The Need For Missionaries In North America

Video Rant #2: Feminism is In A Relationship with Modesty and It's Complicated.  *The little ding you hear in the background is my phone, sorry guys! haha :P 

Why I Believe What I Believe (because it was far too long to put all of it in an answer)

 I started out being a Christian because I was essentially born and raised in the church. However, make no mistake : it was my own personal decision to begin the journey of faith in Jesus. But it might be more effective for me to explain to you why I STILL believe in Christianity. I am far past the age where I had to stop coasting on the momentum of my parents’ beliefs and step up and own my faith. If you’re only lukewarm and you don’t really believe this stuff, you won’t remain convicted and active in your faith.

First off, I flatter myself that I am a critical thinker. I’m currently doing a science degree in university and I like to think that I’m inquisitive and smart. And I will fiercely deny any accusations of brainwashing or the like. I sometimes have moments where I literally question everything about my existence and I just wonder, “what if everything I’ve ever believed isn’t true?” and when I was in my early teens I asked myself, how do I know God is real? I attended small groups at my church and I read books and I really started investigating. A great book is called A Case for a Creator, by Lee Strobel, if you’re interested.  Here are the reasons I believe in God:

1. Personal Experience.

It’s pretty easy to believe in something when you see it with your own eyes, and hear first-hand accounts all the time from people who were witnesses to the miraculous. For example, the Holy Spirit is probably the most versatile form of God and He’s the form of God here on earth. He lives in us and works through us as we invite Him to do so. So basically, when we open ourselves up to God, He will come and visit. And the effects of the presence and the glory of God are varied and remarkable.

Let me list some symptoms of being in God’s presence:  -Speaking in a unique language, known only to God and not to any human -Crying uncontrollably -Laughing hysterically -Falling over randomly

I’ve seen all of those symptoms in an average church service haha. That’s why they call us Pentecostal, we’re defined by our belief in the Holy Spirit. The name is derived from the day of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit first visited the disciples of the early church. *Note: there was a cool study done by a student at the University of Pennsylvania who did MRI scans on people while they were speaking in tongues, and discovered that the frontal lobe was not involved the way you’d think it would be, and that neurologically, the data corroborates the Christians testimony, that we hear ourselves but have no blessed clue what we’re saying. Cool, huh? 

Also, the Holy Spirit gives “gifts” wherein He gives you power for a moment to do something humanly impossible, in order to help someone. Those gifts include… -Healing -Miracles -Prophesy -Knowledge (knowing something about someone’s life that you could never have known if God didn’t tell you)  -Faith (more like a leap of faith, It’s when you step out and do something that could not possibly work if God didn’t intervene) -Wisdom (God granting you the answer to what seemed like an unsolvable puzzle) -Interpretation (being able to understand the freaky Holy Spirit language someone is speaking in and translating it) -Discernment (knowing that something is a lie because God told you)

Obviously, it’s difficult to quantify stuff like Faith, Knowledge, Wisdom and Discernment. Usually things like that happen between the gift deliverer and the gift receiver. However, I have personally borne witness to Prophecy and Interpretation, and have heard many firsthand accounts of miraculous healings. When I stop and think about it, I’ve definitely been present at an event where healings took place, but I didn’t know the individual or the specific situation.

The very people in my life are evidence that God exists. There is a biblical concept called The Fruits of The Holy Spirit (NOT the same as the gifts) which are essentially characteristics of God which increase in a person’s life the more contact they have with God. They are… -Love -Joy -Peace -Patience -Gentleness -Faithfulness -Meekness -Self-control

I’ve met so many amazing people in my life, some who are Christian and some who are not. But it happens every now and then when you meet someone and you just KNOW that they are close to God, and you admire them for it. Because they could not possibly possess such fortitude in the face of adversity, such steadfastness in the face of uncertainty, such grace when dealing with people from all walks of life, or such a passion for loving the unlovely, were it not for God’s influence in their lives.

I’ve had a personal relationship with Jesus for 14 years. And I’ve seen Him heal my friend of an addiction to cutting. I’ve seen Him take away her cravings for alcohol, in the middle of a party, because I asked Him to (yeah that was pretty awesome). I’ve seen a young girl who prayed for a friend in her school who had similar beliefs to her, and literally 30 seconds later (I am honestly not exaggerating), met a girl who fit those exact qualifications. Wild stuff happens everyday and I’m used to it! Because God is a constant in my life. 2. It just….makes sense. 

