"I Think That If You're A Half Decent Person, You'll Get Into Heaven."

Don't be fooled by kids and their follies, you have wisdom beyond fear.

I don’t know where this came from but I like it!

Just watched your suicide video and although i understand your premise and the meaning behind posting it, I think you're almost blocking out the fact that sometimes suicide isn't about circumstances or a bad choice along the way, it's about serious depression and just literally having no desire to live so unhappily day to day. For some people being one in 7 billion or being here for a reason isn't enough when living is much harder than it should have to be.

That is an excellent point and I think that you're absolutely right. I apologize for my oversight and I promise that it was not intentional. Depression and suicide is such a complex issue and I wish that I knew exactly what to say to fix everything, but of course, I don't. Also, I cannot possibly understand what someone is going through when they're in that situation. I do know that I have a couple friends who've been there and they're doing much better now than they were. I will address that aspect right here right now. What would I say to those people? Hmmm..

"Open up to people. Don't do this alone, because there are people who want to help you. I have noooo idea what you're going through but I'll listen if you want to talk. I can't possible understand how hard this is but I do firmly believe that fighting this and beating it will be the best thing you ever do. And I'm always here for you." 

Here's some advice from people who actually know what they're talking about:

"It gets better, as much as I know it doesn't seem like it and it feels like it never will, I promise it will. Many people said that to me but when you're in that dark place it's so hard to understand! I never thought I would even make it to grade 11, let alone graduate high school. And look at me now! I'm moving away and feeling unstoppable! It will get better. You have to go through the worst before you can get to the best. You need to try your hardest to become a fighter, even though it seems like there's nothing worth fighting for, I promise there is!!!!" - Lauren

"The first thing I think is for you to be open to your family that you are battling the illness. I went through all of grade 12 without telling a soul and I deeply regret it. After telling my family the fight was much easier I found. The thing with depression is that you essentially feel conpletely alone. I thought no one felt the way I did. So once you've found the right people to trust and you realize you have a support system, your perspective can begin to change. As it turned out, I met someone, who became my best friend, who had a similar story to mine. Finding someone who feels the way you do can work miracles. 

Don't get me wrong I was terrified to tell anyone. It was only when I began to seriously contemplate ending my life that I realized I needed help. I don't want anyone to get to that point. It's scary, and I want people to feel they can be open about their thoughts and feelings much sooner than I had. So in saying that if you have any suicidal thoughts or are hurting yourself, it may be more important to seek professional help ASAP. For me, It's still a fight each and every day but I'm not in danger anymore. 

There are many blogs and chat rooms online for people battling depression. You can anonymously share your story or read those of others and can seek coping help. It helps to see that you aren't alone!

The biggest thing is to lean people do love you and care about you. Each person can find their own reason to get out of bed in the morning, it just takes some time!" - Bethany

These are two amazing young women who have been in school with me since kindergarten and now they're going off to fashion design school and doing science degrees and becoming astronauts and stuff! They're incredible, and I love them both. They both told me that they're open to talking with anyone who needs to talk, and they're more than willing to share their story. 

Again, I apologize for neglecting to address that side of the issue. Bottom line, I want everyone to keep living, and I firmly believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that suicide is most definitely not the answer, and depression IS beatable. 

Thank you for bringing this to my attention :)Peace and love! (so much love)-Katherine 

I've neglected the questions in my askbox for soooo long so I'm gonna answer them now sorry ok bye

How do you feel about the scandals that revolved around the Christian brothers (sexual assault towards youth) in Newfoundland and other similar scandals? Things like this have caused many to loose confidence with their faith, what are your thoughts on that?

Hey baby! (Don’t be weirded out, I use a various terms of endearment with all my friends and acquaintances) 

And ugh. I have a bunch of different thoughts on this topic. I’ve heard soooo many different opinions on this. I’ve heard of churches going door to door to collect donations to bail priests out of jail, priests who were incarcerated for sexual assault on a minor. Now, the reliability of these reports is dubious, at best. I honestly cannot formulate an opinion on that idea, or its truth. Now, in my own church, we had a scandal a couple years back. One of the pastors at my church was convicted of sexual deviancy, the likes of which is apparently a crime. Man, I dunno what happened. It was kind of a mess, tbh. Obviously, he lost his job at my church and I’m pretty sure with the PAONL in general. I also think they told him he could be re-ordinated if he took counselling and stuff. 

First up. Obviously, pastors/priests/reverends/whatever are people just like the rest of us. They’re gonna screw up. That’s a-given. But when they screw up in such a way that it hurts other people, we absolutely must acknowledge it. We must acknowledge the damage done, and we must take steps to show that we acknowledge it and to attempt to rectify it. I am sorry, but child pornography, and sexually assaulting young boys, or whatever, that’s straight-up awful. And I would be in 100% agreement with the church if they fired the people who committed these crimes. Any other company would. We don’t have to pretend like we’re perfect. It’s no secret that we’re really not. To preach sexual purity and selflessness and love for others and a straight moral path and then to defend those who CLEARLY violate these teachings is hypocritical, it’s not grace. Hate the sin. Love the sinner. But really, really hate the sin. Don’t defend it. Don’t excuse it. Don’t justify it. Hate it. 

