If Words Were Wounds

God is calling YOU.

I decided today that I resent the phrase “full-time ministry” when referring to pastors. ”Full-time” ministry, as opposed to everybody else who’s only part-time? I believe that EVERYBODY’S ministry should be full-time. I believe that witnessing and outreach should be a way of life, not a job.  I have many friends who want to be pastors or did want to at some point (the official count is up to six at the moment.) And sometimes I think that people feel like if you’re a Christian, the only job God can call you to is to be a pastor or a missionary - like those are the only “Holy” jobs. Like you HAVE to do one or the other to truly be a good Christian. Because, for a long time, when my very best friend was absolutely 100% certain of God’s calling on her life to become a children’s pastor, I felt like I didn’t have a calling on my life. I think I know what it is now. :)

I want to put it out there that God calls all types. I believe I have friends who are called into social work. God calls doctors and nurses. God calls business men. God DEFINITELY called my mom to be a teacher. She says she knows that teaching is where she is supposed to be, with junior high kids who are messed and lost and just need love and guidance. I know people who have a heart for kids and want to love on them so they’re going into social work to help children have better lives. And I want to be a pediatrician, because I love children and I want to help people.

God gave you talents and interests and skills and passions for a reason! And whatever He calls you to do, it’ll probably line up with whatever He’s already equipped you to do well. He might call you to be a stay-at-home mom, or a lawyer or a plumber!

The only secrets I cannot keep are my own.

Not that I don't want to.

If I had my way, every single other person in the world would only ever see the carefully made-up, touched up, photoshopped, filtered, edited, reviewed and revised life. They would never know the dark spaces in my heart where the fear and insecurity reside. They would never see the times when I tripped on the cracks in the sidewalk of life. They would never even bear witness to the grimace at the text from the boy I want but can't have. Would never even know that I'm human enough to feel emotion. If I could, I'd smile and lie my way through every conversation, every interaction. I'd keep all the anxiety, all the "I can't do this", all the self-loathing, all the pitiful, sad, scared parts of me locked up deep inside. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty happy, well-adjusted, social person. But I have the parts of me I'm not so proud of, and I have my moments when they seem like the ONLY parts of me. As do we all. 

But these secrets, they're destroying me. I physically cannot exist pretending that I have no struggles, no problems, no flaws. Thankfully for me, I have people around me who care about me. I have a fabulous mama who thinks I'm fabulous too. I have absolutely wonderful friends who love me and because they love me, they tell me the truth. And by sharing my sorrows with them and confessing my downfalls to them, my secrets don't have that power over me anymore. My secrets no longer loom as a mountain that I'll never scale. They're not captives inside me anymore. They're not clamouring against my ribcage to escape my chest. They're not gripping my throat and choking me anymore. My secrets aren't my demons anymore. I've been given love and advice and perspective and the distorted lens through which I viewed my secrets has been removed by the clarity of other people's words. Wow, you mean I'm NOT a terrible person? My whole life isn't ruined? I AM gonna be okay? What?! 

You know what I mean. We're so adept at creating our own private torture. We're so skilled at turning our own heads into prisons. We obsess over our slip-ups. We play it over again and again and again and again and again and again. The endless loop of failure. We rip it to shreds analyzing every syllable, every inflection in the voice, every glance, ever thought, every breath. 

If you grew up in the church, maybe you, like I, know the fear of transparency that exists in there. We have this tendency to put on a mask every time we enter that building. Casting Crowns wrote a song I love called Stained Glass Masquerade and one of the lines says "am I the only one who's traded in the altar for a stage?" That line always resonates with me. And I heard a pastor say once upon a time "we would rather confess our sins to a sinless God than to our fellow sinful humans." I don't know what it is, but I see it in myself and my close friends - that quality of perfectionism. It's stupid cause the church is not for perfect people. It's for decidedly imperfect people. I recognize my severe imperfection and the fact that I need Jesus. So why am I so afraid to admit it to the people around me? 

Let it go. Let it out. Find someone who loves you. Someone you trust. Don't give the secrets the power. If you have no one else to talk to, talk to me. I'm never ever gonna judge you for anything. Just don't keep it a secret. 

My pastor on National Coming Out Day.

God does not expect you to be a Wall Street executive. God does not wish you were making six figures. God does not wish you had a happy-go-lucky personality. God does not wish you would just “Get yourself together already!” We are not on our own. We are not broken beyond repair. We are not doomed to be our parents (2 Kings 21:21; 2 Kings 22:2). We are not condemned by our heavenly Father for being in process (2 Peter 3:15). He knows us and loves us and is working patiently in and with us

Don't be fooled by kids and their follies, you have wisdom beyond fear.

I don’t know where this came from but I like it!

Why I Hate Religion, but Love Jesus

like basically. if you’re not religious how do you deal with being alive. and if you are religious how do you not let the terror of that consume you. really makes u think

The Need for Missionaries in North America

Christians in North America love to talk about “missions”. Usually that means people on other continents, across oceans, with vastly different climates and cultures. We talk a lot about unchurched peoples. 

I think it’s time to talk less about unchurched peoples and talk more about DE-churched peoples.

In North America, we have a unique mission field. We live on a continent where millions of people already know about Jesus, and are vehemently disinterested in Him. Because of us. 

We are surrounded by millions of people who actively reject God because of us. 