Nothing else has ever come along that seemed more logical to me than God. I’ve heard the theory of the Big Bang and evolution, and it’s not a flawless theory. There are holes in it. And the odds of the things occurring that they say occurred are…ahem, not great. I can only say that I find it very difficult to swallow that at the beginning of our galaxy, matter and antimatter collided and there was a massive explosion and the residual stardust formed a planet (WHICH just happens to be exactly the right distance from the sun so that we don’t burn up or freeze, and has the right gasses in its atmosphere to make breathable air - oh how convenient!) . And then that on that planet there was some kind of primordial soup with organic molecules swimming around in it like carbon, nitrogen and oxygen. And then, randomly, through some unknown energy source, such molecules magically arranged themselves into a single-celled organism (WHICH are suuuuuuper complex when you think about it. I mean, come on, there are sugars, phosphate groups and nitrogenous groups in a single nucleotide of DNA, arranged in such a complicated pattern. Those DNA nucleotides code for proteins, which bunch together to make organelles, which all function in harmony to create a living, working cell? How does that even happen from elements swimming around in a soup struck by lightning??). And THEN, over millions and millions of years, such teeeeny tiny single-celled organisms evolved into multicellular, microscopic organisms, then into little paleozoic shrimp-like creatures, then into bugs and fish and birds and mammals and monkeys and eventually humans. And ALL the vast variety of life on this planet COME ON! How do we get bumblebees (whom science says shouldn’t even be able to fly) and platypii (egg-laying mammals with venomous feet) and humans (who are animals so highly “evolved” that they’re capable of emotion and altruism and philosophy and music and all this crazy stuff) and all the way back to the single-celled organisms we still have when they ALL evolved from a single-celled organism?? There also exists a theory that the universe is a closed, contained, self-propagating system in which EVERYTHING that happens is a result of something else happening and therefore everything is just one huge, continuous web of interconnected webs of things happening and blades of grass affect the movement of stars and EVERYTHING in the whole universe is linked to EVERYTHING else in the universe and so everything is a product and a piece in the giant working machine of….existence. You following? So the freakyest question in that theory is…how did the universe create a tool with which to know itself? That tool is us. Because if the universe is just one big automatic machine, it has no consciousness. But we have consciousness. But we’re part of the universe, so we were made by the universe and have a role in the universe and yet we’re aware of being a screw in this massive machine? Whoah…my head’s exploding. See, theories like that make no sense to me because they’re entirely circular. And how did this big universe even get started on its Roop Goldberg chain-of-events existence anyway? Excellent question! Yeah, I think it was God.  Everything is just so…perfect. Albert Einstein said that the more he studied the stars, the more he believed in a higher power. I want you to know that I don’t think science and religion are mutually exclusive at all. I am deeply religious, and I love science. And the more science I learn, the stronger my belief becomes. This universe, and this life, leaves me absolutely speechless in awe of the one who designed it. The patterns of life are too complex, too intricate to be the product of mere accident. The universe is so vast, and the cell is so small, and yet each is so complex that it is worthy of millions of years of study to understand it, and we still don’t understand it completely! The planet is the perfect distance from the sun. The atmosphere is perfect for us. The food webs are all so magnificently interconnected. Our bodies literally have a mechanism for every possible necessary function that I didn’t even know was possible. Have you ever studied our bodies? THEY’RE FRICKIN INCREDIBLE! No one could dream up a world like this one, ever in their wildest fantasies. It’s just too amazing and wonderful and mysterious. I CANNOT believe that this was all the product of random chance. I think that it MUST have been the beautiful design of a brilliant and very creative, infinite, craftsman. The bible says that the skies declare the glory of the Lord, and I think that’s so accurate. The skies, the trees, the land. Everything. It’s all just so absolutely, magnificently, breathtakingly gorgeous. I think that He is such an artist. Man, I’m actually blown away by the colours and the textures and the patterns and the lines and curves and visual splendor of Nature. And then I think, “how could something so beautiful not be made by God?”  Because God is…everything. He’s beauty, He’s thought, He’s life, He’s love, He’s music. He is absolutely the purest, most perfect (although there are no degrees of affection), most holy, most wonderful, most lovely, most amazing….essence. He’s not a person or a thing. He’s…everything. And everything is Him. That doesn’t even make, sense, I know. I’m not some new age hippy that believes in the organic energy or everything, or in people’s auras, or that we are all God within ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I am a very socially conservative (probably politically too), traditional, orthodox, bible-believing Christian. But think about it: Nothing can exist apart from God. We can’t breath or blink or think without Him. He sustains our very existence. He sustains our very universe. It all arose from Him when He said “Let there be light” and there was light. He breathed everything into existence and therefore nothing is possible without Him. God is definitely the most beautiful thing I ever have or ever will encounter.  There is even evidence for the existence of God within ourselves. You cannot deny that everybody is constantly searching….for…something. We instinctively, inherently, detest the shallow, vain creatures we’ve become. We crave something of substance, something of value, in our lives. Everyone tries to be “deep”, you know? With quotes, and song lyrics, and photography, and poetry, and reading, and music, and science, and relationships. I don’t mean that as a bad thing, I just mean that it’s the way we’re wired. We want meaning in our lives. We want to make sense of that crazy, spinning mess we find ourselves in. We want to understand ourselves and each other. We want something…more. Something transcendent. Something ephemeral. Something intangible. Something spiritual. Something eternal. Every human being has a deeply spiritual need, and if you ignore that part of you, you will be unhappy and unfulfilled. And, call me crazy, but I think I have the answer to that craving. That’s called a soul. It’s who you are. Its your entire identity. And I think that it is still connected to it’s creator, Who is a being of spirit, like us. We really are, you know. We’re spirit creators. We just happen to be incredibly limited by the mortal forms we’re confined to at the moment. Anyway, your soul is crying out to be in communion, and in contact with God. It’s what we were made for!  Also, cool science fact of the day! The protein in our bodies, the one that is made to be the intercellular “glue”, the protein that literally holds our bodies together, is shaped like a cross. And there’s a verse in the bible that says that Jesus “holds all things together”