On the other side of that, grace is a part of this too. Churches are full of hypocrites. That’s why we’re there. We as Christians do not think we’re perfect, rather we are acutely aware of our imperfection. We strive everyday to become more Christlike but it is a battle against our very nature and by default is possible only by the grace of God. We absolutely must forgive and accept the people who commit these heinous crimes, because that’s what God does.

I know it’s really hard for us to wrap our brains around, but all sin is equal to God. Lying is the same as murdering. Envy is the same as rape. It sounds ludicrous to us, because human morals have a measurement of severity, based on the effects the transgressions have on the people around us. God’s only measurement is “perfect” or “not perfect” and any sin, no matter how awful, or how trivial, is in the “not perfect” category. Romans 3:23 says “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” …”fallen short of the glory of God”. That’s what sin is. It literally means not being divine. Well if that’s the definition, then heck yeah everybody has sinned! 

So my point in saying that is that we need to forgive even the worst of humans, because we are just like them. I listened to this talk by Judah Smith about how we hate Barrabbas so much, the guy the jews told Pontias Pilate to free instead of Jesus. He was a murderer and they let him go free instead of Jesus! Like what the heck? Oh wait a minute…he’s me. Jesus bought his freedom just like he bought mine. We are all the same. We sin the same and God loves us the same. 

HOWEVER. All our actions have consequences. Forgiving someone and extending grace to them does not always mean that they will be exempt from the consequences of their actions. Losing your job and going to jail may be the consequences of your actions. So be it. That’s only fair, as far as fair goes on earth. 

And finally, people are gonna let you down. They’re going to shock, dismay, disappoint and hurt you. We are an imperfect being, plagued by mortality. But don’t give up on God. He’s the only one who will not disappoint you. I know His church screws up. I know some of His so-called “followers” are batcrap crazy. I know He gets a bad rep cause people misuse His label and they say one thing but do another. I know, I know, I know. I heard a comedian put it this way: “I like Elvis but I don’t like all his crazy fans.” This is why I think it’s so important for the church to be very careful about their reaction to scandals like this so that we demonstrate that we acknowledge the pain and the damage, we do not condone the behaviour, we apologize for it while still being gracious. It’s a very tricky situation. But at the end of the day, everyone’s relationship with God is their own business and their own responsibility. No one’s gonna take the credit or the blame for your eternity. My advice is to look past the stupid manmade institution called Religion. [Sidenote: I am a strong advocate of the church. I love the church. I think serving and being a part of a body of believers who will edify you in your faith is awesome.] Because God cannot be contained by a building or a group of people or a list of rules or even an idea in your head. 

God is bigger and greater than anything we’ve ever known or ever will know. He is the first, the last, the everything. He is in all and through all and nothing can be apart from Him. So don’t diminish Him to the church. Find out for yourself who He is. Read the Bible, spend time in prayer, don’t rely on secondhand information. Be a critical thinker and find out about God yourself. And find a church that you think exemplifies biblical values well and that you feel is good for you at this point in your life. 

That’s all I have to say :P 

Thanks for the question! Peace and love!-Katherine 

For God so loved the world that He sent His one and only Son to die for your mean neighbor and your crazy roommate and the picketing bigot and the racist blogger and your gay friend and all the politicians and our crazy parents and the pastor down the street and the uptight religious folk and the girl at work you can’t stand, because Jesus didn’t just die for the people you like, but for people like you and me.

Out of all the things I’ve received at pride parades, as a Christian, this one is my favorite.

Is masturbation a sin?

Oi. Okay, um…I won’t say that this is a “complicated” question, per se, but I will say that it’s going to be hard to clearly explain my thoughts on the subject. So just bear with me. 

Disclaimer: because you used the word sin, I’m assuming you want a Christian perspective, which is really the only perspective I give anyway :P So that’s what this will be. 

From a biblical perspective, I think that the act itself of masturbation is not a sin, but the reasons we do it can be sinful. 

A few years ago, I wondered this very thing and I went in search of answers but couldn’t find anything conclusive. There are too many different interpretations of the bible, too many different pastors with different opinions. Since then I’ve matured (a tiny bit) and I’ve come to my own conclusions. And here they are: 

Sexual health professionals say that masturbation is healthy and, of course, they’re right. It’s necessary, in fact. Especially for guys. Male bodies are producing sperm and semen from a pretty young age, waaaaayy before they’re ready to get married and/or have sex. It needs to be ejaculated. You can’t just ignore that. So masturbation is necessary and healthy. Okay, cool. 

Also, the bible, which mentions many other sexual sins and perversions in lurid detail, does not mention masturbation once. NOT ONCE. NOT A SINGLE TIME. Isn’t that odd? Every single other sin is mentioned in the bible, but masturbation is not. Hmm…must be cause masturbation is not a sin! 

But here’s why people might try to convince you it’s a sin, and why you’re wondering whether or not it’s a sin. The bible does mention lust. It compares lust to adultery (Matthew 5:28), it repeatedly tells us to flee from sexual immorality, it speaks of covenant eyes (Job 31:1) so we can safely assume that lust is not a good thing. The catholics even put it in their seven deadly sins! 

