Dissociatedbi - This Blog Is My Therapist's Idea

Nothing more punk than someone who is in pain all the fucking time and just continues to exist.

Edit: this isn't about random characters. This is about physically disabled people.

Happy to help, glad it is informative :)

I think it depends! I'm not sure how it was before I was able to integrate with that part of myself, so I can only speak to what I can actually remember. But for the times I remember, it's very mixed. I'll know that I'm talking to my husband, but I'll be absolutely convinced he's angry at me (which is untrue), that I'm somehow unsafe (also untrue), and that I need to defend myself (never true with him tbh). If I'm aware enough to have the insight that I'm wrong, then I'm also frustrated/confused/angry about not being in control enough to use logic to control my behavior- but I don't always have that insight. So I'd say, usually, I am in the mindset of the past while being aware that I'm not physically in the past.

From what my husband has told me, during the times I have amnesia for, it sounds like I have no idea what's happening but I still know who he is and where I am. But he's said that I don't make any sense, like he will have me try to explain why I'm upset, and I can't really coherently put my thoughts together.

I remember one episode where I had been triggered by several things, and we were standing in the kitchen, and I was saying really awful horrible things to him- like he was trying to upset me on purpose, he was gaslighting me, etc- but he'd say "can you tell me why you think that?" And I couldn't. I don't remember how we had gotten to the kitchen, or what he had said that allegedly upset me. And I KNEW I was wrong, and I really wanted to stop yelling at him, but I felt so out of control. Like somebody else was operating my body, even though obviously I was operating myself lol. So I literally turned around, grabbed the handles of the kitchen cabinet, and yelled for like 15 seconds.

And then my sweet husband was like "yeah! You tell that trauma!" So then I laughed and then had a panic attack. And then we made dinner. An ordinary Thursday, lmfao.

Call for People who Have First Hand Experience with PTSD

(Part of The Research Game, question by @z-mizcellaneous-z)

We are wondering if anyone who has first-hand experience can share with us what PTSD flashbacks look or feel like to you, as well as what it might look like from the outside perspective (such as witnessed by friends/strangers).

(please only share if you're comfortable. You can also send me an anonymous ask instead!)

Everyone else, reblog this around until we can find someone who has the answer!

(Otherwise, there's a Youtube channel I know of that aims to spread awareness of PTSD and may help you here: https://youtu.be/vdLfrJSzMY8, though it's important to note she has Complex PTSD, which is slightly different and is characterized by prolonged trauma rather than a single event)

put spikes on your wheelchair's handles. wrap barbed wire around your cane or crutch so it'll hurt like a motherfucker if someone kicks or grabs it from under your hand. wear a personal alarm and pull the pin every time someone moves you without your consent, leans on your chair, takes a seat on your rollator, taps your hearing aid, steals your AAC device. scream for help when you're abducted. wail like you're in agony when people trip you up or knock into you. take pepper spray to the grocery store. take a knife to the club. leave cards that say "fuck you" under the wipers of inconsiderately parked cars and scratch access codes for bathrooms on the outside of the door. we are not begging for mercy, we're fighting dirty. we have to.

So… I got a notification from the State Department at like 8 PM Pacific that my passport was approved, and I was quietly thankful and stunned bc my legal gender in Oregon is listed as X, or undeclared, and that's what's on my passport. I'm pretty sure someone(s) worked late to get the X passports done today.

I was already really grateful to whoever in the Seattle Passport Office worked late to get these things processed on the last Friday before That Man gets back into office... and then I got a notification that my passport shipped at fucking midnight Pacific and whoever got that shit out the door so it couldn't be picked up on Monday and like, denied and shredded?

They're my fucking hero.

“why do you have a gap in your resume” idk why is there a gap in your staff. worry about that

I know it’s hard but try to resist the urge to say “it’s okay” or “I’m okay” when it’s not true to those you’d like support from.

Try saying things like:

“I’m not okay. I could use some support right now.”

“I’m not okay. Unfortunately, you can’t fix this for me. But I could use the company of a friend.”

“I’m not okay. But I’m not up to talking about it right now. Can we do something else to distract me?”

Often, your loved ones want to help you but they don’t know how.

It’s okay to say you’re not okay. And it’s okay to ask for help.

Hey guys, IRL Autumn here. As much as I'd love to be here with my usual jokes, This is something much more serious.

For those who don't know, the UK government has recently announced plans to cut Disabled benefits by 4.6K a year if a person isn't or won't find a work from home position.

To massively simplify the current system, Disabled benefits have 2 levels of pay, depending on your capacity for work. Those who are deemed fully incapable of work get full pay, and those who can work part time, or in a select few low impact workplaces get half pay.

The new system would require everyone no matter where they lay on that scale to find employment. For the thousands, if not millions of people that have been declared fully incapable of work, this means bending over backwards for an impossible task.

And the pay cut for those who "refuse" to comply (which in reality is the vast majority being completely unable to comply to impossible demands) is not an insignificant amount.

That is a payment reduction of over half of what that person currently recieves. An amount that already is barely sufficient to survive on.

Being disabled is inherently expensive, be it due to needing specialized equipment, specific transport needs or even specific needs in general day-to-day living.

This is not a scheme to help the current system which is admittedly underfunded. This is a system designed to force disabled people to sacrifice themselves for an unsustainable system, or die trying.

And believe me, there will be death.

This is a deliberate target of some of the most vulnerable people in our society.

This is not "toughing through the hard times for the good of the country"

This is a slaughter.

Since July is Disability Pride Month

(as opposed to every other month when we're all demure about disability rights /gentle sarcasm)

I wanted to highlight one of my favorite artists: Liberal Jane.

I decided to get drunk because I'm my father's daughter and I'm more hungry now so I might have second dinner

Skills you shouldn’t have to learn to survive yet child abuse forces you to:

moving around without making any noise

moving around the place without turning on the light

locking/unlocking doors in complete darkness

staying stoic in the face of screaming, threats, and violence

pretense of being calm even if in deep panic

perfect pretense of being fine even in the middle of breakdown

silent crying, crying without making any noise or even tears

doing physical work while crying or injured and not stopping

sensing when someone is angry or stressed because now they’re a danger to you

comforting and calming people down in desperate attemt to lower the amount of danger you’re in

recognizing a person by their footsteps, or a car by the noise it makes when turning to a stop

turning all injustices and anger inwards and making it into self hatred

hiding scars and injuries

expertly making excuses for marks or scars on yourself

dissociating in a second if there’s danger of new trauma

repressing mountains of trauma

surviving emotionally completely on your own