115 Christ is the visible image of the invisible God.     He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation,[a] 116 for through him God created everything     in the heavenly realms and on earth. He made the things we can see     and the things we can’t see— such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.     Everything was created through him and for him. 117 He existed before anything else,     and he holds all creation together.

(Colossians 1:15-17). Search it up: Laminin. There is ALSO a galaxy out there in the shape of a cross. Coincidence? Mwahaha, I think not! God, you so sneaky! 

FURTHERMORE!  The bible, which was written, like, forever ago (okay 2000-3000 years) contains some very uncannily accurate science facts! Which were most definitely unbeknownst to the writers of that time. Here is a lovely table for you viewing pleasure: 

I think it was C.S. Lewis who said, “I believe in God the way I believe in the sun. Not because I can see it, but because by it I can see everything else.” He also points out that arguing against God is a completely pointless endeavor because the faculties with which you reason out your arguments were given to you by God so you’re reasoning…against reason. That’s awkward. Classy guy, that C.S. Lewis. Another excellent book I highly recommend is by him, and it’s called Mere Christianity. He started writing it as an exhortation against Christianity. He set out to disprove it but in the process of attempting to do so, found that he could not and was thus converted. His fundamental issue was that all humans have an innate code of ethics. He goes into this in detail in the book, but I’ll do my best to summarize for you. Basically, we all have this standard of right and wrong in us, which is, surprisingly, not bred into us by society. It has nothing to do with societal pressures and is ingrained in our psyche from the time we’re created. 

What was the sense in saying the enemy were in the wrong unless Right is a real thing which the Nazis at bottom knew as as we did and ought to have practised? If they had had no notion of what we mean by right, then, though we might still have had to fight them, we could no more have blamed them for that than for the colour of their hair. 

Where did this standard come from? How could that exist if we were just the product of chance? And how do we even know what’s good and bad? It`s a fascinating read. 

If anyone will take the trouble to compare the moral teachings of the ancient Egyptians, Babylonians, Hindus, Chinese, Greeks and Romans, what will really strike him will be how very like they are to each other and to our own...Think of a country where people were admired for running away in battle, or where a man felt proud of double-crossing all the people who had been kindest to him. You might just as well try to imagine a country where two and two made five. 

The answer is that there must be some greater standard of good, outside ourselves, that we measure by. That’s God. 

If there was a controlling power outside the universe, it could not show itself to us as one of the facts inside the universe - no more than the architect of a house could actually be a wall or staircase or fireplace in that house. The only way in which we could expect it to show itself would be inside ourselves as an influence or command trying to get us to behave in a certain way. And that is just what we do find inside ourselves.

