanny's, he terrified Reginald. Hence, the last thing he could possibly think to do-- because he is a maniac control freak-- was to put a stop to it. He couldn't lose! He has to make Viktor think he's nothing.

You can figure the rest out.

☂️

(Edit: Allison being told to betray her sister and DOING SO!! Five jumping despite Reginald's permission!! Ben not wanting to go on missions!! Come on.)

"Are you drunk? Again?"

"I don't judge you for your coping mechanisms."

"It's not a coping mechanism if you're not coping."

the romantic tension between the blood related parent and the found parent is so fucking crazy gotta be one of my favorite ship dynamics

May this be the year Palestine is free.