I Come Back After A Fucking Week And No "what Happens "are You Okay" Or Anything From Him. Fucking Bullshit.

“So like you, I'll end my suffering

Cause you rape and you take it all away

Cause you rape and you take it all away

Fuck you”

i have posted too much today, I'm going to rot away until the 25th or unless something happens

nice weather now means once in a while room wasp

today's wonderful. my chest fucking hurts like I cant breath but I'm breathing fine. I'm so fucking pissed at everything. i wanna throw hands at a teacher, I swear she's trying to fail me now, I wanna skip this stupid concert, I wanna yell at the director and how she's doing a shit job at teaching, I don't understand this math assignment and I have an A in math so I should understand but I don't, I don't want to stay till the bus I want to go home, its been three months since I've heard from A, I wanna fucking mess up my body and cut everywhere, music is not blocking out anything. FUCK THIS SHIT.

honestly just getting more and more afraid to ever get into another/new relationship because of this. I'm afraid, I'll be constantly afraid that they'll just suddenly leave one day too. I'll get overly too attached and clingy. on top of my already constantly splitting on people. I'm just fucking afraid now because of him.

i feel so bad to the point I wanna cut

also cry, but I can't cry so I'll just sit feeling like this

“I feel like a loser without any future

cut open my head

and rip out the tumor

you make me wanna fucking end it sooner

let me respawn like a first person shooter”

you don't care you don't care you don't care about me. I told you. I told you and you only acknowledge it with a "oh" before changing topics. what's new. nothing's fucking new cause you don't care about me. you'll respond with the same thing if I told you I'll be bleeding out on the bathroom floor tonight.