3. There actually is a great deal of historical credibility to the bible I know you said that there's "no proof of any reality to the bible", but the truth is that if we measured the bible by the same standards with which we measure historical documents, it would far exceed all other authoritative historical manuscripts in authenticity and credibility.  Historical manuscripts are judged on three criteria:  1) The number of existing manuscripts.  There are about 56000 existing original manuscripts which were part of the bible.  2) The Dating of the manuscripts. There's only like a couple centuries between the earliest manuscript and the first copy. In fact, here's a lovely chart I found when doing my research: 

3) The number of variant readings, i.e. the number of discrepancies between multiple versions of the original text. 

99.5 % of the bible is in agreement on theology, and 85% has perfect agreement even in spelling and punctuation! Which is incredible for a text having so many surviving manuscripts. 

Also, and just a side note on number 3 there, with such a vast number of surviving manuscripts, it is important to note also that it was transcribed by 40 different writers, in 3 different continents, over a period of 1600 years, in 3 different languages...and STILL has 99.5% accuracy! I just don't think that's humanly possible.  And finally, there is a staggering amount of prophetical evidence for the bible's veracity. It confirms itself by the prophecies in the old testament, say...Isaiah, being corroborated by the first-hand accounts in the new testament, such as Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. FOR EXAMPLE, in the fifth century B.C., a prophet name Zechariah predicted that Jesus would be sold for thirty pieces of silver, which would be used to purchase "a potter's field". 

12 And I said to them, “If you like, give me my wages, whatever I am worth; but only if you want to.” So they counted out for my wages thirty pieces of silver.

13 And the Lord said to me, “Throw it to the potter[a]”—this magnificent sum at which they valued me! So I took the thirty coins and threw them to the potter in the Temple of the Lord.

Matthew's account of Jesus' betrayal, written around 60-65 A.D, confirms this: 

3 When Judas, who had betrayed him, realized that Jesus had been condemned to die, he was filled with remorse. So he took the thirty pieces of silver back to the leading priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he declared, “for I have betrayed an innocent man.”

“What do we care?” they retorted. “That’s your problem.”

5 Then Judas threw the silver coins down in the Temple and went out and hanged himself.

6 The leading priests picked up the coins. “It wouldn’t be right to put this money in the Temple treasury,” they said, “since it was payment for murder.”[a] 7 After some discussion they finally decided to buy the potter’s field, and they made it into a cemetery for foreigners. 8 That is why the field is still called the Field of Blood. 9 This fulfilled the prophecy of Jeremiah that says,

“They took[b] the thirty pieces of silver—     the price at which he was valued by the people of Israel, 10 and purchased the potter’s field,     as the Lord directed.[c]”

Science tells us that the chances of that being a coincidence are 1 in 10^11....1 in 100 000 000 000. 

Alrighty, so there you go, my three reasons for believing in Christianity. Again, I'm not trying to convince you that I'm right, but I am trying to show you that I am a smart, educated, critically-thinking person who is not brainwashed. I'm a little bit defensive on the topic because my grade 10 chem teacher, although I dearly loved him, used to say that religious people were all like sheep being led off a cliff, and he compared belief in God to belief in garden fairies, which I highly resented.  I hope this has enlightened you, or interested you, or at least amused you! Til next time,  -Katherine

The strength of your faith is so awesome. I might not understand it, or have the same beliefs as you but i think it's SO cool that you can fully trust in your God and have no doubts about his love. Personally i'm not a religious person, i guess i'm somewhat spiritual but i don't consider it a big part of my life. But in certain situations i feel a compulsion to pray, because if i don't and the outcome is bad i'm always going to wonder "what if i had prayed?". Is that wrong?

No, I don’t think it’s wrong.

I feel like you believe that God exists in a vague, nebulous entity kinda way, and of course when one has even a faint idea that such a divine being exists, of course one would be curious and slightly awed. Especially in situations that feel overwhelming or impossible, it only makes perfect sense to turn to someone greater than ourselves. 

Furthermore, God is straight-up thrilled when you pray. The bible emphasizes repeatedly that God is attentive to His children. He hears your prayers and heeds them. In fact, He LOVES to hear your voice! His day is made when He hears that little voice go, “God? It’s me.” Just picture this: 

A very stressed-out looking angel is holding a clipboard and saying “God, we really need to deal with the Holy fountain of eternal chocolate in quadrant 6.” And God’s like “Wait wait wait wait. Shhhhh. Hear that? That’s Lauren! Listen! That’s my daughter Lauren talking to me!” And then He flings out His arms and yells, “QUIET EVERYONE!” The hustle of activity stops and everyone stares at Him. “Lauren’s talking!” He says. So all of heaven comes to a standstill to listen to Lauren talk to God. 