They equate God with hate, judgment and condemnation because of us. Just one generation before mine in my province, people left the church in droves because of hypocrisy, scandal and intolerance. My generation is the first generation in Newfoundland in which many people have absolutely zero affiliation with any church. My generation is the generation that knows God as someone who hates women and people of colour and LGBTQ+ people. Because his followers hate all those people. 

Jesus said that people would know his followers by their love for one another, not their hate. 

Something has gone very very wrong here. The most well known image associated with Christianity in the United States is a sign saying “God Hates F*gs”. Half my time is spent trying to combat misogyny, homophobia and transphobia within the church and the other half of my time is spent apologizing for all those things to people outside the church.

Yes I assure you, I know that it’s “not all” churches and “not all” Christians. Before you whine about my generalizations, I will preemptively refute that critique by saying that every time someone claims “not all” about a social class in a position of power, the answer is that it is the vast majority enabling us to make general claims about clear trends evident in this social class. Furthermore,  in this specific case, even if it is not all, it is a portion that is statistically significant enough that it dominates the psyche of our culture. And those of us who have not been active perpetrators have been complicit through our defenses like the one that you’re leveraging against my stance right now. Okay, that’s out of the way.

I am in no way saying that we don’t have a responsibility to “Go” and make disciples of ALL the nations. I am in no way saying that the work that overseas missionaries do is not important or that God does not call people to international missions. Here is what I AM saying: 

if God does not call you--yes, YOU, specifically--and me to go overseas and preach the gospel, then the only logical conclusion is that he’s calling us to STAY and preach the gospel. 

Too often we think that if we are not being sent to a different country then we are excused from the Great Commission. We are not. 

We will each be responsible for all the people we came into contact with, all the people we were supposed to love like God, all the opportunities to be Jesus.

We need to recognize the vast population of dechurched people in North America. We need to understand the unique cultural challenges of doing ministry in this context. We need to intentionally address the very specific obstacles to the propagation of the gospel in North America. In some countries, the gospel faces opposition from animism. In some, from Buddhism. In others, from Islam. 

In North America, the gospel faces opposition from Christianity itself. 

Our job now is to undergo cultural sensitivity training for our own home missions field. Our job is to recognize that we don’t actually have home team advantage here. Christianity is not the default, dominant moral standard. And we don’t have any right to expect it to be. 

We’re fighting an uphill battle on a landscape that has already been ravaged by the war we’ve waged against the culture.

We have to meet people where they are. 

We need to respect the challenges, the baggage and the bondage in North America. 

The pain and fear and shame that the church has instilled in people so that they run away from God. If we really want to reach people for Jesus, we have to look around. We have to stop expecting people to come to us. We have to stop thinking that it’s easy for anybody to just walk into a church. For a lot of people, walking into a church is traumatic at worst and ironic at best. 

If we really believe in this earth-shattering, history-altering, life-changing, time-stopping, world-healing message we have the immense honour and responsibility to carry, then our job is to love.

That’s vague and trite and cliche. Allow me to elaborate. You know how overseas missionaries say that it’s not a job, it’s a lifestyle? Like that. You know how overseas missionaries intentionally create spaces where they can meet people exactly where they are and meet their needs in the best way possible? Like that. You know how overseas missionaries do not consider it their place to judge anybody, simply to demonstrate the love of Jesus? LIKE THAT. You know how overseas missionaries understand that they are guests of their region and are not entitled to a platform but instead have to work to EARN the trust of the people they minister to? LIKE THAT. You know how overseas missionaries spend months and even years carefully building connections in the community and relationships with individuals? LIKE THAT.

It’s not that I think that pastors and missionaries are the only ones in “full time ministry”. We’re all in full time ministry. 

If you consider yourself a Christian and you have a personal relationship with God and you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you’re AUTOMATICALLY in full time ministry. 

It’s like Step 1: Accept Jesus. Step 2: Tell EVERYBODY. Far be it from me to insinuate that missionaries are the only ones doing missions. I am claiming the opposite, in fact. I think that we all need to start thinking of ourselves as missionaries much more seriously than we do right now. 

Whether God has told you to go or to stay, you are where you are because He has placed you there for a purpose. 

I am advocating for a shift in attitude at a corporate level. I am advocating for a change in the way we as the Body conceptualizes outreach.

So what does this look like on a practical level? For one, it looks like acknowledging that we have occupied a position of social and political power for a long time and still do. It’s acknowledging the privilege inherent in living in a society where our religion has been the default for generations. It’s dismantling the myth that a white, straight man is God’s chosen one. It’s divorcing the church from the culture. It’s confronting the racism, misogyny, homophobia and transphobia within our communities. Yeah, I said it. It should be old news to you that I believe homophobia and transphobia to be theologically unsound and antithetical to the gospel. It’s letting go of our need to have our beliefs respected. Truly. Honestly. It’s accepting that we are not entitled to anybody’s time or ears. It’s working to build relationships, to be present in the community, to earn trust and establish credibility before we even think of asking people to engage with us on matters of life and death. It’s respecting the wounds our predecessors have inflicted on our siblings. It’s trying to be a part of the healing instead of claiming that the wound does not exist, or worse, causing even more pain. It’s putting an immediate halt to any kind of exclusion in our communities. 

What part of unconditional love do we not understand? How do we think we’re being salt and light by gatekeeping the gospel???

Whether we’re called to go or to stay, we’re all missionaries.