And we have a problem because lust is a thing of the heart and the mind, and masturbation is a thing of the body, but the heart and mind are inextricable linked to the body. Therefore, masturbation is *almost* always connected to a sin, because it is accompanied by sexual fantasies about the girl/guy in our english class, or that model; or because it’s accompanied by porn. [Sidenote: porn is definitely sinful. That absolutely falls into the lust category. Also, porn is highly addictive. Like, family-ruining, job-losing addictive. And before you know it, you’re being treated for depression and ADHD when all that was really wrong with you was a porn addiction. See here.] So because we may be struggling in our hearts with lust, we will also be struggling in our bodies with masturbation. I found this quote on this website that I thought explained it rather well: 

“Specifically, if the act is done merely as a hedge against temptation and as thebody requires then there is no need for the above sinful “crutches”. This is hardly exciting, and a rote act of keeping the body in submission. It cannot be done often, as the body is not that demanding if left alone by a perverted imagination.”

So in conclusion, masturbation is not the sickness, but it can be a symptom. I rarely say stuff like this, because I’m not really an authority on…well, anything. However, I want to say it in this situation: IF you (you meaning anyone) feel like you’re struggling with masturbation, here are some things I want to tell you:

1. Bear in mind that masturbation is not the sin. You are probably suffering from some “soul-sickness”. And getting better is not about trying to go as long as you can without masturbating. Trying to go more than 24 hours without masturbating, or trying to go two days, or a week…that’s not dealing with the real issue. That’s just frustrating for you. Getting better is dealing with what’s really going on - your heart and mind are out of line. It might be a porn addiction. It might be frequent fantasizing, or staring a bit too long at that person. Whatever it is, if you deal with that, the masturbating thing will take care of itself. 

2. Don’t be ashamed. Sometimes, the church puts this stigma on sexual sins and we can’t talk about it and it’s all so hush-hush. But it’s better to talk about it than to try to deal with it on your own. That being said, talk to someone you can trust. Someone who loves you. Someone who will be discreet and sensitive and actually try to help. 

3. PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY! We are not capable of turning off lustful thoughts at the flip of a switch. We do not have that much control over our own thoughts. We need a lot of help. And read your bible, because having your head filled with God’s word is a good way to keep impure thoughts out. 

4. Remember that God loves you and I love you no matter what. :)

Thanks for the question :) I hope that what I said made sense at least, and at best was somewhat helpful. :) Peace and love! -Katherine 

I'm Turning 20 In 10 Days

"I've come so far but I've got so far to go." 20 strikes me as a very odd age indeed. You're two decades old. You're no longer a teenager. You have a different digit at the beginning of your age. I mean, you've had the same first digit since you were 10 years old. And we can all agree that 10 is a very young age. It's a big deal. You're entering into the decade of your life where so many things are supposed to happen. Between the ages of 20 and 30, you might finish post secondary education, start a career, fall in love, move out, get married and have kids. All of those things might happen while the number 2 is the first debit of your age. And I'm not gonna lie, that freaks me out. Adding to my disquiet is the fact that one of my friends is 20 and got engaged just the other day. I'm thrilled for her and panicked for me, and it's implications regarding the stage of life I am entering. Might I add that it did not help when my father said "that's how old I was when I got engaged." It does not worry me that I am single and will not be engaged at the age of 20. What worries me is that I might be expected to be engaged at the age of 20. There's only one day's difference between being a teenager and being an adult. Teenagers have a reputation for doing dumb stuff. But adults are expected to make informed, logical decisions in life changing situations. I know that 24 hours is not going to make that big a difference in my decision-making skills. 20 is a grown up age. But it will not belong to a grown up life. I still live at home. I still ask my parents' permission. I still eat Nutella with a spoon. I still have stuffed animals. I still hate homework. I still have sleepovers. I still get stupid little crushes. For all intents and purposes, I am a child! And yet I feel as though at the age of 20 I'm supposed to undergo some transformation and move out and have a career and find a mate. And then you begin contemplating the future. Do you know what it feels like when all the moments yet to come have weight and they press down on you? When all the breaths yet to be breathed turn to lead in your lungs? When you're suffocating under the expectations of others and your own expectations for yourself? The future is heavy with paths to be chosen, mistakes to be made, hearts to be broken, prices to be paid. Like a stormcloud with rain, it's full of successes and failures, joy and sorrow, triumphs and disappointments. And you begin to wonder, how on earth am I to weather these storms of life without an umbrella? I'm not entirely gloomy about this birthday. I know the future has limitless potential for optimism and that life is what you make it and I'm very excited to become an adult! I can't wait to move out and try new things and explore brave new worlds. That being said, I'm also straight up terrified. And with that thought, I bid you goodnight.

My Commitment as a Christian

Just wanted to share this. It was written by a young pastor in Africa and tacked on his wall.

 I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of His. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

  My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.

  I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

  My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

  I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problems recognizing me - my banner will be clear!

Stop feeling ashamed of being human.

A lesson I am still learning.