I just picked Lauren as a random name, but insert your own in that little story. Obviously, that’s hyperbole because although I dearly hope so, there might not actually be a holy fountain of eternal chocolate in heaven. That story was, however, a pretty accurate representation of how highly God thinks of you and your prayers. 

I just want to let you know that as big and humongous and powerful God is, He is still a very personal God. He knows you inside out and He delights in you. He thinks you’re the most amazing and fantastic thing in the world. And He wants to have a real relationship with you. Nothing would please Him more than to listen to you tell Him about your day every day. So it doesn’t have to be certain situations. It can be whenever, for any reason. 

So I’ll end this off by saying that your attitude is completely normal, and it’s not wrong. But I would encourage you to explore praying more, because it’s good for us, and it will help you understand God a bit better, and the two of you will be closer because of it, which, of course, is pretty frickin awesome :)

Peace and love! -Katherine 

Can you please watch the video "rapping for Jesus" and tell me your opinion on it? Thank you!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA just watched it, and I have to say that I always get a kick out of painfully awkward Christian videos. I make fun of myself all the time, because we can be a pretty ridiculous bunch. For example, I love the "Sh*tuff Christian Girls Say" video and quote it aaaaaalll the time hahaha.. "God is love, enough said. Hashtag, BOOM." There was one problem with the "Rappin' for Jesus" video, though. They kept saying that Jesus is their "n****"!! I think it was a misguided attempt to emulate rap culture and slang but really ended up being pretty disrespectful. I would personally NEVER EVER EVER EVER say that word! I know some people who say it, and they're like "I'm just joking" and I'm like "that's not funny." It's made sooo much worse by the fact that they are just. so. white. haha So..yeah. I honestly didn't take it very seriously and therefore found nothing excessively good or excessively bad about it. Except the n-word thing. That's not cool. What did you think of it? :P  Peace and love! -Katherine 

10 Awesome Quotes from C.S. Lewis

“Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.”

“The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.”

“You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

“A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.”

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

“God can’t give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.”

“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

“I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.”

Katherine Brown - Fill a Stable - Fill a Stable

Hi friends! This is me SHAMELESSLY promoting my latest fundraising venture! I'm participating in World Vision's "Fill a Stable" event with my university society. It would mean the world to me if you would donate and help us reach our goal of $1200.00.  Thank you in advance :) With love,  -Katherine

This is me externally processing.

My beliefs about equality and justice are, to me, the logical outpouring of Christ’s love in my life. God commands us to love our neighbours as ourselves. We are called to glorify God by loving people: indiscriminately and unconditionally. A passion for justice should flow naturally from this love. Injustice violates love. God, whose divine essence is love, is supremely and perfectly just. Our love, as Christians, would be incomplete if it did not seek to correct injustice. 

Jesus was the ultimate social justice activist. He was the great equalizer. He spent time with society’s most marginalized groups of people and never looked down on anyone for the situation or their choices. He met people where they were at. He got on their level. Jesus was not someone who stood back and regarded injustice or oppression from afar. He loved them personally and practically. He was involved in their lives. Furthermore, Jesus did not come to uphold an unjust and corrupt social system. He was radical. He was subversive. He upset the status quo. Jesus came to give sight to the blind, and to set free the captive and oppressed. Jesus is the model of social justice. 

It’s because of my deeply-rooted convictions, because of the belief in Jesus Christ that defines my whole life, because of this moral code to which I adhere, that I am so implacably passionate about social justice. This is why discrimination and intolerance offends and outrages me so much. This is why I fight for the rights of all marginalized groups. 

For the past three weeks, I’ve been teaching the gospel to children at a Christian summer camp. The curriculum I’m using is the 5 Gs of the Gospel: God, Guilt, Grace, Gratitude, Glory. When we talk about Gratitude, we talk about how people act when Jesus changes their life. People who know Jesus begin to act more like Him. And God loves people and we love God so we love people. Now here’s the kicker, for me: loving people and acting like Jesus means correcting injustice. It means feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, liberating the captive, including the outsider. It means accepting people. It means treating everybody the same no matter what their struggle is. 

