All I Keep Thinking Is

not being able to kill myself is the worst feeling

wonder how he'd feel if he knew and saw the extent of my cutting and scars.

he should leave me. i don't want to be cared about. (he doesn't care about me anyways, made that clear)

"when did you become such an ungrateful little urchin." "i did not teach my child to be this cruel to their mother"

i dunno. maybe when I became sick, wanna die on a daily, and started hating you and everyone else

just a possibility

I'm taking this as a ghosting/breakup. 4 years to nothing I guess.

I love how I even told him of how much I've been trying to die and failing lately. and all he has to say is "mm.."

im getting so fucking upset I'm about to look for attention in the wrong people and places again.

can I really call this crying? when all that happens is my eyes well up with water and only one or two tears fall and they don't even make it far before it stops.

“I love you.”

No you don't.

hate that I'm 19 and done with high school now

gotta actually find a job, especially if I plan on taking a gap year or not going to college at all

when you are very bad for years, people no longer worry.

you become invisible, a ghost.

I can leave now, everyone has forgotten me.

i hate being sick so much