YOUR GOSPEL IS INCOMPLETE IF IT DOES NOT INCLUDE JUSTICE. THE GOSPEL IS JUSTICE. JESUS IS JUSTICE. 

And here is the very big problem that I have right now. This camp that I work at is not as inclusive and tolerant as I am. I’ve talked to way too many people who think my feminist views are unbiblical. The policies of this camp regarding people who are homosexual are in the process of being decided, and I don’t know how it’s gonna go. I’m told that transgendered persons are not permitted to work there and may not be permitted to attend as campers either. Is it because “we don’t want to send the message to the campers that that kind of lifestyle is okay”? Because parts of my lifestyle in 2015 definitely weren’t okay and still aren’t and you would not want to send the message to campers that it’s okay, but I was still hired. Is it because “we just want to focus on teaching kids the gospel, and not engage in discussions about those kinds of topics”? Well this is a problem, because I believe that your gospel in incomplete without the part about treating everybody with respect and equality. How can you teach kids the gospel while discriminating against people who quite possibly need love and support and acceptance the most? 

I’m struggling with this because I think that equality and tolerance is so integral to the gospel message, and when I see an organization that doesn’t practise equality and tolerance, I feel that they are misrepresenting the gospel. I wouldn’t want to work for an organization like that any more than I’d want to attend a church that didn’t teach sound doctrine. I do not believe that those attitudes are of God. God is not about discrimination. And I want no part in it. 

Wow, that last answer I wrote was MASSIVE. I'm sorry anon, I just got really passionate about your question! I'm hoping that you appreciate my enthusiasm in question-answering and read the whole entire thing because I must admit, I think it's one of my better works of answer art. If you're staggered by its absurd length, again I apologize and entreat you to read it all anyway, to really understand what I'm trying to say. If not, at least skim it to get the gist of it. :P  Love, me :)

Kinda urgent (tho it may not sound it) I'm trans and I watched some videos saying bein trans is a sin. This disturbed me deeply. I'm afraid what if God wants me to stop my transition, or else I won't be able to be with him. If thats what Jesus meant by picking up my cross? I don't want to stop transition at all but I don't want to go against Him either. I'm scared and confused. I don't want to think my gender identity is a temptation from Satan since it's so deeply who I am. (1/2)

(2/2) I feel so distraught and like my world is coming apart. I feel distant from God and fearful of Him rather than knowing His love. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do or how to reconcile my gender identity with Him. It’s making me question my faith, when all I want is to be close to God. I know this may not sound urgent but it’s destroying me inside and I don’t know why. Do you have any thoughts on this whole thing? I’m sorry if this is a bother or not seemingly urgent.

Hi there, anon. I’m sorry those videos shook you so much – I’ve been there. It’s sucks, but it’s okay. You’re okay.

First off, I promise that God loves you so, so deeply. And God made you how you are. Jesus came that we might have fullness of life, not to make us live in fear or so that we might continue to live under the chains of social norms. Because the gender binary is a social norm – and we are called not to conform to the world but to be transformed in Christ.

God does not set ultimatums that force us to chop off pieces of ourselves, or squeeze ourselves into boxes that don’t fit, in order to live with God. This post has a quote from a womanist theologian on how God calls us to wholeness, and what that means for LGBT+ Christians in particular. And here is a post with a string of tweets that show how God loves us as we are – rather than saying, “In order to love you, I must make you into something else,” God says, “I receive you as you are – and I come to help you become your fullest, truest self.”

With all of the above information – that God comes to affirm our fullest selves – we do need to take the concept of carrying the cross into account as well. Luckily, Austen Hartke’s Transgender and Christian series has a video on how being trans is not “Our Cross to Bear.” (If you have trouble hearing videos, let me know and I’ll write out a synopsis of the video for you tomorrow!)

His videos “Self Denial or Abundant Life?” and “Abundant Life AND Self Denial?” are also ones that would help you understand how God calls us to abundance that includes transitioning. (Again, let me know if you need a textual summary of the vids.)

Jesus assures us that we can know sin by its fruit, and we can know goodness by its fruit. So let’s look at the fruits of trying to live as cis when we aren’t, versus the fruits of embracing being trans.

Common fruits of living as cis when we aren’t: depression and anxiety from dysphoria; feelings of isolation from other humans and from yourself; feelings of anger, often against God, and thus a lack of strong relationship with God

Common fruits of embracing being trans: gender euphoria!; renewed energy and feelings of joy and thanksgiving that we can use to serve and connect with others as well as to praise God; deeper understandings of ourselves and new experiences that may shape who we are and give us wisdom; a connection to a marginalized community that helps us develop empathy we can use to serve others.

(Some Austen Hartke vids related to these ideas of good fruit: x, x). 

Embracing being trans bears good fruit, while trying to repress it (as well as transphobia) tends to bear harmful fruit. For more on the idea of good fruit, see this tag. Satan is not “making” you trans, because if that were the case, it would not bear good fruit.

God delights in diversity, anon. We are all made so uniquely, with different gifts to offer. I believe being trans is a part of that – we have a unique perspective to offer others – a unique view on our bodies, our minds and spirits, on the gender binary and harmfulness of gender roles, and more. 

Another video to help calm your worries about physically transitioning, this video by Austen is helpful too. 

Here’s a prayer on transitioning that also might help.

For more resources, including responses to common arguments against trans/LGBT people using Scripture, see the “But what does the Bible say?” and the trans section of our resources page. 

I’m going to post now so you’ll have this; I might add to it tomorrow so keep a lookout for updates. Take a look at the links, and take a moment for some self care. Then, if you have more questions, you are welcome to ask them here! We are here for you anon; you are not alone. <3

Just watched your suicide video and although i understand your premise and the meaning behind posting it, I think you're almost blocking out the fact that sometimes suicide isn't about circumstances or a bad choice along the way, it's about serious depression and just literally having no desire to live so unhappily day to day. For some people being one in 7 billion or being here for a reason isn't enough when living is much harder than it should have to be.

That is an excellent point and I think that you're absolutely right. I apologize for my oversight and I promise that it was not intentional. Depression and suicide is such a complex issue and I wish that I knew exactly what to say to fix everything, but of course, I don't. Also, I cannot possibly understand what someone is going through when they're in that situation. I do know that I have a couple friends who've been there and they're doing much better now than they were. I will address that aspect right here right now. What would I say to those people? Hmmm..

"Open up to people. Don't do this alone, because there are people who want to help you. I have noooo idea what you're going through but I'll listen if you want to talk. I can't possible understand how hard this is but I do firmly believe that fighting this and beating it will be the best thing you ever do. And I'm always here for you." 

Here's some advice from people who actually know what they're talking about:

"It gets better, as much as I know it doesn't seem like it and it feels like it never will, I promise it will. Many people said that to me but when you're in that dark place it's so hard to understand! I never thought I would even make it to grade 11, let alone graduate high school. And look at me now! I'm moving away and feeling unstoppable! It will get better. You have to go through the worst before you can get to the best. You need to try your hardest to become a fighter, even though it seems like there's nothing worth fighting for, I promise there is!!!!" - Lauren

"The first thing I think is for you to be open to your family that you are battling the illness. I went through all of grade 12 without telling a soul and I deeply regret it. After telling my family the fight was much easier I found. The thing with depression is that you essentially feel conpletely alone. I thought no one felt the way I did. So once you've found the right people to trust and you realize you have a support system, your perspective can begin to change. As it turned out, I met someone, who became my best friend, who had a similar story to mine. Finding someone who feels the way you do can work miracles. 

Don't get me wrong I was terrified to tell anyone. It was only when I began to seriously contemplate ending my life that I realized I needed help. I don't want anyone to get to that point. It's scary, and I want people to feel they can be open about their thoughts and feelings much sooner than I had. So in saying that if you have any suicidal thoughts or are hurting yourself, it may be more important to seek professional help ASAP. For me, It's still a fight each and every day but I'm not in danger anymore. 

There are many blogs and chat rooms online for people battling depression. You can anonymously share your story or read those of others and can seek coping help. It helps to see that you aren't alone!

The biggest thing is to lean people do love you and care about you. Each person can find their own reason to get out of bed in the morning, it just takes some time!" - Bethany

These are two amazing young women who have been in school with me since kindergarten and now they're going off to fashion design school and doing science degrees and becoming astronauts and stuff! They're incredible, and I love them both. They both told me that they're open to talking with anyone who needs to talk, and they're more than willing to share their story. 

Again, I apologize for neglecting to address that side of the issue. Bottom line, I want everyone to keep living, and I firmly believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that suicide is most definitely not the answer, and depression IS beatable. 

Thank you for bringing this to my attention :)Peace and love! (so much love)-Katherine